
this is work · 2026-06-28 · 31 min
Key moments - from our scoring
Substance score
28 / 100
Five dimensions, 20 points each
Shelley Johnson unpacks a powerful career framework learned from a CEO who deliberately reinvented himself every three years during his tenure, arguing that what got you to your current level won't get you to the next. The episode walks through practical coaching questions to identify your biggest opportunity, areas of momentum, skill gaps, and the identity you need to adopt for growth. Johnson then pivots to the second law of thermodynamics - entropy increases in closed systems without energy input - and applies it brilliantly to explain why teams naturally drift toward toxicity and dysfunction. Without deliberate energy, effort, and discipline, disorder wins. The framework moves from reinvention as concept to reinvention as action: identifying what to change, then determining the specific energy and effort required to make it real. For leaders and individual contributors alike, the episode challenges the notion that good culture or careers happen by chance; they require intentional, sustained effort.
Every three years, according to the CEO framework Shelley Johnson discusses. This rhythm allows you to assess what worked in the last phase, identify new skills needed, and intentionally prepare for the next level of growth.
The second law states that entropy (disorder) increases over time in closed systems unless energy is added. Applied to teams and careers, it means dysfunction and toxicity naturally increase without deliberate effort, discipline, and focused energy to maintain order and health.
Ask which of your three priority skills will add the most value and enable the others. For example, if moving from manager to executive, developing the ability to lead leaders comes first because a strong team is the foundation for success with public speaking or strategic planning.
Identifying reinvention creates the blueprint, but the real work is translating that into specific actions and the energy required to execute them - whether that's reading books, finding mentors, or deliberate practice.
Without active energy, effort, and discipline invested into culture and team health, entropy takes over. Teams don't naturally stay healthy or high-performing; they slide toward toxicity unless leaders continuously pour in effort.
Our reviewer’s read on each dimension, with quotes from the episode.
The episode surfaces a couple of genuinely useful framings - 'repair' as a neglected leadership skill and the entropy metaphor for team health - but the bulk of the runtime is coaching-question scaffolding, self-deprecating asides, and generic growth-mindset repackaging. For a B2B operator, the actionable insight per minute is low.
repair is the most underrated leadership skill
teams don't drift towards health, they drift towards toxicity
The second-law-of-thermodynamics application to team dynamics is the freshest idea in the episode, but it's explicitly borrowed from an unnamed engineer and treated very shallowly; everything else - reinvent every three years, hyper-focus on one skill, pick up the phone - is standard HR and leadership fare with no contrarian edge.
in a closed system, entropy or disorder increases over time
What got you to this level is not the same you that gets you to the next level
This is a solo episode; the host is an HR consultant running a small advisory practice, which is a practitioner credential but not a scaled operator. The only referenced authorities are an unnamed CEO ('Tim') and an unnamed mechanical engineer, neither of whom appears or is identified.
I run a HR consulting business called Boldside where I help leaders build epic team cultures
A CEO that I had the privilege of working for was the first person I'd ever heard talk about this
Evidence is thin throughout: the CEO is unnamed, the engineer is unnamed, and the sole named company example (Optus) is used only to illustrate apology wording rather than to ground any claim with data. No metrics, revenue figures, team sizes, or outcomes are cited.
I remember when Optus had that big, uh, ah, privacy breach and they sent out an email saying, Our sincere apologies
he would stay as a CEO for 10 years
The solo format eliminates any possibility of follow-up or pushback, and the coaching questions posed to listeners are generic rather than sharp; the host frequently loses her thread mid-example and recovers with self-aware humor, which is endearing but signals insufficient preparation for a tight, high-density episode.
Classic, classic. Uh, was working on your memory. That was the third skill.
I'm like, I'm so sorry, I'm just going to write notes as you speak
Computed from the transcript - who did the talking, and the words that came up most.
In this episode Shell unpacks 3 big ideas that have been on her mind lately. She talks about: who do you need to become in the ever-changing world of work? what physics has to do with your career how to deal with conflict effectively & the art of repair
Transcribed and scored by The B2B Podcast Index.
