Exploring Gratitude in Hospitality: A Conversation with Brian Proctor

Speaker A: Welcome to season two of Bed and Butter, the hospitality podcast. Designed exclusively for budding students and aspiring industry leaders, the podcast is in partnership with Southern Maine Community College. We're thrilled to continue this exciting journey with you. Each episode will delve into the heart of hospitality, uncovering invaluable insights, trends and strategies. Join us along with culinary professionals, entrepreneurs, hotel and cruise line executives. Whether you're sharpening your skills or stepping into the world of hospitality for the first time, bed and Butter is your go to resource. So let's dive in and spread the knowledge one episode at a time.

Speaker B: One of the pleasures I have as a podcast host is to meet people of all walks of life, people who inspire others and lead with a zest for life. Well, today is no exception. Brian Proctor is a seasoned hotelier. Beginning his career with experience out of four Seasons, then a full service Western and Sheraton. He's held a number of corporate positions with numerous large companies. But I met Brian while listening to his podcast Tuesdays. Thanks. His mission for serving with gratitude is unique and inspiring. So sit back, relax, and get inspired. You know, today we're going to peel back the layers of the onion. That's Brian Proctor. Brian's been a leader in the hospitality business for decades. But, you know, Brian, you know, you're really still helping people, you know, one thank you at a time. So I want to give you a thank you first before we get going. You, you've been an inspiration to me in the short time we've got to know each other.

Speaker C: Wow, that's, uh, that's a pretty impressive way to start this call. Thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker B: Oh, my pleasure. And you know, I'll tell about how we met. I mean, you know, we met online. I mean, it's not a dating app or anything. We met online. But, uh, you know, you and I met and I was, I happened to do a post, I don't know, on Facebook or, uh, LinkedIn about. It was after the busy season that our team had. We have, you know, as you know, we have 800 associates and, and I could sometimes reach out to them on social media. It was just a thankful, you know, there was. They worked hard. They really did. And so unbeknownst to me, I get this guy. I didn't have a clue who he was. Brian Proctor. And, and you, you said, thank you for doing that. You said, you know, it doesn't often happen that a CEO would do that kind of thing. And so then I said, well, who is this guy? So then I went on, I Kind of stalked you online. Who was this guy? And I found. I saw this. Thank you, thank you Tuesday, thank you Tuesdays. Thank you. And. And something else was another name you use, like an appreciation kind of person. But it was really cool. And we were match made in heaven at that point.

Speaker C: Yeah, I thought it was cool the way you posted it. It was on LinkedIn. And this is my second act after many years in the corporate world, is focusing on gratitude and how gratitude can drive a lot of success, both personally and in the corporate world. So I was very impressed by it, and I'm glad we've since had the chance to connect. And I was lucky enough to have you on the show, which was great. And so that was a lot of fun.

Speaker B: So I think part of it was that we kind of said, okay, I'll be on your show if you'll be on my show.

Speaker C: Exactly.

Speaker B: It was great. And I think what's interesting, we probably have different demographics within our groups, but it's the same message. And I think your message is so. It resonates so much to me is the, you know, gratitude and thanks and appreciation. And I think in our. In our industry, which you've been in this industry for a long time, but with that, how much that can. Has helped us within our careers, and maybe we've become more in tune to it as we've matured through the time, but I think it's great. So I'm really appreciative of you being with us on a podcast. Uh, but let's go back to the beginning of Brian and how you get into this hospitality business. And we won't have to say how long ago it was. It was a few years ago anyway. But how did you get into it? How did you get started?

Speaker C: Well, all my jobs as a teenager were customer facing, whether it was packing groceries, you know, at a grocery store and that type of thing. But the one thing that stood out was one Sunday, my dad made a comment, hey, I've got to go in and practice a speech that I'm giving tomorrow. And I grew up in Montreal, Canada. And, uh, he said, anybody want to come downtown with me? And I said, sure. I idolized my dad. I said, you know, a chance to spend a Sunday afternoon with you. Great. Drove in the car, pulled up to a hotel called the Queen Elizabeth. Back then it was a CN Hotel or a CP hotel. And the doormen were all dressed in beefeater uniforms, you know, the rich colors. And we walked in and they knew my dad. They said, oh, Mr. Proctor, how are you? And I thought that was kind of cool. How do these people know my dad? And so my dad said, hey, listen, I've got to go practice my speech. Can you take care of Brian, take him into the Beaver Club, of all things, which was their formal dining room, where my dad's company had a table. Maitre d took me in. They served me food and, you know, whatever. And so, long story short, we're leaving. And as my dad told the story, when we were getting into the car, I looked at my dad, said, I'm going to run one of these places one day. And from there, I went to hotel school and just jumped right into it. But that's the story my dad always told when he was with us, was that's how I got into the business, was by virtue of that one visit and the impression that that hotel made on me.

