I Was an Unprepared Inheritor and I'm Not the Only One

Speaker A: I was, um, an unprepared inheritor. Always knew we were comfortable, but did not know to any extremes or lengths. I have never met one Rising Gen Gen member who was entitled, who felt that they deserved to be running the company or the office or the foundation.

Speaker B: If you felt like you haven't had a chance to get information that you need, have a little grace. And then if there's something, figure out a, uh, smart way to ask.

Speaker A: There you go.

Speaker B: And advocate for yourself, because maybe they truly don't know.

Speaker C: Hey there and welcome to your Next gen friend, a success guide to Business Transition, a podcast for figuring out what's next in or beyond your family business. I'm Andrea Carpenter, transition strategist and second gen. Around here, we talk about the real stuff. Family dynamics, identity, leadership, wealth, and how to define success on your own terms. Here's to finding your own way forward. I'm so glad you're here.

Speaker B: Hey everyone, and welcome back to your Next Gen friend. Uh, here today with Celine. And I'm actually just going to let her, uh, do a quick introduction, uh, of herself. Met her kind of through LinkedIn, seeing her also working in the Rising Gen space, which is super. Ah, cool. Uh, also Rising Gen herself. So I'm sure we'll have a great conversation today. Glad you're here and would love for you to introduce yourself to, uh, the listeners.

Speaker A: Yes, hi. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so glad to be here on this, um, Monday. Um, sorry if I sound a little nasally, of course, you know, springtime allergies are getting the best of me, but, um, I am happy to be here and dive into this always exciting topic of being a rising gen and what it means to be part of a, a, um, you know, a family business, family enterprise. So my journey, let's see, it's always like, where do you begin? You know, I'm a G3 family member from the Chicagoland area. Our, um, industry is banking. And my dad's family had a liquidity event in 1994, which seems like ages ago. My sister was only one at the time and I was probably about eight. And my dad had been CEO, um, of the time at the time. And my grandfather was chairman of the holding company and we weren't, they weren't for sale. And it just kind of happened. So everybody kind of just. The interesting thing that, uh, happened is my dad and his four siblings and my grandparents, everybody kind of went their own way. So this whole world of family office that I live in now, like, wasn't Talked about then they, I don't know if they ever really discussed it but they all just kind of like took their stock and like went and like lived their lives and, and you know obviously are you know close and invest in each other's um, different entrepreneurial ventures. But there was no big family office, no cousin consortium or anything like that. And my dad being only 42 at the time, you know, continued to work so he stayed in the banking. Um one bank actually that he purchased during his non compete time is considered our new family operating business so to speak. So I actually joined the board of that um. I've lost track of time is it four years ago now and try to carry on um, that legacy for him. But you know before that time, before 2019, as the old saying goes, people with money don't talk about money. So I was um, an unprepared inheritor. Did not under, did not know any of this world existed. Always knew we were comfortable but did not know to any extremes or lengths. And so it wasn't until I came back from New York and um, stopped working at Claire's corporate um which was fun though you know, Beanie babies galore. But I went back to get my MBA at Loyola uh Chicago and interned in the Family Business Center. And that's when I started hearing all these terms. Governance, succession planning, transition enterprise, you know, you name it, all these different things. Leading gen, next gen, rising gen. And I started asking my dad questions and he kind of was pinned up against a wall. He like actually had to finally answer anything I asked. And I was probably 31, 32 at the time. And so that's when this whole kind of evolving new uh chapter started I guess. So we m. Started a family office after that. He was approaching 70. He was really trying to get out of um his day to day at a bank. He started but then of course Covid happened so that wasn't going to happen um, which is totally fine. He needs a project so it's really good that he stays engaged um at the bank. But you know started this family office and it was during that time that um, you know I was just a sponge like trying to join communities, trying to you know it was Covid. So I was listening to any webinar and any reading any article I could find on all the trusted resources and that's when I met um, a mentor, Kristen Heaney who I did a cohort group with her and um, really felt like started to love this work um and understand the importance of giving back to rising not even giving back to rising gens, helping other rising gens, like, not make the same mistakes that I feel like we made, um, so to speak, now that I'm, you know, be 40 in less than six months. So if I can help other rising gens along the way, I find that to be, um, my. My works. My works, my mission in life.