Speaker A: Today I want to share with you my raw thoughts, things that have been on my mind for the last few months and as I go I just take notes in my notes app of just ideas that I think I really want to talk with you about these. We're going to cover why you need to reinvent, how you reinvent yourself. We're going to talk about the second law of thermodynamics and don't worry, we're going to get into what the heck that is and then we're going to talk about conflict. How do you deal with conflict on teams? Why repair is a really important skill that you need to build for your career and why no one talks about it. Let's go. This is a podcast about making work work. You'll learn about leadership, career growth, and how to navigate those weird work challenges. I run a HR consulting business called Boldside where I help leaders build epic team cultures. If you lead a team or run a business and you think I can help, let's connect on LinkedIn. My name is Shelley Johnson and this is Work.
Speaker B: He's dribbling the ball with everything on the line. He's driving down the pitch. He's facing price hikes and cuts past him. Carrier contracts tries to block him. Oh, he leaves him in the dust. He's at the edge of the box. He cuts past the nonstop group chat, trash talk. He clears on goal. He shoots no unlimited data for $25 a month. Forever.
Speaker C: Visit your local Boost Mobile stor today to get unlimited data with a price that never changes. Boost mobile after 30gb customers may experience lower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost $25 Unlimited plan.
Speaker D: This episode is sponsored by HeyGen. HeyGen turns a script, photo or presentation into a polished video of you in minutes. No camera or crew required. It's how real estate agents, financial advisors, attorneys and creators show up consistently on every feed and build a brand that brings in clients without spending their whole week making content. Rated the number one AI video platform for small businesses on G2, with the most realistic AI avatars in the industry, trusted by a community of over 30 million people and 85% of the Fortune 100 and built to work in over 175 languages so you can reach your audience in theirs. Here's the wild Record yourself for just 15 seconds and Heygen builds an AI avatar that makes professional videos for you on demand so you can post everywhere your audience is as yourself without filming every time. Your first three videos are free at heygen.com pod that's H-E-Y-G-E-UM N.com P-O D.
Speaker A: I want to talk about the principle of reinvention. A CEO that I had the privilege of working for was the first person I'd ever heard talk about this. And it has stuck with me for, I don't know, it's probably like 10 years ago now. It's stuck with me for so long. And, and he had this idea that he would stay and he was the CEO of a couple of different companies and he'd usually do a 10 year tenure. That's a mouthful to say 10 year tenure. He would stay as a CEO for 10 years and then he would, he would finish up. And he said that every three years or thereabouts as a CEO, he needed to go through a full reinvention because what was needed in the first three years of his tenure was different to the next three years. And so he had this really intentional approach to growth and he would call it a reinvention. He said to a group of, uh, managers one day, I remember we were running like this management kind of team session. And he said that as a leader, you have to reinvent yourself. And he was just so, like, quite, I don't know, quite intentional about it that every three years he would really go through this process of looking at, okay, what worked for me over the last three years won't work for me over the next three years. So I need to find a way to reinvent, to take my growth as a leader to the next level. And the way he described it was that to lead an organization in the long term, the growth of that organization requires different things of you. And so as the organization grows, you have to grow with it. And I remember thinking like, gee, that's so, like smart and strategic and intentional. And so every three years he would do this process of reinvention and thinking about, okay, well what got me here won't get me to the next stage of growth. I've got to grow first as a leader if I want this organization and team to grow. So it starts with me. If I want the business to grow, I've got to grow first. So I want you to think about this idea of reinvention. And I was chatting with a couple of amazing managers from an amazing brand and they, we had this conversation about what does it mean to reinvent. And I was thinking in this workshop, oh my gosh, I have to tell you about this because you listening, you amazing human who I Absolutely. Just am. So, I mean, I love. I love everyone who listens as part of this community. And I just want you to also think about it, because I've been, like, going, oh, my gosh. Okay, well, for me personally, I'll just, like, do a bit of self reflection, live with you, if that's okay. I've been, um, running Bold side, um, for four years this year. And I was like, oh, ah, crap. I'm one year overdue for a reinvention. According to Tim, the CEO of that business, his methodology of what he did every three years go through reinvention. And it just got me thinking. I was like, oh, okay, I've got to do some reinvention work as a human and as a leader and as a general person who wants to grow all the time. And I've been like, flat out. It's been really chaotic four years and I've felt like, oh, my gosh, I've missed that moment, that, uh, milestone. So I'm going to do that process and I want to sit down and actually go through this reinvention process. And then it got me thinking about you and how, how do we do this together? And so if you've been in a role or you've been in an industry or you think, you know what, it has been a while since I've thought about reinventing myself. Let's do this together. So every three years, what would it look like to reinvent yourself in your career as a leader, as a person, as a general human who wants to get better and grow? So a couple of things that I want to say. What got you to this level is not the same you that gets you to the next level. I just want to, like, I feel like it's. It bears repeating. And maybe I'm saying this to myself. The you who got you here is not the same you that will get you to that next level. And so what do you want to shift and change? And it's going to require a different level of energy, maybe a different, um, level of discipline or skills that you want to develop. But what. What is it? And how do we get really clear on what it is? So I've got a couple of coaching questions. We've done this on previous, um, I was going to say previous sessions, previous therapy sessions with your truly.