Speaker B: It says a lot about us in the impressions we can make on guests and their children. I think when I. We talk to our teams about if you make of the person's child, you know, pay attention to the child, you might be better off than if you're paying attention to that dad, because that dad really wants to know that you, you know, you cared for his son. I think that's a great story. And it says multiple messages.

Speaker C: Yeah, no, it was. It was. It was the way I got into it. And like I said, I just followed. Followed from there.

Speaker B: So you had. Within your career, you've had a lot of. And I noticed you've worked for Four Seasons and Sheraton and a number of things kind of take us through the. Maybe the key jobs that really kind of made you who you are through your career.

Speaker C: Well, you know, I think looking back, there's two jobs that I look back on that made a difference in my career. I think one was when I was the director of rooms at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills, and. And I was recruited to be the resident manager at the Bellage Hotel in West Hollywood, which was an Interstate hotel. And nobody in their right mind would typically leave Four Seasons hotels to go work for Interstate. And that's not a slight on Interstate. It's just Four Seasons is kind of the top of the rung there. And I did it for a reason, because they told me I would be a GM within a year of joining Interstate versus Four Seasons, I knew I was at least six to eight years from being a gm. So by doing that and then Interstate, true to their word, you know, 14 months later, I got my first GM's job at a little colonial inn in La Jolla, California. So that really pushed my career along in my mind from being a director of rooms to a resident manager to a GM in 13, 14 months. That would never have happened if I'd stayed. So I thought that one was kind of key. And then another job that was key was when I was with Starwood, they asked me to be the general manager of a new thing they were doing, and it was called complexing two brands in one building. And I, for the life of me, Sean, have no idea why my bosses thought I would be good at this or why I was the guy. But we took a 600 room Sheraton in Indianapolis, made one tower Westin, one tower Sheraton, utter complete failure. I mean, we lost so much money

Speaker B: and, well, you were ahead of your time, maybe, because that's the thing now.

Speaker C: Well, it was the first one, right? And so the brands were battling, so I had to have two front desks. They had to be in separate uniforms. One brand said, oh, uh, we need our own restaurant. So now I was serving the same amount of people in two restaurants. Doesn't not rocket science, right? That's going to fail. But it failed miserably. So fast forward 18, 19 months, we. We converted it back. But the reason I bring that one up is because at a lot of companies, I would have been looked at as, well, this guy couldn't hack it, right? But with Starwood, it was like, okay, we tried it. It had nothing to do with me or our property team's failure. It was. The idea just didn't work. We were. It was the first one. And from there I got my next gig because I. I had been exposed. And I always tell the young people this. I had been exposed in that job to almost every corporate discipline. Marketing, brands, construction, anc, everything, sales, right? Because everybody was focused on making this a success, which it wasn't. But because of my ability to work with all of those people, my next gig, which was a corporate gig, came because of all that exposure. And I. And that put me onto the best 10 years of my life after that. And that was all because, you know, we failed. But luckily, I worked for a company that didn't look upon it as, all right, well, it's Proctor's fault. Get rid of him. It was like, no, he did a nice job on all these things. And that exposure was the key.

Speaker B: I think, you know, you raised your hand and you were willing to try something different as well. And I think, you know, what I found is for myself, in my Career. Would I raise my hand enough? Sooner or later I got chosen for something. And, uh, I've seen that within our organizations, sometimes people just want to sit back and wait till they get asked. But if someone says, geez, who wants to try this project? Who wants to do this? And they raise their hand, they raise their hand. It gets you to the point where you're running a dual branded hotel, which, you know, down the road become dual branded, which is a brand thing now in every one of the brands out there. But I had no idea. That's a great story. So then, uh, so what you, you learn too, about turning something negative into a positive?

Speaker C: Yeah. And you know, the, the other thing, you know, and just saying yes to the opportunity, right? And saying, okay, yes, I'm going to try it. And. Because they saw something in me that I probably had not seen in myself. And again, one of the things that I found from doing the podcast is, you know, I've now interviewed over 130 senior industry leaders, including yourself, and one theme comes through everywhere. It's just to say yes to every opportunity given you because your career is always going to zig and zag. It's never going to be a straight line. And the more experiences you can pull from that, the better leader you're going to be down the road. So that's another thing I preach to the younger managers is, if possible, I know that, you know, you may not be able to move across country, but if possible, say yes to when that mentor or leader or boss offers you a new opportunity that you may not have even been thinking about.

