173 | Feeling Stuck? How Rituals Close the Gap Between Intention and Action with Danielle McGeough

Tracy Hoth: Can you relate to this like I can? You have the best intentions. You know exactly what to do. You have a plan, you've even put it on your calendar. But somehow your actions don't quite line up with your intentions. Maybe you've been meaning to hire, support or finish a project, create an offer, or finally tackle that pile that's been sitting there for months. You know what to do. You want to do it. But something keeps getting in the way.

Narrator: If you can relate.

Tracy Hoth: If you found yourself wondering, why am I stuck? What is wrong? Why do my actions not line up with my intentions? Then this episode is for you. Today I'm joined by Danielle McGee, coach, professor and creator of the Stuck Assessment. Danielle helps people identify what's really blocking them from taking action and teaches simple rituals that help them move forward. In our conversation, we talk about different

Narrator: types of stuck why high achievers often

Tracy Hoth: struggle when they're beginners again, how perfectionism, self sabotage can sneak into our businesses and lives in general, and why small rituals like what does that even mean? She's going to explain all of that to us can help bridge the gap between intention and action. I know you're going to find yourself somewhere in this conversation because I did. I share my own like I tend to do, get the coaching from Danielle and share my own situation. And I try to figure out what my small ritual is going to be as we have this conversation. So let's dive in. And I do want to quickly tell you that if you are feeling stuck, if you're feeling overwhelmed, disorganized, you know you want help but but you're not sure exactly what it should look like, then book a call with me@simplysquaredaway.com appointments and we will have a conversation, just the two of us and we'll figure it out. Do you need one on one coaching? Is one of my programs right for you? What exactly is keeping you stuck and what should you do next? What's your next step? Okay, let's get into this week's episode.

Narrator: Are you ready to work less, feel more organized and productive, streamline repetitive tasks and implement systems that allow your coaching business to run smoothly even without you? If so, you're in the right place. Welcome to the Organized Coach Podcast your go to source for practical tips and solutions. I'm your host Tracy Hoth, professional organizer, certified life coach, simplifying expert, and most of all die down to earth fellow coach just like you. No matter if you think you're missing the organizing gene, have ADHD, or just love anything, organizing I'm here to help you become an organized coach with a business that works for you. Pull up a seat and let's get started.

Tracy Hoth: Here we go. Danielle, I'm so excited for this conversation. And what really struck me is an episode you just had on about rebuilding trust. And so I think that a lot of this is gonna kind of play around that. So welcome to the organized coach podcast.

Danielle McGeough: I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me, Tracy.

Tracy Hoth: We just were reminiscing about how we were in a group together back when we first started our podcast, and just the different people that we know and have connected with. It's so fun.

Danielle McGeough: It is so fun. It is such a joy.

Tracy Hoth: Yeah. Okay, so I want this episode to be kind of about bridging the gap between intention and action. And you specialize in this. And we all have these intentions we want to meet. And I was even thinking of this yesterday. I thought of you. I'm like, I have this interview tomorrow, and I have these intentions of making, uh, doing stuff. And then, oh, my action didn't line up, and I was like, oh, what do I do? How do I handle it? So where do we start with that?

Danielle McGeough: That's a juicy question. You know, I think that one of the biggest things is to figure out what it is that's blocking your ability to take action. And there's different things that keep us stuck. Sometimes it's the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves. Sometimes it is the habits that we've had in place for. You know, this is a repeated thing that you do over and over and over again, and you have to intervene. You've got to find a way to block that. Sometimes it is simply about learning better time management skills so that we can create the space to actually be able to take our intentions and put them into action. And then sometimes I think it's that we've become dissociated from ourselves over time, that as we've gotten older and we've been doing the thing, and you show up and you check the things off the list and you take care of everybody in your life. And all of a sudden you look up and you're like, what do I enjoy?

Narrator: Anym.

Danielle McGeough: And so you've set some intentions, but they aren't really your intentions. They might be about social expectations. It might be other people's expectations that you've been wearing for so long, you don't even recognize they aren't your clothes anymore. And, uh, so I think that there's a lot of different things that Might disrupt our intentions turning into action.

Tracy Hoth: That is so good. So four very specific examples that could be reasons why this is happening. So then what's next? Like, how do you figure out what it is for you specifically?