Speaker B: Um,
Speaker A: I have got some coaching. Gosh, I got the giggles. I've got some coaching questions for you. So the first one, what is the biggest opportunity for me right now? So if you're going to think about reinventing let's just go there. What is the biggest opportunity for me right now? And I want you to pause. And again, you know I love practical work, the deep work, self reflection. And so get your phone out, put this in your notes app. What is the biggest opportunity for me right now? So looking at, um, a little follow up question to this that I find super helpful. Where's the biggest momentum in my work or my role? So I want you to look for areas of momentum, areas that are like, yeah, that thing over there that's going really good. And I should follow that because sometimes when we're busy, we get distracted by these areas that are either problems, roadblocks, things just like the busy low value work and we miss the areas of momentum. So I want you to think about, okay, what's the biggest opportunity for me right now? And the secondary question is, where is the momentum in my work and role? Where is it? Where's that natural momentum that you know when you're in that I don't know, like if this is. And again, like I'm not, I don't have any knowledge of physics. But the slipstream effect where you get into that flow state. Go with me if you're giggling, I love that. Ah. Um, sometimes I try to talk about things that I have no business talking about. Um, but I want you to think about where's moments of when I'm in the flow state, when I've got momentum, where do I feel the energy? There should be an ease to some of those things. They could feel like an area of fast growth. Want you to look for that. The next question, if you think about your long term growth, what are uh, the roadblocks? So I want you to confront what are the roadblocks that you need to confront to growth? So if you're on this growth trajectory. Trajectory is a hard word to say. Side note, if you're on a growth chart also, I don't think that makes sense. Where are the roadblocks that would hold you back? What are the things that are going to trip you up and how do you confront those early? So thinking about, okay, my growth goals are this, the opportunities for me in my role is xyz. Well, what are the roadblocks that are going to stop me from getting there? Confronting those early, confronting them in advance is really important. The next question, I want you to write this down in your notes. Apply what skills do I need for what's next? So think about what's next. What are the skills you need and how are they different to the skills you have, because the skills you need for that future state you, the future growth that you're going after will be different to the ones you currently have. So I want you to think about them. There might be three and if you could try to boil it down to three, what are the skills that I need for what's next, the next level of growth for me in my career, in my leadership, in my HR role, whatever it is, what are the skills that I need? Okay, and let's say you've got three. So you've boiled it down to three particular skills. Now I want you to do a follow up question for me. Of those three skills, what is the single most important skill? Because here's where we go wrong with skill development. We try to prioritise everything at once and when we're thinking about learning a new skill, you're far better to hyper focus on one thing than to try to go after everything. So I want you to think about, okay, what are the three skills I need? So for someone listening here who wants to move from a manager to an executive role, and they've identified, okay, a couple of key skills, number one, I need to lead leaders. Leading leaders is different to leading individual contributors. That's the first skill. The second skill is I've got to actually get better at public speaking because I'm going to have a much larger team and I've got to be able to motivate people. I've got to be able to kind of lead from the front and my public speaking skill is not that great right now. And the third thing I need to do is to move from reactive to strategic. I need to be m planning for the next three years instead of planning for the quarter. And so those skills, you might look at those and go, okay, ah, of those ones, leading leaders, number one, public speaking, number two. And the third one, which I've just momentarily forgot what I said, Classic, classic. Uh, was working on your memory. That was the third skill. Of those three, which one do you prioritize? I know what it was. It was working on the three year strategy. Okay, of those three, which is most important? Well, I would say leading leaders is the most important because you've got to build the team in order for you to be successful as an exec. If you don't build a successful team, it doesn't