Speaker B: Yeah, uh, that is a great recommendation for not just young people. I mean, people make careers at any point. And you know that, you know, it's. I think sometimes you get easy. Sometimes it's nice to be stretched a little because that not only stretches what you can do in the future, but it also gets you out of a ruth. I mean, we, you, uh, know, we talk to a lot of leaders. You know, once you've been in the same job for years, years on end, then you're probably, you're getting stuck and you're not growing. And so therefore you might stay there a longer time. Whereas if you're willing to take a little bit of a stretch. So I think that's a great, that's a great story. You know, what, what skills and attitude really helped you with your career? I mean, how did you go from, you know, through that, through that transition? You were a vp. I mean, you were an OPS person. You're A gm, you're an VP or a chief Operating officer. How did you go through all that?

Speaker C: Well, first, let's start with the basics here, right? Number one, I am not the sharpest tack in the box, right. I, I, I never professed to be. I couldn't get into the university of my choice because my calculus mark was so low. I've never used calculus in the hotel business, but hey, it was important to somebody. And so what I took away from everything and what I think I was successful at in the skills and the attitudes was, you know, commitment to personal growth. I look, I always look for companies that committed to my growth in addition to me being committed to that. Right. So finding those companies that said, hey, we want to invest in you, and Starwood was a great example of that. I was very fortunate. The biggest thing for me was, you know, again, it's kind of a simple basic concept, but as I progressed through leadership roles, I always tried to take the time to find the right individual to do the job. Surrounding myself with people who were either subject matter matter experts or just very good at what they did was very important to me.

Speaker B: So you found someone in calculus?

Speaker C: Yes, uh, I found a good finance person who knew how to use a calculator, I guess. I don't know. But you know, so finding those people and really putting a team together that meshed well. To me, that skill of being able to put the right people in the right position is so, so important. And that was demonstrated to me. One of my best leaders I ever worked for was a guy by the name of Dave Milas. And he had an innate ability to pick the right people from various backgrounds in various disciplines, bringing them together on a team and give them the tools to do it and then let them fly. And then the last thing is, we're not curing cancer in hotel business. We're providing someone with a bed and letting them eat. Let's have some fun while we do this. Uh, don't take it too seriously if you can't have fun while you're working because we know the hours we put in in this business, they're long and, and your work family sometimes becomes closer than your, you know, your home life. As you know, you'll see many divorces and all that kind of stuff. So have fun, figure out the work life balance and kind of work through that. But you know, having strong people skills in our business is so much more important. I'm not a smart guy, I'm the first to admit it, but I get along with people And I was there to serve and make your stay at my hotel great, or whatever role I was in, I was always there to serve. And so to me, that's important. The education and the smarts is good. But if you don't have people skills in our business, I think you're a step behind.

Speaker B: I think, you know, the new term, I think they didn't have it invented when I was young, but it's the emotional iq.

Speaker C: Mhm.

Speaker B: Fortunately, it switched from the old IQ for me and went to the emotional iq. I think I do all right with that, but it's being able to understand and listen to people, hear what they're saying, look at their look on their face when the business traveler comes in and he's, you know, you want to go through the whole spiel. We have our restaurant this, we have our fitness with that. The pool opens here, the valet does this. I mean, they just want to get the key and go. You got to be able to read that. And that's part of that emotional intelligence. And. But it works. Whether it be a guest or an associate or your boss, being able to understand what they're trying to communicate with you is critical. So I think that it's basically saying the same thing. They just now have a name for it. It's a good thing. Maybe if you're in the same boat as me, that, you know, the IQ thing was not probably as strong as our emotional IQs.

Speaker C: Exactly.

Speaker B: So we talked a little bit about how I looked at it, looked you up, and, you know, you're this gratitude kind of guy, and you're a thank you kind of guy. Tell, tell it, tell the audience about Tuesday's thank you, what it is, how it happened, and you know, uh, what that's brought to your life.

Speaker C: Sure. All right, I'll, I'll try and get through this in a hurry because I tend to go on about this. But if you remember, during the pandemic, we were losing some pretty good people and I, and I just one day I said, you know what? We've got to thank people while they're here. Because a couple people I knew passed away and, and I said, we've got to thank people while they're here. So I made a commitment on my personal LinkedIn page because that's all I had at the time to say I'm going to thank one person a week for the impact that they made on my life. And, you know, I'm an ops guy. I got my spreadsheet out, I put all the places I'D worked, who I wanted to thank, who I didn't want to thank, who, all those type of things. And I scoped out 52 weeks and I started it on a Tuesday. Just by happenstance, there is no method to it, and I just did it every Tuesday. So after the 52nd week, I used that one, obviously for my wife and daughters and family. But after that week, I kind of got inundated the following Tuesday, saying, dude, where's your funny post? Where's your thank you post? And I said, guys, I committed to 52. That was a lot of work trying

Speaker B: to do all that.