Speaker B: Yeah, I love that. And so it sounds like it's been about 10 years of actively knowing and being in the world. Ish. Uh, of all of this. Do you feel gratitude that you sort of didn't have that exposure until you were. Some days I'm like, yeah, I'm glad I didn't know or I didn't grow up with it. I didn't get. I don't have to wear that like you're entitled or you grew up rich card. But on the flip side, right, you're now dealing with the consequences of the super steep learning curve at a very foundational point in your life where I assume you were starting your own family and doing all these other things. So let's talk about that a little bit.

Speaker A: It's such a weird thing because, like, the decade of my 20s, we'll call them, like, the real learning, you know, decade that, uh, let's make mistakes, let's fail, let's pick ourselves up, that kind of thing, you know, I was so blessed that my dad, you know, wanted us to. My sister and I, she's seven years younger, like, go and live, you know, like, I lived in New York. I went to Milan to get a master's in fashion management. I went back to New York, I came to Chicago. So, like, I, like, traveled. I was educated, I lived, I worked in, you know, corporate jobs in the fashion luxury space. Um, so that was like, a huge blessing. Like, I got to do that. Um, but then there was, like, there was always, like, a piece, like, missing, kind of. I don't know, like, I can't. It's hard to really explain it, but I always knew there was more. Maybe it was like, during tax season when I had to sign tax returns and, like, you know, I'd always kind of ask questions. But wasn't like, that engaged. And my dad's like, oh, don't worry, you don't really need to know that. Which I'm not blaming him for that. I mean, sometimes I do a little bit. But, um, you know, it was always, like, always, like, in a rush, you know, Like I was racing back for a flight for New York or something. So it's not like we could like sit and have a six hour discussion about X, Y or Z. So like it's not like we had like family meetings at that point where it's like I was like learning. So like I'm grateful for that time and not to have been burdened with whatnot. Um, especially because if I think back to it, you know, he was very invested in this, this one bank that he purchased during his non compete and that is considered kind of our family. And you know, I always wonder, had I really known more, would I have been maybe not expected, but would I have felt the responsibility to stay home, not go to New York, not go to Milan and really as the elder of two daughters, really like be alongside of him? I don't know. But knowing my personality, I probably would have felt like I would have come back earlier then and maybe not had all those amazing lived experiences. So I do wish though that there had been like more of an um, more of an entrance to this whole thing like earlier than my like you know, 31, 32. And um, I don't know if my dad was worried, you know, a lot, like a lot of leading gens or now gens, whatever generation they are, are worried that they're gonna just um, their kids are going to become entitled by sharing that they have a trust or that there is this dynasty trust or generation skipping trust, whatever you might want to call it. Everybody has a totally different structure or they have shares in the, in the company, you know, when they hit a certain age or whatever it is. But you know, I've met so many rising gens over the years now and Maybe in my 20s I met a few who seemed a little entitled, a little pretentious, but that I didn't even understand this world then. So like I don't even really count that. Um, but now in my 30s, I have never met one rising gen gen member who was entitled, who felt that they deserved to be running the company or the office or the foundation. None of that. I've only met people that want to be seen and heard by their parents or grandparents in a way that they deserve to like carry on the legacy, that they deserve to observe a board meeting, that they um, deserve the chance to be educated so that one day they can carry this on. But I've never met anybody that's like um, okay, I'm getting my trust soon, like give it to me, blah blah blah, like I'm gonna go like buy some yacht. I've never met anybody like that. But I can understand why leading gen members worry about that because all their friends are saying the same thing. But mhm. Until they like start having the conversation, you're not going to know if your kid's going to be, you know, um, just trying to take you for all they can.