matter how good a public speaker you are, it doesn't matter how good your strategy is, you will not manage that role well. And so what I'm saying here, and that little terrible version uh, of my skills, the three skills you want to build, you can see you've got to hyper focus on the one that's going to add the m most value and you've got to prioritize that first once you nail that. So I'm going to hyper focus on leading leaders, then I'm going to get to the public speaking one. Then I'm going to get to working on my short term memory, um, or strategic vision, planning, whatever you want to call it. I want you to narrow and hyper focus on one skill. So what skills do I need for what's next? And this is my favorite question, this is the last question. Who do I need to become? Who do I need to become? Who am? Like who do I? And I love this idea of reinvention that you are not static. Like I remember, um, a friend of mine dated a guy who, and he was, he was not like the best. Like I didn't personally. You can listen to how awkward I am. She dated a guy they didn't like stay together for obvious reasons. But he used to say this thing of, um, it's who I am, try change me. And it was just this sentiment that was like so jarring where he was like, it's who I am, try change me. And it was his thing of like, I am who I am. And I kind of was like, well actually humans aren't static. We can grow, we can develop. And this idea of reinvention to me is so powerful because it suggests that all right, I can change, I can grow and I can become something different for this next stage of growth that I'm entering into. And so I love. And it's funny, I just had been reminded of this through my own self reflection and also through working with teams the last week where I'm like, oh, actually it's such a good reminder every three years or so coming back and checking in and going, okay, how do I want to reinvent for this next stage that I'm moving into? Who do I need to become? And so that's the last question. So when you answer those, put them in your notes app, do some time self reflecting, capture your thoughts and then think about, okay, cool, now that I've got this there, what's the next step? What's my next action that I want to take? The principle of reinvention, obsessed and worth thinking about. Every three years or so you get to choose between discipline or disorder. I love thinking about the trade off choices we make. So choosing between one thing or the other. And I've been thinking about this idea of choosing between energy or entropy. And if you're thinking, what the heck are you talking about? That's so weird. You'd be right. It is weird. But let me explain the context, because the context makes it all make sense. I was running this workshop the other day with a bunch of leaders, and we always talk about this idea that teams don't drift towards health, they drift towards toxicity. And there was quite a bit of discussion and pushback to this concept, um, at the time. And this one amazing mechanical engineer spoke up and said something that I was like, oh, my gosh, this is amazing. And, um, again, completely out of my wheelhouse. So I, like, had to go and take notes and do, like. I talked to him afterwards. I thought it was the most amazing insight. So he said when people were, like, kind of disagreeing with the idea that teams don't drift towards health, they drift towards toxicity, he was like, no, no, this is fundamentally true. It's the second law of thermodynamics. And, like, uh, you said it as if, like, I personally would know what that was. I was like, excuse me, Like, I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean, the second law of thermodynamics? Like, uh, first of all, what's thermodynamics? And if you're laughing, if you're an engineer listening, I'm so sorry. I apologize for my lack of knowledge. And so then, uh, we sat down and we talked about it, and we had this amazing conversation, and I was like, um, what is. First of all, what's thermodynamics? If this is, like, if you're rolling your eyes at my level of, um, lack of knowledge, I. I'm sorry, but I was like, okay, what's the. What's thermodynamic thermodynamics? Just generally speaking. And then what is the second law? Because I need to know more. And this is what he told me. So I'm gonna, like, read this out. Because I took, like, notes again in my notes app as he talked to me, like, over, uh, the morning tea break. He, like, filled me in on the whole thing. So the second law of thermodynamics says that in a closed system, entropy or disorder increases over time. So an example would be a tidy room naturally becomes messy. A, uh, garden naturally becomes, um, overgrown. Or if you have a flat white in the morning, it will naturally become cold. Like, it doesn't just stay hot. And so the idea behind thermodynamics is that without Energy, entropy exists. And