EP 3.27: From Salon Owner to Sleepless Nights: My Birth Story, Business and Becoming a Mom

Speaker A: What's up, you guys? I'm your host, Michelle Sonor, and welcome to the Limitless podcast. I'm so excited to be on the podcast today, sharing something really personal. As many of you know, I recently had my first baby, and life has just been the most beautiful blur ever since. As a salon owner, I'm used to juggling schedules, managing a team, and keeping everything running smoothly. But nothing prepared me for the wild ride of motherhood. In this episode, I'm opening up about my birth story, postpartum highs and lows, and how I'm navigating running a business with a newborn in the mix. I hope this episode resonates with other moms, business owners, or anyone figuring it out one day at a time. So grab your notebook and let's get Limitless. Well, welcome, everybody. This is going to be a really fun, personal episode. I've got Katie back on the podcast with me today.

Speaker B: Hello.

Speaker A: You guys know her and love her. If you guys have been listening to the podcast, she's a mom of almost two. Two here. Um, who knows? Maybe by the time this episode, uh, airs, she's gonna have two babies.

Speaker B: It could happen. Yes.

Speaker A: I mean, I'm prepared right now, you know, so whatever we gotta do. Nurse Michelle, we're ready for the fun. But as a lot of you guys know, I just had my first baby just a few weeks ago. And, um, it's been a really, really beautiful journey. But I'm excited to kind of talk about all the different avenues from prior to pregnancy to during the pregnancy, to after pregnancy, postpartum, all of that. Um, I think this can be a really insightful epis, and I'm gonna ask that Katie, uh, chimes in a little bit too, because, um, she came from working full time for her entire adulthood and actually worked full time, um, for my company, and then now, you know, is part time and has been managing all the mom things. So I would love, Katie, if you would share a little bit of tidbits with our listeners too, because I think we've got people at, um, all different avenues of life.

Speaker B: Definitely. Definitely. Okay, let me just start by saying I've met your little one so many times now, and he is just the sweet, sweetest thing. You've brought the most beautiful life into the world. Not to make you cry.

Speaker A: We're all gonna cry. If you guys wanna listen to just crying. I'm just kidding.

Speaker B: No, but yeah, it's just been beautiful to see you become a mom. I'm so thankful to be alongside this.

Speaker A: That was such a Special journey to see you become a mom. But I feel like even with your second pregnancy now, too, now having gone through that, that's one of the things I want to touch on, is I think I could have been a way better friend, a way better sister if I had been pregnant earlier. Because you just don't understand sometimes, like, we. What they're going through and the different, like, different just emotions and seasons and body changes. Like, you don't always understand that. And nor would I ever expect anybody to understand that who hasn't gone through it. However, I feel like I have such a deeper understanding now for people going through the journey.

Speaker B: Definitely.

Speaker A: I think that we've talked about that a lot. Like, you, unless you've gone through it, it's really hard to understand. So I have a deeper space in my heart, and I'm just excited for you two to bring in second baby. Yes.

Speaker B: Yes. Okay. And I think that's why today's conversation is going to be so important. So let's go back before baby and start with a little bit of the prep work.

Speaker A: What was life before?

Speaker B: Yeah, what was life before? I know if you can think. Yeah. Um, but when you first found out you were pregnant, what was your thoughts? I mean, like, where were you at when you found out that you were going to have a baby?

Speaker A: Yes. So I actually want to trickle back to, like, a year prior to getting pregnant. So I used to have a lot of fears around what my life would look like after having a baby. Being a business owner, because, uh, being in the hair industry, being a business owner, that was my identity for almost 15 years at that point. And it's something that I love. And I was really fearful of feeling like I would have lost something or would I be as, like, badass. Would I be able to manage it all? Like, I had a lot of fears around that. And actually, I wrote a letter to myself. Um, it was a exercise that we were doing in one of my events, and it was just like, I hope that next year, when hopefully you're pregnant, you can take a moment to sit back and really be proud of everything that you've accomplished that have gotten you to this point. Because the whole reason why I've been working as hard as I have the last seven years of being a business owner was to be at this position right now, to be able to take a step back and still be able to, um, provide for my family, but also to be with my family and to be present. And so I really had to kind of give myself a little like, it's okay. A little pat on the back. Like, this is what you've worked so hard for. And so then I feel like, because I had prepped my brain for an entire year when I got pregnant, I was very ready and very excited to be pregnant. Still didn't know what that was gonna look like, but I feel like that's what business has taught me, is you never know what things are gonna look like. And so I've seen them be better than I could ever imagine before. So I really tried to channel, actually my business mind into this personal shift in my life.

