S2 EP 20 The Hidden 2%: Who’s Quietly Sabotaging Your Success

WEBVTT - The Hidden 2%: Who’s Quietly Sabotaging Your Success Welcome to building billions. Building a 10 billion, 100 million, billion, or multi-billion dollar business is actually based on three things consistency, velocity and results. I built, scaled and exited and rebuilt many businesses in my career. If you're serious about creating something that has real enterprise value, stay tuned.

This is building billions with Brandon Dawson. There are people in your life right now who are quietly destroying everything you're trying to build. And the worst part of it is you probably think they're on your side. Over two decades of building businesses and dealing with people, you'd think I'd know it all.

But here's the truth I'm still learning every day. But what I do know is this 20% of the people you meet might cause you problems, but for sure, 2% of them will quite literally destroy you with a smile. So these are the seven types of people you need to quietly eliminate from your life before they sabotage your success. The first type is one that doesn't actually threaten overtly.

It's actually the chronic manipulator. They twist the facts, they guilt trip you. One conversation with them and you'll always come out as the one who got it wrong. The problem is, these people aren't brain rotted idiots without an original thought.

They can be smart, sneaky, educated, and they can be just subtle enough to confuse you. I'll give you an example of this. I had this one guy I hired. He had a great pedigree and when I played golf with him, he would use that time to mention or talk about somebody, oh, this person that works for you, they're a nice person, but I found out they really don't know how to do this, that or the other thing.

Oh, this employee who's been there for a long time, they're really loyal. At least they seem that way. But the truth is behind the facts. They're skipping out on doing things that they're supposed to do.

And they used the time that you're giving them to subtly Undermine anyone who could be a threat because they're trying to put distance. Even if it's just a little bit between you and them, so they can feel like they're adding value to your life. And let's be honest, if you're questioning people in your organization or relationships you have, you're already a little susceptible to this. And if you're spending time with someone that you presume you trust and you like, you're giving them more input and they're filling those little cracks in your brain with their perspective, intention, confusion, manipulation.

And they do it with the intent of being your friend. For example, these people won't attack you directly. They're usually planting little seeds about everybody else. It's always just enough for you to second guess somebody else and lean into the one talking to you.

The truth is, those people doing that are actually destroyers of your business. They tried to make themselves the most important person in your universe, and by making it easy for you because you're honestly busy and you're sharp and it's below you. So let them do it. That's what they're there for.

If people around you are using that language, those are the ones you need to watch. They are the 2% waiting in the weeds. Run off. All your good people make you dependent on them.

And then guess what they'll be saying next to you? I saved your business. I'm the one that solved all your problems. The second a direct conversation leaves you more confused than clarified.

No data. They're planting their seeds all over you in order to try to gain control of you. How do you get rid of them? Remove them as soon as you feel that these people are in your sphere of influence and whatever they say about third parties, go put your attention on the third parties.

Talk to them. See what language and communication cycles they're using, see what results they're getting. Stop listening to the words and start focusing on every single person's actual results. Let the data tell you what's going on.

Not the manipulator. The second type of person you need to remove from your life. And the sooner the better is the permanent victim. With this person, nothing is ever their fault.

Every single conversation becomes emotional. It becomes a dumping session. They collect grievances all along the way while other people are trying to collect wins. I had this guy working for me who literally say he gave up his life for this company.

He used the fact that I was so committed to the company, I was willing to get a divorce to a wife I was only married to. Can you imagine being with someone for years and years and years, marrying this person and getting a divorce a few months later, and then blaming the company? It's so ridiculous. The fact is, he was cheating on his wife and she found out like that's the truth.

The victim never accepts the consequences of their actions. They defer. They deflect, they blame, they project. And guess what?

It's your fault because you didn't smile at him and tell everybody how great they are. They accept zero responsibility, even if it's obvious they've become a dirtbag. Here's the truth. The deeper issue with permanent victims is they use their suffering as a shield to protect and justify everything they're doing.

And you can't even try to hold them accountable because they're already going through so much. Come on, give me a break. You can't challenge him because now you're a villain. If someone's entire personality has been what's been done to them, well, that's usually a great place for you to know that those are victim mentality people who use and abuse their stories, and they try to hide that inappropriate behavior by being all in but victimized by you.

They're simply recruiting you into their excuse factory, you've become part of their justification shield. They're not gonna see this honestly for themselves. These people are too gone. They're delusional.

When you have somebody that starts projecting and sometimes they do this on their first job interview, we've missed it. You imagine sitting there interviewing somebody for your business that you're so freaking excited about, that you're gonna take to the next level. And they start the interview with, what is it about us that you love so much that you wanted to come here? And here's what the person will say.