entropy is just a fancy way of saying disorder or chaos or, um, yeah, chaos or disorder. That's the best I can do for synonyms right now. It's Friday afternoon as I'm recording this, by the way. So it doesn't just. A room doesn't just clean itself, or a garden just doesn't stay beautifully, um, manicured. And a cold coffee can never become hot unless you heat it up in the microwave. So if you want to create order, you have to add energy. And so this idea, and he was unpacking with me, that in any system will drift towards entropy unless you add energy. And I was like, oh, my gosh, this is so amazing. And so again, yeah, that's where I got my little. He was talking. I'm like, I'm so sorry, I'm just going to write notes as you speak. And I think it was like. I'm like, this is the best thing ever. And this is why I love engineers, because they're so smart. But it was nice to actually dig into this concept and go, okay, well, unless you're putting in energy and effort and discipline into how you show up, it's not naturally going to give you the result you're after. So if you're, if you're relying on things to happen by chance, that, okay, um, I'm hopeful. Well, hope and chance are not strategies, especially in your career. So one thing for me that I've come back to after having this conversation was, okay, what are the areas in my career, in my work, that require more energy, that require more discipline or focused effort in order to get a different result? So if you're finding yourself getting like, um, blockers in certain parts of your career and you're, you're thinking, okay, well, what is that looking at? Okay, where do I need to focus my energy? So a couple of things that I have been thinking about for myself that again, we're sharing these ideas of self reflection and things that you can take away with you and do your own coaching. What is the area that you really want to improve? And this links to our conversation about reinvention. So reinvention and getting clear on what are all the ways I want to reinvent is amazing. That's the first step. It's like, here's how I want to reinvent myself. Okay, cool, we've got that now. We've got the, like, blueprint of how you want to reinvent amazing. Now let's use that and go, okay, well, where do I need to put my energy and Effort, knowing that just writing down the areas you want to and the ways you want to reinvent is not going to lead to that outcome. It's now about the energy and effort that's required to create that as a reality. So from reinvention to reality, how do we take those steps? So, okay, what's the biggest area you want to improve in? What is the energy or effort required? And think in action. Think about what are the actions required? What is the energy, effort, action that's needed to get that outcome? So if you said, okay, well, my, my area that I want to reinvent or the skill that I need to develop as part of this reinvention is how do I lead leaders? I'm no longer leading individual contributors, I'm now leading leaders. I need to build that skill set out. Cool. We've got clarity on what needs to change, what energy and action need to go into that to build that skill. So it may be. Okay, cool. I'm going to read XYZ book on what it means to lead leaders. I'm going to start to talk to a few really experienced execs who are very successful at what they do and ask them, how did they make the shift from leading individual contributors to leading leaders. And then you're taking what you've written down as, here's the areas that I want to reinvent and you're putting energy, effort and action into making the change. So coming back to this idea that without energy, you'll get an entropy disorder. So these kind of mean. I just loved, I absolutely loved that conversation. Like, the second law of thermodynamics has blown my mind. And again, I know there'll be people rolling their eyes, but just stay with me for a second. Disorder increases over time, so we've got to put that energy in. And energy being the antidote to that, we've got to put the energy and effort in to shift that. And so what are the areas that you feel okay, based on this, what's the one area I want to improve? What's the single most important action I want to take? Where do I need to put my energy and focus? Final thought, to create order, you must add energy. So thank you to the amazing, amazing person who, like, just blew my mind. And now I'm just going to be incorporating that into everything that I talk about for the next, you know, six months. I do love. I've just found myself so recently after having these conversations. You'll know if we're ever having a conversation. You'll know if it's a good one. If I say to you, can, can I just get my notes up out and start writing notes about what you're saying? Because these moments come up. I'm like, that's so amazing, so profound. I need to write that down.