Speaker B: That's great.

Speaker A: And, uh, I couldn't have done that without having such a supportive partner, such a supportive team, and also to have friends and family that are in it with you. Like, I really do feel very lucky. I feel like people really showed up for us, and the right people just showed up for us during this time. And it's amazing to have now being this time too. Like, if I was the first one to have a baby, that would have been really hard. But I have women like you. Right. Who have gone through this, and so I think that helped give me a little peace of mind. But I was panic stricken before and then kind of coached myself, I think, into it.

Speaker B: That's amazing. I felt like being a mother was something that was, uh, definite for me in my life, but it was always kind of in the distant future.

Speaker A: Totally.

Speaker B: And so when it happened, I just felt, like, kind of shocked. So I'm glad you had time to kind of mentally prepare for that. That seems really healthy.

Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I think there was definitely an element of shock, but almost it didn't feel real.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: Like, I remember when we. Yeah, yeah, I remember when we found out the gender, I was like, I didn't believe it. I was, well, one. Because I've had friends.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: Who have been told the wrong gender. But I also. Not. Not Katie. Uh, wink, wink.

Speaker B: No.

Speaker A: So I. But I didn't believe it. But all of those things of finding, for me, finding out the gender, like, going to the bigger ultrasounds where they were moving, like, did make things a little bit more real. Picking a name, like, all of that. But it truly did not feel real, I don't think. I mean, barely. Now it feels real. Yeah. It really is kind of a weird.

Speaker B: I think that's a common feeling, for sure. I really do. I really do. Okay. So when you're getting in this kind of prep mode, like, how did everyone react to the news? I know everyone at the salon was so excited Obviously, your family was so excited. But then how did that kind of excitement shift into, okay, we need to start planning for maternity leave? And, uh, yes, beyond, like, how did that transition for you?

Speaker A: I was so still. This was a piece that I was nervous about because I didn't know what that would look like. And I didn't actually make any major decisions right away other than when I knew the due date. The first thing I did was contact my clients. I was like, okay, well, obviously I'm not going to be here. Um, and I. That's one of the things is I book out really far in advance, which might be something I need to shift here. Going into this, this next year, it's like, I don't know, always what, you know, seven months out, it's gonna look like. So that's something I was talking with myself about this morning, so we'll see. But, um, the first thing was communicating with my clients. They were very excited. And I think because I have a salon that people trust the other people at the salon, they weren't so panic stricken. Whereas, let's say I was by myself. Like, where do these clients go? They have to go to a different location. They kind of already feel some level of comfort being in the salon. And also my clients, I have three people that have assisted me that work in the salon now. Uh, they kind of know certain people well. So I could kind of help to prepare my clients first and be like, okay, so you're gonna see. So and so for one appointment while I'm gone, it's all prepped and ready. Like, the second I knew the date, I literally started prepping clients. Like, this is when I'm gonna be gone. Well, once I started telling clients, I should say, but. So I started by having. I had a conversation with every single one of them in person and basically, like, took care of them. Like, they felt like, you got my back, you made sure I'm safe. And I'm only off for nine weeks. So some clients didn't even have to go while on maternity leave, but some did. Um, and so I feel really grateful because I have a great team that I know can take care of them. So thank the Lord Jesus Christ for that. Um, because there was a time which I wouldn't have had that.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Um, and then the team aspect of it, um, that was another thing, like having had assistance because I don't have them. Katie was my full time manager. We don't have a manager anymore. Um, but my assistants, aside from helping me with hair, they also help me with things like inventory, they help me, um, at the end of the day on Friday, they see if we need snacks, like little things, like, how are we doing on laundry detergent? All the little things that are just kind of like, maybe not that hard, but they're just an extra little added step. And it was nice because again, now I have had. I have three people that assisted me. They worked with me literally so closely for a year, so they really understand how I like things done. And so I wasn't sure what I was gonna do, but I kind of thought about it towards, you know, midway through pregnancy, and I thought, you know, who knows me better than these girls? So, I mean, they're young, they're itty bitty babies. But I was like, you know, they are loyal to me. They are really hardworking and they want to do right, you know, by the salon. And so I've kind of decided from there I was like, okay, my current assistant, you're going to do this? Um, Caitlyn, who's my assistant before that, she's been, you know, kind of tag teaming with her, which has been really nice.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Um, and they kind of know where they're weak and they know where they're strong. And so they've been working together and it's been a really nice dynamic. Um, and then I also just had to put things on pause. You know, I had to say, okay, we're not educating, so I can focus on getting the salon organized and structured and ready to go before I leave. So I had to give, give up, you know, some things, um, some big things during this, this period. Even, even sometimes focusing on maybe certain relationships. I had to kind of be like, all right, I got to take a, a tiny little hiatus from this because I, I need to just get everything set and ready. It, it, it does feel long when you're in it, but it really does go by so fast.