Danielle McGeough: So one, I will say I do have an assessment that helps people name their stock. And I do think that different types of stuck require different sorts of problem solving. And so the assessment you can find@plangoalplan.com backslash stuck. And I took over two years of coaching sessions, and because I'm a nerdy professor, I went through and I coded it like it was qualitative data. And I found these different types of stuck. And then I have. I'll help you mean that. But then I'll give you a really small ritual that will help you wiggle jiggle out of that stuckness.

Tracy Hoth: Oh, I like wiggle jiggle. That's, uh, so cute. And that's so. I always think of it like spaghetti noodles in a bowl. And so like kind of slowly pulling that out is like the wiggle jiggle of, of, uh, loosening up. What is keeping you stuck?

Danielle McGeough: Yeah. So I would ask you some questions about, you know, this interview and what, what you're excited about and are there some underlying fears and do you have any patterns that when something really big and exciting happens that you might fall into? Uh, that might be different forms of self sabotage. It might be, you know, there might be all sorts of different things going on. And a lot of times, if you're just aware of that, it becomes a lot easier to intervene.

Tracy Hoth: M. Yeah, mine is more like yesterday. I have this project that's due. Well, I mean, it's due. I set my own deadlines, but I've been wanting to hire this person and I have all this stuff to get to her and I don't know how to do it. It's like things I need to figure out. And there's these, I don't know, like tech things. Do I need to add her as a user? And I think all of that confusion, all of that, so dramatic in my thinking, but all of that figuring the details out and making decisions is what keeps me from getting it done, because I don't know how it's going to work. And I remember a specific project last year, same thing. I hired someone to do something and there were things that took longer than I thought. I had to try to figure things out, do new things I've never done before. So I think that's part of it for me is that it's just. Yeah, it's that confusing. Like, uh, I'm not sure how to do this. I don't know. It's going to be hard. Like those kind of stories, I guess they're stories.

Danielle McGeough: Oh, yeah. You know, it's so interesting. I find that a lot of the women that I work with are in high pressure jobs and they are high performers. And one of the things that get. Gets that particular type of woman tripped up. Right, Is that we are so used to being incredibly competent. We know what we're doing and when all of a sudden we're thrown into a situation where we're a beginner again, we, uh, sometimes try to overperform, over control things in an effort to protect ourselves from being a beginner. Even though

Tracy Hoth: that's so true. And that's funny that you mentioned that, because I know I've said this on my podcast before, but I just recently have realized, okay, I am not going to choose to be someone that is good at something or they quit. But I think learning that in myself, like, I want to be someone who starts things isn't good, doesn't have to be the best and figures things out and gets better and better. But I, you know, that's challenging. And so I can resonate with what you just said really well and realize, oh, that's just me not knowing and it's okay and I don't have to race through it and there's gonna be parts I don't know. And I can tell myself that. But still, it still is, I've been, I think, procrastinating or maybe it's just going slower than I think I should or getting distracted easily.

Danielle McGeough: I know I, I tend to over function. And so I'll tell myself, you know, oh, you know, do all of, like, do all of this research, do all of this planning, do all of this stuff, and then you'll be protected. Like, I don't think about it that explicitly in my head. Yeah, but it's really like a protection function where if I go, hey, Danielle, you've done a lot of things. Maybe you've never done this exact thing, but you have skills that are transferable. What if you just trusted that you already have everything that you need in this moment and that you're gonna walk into this moment, it will all be fine and it may take longer than you expect. That's it. Uh, I mean, our own expectations are wild too. You know, these expectations that we put on ourselves. Like, oh, I was meeting with a client and she was like, well, I really want to start Planning. But I can't do that until I have my office clean. And so she had, huh, just made this expectation that she can't write in her planner until she has completely decluttered, organized, and decorated her office. And like, how many of us put those stipulations on ourselves? Like, oh, I can't exercise until I buy brand new shoes.

Tracy Hoth: Yes. Or until I have all like, greens filled in my refrigerator.

Danielle McGeough: Oh, absolutely. Or I. I can't clean my house until I buy a new vacuum.

Narrator: Yes.

Tracy Hoth: Oh my goodness. So many things.

Danielle McGeough: Okay.

Tracy Hoth: One of the things you mentioned earlier was your rituals. Like you would give someone little rituals. So tell us more about, about that. And I know you kind of have a framework with these rituals. Are they the same rituals that you would give someone to get the figure out the unstuck or stuck.