Well, I wanted to come here because I heard you treat your people fair. I hear you treat them equitably. I hear you treat him with respect and dignity. The last place I came from, and they weren't fair.

They didn't treat people with respect. They didn't treat people with dignity. My old boss. You should yell at me.

The police wouldn't give us time off. The place wouldn't give us free food. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. If someone looks you in the eye and says, I'm here because I think you have the greatest company, I think you have the greatest leadership.

I think I can be one of your best contributors. I am committed to my personal, professional financial goals. I want to succeed here because what you're doing is cool, or are they coming to you? Because everywhere else they treated him bad and they victimized him.

If you pay attention to what people say, they will tell you what they're thinking. Because what you think is what you say. What you say is what you do. And what you do is what you're known for.

I guarantee you, that person you're interviewing that's puking up all the reasons they came to you, because how violated they've been everywhere else. You talk to people where they came from, they're going to say the greatest day in their lives was when that person left that company. Don't be the next person saying the same thing. Now that leads us to the third person.

You shouldn't have in your life at all. I call them the boundary violator. You're just overreacting. If you really cared about me and what I'm going through, you'd pay more attention to what I'm telling you.

That's what you'll hear. And it all circles back to them. Their needs, their feelings, their perspective. Your boundaries become inconvenient.

Obstacles they feel entitled to Bulldoze whenever it suits them. These people ignore your roles. They ignore your responsibilities. They ignore your authority, your privacy, your emotions.

And when you call them on it, they flip it right back on you. Here's why this matters more than you actually think. Every time you let a boundary violation go unchecked. And trust me, I have done this.

I've justified it. I've overlooked it. I've ignored it. The problem is, every time you do it, you're telling them whether you mean it or not, that your limits are negotiable and people like this.

Oh, man, they're freaking tenacious. They never stop. They keep going until you have nothing left to protect. Your boundaries are not requests, and anyone who treats them like suggestions does not belong in your environment.

Well, you've mistreated me this whole time. That person that you might actually think is your friend, your closest friend, your closest ally will all of a sudden be the first one at the lawyer's office saying, these people mistreat me and they do things wrong, and they do things inappropriately and try to get money even for lying about you. I mean, these people go to every ends of the earth to bury you. You need to get him out of your circle because actually some people that are legit and serious see these people, they see the danger, they see the risk, and they'll quietly move away because quality people, they don't need to confront or conflict, just move on.

The ones that are in your environment, they will remind you every day. They created everything. The fourth type can double the amount of problems in your life or your business. And I call those people the jealous advisor.

And it's one of the most destructive things that can happen in a business. The dynamics of a jealous advisor. I had this person that worked for me once. They'd come and say to me, you don't need to take that meeting.

I'll take it for you. I got a handle. You're more important than that little meeting. You got better things to do.

I got it, don't worry about it. Okay, great. I got enough going on. They sound like they're protecting your time.

But here's what actually is happening. When he got in those rooms, he would tell people, I'm the decision maker here, so you need to work through me. Brandon doesn't really know how to make these decisions. He doesn't really know how to focus or do this area.

And so he's asked me to skip it. You're just going to need to deal with me. This person created more chaos, more problems than I've ever had to deal with. Actually, in an organization, he had the audacity to tell me I did all this, I created everything, I got rid of this person, and then I circled back to all the people supposedly they worked with and did all these things.

Nothing was done. No one knew where things landed. Not one person asked me, where did they go? It's like they never existed in the first place.

When someone keeps coming to you saying, I'm not sure Sarah is really being honest with you. Those are the jealous people. Those are the ones trying to insert themselves into a position of power because they're jealous. You have the respect or you have the power, or you have the relationship.

These people are starved for power. They're starred for respect. They're starved for relationships because they don't know how to be that for somebody else. And that alone just makes them jealous.

Go back and apologize to the people that you subjected to this torment, and apologize to them and say, I will never do that to you. Get close to your loyal people. You should know who they are. The fifth, and this one's actually impossible to fight, is the emotional landmine.

Researchers at the University of Michigan found that a single negative interaction with someone has 4 to 7 times the psychological impact of a positive one. Think about that math one blow up from this person at breakfast erases an entire week of good days. The anticipation alone rewires your whole nervous system. Your brain starts running on threat detection 24 seven.

You're burning cognitive fuel on someone else's mood before you've spent a single calorie of your own time, your own energy towards your own goals. They create an environment where you are constantly managing their emotions instead of managing your business, your people, or your own life. You go along with the things you don't agree with because confrontation with the team is so draining and so distracting that it doesn't feel worth the fight. And here's the trap.