Speaker B: It goes quick. Yeah. And the priorities are already shifting pre birth, so.

Speaker A: Yeah, totally.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: Yes. So I really leaned on my team that was in the salon and still have fears right about, oh, my God, like, what's gonna happen is this. You know, it's terrifying. It really is. But you. It's a good lesson in release. It's a good lesson in release.

Speaker B: Delegation.

Speaker A: Yes. Yes.

Speaker B: Um, okay. And then were there any, uh, like, challenges than being pregnant, physically and emotionally being a hairstylist? I mean, you're on your feet all day from one.

Speaker A: I think that again, you kind of have to take things day by day. And I have another girl Daslon, who's pregnant right now with twins. And I keep telling her like hey, you know, just if you need to make an adjustment, if you need an assistant, if you need this xyz, whatever, like it's okay, like let me know. We're here to help you out. That's the benefit of working with a team. That's mhm, really nice. And because I had an assistant, another lesson in releasing control here. I was like okay fine, you will do all of the shampoos for me because why am I going to literally kill myself when I have another team member there to help me out? So biggest thing was that was amazing was I had an assistant during this time because she was like even just like some of the walking, like I was like okay, could you please go mix this bowl over there? Because like so I just think having that and was really helpful. But I mean, yeah, there were days, there were days the legs were hurting, the back was hurting towards yeah, you can't breathe, you're um, bloated, you're looking at yourself in a mirror all day and you're like oof. Like whoa Bertha. You know, I mean there definitely are and also too one of the biggest challenges in the beginning for me mentally was like okay, I was coming off of my wedding so I was feeling good. Okay, I was feeling, I was feeling good. I was feeling really in healthy and really good shape. And it was hard because I, when I go to work every day I want to, I want to look good, it makes me feel good. And it was actually really challenging until I actually had a full on bump. It was really challenging every day to kind of get ready because you're like, like this doesn't fit, that doesn't fit. I'm uncomfortable. You want to be comfortable in that.

Speaker B: Like yeah, um, nothing really feels comfortable either.

Speaker A: Nothing felt comfortable. And so I feel like there were some days that were definitely challenging to just feel like you're put together and like you're ready and like you feel good. And then it definitely got better for me once I got bumps because it was like okay, like literally like I'm clearly pregnant right now.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: Um, but that kind of mid part in there was honestly.

Speaker B: Yeah, no, I know it is weird

Speaker A: cuz there's no control and that's also an issue.

Speaker B: I, you know, like I feel like with Asta, my first it was the time where it was like fall so I could wear big sweaters.

Speaker A: Oh yes.

Speaker B: Maybe the time you get pregnant kind of dictates some of that.

Speaker A: But that was A little more helpful

Speaker B: instead of hot, hot summer when it's like, yeah, I just have to be who I am in this, you know?

Speaker A: Yes. Yes. So, I mean, I think that that's natural and, you know, to have those. Those things. And you're shifting a lot already. You're shifting the way that you move your body. You're shifting the way you dress your body.

Speaker B: Um, and it's so many changes so rapidly in yourself.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: And this is where I think some of that identity shift starts happening is totally you. Like you said, you don't mentally feel like that's your body. Yes.

Speaker A: Oh. And the energy piece of it. Okay. When you're used to, like, having all of this energy and then you don't. In the first trimester, I've literally, like, forgot about the first trimester at this point. So much has happened. But, like, when I think back to that, it's like in the mornings, I'm like, I'm so tired, and I'm so, uh, you know, nauseous and all the things. And so you're kind of like, it's just really hard. But it also. It's like every single thing. Like, that was literally a lesson. Like, you're like, okay, well, what can I do today? And what can't I do today? This is just how it is. You have to be respectful to your body. You have to listen to your body. If there's days you just need to sit and stretch or whatever, you just got to do that. So. Right. Yeah. It was wild.