Danielle McGeough: Yeah. So with a stuck assessment, it will generate a, uh, ritual that is specific to your type of stuckness. But m. My rise ritual method, which is a framework, is really designed for you to be able to create your own ritual, uh, for different places in your life. And usually I like to say that we need rituals in spaces that require transition, because rituals transition us from one state to another.

Tracy Hoth: That is good. And I remember hearing about that a long time ago. And I think the example was like, someone's coming home from work and they have a little ritual that gets them transferred into like, parent mode or whatever. Or relationship mode versus work mode.

Danielle McGeough: Yes, yes, that's a great example. So a little bit of my own story was when I was probably 20, I decided I wanted to be a professor. And y', all, I was not the smart kid, like, growing up, I was the weird kid. All of my report cards described me as unique. So, you know, which is totally just a way that teachers very politely tell your parents that you're weird. And, and so, so when I was 20, I saw all these professors, uh, doing their thing, and I was like, oh, I think I want to do that. And then they're like, you're going to have to get a PhD if you want to do this. And I was like, oh, no. I'm like, I'm not a smart kid. I'm the weird kid. So if I'm going to be able to get a PhD, I'm going to have to work twice as hard as everyone else. And so that's the story that I told myself. And that's what I did. And. And I created so many good habits, y'.

Tracy Hoth: All.

Danielle McGeough: So many good habits. Work habits, life habits, study habits. You gotta have It, I know how to stack it right. And it, it worked. You know, I got the, uh, dream job, I got the PhD. I got tenure. And when I got there though, I felt really flat. And weirdly enough, something that I studied in my PhD was rituals and how rituals transform cultures. And I started to think about, oh, habits are really designed to eventually be on autopilot. But if I'm feeling like I'm living on autopilot, like check, check, check. You can't solve autopilot with more autopilot.

Tracy Hoth: Mhm.

Danielle McGeough: Where rituals really are designed to transition you, like you said, like maybe from work mode to home mode. And so finding little spaces in our day that we need to transition, the Rise ritual method can help you do that. So the R in the Rise ritual method stands for reflect. And it really is where you reflect and go, what is my current state and what is the state that I need to move to? So actually, one of my clients, she described herself as Busy Betty. And she said, uh, I want to be Relaxed Rita. And so, yeah, so she was a school teacher and after school she would come home and she was having a hard time just turning off work brains. She'd be thinking about her students and what she could have done better and who needs what kind of help while she was trying to tend to her own kids needs and making dinner and cleaning the house and all that stuff. And so we created a little ritual that would help her move from Relaxed Rita to Busy Betty. So the R stands for reflect and then the I is intentionally plan. So we wanted to think about, well, where are you going to do your ritual, when are you going to do your ritual? How long does it need to be? And so she actually tried to do a ritual in her classroom. And it turns out her colleagues really like to interrupt and chat with her about their day. And so that wasn't working. But then if she came home and tried to do it, her kids were like, give me a snack, give me this, you know. And so what we did is we created a little ritual box that she kept in her, her car. And she would actually pull her minivan into the garage and she would do her ritual. And I think it involves some music that she would listen to. If I remember right, she had a little pad of paper and a pen in there and then maybe even something that she sprayed in her car, like an essential oil that smelled really good. And she would do some different journaling prompts and they were super short. She had a five minute version of this and she had a 20 minute version of it. And it was just a way to reset her, reframe her so that she could be present and move into home mode.

Tracy Hoth: That sounds so sweet and caring for yourself. You know what I mean? So, okay, but so this rise framework helps you set your own. This isn't the ritual. It's you seeing how to create your ritual.

Danielle McGeough: Absolutely.

Tracy Hoth: Okay, that's so good.

Narrator: Okay.

Tracy Hoth: So when I think of the reflect, for me, I think of more. So what is coming to my mind, just based on what we already talked about, is me going into planning to execute this project that I'm needing to do. And so, yeah, maybe I'd be distracted Debbie. I need to love that. Um, I need to be present or focused to go into this. Okay, so that's so interesting, because I am thinking this is the ritual, but no, it's how to create your own ritual. I love that. And then intentionally planning maybe would just be me needing to take one little portion of it at a time. Or am I planning my ritual? I'm planning.