Speaker B: Yeah. And I, I want to keep talking about entitlement because I would say the same. But I also wonder in our world of kind of opt in additional support so in three generations the rising gen is opting in saying hey, I want a little extra support in our world, it's the business transition specifically, hey, I need a little bit more support on, on what this might look like, that, that, that shows some type of initiative. But yeah, really as a general rule every time I'm somewhere and, and I hear this like leading gen, current gen type of person say that they're, they're, they're terrified that their kids are going to be entitled especially when their kids are younger. A lot of times I have to push back on that because the things I see, the things I hear are shame, fear, desire for growth. I think you m mentioned that one. Um, yeah. I deserve a chance to be educated or I deserve a chance to know how this is going to impact my life and my family and what is going to be expected of me so I can prepare better.

Speaker A: 100 um, you know, I think if a kid, a kid, an adult, whatever you want to call them are about to get a trust at a specific age or may. We don't even know what the, the you know, the structure is. Maybe they get a distribution, maybe they don't, it doesn't really matter. But you know, tax implications could totally change. Now all of a sudden you have to have like a top tier accountant. You need like, you know, um, an estate planning attorney. You need all these things that maybe you weren't privy to before because maybe you don't have a family office or maybe you weren't brought. Maybe that's not a service. Everyone is offered in the office. Everybody's a different structure. But now you need to like find all these things. But like all of a sudden you, you turn 30 and like it's like happy birthday. Here's all this stuff like go figure it out. That's very overwhelming when you're already like living your life, so to speak. So I think there's ways that you know, leading gen members can, you know, bring their kids to the table so to speak. And you know, you don't necessarily have to do it at two years old. Um, but there's like little ways you can sprinkle this kind of stuff along the way and like, really, um, instill your values. Like that's a great way to start. And then like over time sprinkle little bits of information of, you know, of that you have wealth, you know, and maybe, maybe they're not passing anything on to the kids, but that's also a huge thing too. And if kids don't know they're not getting anything and think they do, that's going to cause a huge rift as well. Because if you're flying private all over the world and your kid is on that plane, they're, I mean, why wouldn't they assume that they're gonna, you know, uh, reap some sort of benefits in the future? So if you don't have a conversation, you just push it under the rug. It doesn't do anybody any good, you know, and, and I think the kids that don't get spoken to are the entitled kids because they just think, oh well, no one's talking to me about it, so I must just, this is what I'm going to inherit. And like, they just like live their lives. Maybe they don't mean to be entitled, but it could come off as entitled.

Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's a really interesting point. The assumptions that people start to make and you have to give next gen some slack because they're younger, they have less experience, less exposure. And so when you think about, well, this has always happened this way, but my family didn't set up a value system about we work hard or we do this or. My parents never talked about money in the sense of like, well, that's mom and dad's money, right? That's not your money. Um, what, how, what's our philosophy as a family about how we talk about these things? Again, that's not a direct one to one conversation. I think you also talked about like, let's have more direct one to one conversations about what people are thinking and assuming. And I totally see that in our work because things can be said in passing like, hey, someday this business, it'll all be yours. And you're like, cool, it'll all be mine in five years. Because you're already 75, so definitely it'll be by the time you're 80. Right. You're going to want to go do something else. And that doesn't necessarily mean that that is what you, the, the leading gen was thinking in, in terms of timing or, or what they were thinking about. And so suddenly people are coming to, coming to the table with very different expectations and assumptions of what is going to happen? And that's where the communication starts to break down.

Speaker A: Totally. And what does that even mean when it's all yours? Like. Yeah, I mean, what does that mean? You know, does that come with all the perks that the, that the leading gen got? Maybe not. You know what I mean? So, communication. Communication, communication. But, um, you know, unfortunately, a lot of leading gens push it to the side because, you know, there's a new tax bill or there's a new estate planning, such and such they need to put into their own, um, estate. So always this rising gen education kind of gets pushed to the side, unfortunately. And the time is now. The time is now to educate them and equip them and empower them to, like, be responsible stewards.