Speaker B: Yeah. Did you have a specific birth plan going in? Like, and how did your kind of entrepreneurial mindset kind of factor into that? Like, did you have a set idea what you were going to do?

Speaker A: Okay, I will say the birth part was probably the part that I was most anxious about, because there was no plan around it. And I'm used to being able to plan. Um, I mean, God did his work. I did eventually have a plan around my. My, uh, birth plan. But, um, that was. Everybody just kept telling me that you treat it like the hardest workout of your life. And I was like, okay, we're just gonna go into it. So I had fully thought I was gonna have, I mean, like, a vaginal birth. And that was all I really thought about the whole entire time. I never even thought about a C section, honestly, and I don't even know why. And then when I went in and they told me that he was breached, and they were like, well, we would recommend scheduling a C section. M. They're like, how do you feel about that. And I really didn't have too much of a plan, so I was kind of like, the business mindset of me goes, okay, this is the reality. What can we do? What's the next step? Uh, like, that's kind of where my head goes. So I was like, okay. So at first I was, like, a little bit indifferent. I was like, okay, cool. This is just the facts.

Speaker B: Y.

Speaker A: And we'll see what happens from here.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker A: But then I will be honest with you guys. Okay? So once I. Okay. But we found out it was a C section, and I literally. My head went, okay, it's a C section. Done. And I was terrified he was gonna flip because I was like, it's not gonna be a C section then. And then it's gonna be different than what I thought. So actually, in my head, I was like, is this wrong of me? Because everybody's like, oh, I feel so bad. He's breached. And I'm like, nah, we good. I'm going in on the 23rd. 5:00am uh, baby prepping the body. Like, we're good. So actually, and a lot of my clients said this too. They were like, wow, that's just so perfect for your personality, Michelle. So I actually kind of appreciated it because I had, like, somewhat of an expectation. Obviously, we were super blessed. Everything went according to plan.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: Um, we had a healthy baby. Um, C section, you know, it was like, 30 minutes delayed. You know, Woo. Big problems there. Right. So I was like. It was very nice. But I'll tell you what I did not know about and what I did not expect was the after. Okay. I loved the plan and the preparation and all that going into it. I had fantastic nurses. I had a wonderful anesthesiologist. They made me feel very comfortable.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: But what in actual Hades is, uh, what happens to your body after? Oh, my God. So they do the C section if you've never had one before. Okay, cool. You go and you have this surgery. I mean, you're just laying there flat on this bed. You can't feel the bottom of your.

Speaker B: And you are awake, right?

Speaker A: You're awake. Yes. So I was awake. I didn't have to get put under. And you honestly really can't feel that much. And in my mind, I'm like, this is go time, baby. Like, end result is a baby. Let's do it. So I don't really care what's going on. They have it covered up. I'm not looking. I'm like, we're good. And my husband was there with me. All of that. And so, you know, they put the baby on my chest, and then you're just laying there for, like, 40 minutes while they stitch you back up.

Speaker B: It's weird.

Speaker A: It's totally weird. But you're like, it's fine. My baby's right here.

Speaker B: Yep.

Speaker A: And then afterwards, you still can't really feel anything. So I'm like, all right, this isn't that bad.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker A: And then it sinks in, and you're like, okay, wow. Um, so, you know, you have a major surgery done for one, and then the bloatedness that you feel and the amount of gas and air that's inside of your body is far more uncomfortable than the incision.

Speaker B: Yes. Yes.

Speaker A: And you have, like, a.

Speaker B: Sorry, everybody.

Speaker A: There's a lot of information. It's like you have a cabinet in you and all this stuff, and then, like, they take it out, and you, like. Then you're having and more issues. You're like, what is going on?

Speaker B: Like, you know, so you're trying to go with the flow, but it just is. It is a really intense experience. It's uncomfortable.