Danielle McGeough: So you're planning your ritual. So you want to think about how long you want to do your ritual, when you would do it. So it might be a little ritual that you do right before you would dive into the work.

Tracy Hoth: Yeah.

Danielle McGeough: You might think about what is something really quickly that you could do that would move you from distracted Debbie. To focused Frida. Uh, I gave you a name there.

Tracy Hoth: And.

Danielle McGeough: And so it might just be something like, um. So the S in the rise ritual method stands for sensory activation.

Tracy Hoth: Okay.

Danielle McGeough: And so you might. A lot of times, people like to open and close the ritual with some sort of sensory activation, because that invites presence. And the sensory activation should also match the desired state for you. In this case, that would be focused Frida. Right. So, like, what helps you focus? And so, you know, I explain. I have a morning ritual, and when I wake up, I actually have an incredibly fast brain. My anxiety turns on in the morning, and it's like, what are all the things that we need to get done? And I actually want to calm myself. I want to ground myself. I want to be more rooted. So I start my day, actually in a Snuggie, and I'm all cozy. And I've got some journaling practices that I do. My husband, he wakes up, and he is groggy, and he is grumpy, and he is. And he would just go back to sleep. If you would sensory activate him by putting him in a Snuggie, that would be the worst thing ever. He needs. He needs cold. He Needs sunshine and light. He needs something that's going to wake him up and turn his brain on. So the, the same. We might both have morning rituals, but the sensory activation that we need needs to be completely different. So I would ask you what is something that would evoke your senses, that helps you focus, that gets you in focused mode?

Tracy Hoth: I know I'm completely blank thinking, so this makes me think, oh, I'd want to test it because I'm, I don't know, I think I usually like silence. But maybe we have those, you know, those um, fireside AI things on YouTube that we play in the living room sometimes. And we just have the scene, the New York skyline on our, or coffee shop on our tv. So I think what if I put on like focused music kind of like that, that doesn't have words and that's really soft. Or I mean, I could test lighting a candle or something like that. I don't know that that ties into me being focused, but I don't know, I would, I would think I could test it.

Danielle McGeough: Yeah, you could definitely test it. So you could, you could try just having, taking a deep breath and having a moment of silence. You could test, uh, going. You know, you might have a prompt that you journal on that's just like, what are the three smallest steps I could do to move this project forward? Um, there's something called interstitial journaling, which is basically where you say, this is what I just did and this is what I intend to do next. And you write it down and it feels silly, but there's something, you know, the science of writing things down. But it's, it's like I just walked my kids to school and now I'm going to sit down and record a podcast with Tracy and be super present.

Tracy Hoth: Mhm.

Danielle McGeough: And there's something about that process of naming what you did and where you're going that can actually be really focusing. And so you could try something like that too. It's called interstitial journaling, which just like, is a fancy way of saying what.

Tracy Hoth: I just, I, um, love that. Okay.

Danielle McGeough: So.

Tracy Hoth: Because the other thing I thought of was taking a post it note and just doing that or writing like what exactly I'm doing or something like that on a post it note. But I love that it doesn't have to be light a candle or take a bubble bath or something like that. Like it, like the sensory part could just be writing something down. That's so freeing because I know I can do that in 30 seconds, you know?

Danielle McGeough: Absolutely. And that that writing is a tactile experience.

Tracy Hoth: Yeah.

Danielle McGeough: Um, I'm super picky about pens. Are you? Are you?

Tracy Hoth: Oh, yes. I have a new favorite. These.

Danielle McGeough: Oh. Ooh. Are, uh, they G2s.

Tracy Hoth: They're Pentel Energel liquid gel ink. I think it's a 0.7. Most of the ones I like. Yep. Metal tip, 0.7. And they love all colors. Yes.

Danielle McGeough: Yeah. So. So I think that part of our pen preference is because we have a sensory experience with those pens. And I will tell you, if you give me a juicy pen, I will take better notes.

Tracy Hoth: Yes. That's so true. Oh, uh, this is exciting. Like, I had never really thought about that before.