Your silence is their weapon to manipulate others. It sounds like this. I talked to Brandon and when I brought it up, this thing we're talking about, he asked me what my opinion was, and I told him, you know what? I agree with you now.

Your own non-confrontation became their weapon. So here's what you need to do. If somebody in your life is making you feel like every conversation could detonate at any second, you're walking on eggshells. The sooner you distance yourself from that person, the better off you are.

Number six is one of the hardest to act on because they don't always look like threats. I call them the energy vampires. It'll devour your business. The truth is, you don't have to be mean to any of these people in any of these points, because I'm just convinced at this point they don't even know they're doing it.

It's just who they are. They'll come in and tell you what, we tried that, but it failed. You didn't give enough coaching. This is not enough leadership.

It's just horrible. It's awful. Not one good idea, not one ounce of ownership. And that's the sign.

That's literally what you're looking for. And the best way to disarm this person is with one good question. If you were in charge right now and I wasn't here, what exactly would you do with this data now to change it? Oh, I.

Want to watch somebody melt down. Make them be accountable. See, the thing you need to realize is the bottom 18%, they're basically always sabotaging the company they work for. That means roughly 1 in 5 people around you could be doing this all day, but they're probably not doing it with you.

They're probably doing it with everyone around you. These are the ones that crush through negativity. Your ability to recruit great people. To inspire great people to get results in your business because these people are spreading like a cancer negativity.

It takes zero creativity. It accepts zero accountability. They point out every single flaw everyone else has. They blame everything.

Everyone and the conditions around them. Most importantly, you just not to your face. The reality is this even if they have the technical skill and even if it's great, they'll just create energy and they'll still destroy whatever good they could have done because they've already got the mindset. Everything else is already wrong.

And then they'll come tell you all the things are wrong because output amplifies input. Whatever they're putting out, a lot more comes back. It's the only way they can see things. Look at the results.

Look at the documents. Don't just listen. Now, how do you take these people with circular conversations and all this activity in the busyness and the smartness and the favor. I'm doing all these favors and all this distraction.

How do you actually isolate down who these are the same people that tell you sometimes they love you and they have your back. You can trust them. And while you're up talking to people behind your back, they're rolling their eyes. I would recommend that you stop being so busy that you don't have the time to pay attention to the other people being busy.

You start spending more of your time watching, seeing, recording, documenting facts, figures, results. It'll show you exactly what to look to. And trust me when you see that they're sucking the life out of you in your business. You ain't gonna feel bad about any of the decisions you make at that point.

And seventh and the final type, by the way, the one who will consume more of your time, your energy, your goodwill than all the others combined. If left unchecked, the one way street person, these are people. Everything's one sided. They want to be around you, not because they generally care about your life or your success, but they want their proximity to your inner circle so they can demonstrate to other people that they have access and they're important and that you need them.

They have your ear, they have your influence. They have your leverage. You try to be open and transparent and trust. But when you actually need something, they come up with excuses or they vanish or they don't actually follow through.

Then they pop back up. And if you didn't respond to their text or their questions, they act like jealous children and they project, blame, and criticize. Why didn't you answer me? Why didn't you respond?

Why did it take you so long? And then literally you give them everything and they go weeks and weeks and weeks and never respond. And instead of saying, you know, I'm sorry I had something else going on, you're right. Let me square this away.

Instead of that, it's do you know how important I am? Do you know how busy I am? Do you know how much I have going on? Do you know I'm bigger than you?

Do you know I work with more important people than you? It's attacking and attacking and attacking and criticizing. And here's the funny part. It was so obvious that about halfway through that cycle, I knew how it was going to end.

I just gave him the benefit of the doubt to prove who they really are. And these people, oh my, it's so spectacular. They're where all other six types converge. Manipulation, victimhood, boundary violations, jealousy, volatility, negativity.

It all stacks and summarizes right here. Because a person who takes everything and gives nothing will use every available tool to keep you locked in. And here's the truth you need to sit with it. If you've identified someone or yourself in some cases, who hits any of these seven types.

And if you don't accept that, that problem is no longer just them, it could also be you. Here's the simple fact because you lack the confidence or the courage to make the cut. Every day you delay that decision, you're literally just choosing their comfort over your future. If you've come this far to recognize these people, you already have done 50% of the work necessary to change your life.

The best way to make sure your one way street friend does not hurt you. The people that trust and know and like you, collateral damage around you is to distance yourself from them.