Speaker A: And then you're like, you know, your. Your chest is swelling up, and you're just like. And so, anyways, we were in the hospital for. They said we could leave after two days, and we were like, actually three. We'll stay another night. Because we were. We didn't know what we were doing. We just had our first baby. The nurses were wonderful. I still in quite a bit of pain.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Um, and so I was like, you know what? Having this little bit of extra help because the last day they didn't have to come in is like, every 20 seconds to check on you. That's the other thing. Like, thank God they're there to check on you every, like, 20 minutes. But you're literally like, we're all just trying to sleep, so.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: I mean, but you are. I don't know if you had this. Did you have this where you had this, like, adrenaline rush for, like, a few days?

Speaker B: Immediate adrenaline rush, yes. So, yes, we went in and we did a, um. I had started doing a vaginal birth, and then she got stuck, and so we ended up doing a C section, but it was not, like, an emergency situation. So it was similar to you, where I was, like, awake and everything. And, yes, I felt two things. I felt like I had been run over with a semi in my middle, like a cartoon, literally. And then I got the adrenaline, too. Big kick.

Speaker A: Like, it was, um. It was really nice to have that because you just Kind of felt like a little bit like superwoman.

Speaker B: Yeah. You're just going. You're running on fumes, though, you know?

Speaker A: Yes. And then the crash, though, afterwards, when I finally came down from it, I thought I was sick. I was like, I think I have the flu. Like, something is wrong with me. And my husband's like, I think you might just need to sleep. Like, you literally haven't slept. I mean, you have this breathe, like, this new living being, so you're always just, like, trying to make sure they're okay.

Speaker B: Y.

Speaker A: And thank God, you know, you have that adrenaline rush. But you need your sleep, people.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: You need your sleep. Listen to what people say. Because I was, like, ill. Yeah.

Speaker B: We came back and both me and baby slept for 12 hours after the hospital experience, because I think we were just so. Exactly. Oh, my gosh. I remember telling me that, and we just totally crashed. And I think it was the same thing. It was like we were go, go, go. And then leave me alone. Yep.

Speaker A: Time to sleep.

Speaker B: Yep. And then we started getting more into our normal routine. But. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, then this is a little bit about bounce back, too. But then does being a business owner affect how quickly you felt pressured to, quote, bounce back, like, get back to it, you know?

Speaker A: Yes. Um, like, you said, when you feel like you kind of are losing your identity a little bit, like. Or you just have this identity shift, I should say, you are trying to find any little thing that makes you feel normal. Right. And I feel like me being a busy person and go, go, go, that makes me feel normal.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: And also, I want him to hopefully adapt to, like, our lifestyle, too.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Uh, but my husband had the first two weeks off with me, and I was like, oh, my God, when are we ever gonna have this time again? So we, like, we were, like, we were going. I mean, I couldn't walk. Right. Like, I couldn't walk. I couldn't get into the car. I couldn't drive myself. I was, like, you know, hoisting. But I still wanted to be, like. Because I had a summer baby, I still wanted to be, like, out in the world and just, like, feeling fresh air to help me mentally. And I do really think. For me, I do think it did help me mentally. Um, the hard part was. Yes. The mobility. The. Like, at night, like, sleeping in the recliner, you're so uncomfortable. Like, you just can't. Like, now I finally feel we're, you know, four weeks. I'm like, oh, my God. I can sit up pretty normal. I can walk really well. Like cuz even uh, in the night time it's like you're getting up to feed him and you're so uncomfortable to get even, even sit up that it's like, like, you know, so I do feel like I felt that pressure and just like even, just the pressure I think to bounce back like mentally but also like physically. And I think that I didn't quite understand like what my body was about to go through. And I definitely need to give myself a little bit more grace on the physical side of things because you just look at yourself in the mirror and again you're like, this isn't even me. Like who am I? Like, and there are days where it's super good and you're like cool, I just gave birth. Like this is normal. And then there are days where yeah, you're like, nothing fits me. And your hormones are literally like attacking you. Like, yeah, you know when you have like, you get your period. And I know darn well, like the rational side of me in my head's like this doesn't make sense that this irritates you. But you, it still irritates you. It's like that but like times a thousand. So you know, you just have to have like communication too with like your. Who like your, your partner or whoever's helping you out. Like, hey, like right now I am in this state where I am not feeling good about the way that I look. I'm not feeling good about the way that I, I feel guilty for this. I feel whatever. Like, and just, just vocalizing those emotions sometimes I think helps. And if they have to kind of be understanding, like I know that you're not purposely feeling this way, like you don't want to feel this way. So how can I help and support you? So listen up, listen up.