Danielle McGeough: Yeah. And so your, your ritual doesn't have to be very long. In fact, sometimes I will tell people, depending on what the ritual is, that you might also have different versions of it. You might have a one minute version of it, you might have a five minute, and you might have a really spacious one hour version of it. And so, you know, the sorts of rituals that I've helped people create really do expand. You know, everything from I'm just going to take a deep breath and say, let me be inspired and let me inspire others and then begin. Right. And it might be, um, A client of mine is a chaplain, and so she sits with people through really, really difficult moments. And the emotional weight can creep up on you, even though she's a professional. And this is what she does. She has feelings and emotions and she's there for people. And so she kept a rock in her pocket and anytime she would feel overburdened, she would kind of imagine that she was taking her emotions and running them from her chest down her arm and then putting them in a rock and saying, rock, this is yours to carry. Uh, and it was just a way to remind herself that she didn't have to carry everything alone. And so this is something that took three seconds.

Tracy Hoth: Yeah. That's so good.

Narrator: Okay.

Tracy Hoth: So you reflect, you intentionally plan and then you have sensory or you use sensory. Is that how you say it?

Danielle McGeough: Sensory activation. And then the E stands for embody the story. And this is just to simply go, how do I make sure I keep living in this state that I've transitioned to mhm and to just really think about that a bit. So this might be my morning ritual. Helps me feel rooted and grounding and calm. Well, once I. Once my ritual is over and I wake up my kids and I'm making breakfast and putting together book bags and making sure we don't forget the viola Right. What are all of the things that I might. How can I move through that calmly? How do I keep a sense of calm? And that might be something a little snippet from my ritual that I want to carry with me. So it might be a phrase. Right now, my word is light, light, light. So whenever I feel myself starting to get stressed out about the viola and whether or not I actually put any vegetables in my daughter's lunch today, I can just think to myself, light, light, light. And so that's part of my ritual. My morning ritual is I'm doing some journaling around lightness and, you know, keeping myself light. But then how can I just use a word to repeat it so that I continue to embody it after the ritual's over?

Tracy Hoth: Okay, so mine would be. I mean, what would it be? I'm sitting at my desk, so I guess I could look back at the post it note and just be thinking about how I'm present in this moment, working on this project.

Danielle McGeough: I think. So I think you could. You could think about it in terms of. Maybe it's a word like focus that you repeat. It might be just taking one of the options that you write down. So if you write down a task to do and all of a sudden you find yourself, I don't know, on Instagram, and how do you just bring yourself back and say, you know, to that task? And you could repeat that task. You also might have a phrase like present or, um, it sounds like you want to move forward with this. So it might just be like, momentum or forward or, you know, whatever feels juicy to you.

Tracy Hoth: What, you know, what came to my mind while you were talking is valuable. M. Like, this is so valuable. Because then it makes me think, oh, what I'm doing in this project is really valuable. That feels really meaningful to help me. Then focus on it, you know, like, be really present with it.

Danielle McGeough: I love that. Especially because when we're working on such huge projects, it's so easy when you get into the nitty gritty of it, to feel like, oh, I've broken it down to such a small task that reminding yourself that that really small, tedious, maybe mundane feeling task actually is valuable can be a challenge. And so I love the idea of you using valuable.

Tracy Hoth: Does everyone want you to tell you what their ritual should be?

Danielle McGeough: M. You don't. Yes and no. I think that the. The joy of letting people create their own ritual is that we. You, uh, know, some of the places that we've created rituals are not ones that I would have necessarily Gone to.

Tracy Hoth: Right.

Danielle McGeough: And so I think that it has allowed for that. But one of the things that I do run into because I do speaking and you know, workshops as well, is that sometimes people do want me, like just give me the ritual. And I struggle with that, even with a stuck assessment. I offer you a place to start, but I kind of hope that people take the approach that you just did, which is I'll need to experiment with it.

Narrator: Mhm.

Danielle McGeough: That you can take that as a starting point and go, oh well, like I'm not really a candle person. I'm not going to light a candle. Or you know, I actually think that this makes me tired. What I really need is to be energized. And so what could I do to replace something that moves from like cozy to more like energetic? And I uh, hope that people will take the agency to kind of muck with things.

Tracy Hoth: Yeah. Because the other thought that came to my mind to do right beforehand is do a plank. Because it kind of gets your body like blood flowing or whatever and it's strong, it makes you feel strong and. Or I guess maybe it makes people feel weak. You can't do a plank for more than 10 seconds or whatever. But it, it just would fuel you to maybe be more focused. But I do like uh, thinking about not doing things when I'm thinking I need to be focused. It's more like doing things around it, like saying valuable or doing the plank where it's not like something typically tied to being focused. I don't know why I feel like resistance to that. But it's so fun to just think through this and think about. So then you have your ritual, your transition and then is there anything you just start practicing that.