Speaker C: Do you want to grow in your career? Are you after a fresh start or some inspiration? Or perhaps you're in a career crisis? The book Sort yout Career out and Make More Money by Shelly Johnson and Glenn James is such a great resource at any stage in your career. It will give you practical strategies for things like getting a promotion, making more money, moving into a leadership role, taking career risks, or if it's time to quit your job and so much more. You can find Sort your career out and make more money wherever good books are sold or via the link in the podcast Show Notes. It's also available as an audiobook
Speaker A: he's
Speaker B: dribbling the ball with everything on the line he's driving down the pitch. He's facing price hikes and cuts past him Carrier contracts tries to block him. Oh, he leaves him in the dust. He's at the edge of the box he cuts past the nonstop group chat trash talk. He clears on goal. He shoots Goal unlimited data for $25 a month for Visit your local Boost
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Speaker D: This episode is sponsored by HeyGen. HeyGen turns a script, photo or presentation into a polished video of you in minutes. No camera or crew required. It's how real estate agents, financial advisors, attorneys and creators show up consistently on every feedback and build a brand that brings in clients without spending their whole week making content. Rated the number one AI video platform for small businesses on G2, with the most realistic AI avatars in the industry, trusted by a community of over 30 million people and 85% of the Fortune 100, and built to work in over 175 languages so you can reach your audience in theirs. Here's the wild part. Record yourself for just 15 seconds and hey Gen builds an AI avatar that makes professional videos for you on demand so you can post everywhere your audience is as yourself without filming every time. Your first three videos are free at heygen.com pod that's H E Y-G-E-N.com pod.
Speaker A: Okay, Segue, we're going into a totally different direction now, but I just want to Share with you a little hack for conflict. And if you've got team conflict right now, listen up. This is really simple, very little hack. You can close teams, you can close email, you can close Slack, and you can pick up the phone. And one thing that I find it's really funny, I'm like, people are having these like, ping, uh, pong back and forward slack conflict kind of things, or they're having conflict over teams chat, or they're having conflict over emails. One leader I worked with referred to it as an email skirmish where they would just go back and forth over email until things got really escalated out of proportion. And I'm always hearing this stuff, thinking, at what point do we just think, let's just pick up the phone, like, let's just call someone, like, go real old school and just like dial their number and give them a call. Because so much of, um, these little conflicts escalate way out of proportion because we haven't just picked up the phone. And so if you've got team conflict at the moment, just like, remember, we've got these devices that we hold onto for 95% of our waking moment. Like, why can't we call people? I love a phone call with the right, uh, people. The other thing I'll just say, when we're talking about conflict, and this has come up recently, uh, with a friend of mine, we were talking about like tough conversations and how do you handle issues on your team? And one thing that happens in any conflict scenario, big or small, especially with employees, managers and team members, is sometimes we can move too quickly towards formality. So when you see situations start to escalate, let's say you've got a performance issue and it's escalating and someone's underperforming. What I tend to see with leaders is they change their tone of voice so they start to become really formal. So if they talk like this and they're like, hey, um, hey, how are you today? Or hey, or yo, what's going on? And they use the word yo in like, just general conversations. But then they're managing an underperformance issue and they'll start being like, as per my previous correspondence, don't do that. Like, don't be doing that. Still talk with your tone of voice. Because if you want to escalate conflict, just go formal. Just be, just talk like a, um, legal document. And that will escalate everyone's defensiveness, fear, uh, trepidation. Like, anything to do with the formality. To me, it always escalates. Conflict. So if you're in, like, early stage, like having disagreements with people, please be cautious about changing your language too much. And yes, I know there are formal pathways and we need to be sincere and we need to reflect the gravity of the situation. But it doesn't mean you start talking like a policy document. It should still be you, it should still sound like you. So it's funny. It's just those little things, like moving from hey, Sarah, how are you? To hi, Sarah. As per my previous correspondence, just like totally different language and that escalates. Anytime I start to see that, I get worried because I think, oh, do we need to, do we need to go to that? Like, what's, what's the rationale behind changing our whole tone of voice? Not saying we don't, uh, we don't be clear about the gravity of situations where there's, like, performance issues or where there's a particular conflict. And we need to make it clear that this is not okay. But I would just caution people from going towards too much formal language because I think it makes everyone terrified. Anyway, that's an aside. The only other thing, just a little final conflict hack if you're dealing with conflict on teams, is acknowledge the awkward. Just acknowledge it. If there's something awkward, just say, hey, I feel awkward about this. I feel vulnerable bringing this up. I feel that I