Speaker B: I remember bursting into tears because my aunt told me we were packing away some of my clothes and she said, oh, you're not going to fit into these, you know, for at least a year, another year from recovery. And I just burst into tears like, oh my God, I'm never going to wear my jeans again on the silly thing. But it is. Your body is just a different shape after. And yes it is. You know, it goes down and up and fluctuates. But yeah, it's just a whole different experience, I think.

Speaker A: Yeah, like you said, you just find comfort in insecurity, in the control probably aspect beforehand. And it really is a lesson in releasing a lot of control because it really isn't. And, and then you feel guilty because you're like, this isn't what matters. Like, what matters is my baby. And that is what matters. Of course.

Speaker B: Course.

Speaker A: But it's going to happen. You're going to have these feelings about whether it be your body or whether it be, like, the relationship. For me, I just wanted to feel good again. I broke out in this massive rash. So, like, that was the tipping point. I was like, I'm so uncomfortable. Like, I can barely walk. Like, and then this rash breaks out and I'm like, I'm itchy everywhere. And, like, you know. So I think you're at your breaking points, mentally and physically, and you're tired.

Speaker B: Ah, yes.

Speaker A: And your hormones are different. I mean, it's all natural, and everybody has different experiences. A friend just actually sent to me yesterday. This would be a really interesting thing. If you guys are listening to this and you are, um, you've had babies, I would love to know what, like, your most shocking postpartum thing was. Because a lot of them were saying, like, the night sweats or, like, the mastitis or, like, someone got, like, Bell's palsy. I was like, what? Oh, my gosh. So there's so many things. Everybody's journey is so different, and it's so different every pregnancy. So even going into your second one, it's like, just not even knowing. Like, you're like, I can't even have an expectation because I literally don't know what it's going to be.

Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know what it's going to be. Chasing a toddler and having to go through it. So I'm nervous about that for sure. Yeah. Okay, so a little bit more of the postpartum. Um. Um, just in general, how do you feel like your priorities or definitions of success have shifted through this time?

Speaker A: Wow.

Speaker B: These last four weeks. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker A: I was thinking about this a lot a couple days ago. It really. Yeah. Puts a lot into perspective. You're like, that doesn't matter. That literally doesn't matter. Like, this is the most fulfilling thing I've ever done in my entire life. And nothing matters more to me than him.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: And obviously my business and everything is what has gotten me to this point, and I'm so grateful for that. It does put a joy, a different level of fire under you, like, because you have a bigger purpose now. So. Yeah, right now, I think actually in this moment, I'm, like, having some of these, like, stirring feelings. Like yesterday, for instance, was I had a few interviews at the salon, so I'm still on maternity leave right now, but I had A few interviews, and I was really anxious. Like, I was like, oh, my God, I'm leaving him. And I totally trust, like, I'm leaving him with his grandma, and his grandma's amazing. Raised my husband, you know, so, uh, I'm totally comfortable in that. But. But it's just I've had these things this week. Like, putting him down for a nap feels, like, guilty. Like, why does that feel guilty? He's resting, but, like, you feel guilty or like, I was leaving him for the longest time yesterday, and I just felt like. I felt almost like. Or if someone helps me, like, like, oh, I'll help you sleep. Like, I feel like, no, like, I can do this. Like, I. I really did need this, like, lesson in learning how to accept help in that way, in a work way. I can. I feel like I can accept help very easily. Like, I've learned to delegate that. But in my personal life, that's still something I want to strive for, is, like, knowing that we were talking about this actually before the podcast started, but just knowing that, like, they want to help you, and that is so.

Speaker B: That's huge.

Speaker A: That's huge.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: And it's also going to be good for them to help you. So you just need to learn to, like, accept help. But I'm still working on that. And so I feel like having yesterday to kind of put me back into the salon to see how that felt a little bit was really good for me, because I don't even know, like, what the future. I mean, I know that I love what I do, and I love my business, and I love him, and there will be this balance of it all, but I have no clue what that's going to look like. I can see why moms, when they have a little bit of time to do something else that they're passionate about, I can see why it makes him a better mom, though.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: Like, I was so excited to come home and see him. And not that I wasn't excited every day for the last four weeks, but I. I went and I made a different kind of impact, and I did something that I loved, and I came home and I was like, oh, my God. And now I get to do this, too. Like, it was just. It was interesting. So I can. I'm excited to get back to work in the way that I love the creativity and I love what that does, but I just have to really make sure that I'm doing things that I want to do.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Like, this is now kind of my season. It's about what I want My work life to look like. And. Yeah, not as much, um, like pleasing others, I guess.