Speaker B: Yeah. And I know a lot of people listening are rising gen. So if you felt like you haven't had a chance to get information that you need, I, I think it sounded a little bit in your story that you had some of that when you started to get more exposed to the world and you kind of made an ask. You went to your dad, you asked for more information. Can you talk a little bit about what that looked like, how it felt? I know it's hard, like, thinking back in retrospect, but I'm sure there was this moment of like, wow, this is like, maybe kind of a big ask. How is it going to be? How is it. How is it going to be taken?

Speaker A: Right, right. So, like, when I was finished or I was doing my, um, studies at Loyola, I also did, like, an independent study. I, like, took like, an extra semester for, um, for the MBA program so I could do an independent study in the family business center, like, just to really, like, understand more of this. So, like, I started asking him a lot of questions, but I still, like, just because he answered my story, uh, like, told me the story of, like, everything. Like, I still didn't. Wasn't educated. But, you know, the terminology stuck with me. I started, like, meeting other people, then we started the office, and then I did this cohort program where there was no financial literacy whatsoever. But it helped me, like, empower me to be like, okay, like, this is a big responsibility. I'm a G3 family member. Um, my dad then also became a G1 in his own right. So, you know, there's a lot at stake here. And, you know, you start remember thinking back or not thinking back. I'm in the office with him. You know, he's telling me about this and that and, like, you know, whether it's Trusts or whether it's um, you know, businesses and all these different things and all these structures and it sounds like so confusing. And I said okay, whoa. Like I don't even understand anything that you're talking about. So you know, I've done like a couple of programs um, to better educate myself. One was a rising gen cohort program with in three generations. And then um, that was before I started working with her. And then um, a couple years ago my sister and I actually did um, with Tamarind Learning. Kristen also does um, a scholars program. So it's their self directed ah, course. But Kristen puts a cohort around it. The, the program is so amazing, but it's so dense that I never would have gotten through it by myself. Um, um, even though Kirby and Tori put together amazing program but it's just too much content. And it really helped me understand like more about like why we pay taxes. I mean it's things that like we actually don't learn that in school, why we pay taxes or like the whole like structure around it. Um, talking about uh, being a beneficiary and talking about like trustees and like all that kind of different things because again like I have these different trust structures, um, and I don't really know anything about them. So you know we went through that. We would like every time we would have a m. A session, my Shannon, my sister and I would have like a whole slew of questions for my dad. And like really, you know, I think he was actually glad. I think it almost took the pressure off of him because he didn't know where to start. He wasn't going to just sit down to be like, you have this trust and like this is your beneficiary or this is your trustee and blah, blah, blah. You know, it was almost like easier for him that we came to him with all these questions. Um, and then like that started discussions and you know, we'd have them in passing, we'd have them at the dinner table, we'd have them on vacation, you know, whatever. And like we're still having them. And you know, once you start hearing these, you know, for rising gens out there, once you start hearing these terms, you know, like three times, like they start to click. Um, and you don't have to google them every time you hear them. Like you start to understand um, what they mean and like how they might impact you. And some of it may not impact you, but like you at least you have a basic understanding of it and then you can just put it in a. You Know, um, a box in the back of your brain and not worry about it.

Speaker B: Yeah, I, that, that's super interesting. And I love that you mentioned Tamarind. I'll certainly link that as well. That and three generations. Good resources for rising gens. Um, and I love that you sort of framed asking the questions around education and learning that you were doing for yourself because I, I do feel like that that shows a lot of initiative and like I, I'm doing the best I can. And now I, I need you to help fill some holes for me here.