Danielle McGeough: Yeah. So usually you have like an open and a close to your ritual. So you might like a habit. There might be things that need to cue that it's time to do your ritual.

Tracy Hoth: Yes.

Danielle McGeough: Right. So you uh, know you might need to temptation bundle or connect your plank to something that you already do. So every time I walk in my office, I'm going to do a plank for 10 seconds and then I'm going to start working. Right. So there might be something that you attach it to or it might be I'm going to make my coffee. And then once I, you know, like after I make my coffee, that's when I'm going to sit down and journal so that there's something that you're already doing that functions as a cue to begin the thing.

Tracy Hoth: Yeah, that's good. And then when you Say close. Is there something that you would do to close it or just to make

Danielle McGeough: sure that you can mark that the ritual is over.

Tracy Hoth: Okay.

Danielle McGeough: So when we think about, you know, large scale cultural rituals like a wedding, we know that a wedding is over when it uh, you know, when people say, and I present to you Mr. And Mrs. You know, whoever. And that marks that it's time for us to clap and they're going to walk out of the church.

Tracy Hoth: Yeah.

Danielle McGeough: Or wherever they're getting married. Right. And so I think that it is really helpful if every time, you know how you finish your ritual, like the ritual is over. So. And uh, it doesn't have to be big. It might be something as simple as I close my notebook and put my pen in a certain spot. It might be I shut down my computer. It might be, you know, I blow out the candle. So just something that marks. I have transitioned.

Tracy Hoth: Yeah. So for me, I think about the. I have put the sticky note that I wrote on, on the edge of my monitor and then I know. Okay, we're starting.

Danielle McGeough: Yes. So that physical at. That's another tactile experience. Right. Of putting the sticky note on there. Right. Could be a signal. And then what you can use is almost taking off the sticky note. Could be, you know, in reading your little list. Right. Could be. Or writing on it or pulling it out. This is when it starts. Mhm. And then it ends when you put it onto the computer.

Tracy Hoth: Oh yeah. So good.

Danielle McGeough: Okay.

Tracy Hoth: One of the things, well, you can share if there's something else tied to this. But one of the other questions that I loved that I was kind of reading about you is when we wake up and we feel behind, we feel immediately, uh, behind. We don't even have to wake up. We can be go to our office, we can look at our to do list when we feel behind. So is there anything that you, any advice around that feeling of behind?

Danielle McGeough: I would one encourage you to challenge the assumption that you are behind. According to who, says who. So it, you know, right away to then get curious about what is it that's making me feel behind. So I actually woke up today with a little bit of that sensation. And what I realized was that I have today is a uh, forward facing day. I have this podcast episode. I teach one of my group coaching programs from uh, 11 to 12:30. And then I teach, I am a college professor. I teach two courses back to back this afternoon. And so it's just a very forward facing day. And because of that, that means that there's not a lot of time for preparation or sending emails or anything like that. And there are a few things on my list that I need to do in the next couple of days. And I realized though my job today isn't actually to answer emails or to do the preparation, I already did that. My day is to show up to the things that I've committed to, to be present, to be light and to. To be there for others. And so some of it's trusting that I already did do the work. Mhm. And that just because some days getting stuff done does mean crossing a lot of things off the list. This is not one of those days. So I realized that I had a sense of to not be behind or to catch up would be to cross a lot of things off the list because that's not what the day is asking of me. And so if you can kind of ask yourself what is this day requiring of me and how do I want to show up today? So I like to say that I, I have to be goals and I have to do goals. Right. You got your to do list, but you can have your to be list too. So there are some days where your calendar is full, you might be tempted to feel behind because you want to do your to dos. But what the day is asking you is who do you want to be today? What's your to be list?