Speaker C: So, long story short, I'm down in Naples, Florida, driving back to home to Connecticut, and I get a call to be on, uh, a podcast. Steve Turk has a great podcast called the Hospitality Mentor. And I agreed to be on the show, loved it. And at the end of it I said, steve, tell me about what a podcast is. What do you need? This is kind of cool. So he said, you need a microphone, a laptop and an idea. And I said, well, I've got the laptop and the, the idea. I could buy a microphone. So long story short, I said I knew how good I felt thanking people every Tuesday. It made, it really made you feel good typing it down. And I know how good it made other people feel because they would reach out to me and say, hey, thanks. That really meant a lot. I didn't know, you know, whatever. And so that's how it was kind of born. And I said, you know, I'm an old guy. I've been around for 40 years in this industry. I gotta be able to know some people to interview, to talk to. Right. And lo and behold, as I said, We're 100 and you know, we're four seasons into the podcast. We've interviewed CEOs like yourself, Jeff Bilotti from Wyndham, um, John Murray from Sonesta, Carla, uh, Murray at Marriott. I mean, we've interviewed some big heavy hitters. And it all stemmed from that one thing during the pandemic, that, hey, we gotta thank people while they're around. And so it's grown into this podcast. We're going into season five in January. It's, it's crazy if I never would have figured that this had gone that far.

Speaker B: Uh, one of them I really enjoyed too was Chip Kelly. And it was just that, ah, it was with the American Hotel and Lodging. Yep. And the gentleman from, uh, Chip, uh, Rogers. Chip Rogers, yeah, yeah. And, ah, and there were a couple others. It was just, just really invigorating. And, and you think about the people that are there, and you thought, it's like, you must know people, but it's like, you really have some real heavy hitters on that podcast. And I think what was neatest, they felt the same kind of thanks to other people in their career. And that, that said a lot to me. It was like, wow, that really is special.

Speaker C: Yeah, I've been so fortunate with people agreeing to do the show. I've had some reach out and, you know, I have a face for radio, so I don't use the video clips for the podcast. And I get to see the facial expressions as they're thanking the people. And it's so great to see that, that they feel so good about doing that. It just makes the whole, you know, 45 minutes, 50 minutes of interview worth it. And I've just been blown away by everybody's trust in me to bring out their story, to bring out their journey, because that's basically what we're doing, is we're going through their journey and we're allowing them the opportunity to thank people who have helped them along the way. And it's been just, like I said, unbelievable to me.

Speaker B: I think, you know, this, this podcast really is developed for aspiring leaders. And I think one thing people forget is that, you know, as an aspiring leader, even if you have a boss you appreciate, tell them while they're around, you know, if they retire or they're gone or they die, you're going to wish, boy, I wish I just said 1, 1 thank you to them. I want to tell them how important they were in my career. I think that's the mentor thing meant a lot. And when I, when I spoke on your thing, I was thinking of all the people that were. Stepped into my life over my career that gave me chances, you know, from when I was a teacher to when I was a CEO. And there's still people that are that kind of person to me. And, and I think, you know, I would say to a student or to a young professional or to a leader, to a general manager, it's okay to say thank you to someone who's helped you through your career and do it soon because you never know when it's too late.

Speaker C: Oh, yeah, no, absolutely. And, you know, the lessons learned from this podcast as a young manager, middle manager, someone looking to get into the business, and, um, I know I'm my own podcast here, but the lessons learned, I mean, like you said, we've got heavy hitters in this guest list and who are doing Some amazing things. And to hear their thoughts on leadership, their thoughts on giving back, their thoughts on what made their career successful, it's fascinating and it's, and it's, you know, just been wonderful to see how they, you know, want to share that information.

Speaker B: Okay, so we'll go back and have something silly here. What's a hotel pet peeve for you? I think I recently saw one, but go ahead.

Speaker C: Yeah. Uh, if you follow me on LinkedIn, I'm very vocal when I don't like things in a hotel and I post things. I posted one the other day. You know, it was, wasn't really a pet peeve, it was just stupid. Like the drapes did not reach all the way down to the bottom. So you know there's, forget being blacked out, it was like you had three inches of light. But my biggest pet peeve right now in the hotel business is the placement of these dispensers in the shower. I don't understand how they're being placed right under the shower head so that I've got to stand there with water coming down in my eyes trying to figure out which ones are shampoo, conditioner and body wash when I have about 5ft of real estate of wall space behind me which is where they should be. And so that shower experience for me in a hotel, I could be staying at a, a uh, choice hotel, a Ritz Carlton or whatever. For me the shower experience is everything because that's the one time in my life I do take an extra couple minutes and run the hot water to enjoy the shower. But the placement of those dispensers is just. Oh, uh, it's mind boggling to me.