Speaker A: Yeah. Because unfortunately, I don't know if other rising gens feel this way, but like we were very, um. You know, it was always one of those things where it's like, okay, you have a trust, but you will never use it. Um, you won't need it, blah, blah, that's fine. I wasn't trying to get access to it. But you know, then I got married and now I have two little kids. And so, you know, we bought a house. I took a distribution, um, to, to, you know, for the house to, to you know, combine with my husband's, um, um, what he put in. But like we had never, my dad had never really thought about that. And again, that's not his fault. Like you don't think about it sometimes until you're in it. However, we have always been so reactive and not proactive in thinking through these things. Now it's.

Speaker B: No.

Speaker A: I mean, he's always known, he's had two daughters. So I mean, so I, I urge other rising gen members out there, if they haven't gotten married or they haven't um, bought a house or they haven't maybe started their own business, but they want to do all those things like, like go to your parents and like say, is there a clause in, in my trust that like I can use money for X, Y and Z and if not, could we talk about that or, or to maybe do like a Tamarind program. You know, maybe you want to better educate yourself. Um, and maybe you'll never work in the business, maybe you'll never work in the office. And that's like, okay, but maybe you just want to educate yourself. So like when you're sitting in a family meeting once a year, you like understand what all these people are talking about. So you don't feel like you're just dreaming about the next island vacation you hope to take in 10 years. So I do think it's like nice just to come equipped, you know, with some of these, um, with the terminology. So you don't feel like the silliest person in the room because. And it's not silly because, you know, I hate to say this too. A lot of the spouses, um, usually they're female, um, of the, the leading gen or the entrepreneur, don't know a lot of this either. But everyone's like too afraid to say it. Unfortunately. Unfortunately. And unfortunately all the advisors, even though they're great, you know, and we love having them in the room, but they catered to the leading gen member who is usually a male. And so they're not meeting everybody else where they need to. So if they'll, you know, and maybe in that family meeting, it's not the time, but they need to meet with everybody then outside of that meeting to help them absorb and digest in their own way.

Speaker B: Mhm. Yeah, that, that's a theme. I've seen the, the rising gen getting their own advisors and trying to get their own information. But maybe even more important in what you said was asking questions around intent. Mhm. And design behind things. We talk a lot and I think our process for business transition specifically is successful because the rising generation is going to have to run the operating business eventually. So let's design what the transition and the timeline and what everyone needs to learn and how it's going to work together. Like, I think that inherently works well. But if you're in more of a wealth inheriting situation, which is a lot of the example that you gave, um, even in, in my own family, we're a little bit smaller scale, but it was to the point where I felt comfortable enough to go to my dad or he was forthright enough to share, which not many leading gens do. So I really appreciate this about my dad. But to say, hey, the things I would love for you, that my mom, that, that your mom and I would love to support are furthering your education, I'm like, okay, well what does that look like? Interested in joining a mastermind group? Um, I want to do this type of thing. Ah. Sometimes I come across things, I'm like, oh, I wonder if this would be education. And suddenly my world feels so much bigger. Right. Because I'm not suddenly thinking about can I afford this. It's more a question of how would this help me and what's the case I would make to be able to potentially access that. So education was a big one. Housing expenses, living expenses, um, support for their grandchildren, on, on going to school and, and getting education. Like those are the things. And, and we grew up with really strong family values. So it's not surprising, right, that that is the stuff that we would say. But I, I've said on this podcast before, and sometimes people ask me, like, sure, that trust is gonna split and it's gonna have my name on it, and it's the children's trust. But I also have never really viewed that as my money. Um, and I think that goes back to the entitlement piece. But I'm like, yeah, that's. That's my dad's money. And I'm getting more comfortable with figuring out how and when it might be an appropriate time to use it. But even as someone who kind of grew up in this space and I consider myself maybe a little more equipped than some of the next gens I meet, this is still really hard. Like, I just want everyone listening to know I still struggle with this on a daily basis. How exactly I feel about it and all of that.