Speaker B: Yeah. I was gonna ask how you think the juggle is gonna go, but I feel like you've already, like, somewhat started to bring some pieces into work. I mean, you're not working, but you're kind of still there. Like, you're very present still. So.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: I think that is, like something that moms and working moms have. It's like almost like this next level unlock. Yeah. Productivity.

Speaker A: Yes. Well, that's the biggest thing is, I will say, like, when he. When I put him down for a nap a few days ago, which was like, the first time I put him down for a nap, I was like, oh. But I got so much done in that time frame because I knew I only had a short piece of time. And I remember listening to Jenna Kutcher actually, um, which, like, a few years ago, before I had kids, and she was talking about her transition from being an entrepreneur to then becoming a mom. And I remember her saying that she blocked off, like, it was like two to three days or something. And she had four hours to get everything done.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: And she did. And she's like, what? Used to take her eight hours, she can now get done in, like, a third of the time because she just is like, I'm gonna crank this out, be my best, 100% focused on my work through this moment right here, get it done so that I can go be with my family. And I really do feel like that was exactly how I felt during that nap. I was like, we are going to get this stuff done. Because I did have some work I still had to do. I do run a business. I can't fully take off. I've done marketing and payroll. That's all I've been really doing. And podcasting and communications, things like that.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: But much less than what I was doing before. But I do think it's been a great introduction for me to be like, okay, okay, so for these two hours, I'm gonna start doing some work. And even though I might feel a little bit weird about it at first, like, it'll get easier. And actually, after I left him yesterday, I was like, okay, he was fine. He was healthy. He got grandma time. It was okay. Like, it actually helped calm me. So I think maybe trying to dabble into back into work as much as you can, like, little tidbits, I think might be helpful for you.

Speaker B: Because it's been helpful for me, definitely. Um, just as of right now, like, what is your schedule going to be going back in the future.

Speaker A: Like, how are you gonna strict baddie about it? Yeah, I'm like, oh, I got my baby. Whereas before I was so flexible, like, because I could be. So I was like, yeah, I'll come in early, I'll say late, whatever. Um, so I'm actually gonna be taking clients three days a week. So Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, which is what I was doing before. Um, and then Mondays and Wednesdays are gonna be my work from home days. Um, however, those work from home days are going to be very strategic in I'm getting this done and this is what I'm doing, and it's going to be done in this amount of time because I do truly want to spend that time with him. So, um, in the beginning, obviously, he's. He's pretty good napper right now. That could change. So, yeah, thank the Lord Jesus Christ. Um, so he's. He's been pretty good at napping. Um, and so I feel like I can get stuff done. I'll obviously have to reassess as he changes, um, whether I need to, um, cut back a little bit in one area, add a little bit in another. Um, but my goal is to stay home with him two days a week and then obviously have the weekends fully off to be with my family. Yeah.

Speaker B: Ah. Do you have any advice for people who are thinking of starting a family, like, at this point?

Speaker A: Oh, man. I think it's hard to come out

Speaker B: of the trenches with advice, but.

Speaker A: No, but I. This is the coolest, coolest thing I've ever done. And yeah, before, if I. If I had had a glimpse of what this felt like before, I can't even. Like, I would have done it. Not that I would have done it 10 years ago because I wouldn't have had my husband and all those things, but it is just like, I could not imagine my life without this. And when I used to think, like, I think if you don't want to have kids, you shouldn't have kids. But, like, now I'm like, wait, maybe I need to convince them to have kids. Because it's literally like the. The best thing in the whole entire world.

Speaker B: I feel such a deepening of your soul, and it's such an act of, um, selflessness that a lot you just will not experience in another way. Like, I think it's just. Yeah. Letting go of that yourself for something bigger than you is really important.

Speaker A: Yes. I just am so, so happy and so grateful we like that we were able to have him. I literally. People say, you'll never remember your life. I literally. It's so hard for me to remember my life without him. It is so true what people say. And before that, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, my life before that was lit. It was great. You know, I loved my life before that. But God, man, now it is so, so special and so sweet and I'm just so grateful. So I would say have the babies with someone who you, uh, love.