haven't known how to handle it and so I've been avoiding this conversation. So just some really simple, tiny little micro skills for dealing with conflict. Number M1, pick up the phone and don't go back and forth over emails twice. More than twice. I think if you're on teams, chat and there's all this confusion, just say, hey, I'm gonna call you. I'm gonna give you a quick call. We can chat this through. Don't go too formal too soon. If you're dealing with performance issues, if you're dealing with complex matters, try to still sound like you, inject you your tone of voice into it, and then acknowledge the awkward. Acknowledge the, uh, vulnerable parts of it. Acknowledge the parts that make you feel uncomfortable. That's normal, that's healthy. The final thing on conflict, which is a bit, it's less of a hack and more of a deep skill, is repair. And I would say repair is the most underrated leadership skill. And it's something that when you get into leadership, they tell you how to run one on ones, how to set clear performance goals, but no one's telling you, hey, Jack, you've got to learn how to repair relationships. When they get damaged. And it is such a high order. Leadership skill is really complex in my, uh, mind. It's like all gray, no black and white, all nuance. So a couple of things. If you feel like you've damaged a relationship, I want to, I want you to think about how do I learn the art of repair? So there's a couple of key points on the art of repair. The first one is when you've stuffed something up as a leader, as a team member, and you think, I've damaged a relationship here, I've damaged trust. Firstly, take full ownership. Don't make excuses like, fully own it. And when I say fully own it, I mean no apologies emails. Like, you know when people say apologies instead of saying sorry. It's like when, um, I remember when Optus had that big, uh, ah, privacy breach and they sent out an email saying, our sincere apologies. And I'm like, apologies aren't sincere. We're sincere when we say sorry. Like, sorry is sincere apologies and sincerity to me, don't line up. Apologies is formal and it's distancing ourself. But, like, I love when people are like, instead of saying, hey, apologies for that, they're like, hey, I'm really sorry. I, uh, dropped the ball on that. I stuffed that up. Like, the sincerity is in the words, not the. Like, I don't know. I just think our, uh, sincerest apologies distances yourself from the actual genuineness of it. The other thing I think, um, when it comes to the art of repair is like, sitting in the discomfort and like, trying to get the other person. If you feel like there's a damaged relationship, you want to repair it. You really want to work on it. Sitting in that discomfort. So saying, hey, I really want to understand this from your perspective. I want to understand how it felt. I want to understand what I can do going forward. That's going to improve things. I want to understand, um, your view and your side of the story. And then the key thing is to shut up. Create space, create silence. Like, let that person genuinely share. Because sometimes I hear people in these moments where there's been a conflict or some, um, kind of dynamic on a team, they're trying to fix it, they're trying to repair it. They'll be like, hey, I really want to understand it from your perspective. Like, tell me what you think. Like, I really want to know. Like, what are you thinking? What's going on for you? Like, I'm really, I really care and I really want this to be, like, safe. And I really want to Build trust. Like, actually just stop talking and let them speak. Like, let the space do the work for you. And that's why I say sit in the discomfort. So people who are good at repair have built their tolerance for awkwardness, for discomfort, and for silence. And so if you want to repair a relationship, ask those really vulnerable, raw questions that make you feel uncomfortable, and then sit back, breathe and wait. The other one. If you want to know how do I open one of those repair conversations? I want you to start with the question like this. Are we okay? Hey, Jack, I just wanted to ask, are we doing okay? I feel like maybe something in how we're working together, um, isn't what it used to be. And I want to know, hey, what, what's going on for us or what's going on for you? And can I help? Now, using that question, are we okay? Is a really nice way to frame it when you don't necessarily know what's going on, but you feel there's a vibe, the vibes are off. So it's just a really, I think, a gentle way to open this conversation. So thanks for joining me on the journey of my raw thoughts. How do you reinvent every three years? Prioritize your reinvention. Who do you need to become for the next stage of growth? That entropy increases unless you add energy. That disorder, that chaos reigns unless you add energy. So anything you want to change in your career requires energy. How do you get focused on that? The second law of thermodynamics, as it were. And the final area, little conflict hacks. Pick up the phone, acknowledge what's awkward. Don't lean towards formal language. And then the final one, repair is the m most underrated leadership and emotional intelligence skill. And I want you to build it. Thanks for hanging out. If you enjoyed this episode, give us a five star rating on Spotify or Apple and connect with me on LinkedIn or follow us on Instagram. Look for Boldside.
Speaker C: If you have enjoyed the show today, forward it to a friend, colleague or family member who you may think it would benefit Shelley's business. Boldside provides leadership training for a variety of different businesses. To learn more, visit Boldside.com au if you would like to book Shelley to speak at one of your events, please reach out to the team via moneypodcast.com.
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