Speaker A: Well, it's funny you say, like, you, not yours. You know, my sister was just home this past weekend and we still feel like it's not ours. Like, we always joke it comes out of one pot. You know, it's like, even though, yes, my dad has put money in our own name and whatnot, and we both work like, you know, you know, it's not like we're just playing video games. And I use. That's a bad example. People play video games. There's nothing wrong with that. But like, I'm not just sitting on the couch or, you know, I'd love to watch Netflix, but that's not what I'm doing. Um, but I always still feel like it's my, you know, my dad's money. However, because of, because of that and because what I've. This is what leading gen members don't understand. Because of what I've learned over the years and really, like, gotten into the weeds of it all, whether reading different documents or like understanding the stories better or whatever it might be. I feel like I work harder now than I did when I worked in, like, we'll call it corporate America. The, the different jobs I had in, in my, in my 20s, um, because I understand what's at stake and because even though I'm not taking distributions right now, like on a monthly, you know, it's just more of like one offs. I know that I could if I needed to. So I feel like I have to work super hard, um, so literally, like killing myself with like, you know, two kids, like, put one down and, and try to, um, to do different, you know, different things or, you know, Emailing late at night or putting together presentations or whatnot. Because. Also. Because I love it. And that's just like my. My personality. But I do feel like there is such an integration and mesh as you're an adult. Um, you know, my sister and I feel that all the time, even though, like, she's 33 and I'll be 40 soon. Um, like, I feel like we're still dependent on my parents for so much. And maybe that's because we're girls. I don't know. Like, we don't have a brother, but maybe if we did, it'd be different. But we're still very intertwined, um, when it comes to money, you know, we just. We always. I think we always will be. And I don't know how to change that.

Speaker B: Yeah. Which is not necessarily bad. But let's talk about getting married and bringing someone into this, because that is a whole. A whole nother dynamic. And. And I know when. When we sort of talked earlier, you're sitting on the board now, it sounds like, of the operating business, but you have, um. I think it's. Your husband is now kind of in more of an operating role. So not just, like, into the family to be, like, inheriting the wealth, but also into the family, into an active role. Can you. Can you just share a little bit of that story with us?

Speaker A: Yeah. And, like, I meet rising gens all the time who really struggle with, you know, struggle with this, whether it's a male or a female. Um, and let me just say, there's no right or wrong answer. You know, every family structure is different. All the dynamics are different and whatnot. And I dated a lot of. We'll call them interesting characters along the way. And I don't. I mean, clearly we never got to this stage. I've never been married before. Um, and we never. If it hadn't been anyone else I dated, we never would be sitting in the same position. Um, because Sean is just. Is just totally different and very well equipped in the financial space and just, you know, very smart and. And whatnot. Um, and very humble. So, like, that was easy. So, I mean, before we got. I think right when we got engaged, um, or when he asked my dad or whatever, you know, my dad basically told him everything. So my sister and I joke that Sean knows more than we do or understands it, at least more than we do. Flowcharts. I think there was a binder at, like, the proposal dinner. So. Poor Sean. Um, but, like, thank God, because, like, my sister and I just aren't our that's not our area of expertise, by any means. But, you know, it wasn't, um. It was this past. Oh, my gosh. What was it like, November, I guess, last November. Where, you know, my dad is. You know, he's 75. He's. He's tired. You know, he's. He's still dealing with two different banks, you know, with investments. Um, I run the foundation. But still, you know, he's got a hand in everything. And, you know, he just wants to, like, enjoy his life. So, um, you know, he was trying to figure out if he needed to bring someone else in. And. And then Sean kind of was like, well, basically, what you're looking for, I can do. We. I guess we always hoped, but we never really thought it would be this soon, you know, because, Sean, I have only been married just shy of four years, so we thought it would probably be like 10 years down the road, you know, kind of thing. And my dad was, like, ecstatic, like, so happy. Um, Porsche. But, um, I mean, it's going well. He's, you know, he's basically, um, wearing several hats, you know, as all family office members do. Um, and then also, like, actually an employee of the bank and really just kind of like, um, helping management think on a strategic level and helping with investments and whatnot. And then the hope would be to, you know, in a few years, really, um, take over my dad's position so he doesn't have to be in the weeds anymore with that. Because, you know, that's, um. Can be a drain. And, you know, it takes away from bridge lessons and, um, time on the golf course. And at 75, he deserves to be doing that. So, um, it definitely is hard to integrate a spouse, But I think, you know, a lot of people do it differently. I think we were just always very open because we saw that Sean was very, um. He wanted to be very helpful. He's very astute. He, you know, he. He was educated. He had a great job, you know, and a great job doesn't mean finance. It can be a construction worker. It can be a police officer. It can be a doctor. It can be anything. But I think, like, obviously having some sort of employment is. Is definitely helpful or some sort of passion, you know, something so that they. Because it can be very difficult to come to this world without something of your own. And you don't have to be making six, seven figures or whatever, but you, you know, you want to feel like you're bringing something to the table. And maybe that just means being a great parent to the future, future generation. That's huge too. Very huge. And that's the most, you know, underpaid job we know as moms. So, um, it's definitely hard, hard to do it, but you just got one step at a time.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker B: It's fun it. And refreshing to see because you don't always hear of the current generation being so open and sharing with in laws and spouses. So I know for some people that is not the case. Um, at least in my story too. My dad was also very like, as soon as we got married, they got to see what's in the whole portfolio and how it works. And they get added on distributions and they basically get treated as another kid, um, inside of the family ecosystem. And for me and my family and for my relationship with my spouse, that has been for Andrew and I to be able to talk about these things and me not wondering, like, is it something I can share? Is it. Is it something I'm not supposed to share? What is the line there? Um, if there was a current gen listening, I think it's important for you to know and understand and talk with your kids about how they might feel about this. There are some people that I meet in our work. They don't really want their spouses involved in, in this world and on that piece too. And so there can be different tracks that really just have to align with what's in. Important to, to each person sitting at the table and, and what they want to share and how everything's kind of set up in the background.