Tracy Hoth: Oh my gosh, I love that. I'm so glad this is recorded. I have never thought about it like that before, so that's so helpful. And it makes me think of like in my organized life academy, one of the things we talk about is planning when we're going to organize. Instead of always feeling like you're behind or you have so much left to do to declutter your home and organize your home. But one of the things we talk about at the beginning of every month, we plan it on our calendar. So if it's written in two weeks, like for me, I'm going to do my closet M, you know, like next Friday and all month long it's already the almost the mid end of the month and I know that it's there so I don't have to think about it ahead of time. But I've never really thought about it with my to do list. But I love that. So today is my to be day and I can do the other things on um, the to do days.

Danielle McGeough: Yes. And I will say I always plan for things to go awry. I always plan for things to take at least 20% longer than I think that they will so when I'm organizing my house, I will try to. I. I don't know how you move. I would love to learn how you move people through, you know, my organized life. But I might think, okay, every day I'm gonna spend 15 minutes, uh, on an part of my kitchen. I was just going through my kitchen, right? And I might plan that out. But then I'm gonna give myself a few oh, crap days in the calendar because inevitably there's gonna be one of those days that even though it's only 15 minutes, I'm gonna miss it. But if I tell myself, hey, it's okay that you miss, you're not behind, because you have 15 to 30 minutes scheduled this weekend to make up for all of the ones that you didn't hit this week, you'll be okay.

Tracy Hoth: Yes. Okay. I love that. And I. I do recommend people plan like that. Give yourself double time. But then the resistance that I think people might feel is they don't have time for that. Like, they don't have that much space to give themselves extra time because they have so much to do.

Danielle McGeough: M. So I spent a lot of time feeling like time was scarce. And now, after a lot of practice and a lot of ritual around time and planning, I really believe that there is time for everything that's important to me. There is time for everything that's important for me and y'. All. Some days that feels more true than others. There are days where I'm like, Danielle, are you BSing me right with this? No. But for the. So right now, I'm a full time professor in my professor job. I am a strategic, uh, planning fellow. So I oversee strategic planning for a university. I also run a group called the Strategic Growth Lab for the university, where I help people with purpose, autonomy, and mastery in their jobs. I have an 8 and a 10 year old. I have two brand new puppies. I have parents that are aging and need caregiving. I run a small theater at the university. I run a business. I have a podcast. I post on social, uh, almost every single day, y'.

Narrator: All.

Danielle McGeough: I exercise and I made dinner most nights, right? And. And I sort of. And I see this because what I don't have time for. Oh, and I read novels, y'.

Narrator: All.

Danielle McGeough: I read crappy romance and thriller novels almost every evening, right? And so I. I sort of say that. Not to say that I'm superwoman or brag or any crap like that, but to really say that there is time for the things that are important to you, which means that there are some Things I have dropped the ball on or I don't do. And my, my van is a hot mess, y'. All. Not even a hot mess. It's just a mess.

Tracy Hoth: Right?

Danielle McGeough: Uh, uh, there was a moment where I was like, hey y', all, when you get out the door, trash is just falling out. So we should probably do something about that.

Tracy Hoth: Right?

Danielle McGeough: And, and I've just decided that a clean van isn't my priority. But I cannot function with a messy kitchen. And so when you know what matters to you, it doesn't mean that I can never clean the van. The van got some attention, right? It eventually needs attention.

Tracy Hoth: Or you delegate it. You know, delegate that.

Danielle McGeough: Hey kids, every time you get out, you're going to be taking three pieces of trash with you. Right? So yes, I can delegate that. I do. I have a house cleaner that comes twice a month. I delegate out our laundry from time to time. I use a, uh, app called Poplin. So for example, we're going to get away this weekend for just a couple days. Whenever we get back, I just have them pick up my laundry. And that makes it so much easier. And so I definitely have things that I have decided I can delegate. Also, uh, I don't watch tv, you all, I don't watch any tv. I have deleted all sorts of apps from my phone. And what I sort of tell myself is if I've made these goals to declutter my house, to organize my house, and I'm not doing it over and over again, I would start to get curious about whether or not this is actually my priority. Is this actually what's important to me? If an alien came down and looked at my calendar, what would that alien think my priorities were? And if my priorities weren't lining up with how I was spending my time, you know, then I think something needs to give. Or I need to admit to myself that I keep saying that I care about this, but the fact that I'm not making time for it means that I, I'm not giving. I actually, I don't care about it as much as I think.

Tracy Hoth: Mhm.

Danielle McGeough: And that's hard. That is hard to get that level of honest with yourself.