Speaker B: Well ironically one of my pet peeves was, and I uh, I wasn't the one who chose where they go. I did be. I was involved with choices of things on some of the franchise advisory council to sit on. But one of the things I kept fighting for is make the lettering big enough because someone who now uh, I'm a little more mature than I used to be age wise and you can't see it. And if it's a little light colored blue on a, on a white thing and it's only like 166 font on a. On the wall, it's not working. So we all have our pet peeves so in the same.

Speaker C: And then the last thing on that pet peeve is. And you know, as I ran the new builds team at Starwood for 10 years and we opened, you know, we built 67 hotels from the ground up et cetera gravity is your friend. And what I mean by that is that when you have those dispensers, it doesn't take a rocket science to figure out if you're pounding the thing from the top, it's going to come off the wall, versus if you put the dispenser at the bottom with a button and you just push it and it comes out like we had it. Like the aloft did it right the first time. It's crazy. I get into so many showers and they're sitting on the floor, they've been ripped off the wall. It's like, uh, gravity is your friend.

Speaker B: See, part of this was lethargic. We just want to make sure that you're okay. You got a chance to let it get it off your chest.

Speaker C: Thank you, I appreciate that.

Speaker B: Uh, it's not only thank you Tuesdays is Pet Peeve Tuesday, it's Pet peeve Thursday or whatever. So. So let's see what's next for Mr. Tuesdays. Thank you.

Speaker C: Well, I think what we're doing now is we've, we've developed a YouTube channel called Tuesday Thanks Take Five. For those individuals who may not have the career length that some of my guests, other guests have. And what we do is it's call take five and it's simply that you get five minutes and you thank one person and that's it. Uh, and we're on, we're in and we're off and people can take looking at my face for five minutes. So that's okay. So that's Tuesday Thanks Take five. That's kind of the stepchild of Tuesday Thanks. And then the current thing that we've developed is something called the Power of Gratitude at work, which is a 40 minute presentation that we give at leadership summit meetings where we talk about gratitude, talk about the benefits of gratitude. We share a lot of the learnings we've had from all of these interviews. And we talk about the fact that data based consequences or uh, benefits of gratitude. And then we roll out the 15 day gratitude at work challenge where we provide leaders with daily actionable items that are gratitude based that they can use in their employee recognition, employee appreciation toolbox. It's not the be all and end all. It's kind of just like another tool in that toolbox and we roll that out so that we've developed and we started rolling that out. We've done one company so far that had us at their leadership summit, got great reviews, they seem to love it. So taking that gratitude next step to the corporate world and Developing that program, I think is probably where I'm going to focus a lot of the gratitude attention for the upcoming year. And like I said, Season 5 starts January 7th. And, uh, we've got a great list of guests already.

Speaker B: And for guests want to, uh, our listeners want to know what's it called again?

Speaker C: How do you. Oh, to find me? Yeah, yeah, to find me. The easiest way is on LinkedIn, just under Brian Proctor. I've got, you know, the Leeds Hospitality Group is my consulting company, so that's leedshospitalitygroup.com Tuesday. Thanks.com has a website. They both have the individual LinkedIn pages, but most people find me through. Through LinkedIn.

Speaker B: That's great. Well, I found you. You were stalking me, and then I started stalking you. So we're, we're, uh, we're stalking buddies. But, Brian, I can't tell you how appreciative I am and how much gratitude I have for you. And what not just for being on the podcast. I mean, that's important to me and for our listeners, but for what you're doing for the world. I mean, if everybody focused enough on gratitude like you do, you get a chance to make. Make a difference in this world. And I really appreciate it. I thank you for being with us.

Speaker C: Well, thank you for having me. It's been fun to reconnect. And anytime I can talk to the old muffin man in the parade, I think. I think we're good. And for those people who don't know what that is, you have to listen to Sean's interview on my podcast to find out about the muffin Man.

Speaker B: That's right. Well, thank you so much, Brian. And, um, we'll stay in contact.

Speaker C: Great. Thanks.

Speaker A: Sean, thank you for joining us for another episode of Bed and Butter, the hospitality podcast producer in partnership with Southern Maine Community College. Make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you don't miss any episodes and have a butterfl day.