Speaker A: Yeah. Or, you know, it's very bloodline focused or there's so many different scenarios. But I think it's important, you know, for the rising gens out there listening if you're, if you're not married yet or you're not dating or you're currently single or whatnot. You know, and you don't know if you need a prenuptial agreement or you don't know what the. What might come. It's like start having those conversations now with your parents and understanding if it's like, required for everyone in the family. And maybe it's not. Maybe you choose to have one, maybe you don't. But like, just really knowing now so you don't have to deal with that like, as you're walking down the aisle because it's gonna be ugly. Um, even if you're just trying to protect family assets, it's just, it's better to communicate that now and, and communicate it early.

Speaker B: Yeah. And another great door opener to start a Conversation. We were talking earlier, like, what are those points or those triggers or those things? Right. That would be good. Like, hey, I'm thinking about this. And again, you can position that as there's this thing happening in my life that feels important. I'm starting to date this person, or I'm thinking about dating, or I'm getting more serious and would, would love to consider finding a life partner. And these are just questions that have come up for me. Like, is there any additional context you can give me? Because I would hate to, to get two years in with someone who's so anti prenup and you tell me it's required in our family to have a prenup. And now I'm in this position where I'm trying to figure out what to do and, and what that looks like. Um, or it could be the other way.

Speaker A: Right?

Speaker B: So, yep, totally. I think, uh, another good door opening opportunity. So before we wrap up, I would love for you to just, uh, I know we briefly touched that you work at in three generations and you're doing some stuff with the rising gen cohorts. Can you just give a high level overview of what your program is for people who are listening?