Tracy Hoth: Right. And to hold the space for yourself as you look at that.

Danielle McGeough: And it's okay to do that from a space of non judgment or guilt.

Tracy Hoth: Right. I love that you said you practiced that thought change. Like it all does come back to the stories we tell ourselves. And so to feel abundance with time takes practice. And do you use the a, uh, ritual in that?

Danielle McGeough: So I really Think about my planning practice as a ritual. So for me it's an act of self care. Planning is an act of personal development. I think of it as a way that I collect data on myself to learn about myself. So when I sit down and I plan, I do a lot of reflection around what worked last week, what didn't work. I said I was going to do this, this was my intention, but I didn't act in align with my intention.

Tracy Hoth: Hmm.

Danielle McGeough: I wonder what's going on there. And again, like, I just get curious. I try not to get too critical of myself because sometimes what I realize is, oh, I didn't clean out that drawer that I told myself I was going to clean out because my mom needed me to come over and help with something at her house and my dad is having back problems so he can't help her with that right now. I love that I prioritized taking care of my family in that moment.

Tracy Hoth: Mhm.

Danielle McGeough: And I still care about organizing my kitchen. So how do I get back on track?

Tracy Hoth: I love it.

Danielle McGeough: I love it.

Tracy Hoth: Okay. This is so helpful and so good. And I'm going back to what I said in the beginning. We're looking at the gap between intention and action and then rebuilding that trust. And I think all that we talked about answers that question. Is there anything else before we close that you would add to that?

Danielle McGeough: I just want to maybe speak to trust a little more directly.

Tracy Hoth: Mhm.

Danielle McGeough: And say that when we keep making plans and we aren't able to follow through over time, that really can sand down our trust in ourselves. Mhm. And so to recognize where you are with your own self trust and to go, what would I need to do in order to trust myself again? And you know, I always joke that I hate. Uh, you know, one of my, one of my good friends, an old student of mine, wrote a book around, you know, one pushup and this idea that, you know, it can start with one pushup. And I always would joke with him, I'm like, Bradley, I can't just do one pushup and feel like fulfilled or like satisfied. And what I've really realized is it depends on where I'm at in my own health journey, like fitness journey, that if I'm in a place where I've been doing, you know, 30 to one hour of weightlifting for five days a week, one pushup isn't going to feel like enough. Right. But if you're in a place where you're like, oh, I just can't get myself to go to the gym, one pushup feels like something.

Tracy Hoth: Mhm.

Danielle McGeough: And like that's not, it's not really about the push up building your biceps. It's about showing yourself that you told yourself you were going to do something and you did it. And so I might be in a place where one pushup doesn't work for my fitness, but I might need the one pushup version of cleaning my kitchen. I might need the one push up version of organizing my digital files. And so to figure out too that just because you have self trust in certain areas, that doesn't mean that you don't have opportunities to build self trust in others.

Tracy Hoth: That's good. Yeah. And that uh, the way you build self trust is by evaluating what's going on, figuring out what's going on and then starting with one tiny step.

Danielle McGeough: Mhm. Starting with a tiny step that makes sense for where you are in your journey, in your season.

Tracy Hoth: So good. Okay Danielle, tell us about you, where people can find you, what you offer.

Danielle McGeough: Well, I would love it if you listen to Plan Gold Plan or check out my website and then I would love it if you took that uh, self assessment, if you took the stuck assessment. And you can find that@plangoalplan.com stuck and that's just a way for me to dig into your brain a bit, connect with you and maybe start the conversation.

Tracy Hoth: I love it. Thanks so much for being here and for sharing this with us and can't wait to go back and re listen, take all this wisdom. That's so good. So I appreciate you being here.

Danielle McGeough: Thank you so much for having me and I hope that your focus ritual gets you where you need to be.

Narrator: Wait. If you're finding this podcast useful, you must check out the Organized Coach Academy. It's my course where I walk you through every step to get your business organized, to get yourself organized, to save money and time, to prepare to hire someone to do all the things that you want to do in your business with ease. Check that out@simplysquaredaway.com OCA Also, I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but

Tracy Hoth: I would love it.

Narrator: It's my way of knowing that you're enjoying the podcast. If you leave a written review, I have lots of freebies for you. They're linked in the show notes. You can find him in my bio on Instagram raceyhoath. And until next week, have a beautiful day.