Speaker A: Um, well, I am Kristen's longest standing alum, so I did her first program back in 2019 and I was a skeptic. So all those rising gens out there who are like, ready to turn this podcast off, thinking, oh my gosh, the last thing I want to do is join a group of other, you know, rising gens. Let me tell you, I went kicking and screaming and I clearly am drinking the Kool Aid. So I, I loved it. It changed my life. Now I believe timing is everything. It came at a time when my dad and I were just starting the office. I did not know what that meant. I didn't know what my role was. I had just shifted from like, like being in New York and like living this like, you know, vibrant life of luxury goods and, you know, working in jewelry and whatnot. Um, but it really started like, you know, shifting my mindset of understanding what this all meant, um, and how I fit into it. And it helped me, um, have more responsibility. To be, to be frank, I was not, um, a responsible steward of wealth because no one had ever told me to be. So it really totally shifted the mindset. I'm not saying I am every day, but it, I definitely, I'm definitely doing better. Um, so we, we work with rising gens of all ages. You know, call it 20 onward. I mean, we have people in their 60s in our programs. So the cohort is, you know, like the bread and Butter program, um, where we work with rising gens on purpose, clarity, um, understanding how you fit into this and like relationships and you know, your relationship with money and um. What does that mean? What does that look like? And then I mentioned the Scholars program which is in partnership with Tamarind Learning, which is phenomenal. And then we have. Those are both two semester programs. Then we have a couple ones semester programs like entrepreneurship, um, people who might be starting a business who have already started a business. And then rising gen core 20s, which is just people in their 20s. It's only one semester. But then what we really have, which I pride myself on and I try to keep going on a daily basis, is the Collective, which is a free group, um, that is comprised of all of our alumni, family engagement clients and any people we've met along the way that we've met like on LinkedIn or you know, I don't know, at a conference. And you never have to join a group. We just would love to have like a paid group. We would just love to have you in our free group. And we meet quarterly and we share resources and we just connect people. So it's really fun. Um, I just think it can be a really isolating space and we just like to bring people together to not feel so alone in this journey.

Speaker B: Yeah, I love that it's ah, a really important mission. So we'll put all of those links, uh, in the show notes for anyone who might be listening and um, yeah, I think specialized support to support you wherever you're at in your journey at this point is so important. Um, what I love about your, your programs is it's kind of that like initial work, a lot of that self work that you need to do. Um, especially since I know there's a lot of people listening here too that are thinking about stepping into operating businesses and, and then it gets more technical. Right. Because you're talking about transferring roles and a lot of those other pieces. That's obviously where, where the program that I help run, the Evolve program will sit in. So just to find something that is supportive to you, um, at each stage of your journey, I think is so important. So. Agreed.

Speaker C: Agreed.

Speaker B: Awesome. Um, well, I know that um, there were like a ton of other topics that we could have talked on. So, um, if you're listening to this and there's something you'd love to hear Selena and I continue to talk about, certainly, um, would love to have you back in the Future. As, like, a closing thought, um, perhaps. Let's go with this question. If there was a next gen sitting across from you right now, um, what's one thing you'd tell them to try this week? That's a great question.

Speaker A: Um, something that it took me a long time to say an answer like this. Um, having grace for the leading slash now gen in your life. A lot of times they don't know any better. And I'm using air quotes if you can't see that. Um, because they're doing this blindly with no true guidance. They have advisors, but those advisors don't know your family and your family dynamics, like in the ins and the outs. So just having a little grace for the leading gen. It took me a long time to say that because I always felt like my dad should have been doing more with us younger, and maybe he should have been, but, like, he's doing the best he can too. So, um, have a little grace.

Speaker B: I love that. And then I would tag on, have a little grace. And then if there's something you need, figure out a smart way to ask.

Speaker C: There you go.

Speaker B: And advocate for yourself. Um, because maybe they truly don't know. Um, and that's something that you can design or work on together. So. Awesome. Well, I'm so glad you came on, Celine. Thanks for being here. Awesome. We'll see you next time on the show, everyone.

Speaker A: Thank you so much.

Speaker B: That's it for today.

Speaker C: I hope today's episode offered some clarity or at least a little company. If this resonated, I'd be so grateful if you'd share it with another next gen. Well, my podcast is for the successors. You can also check out its sister show, the Business Transition Roadmap, hosted by my business partner, Elizabeth LeDoux. There's lots of great material, material in business and family succession over there. I hope you'll take a listen. Be well and see you next time.