Speaker B: I think that too. I feel like before I was chasing kind of a sense of purpose. Yes. And this gave me purpose in a really great way. And I think it was something I was really missing. There's been like, a few times too, like, having, um, you know, see on Instagram, like, oh, maybe the clingiest babies came to the parents that needed to know that they were important and stuff like that. And I feel like there's been so many little moments of that for me in my own journey where you just, just, there's something bigger going on and it's cool.

Speaker A: I love, I love that you said that because sometimes. And a lot of people have been sending me some really sweet, like, inspirational, um, a lot of Instagram reels and it's been so nice. Um.

Speaker B: Does it make you cry?

Speaker A: Well, yeah, I'm always like. But one of the things that my, um, friend Heidi said to me too, because it was after a night of, um, him not sleeping at all very much, and she's like, this will be the only time that he needs you like that. And I was like, you are so right. And then I also got sent another Instagram message last night, and it was just kind of the reminder of like, you know, they don't know a world without you and it everything to them. And last night it was like he, he actually had some. He had a long four hour stretch. Okay, baby. And but after that, he got up like a little bit sooner on the next one and I just grabbed him and I just sat in the recliner and I was like, I'm just going to hold you because I'm like, as much as I want to, like, set you back in your basset and go to sleep or whatever, like, he clearly in that moment, he just wanted to be loved. And like, it's like, whatever.

Speaker B: Like, I was just like, the world melts away.

Speaker A: Yeah. I was just like, who? I was like, I'm just going to sit here with you and I'm just going to look at you and we're just going to have this moment and you're just going to fall asleep. And we're gonna snuggle and, like, it does feel really, like, nice to be loved in that way. Um, and yeah, you just have to remember it is, like, a short period of time and they need you.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: So just be there for them however you think you can.

Speaker B: I know. I'm so excited for the rest of, you know, childhood and stuff like that too, because I feel like it makes you stop as well. And you think about your own life and your own parenting and stuff. In a weird way, you're like, uh, oh, at this age, this was happening. And like, yes, odd, like, realization of things too. So we'll have to keep everybody posted as we keep going.

Speaker A: Absolutely. I mean, I am just a few weeks in, but, man, I will say, so much has changed in such a good way.

Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna do a little bit of quick fire, rapid fire questions here. Um, do you have a baby item you can't live without right now?

Speaker A: Okay. One of the things that I thought might not get as used as much as it. As much as it does is our, um, Mom Cozy bottle washer.

Speaker B: Oh, nice.

Speaker A: Okay, so, yeah, so we're, you know, going through a lot of bottles right now, and I put it on my registry and I was like, okay, it's like a. It's like a one. It's not really a need. Whatever. We can just like, hand wash the bottles. Yeah.

Speaker B: Never again.

Speaker A: That thing is amazing. I am like, love it. So that's something that I really love. Um, and then you can just troubleshoot anything. So you know when their tummy hurts a little bit. Right. You gotta keep them upright. So my husband actually ordered this. We call it the poop chair. It's terrible, but you'll never talk about poop more in your life after you have a kid, by the way. So it's like this little wedge that he got from Amazon. It's kind of like a dockatot kind of, but, like, it's elevated and it has these like, barricades on the side. You can, like, strap your baby into it. And so when his stomach is upset, I can kinda like elevate him a little bit like that versus, like, laying him flat. Like, let's say I'm getting ready, I'm taking a shower. Shower or whatever. Yeah, I can like, put him in that and he's like, more comfortable as his stomach is trying to digest. So smart. I. I just feel like there's so many little things, like, before you have the baby, you don't really know what you're gonna Need. You don't really know what you're gonna want. And afterwards you're like, wait, overnight Amazon, best thing in the entire world. Yes. I have spent so much money the first Bali, four nights. Because you're like, panic. Like, I didn't even feel good. So you just like, order all this crap on Amazon.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Because you're like, okay, I didn't realize I was gonna want this. I didn't realize I should try this. And so, yeah, those are two things that I'm like, wait, I love this.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Good to know.

Speaker B: Have you had a most, like, unexpected mom moment?

Speaker A: You know, the unexpected mom moment for me is really. Because I was so work focused before. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go back to work. It's gonna be like, no big deal. It really is the, like, reality of leaving him with somebody else.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Like, that is harder for me than I ever thought it would be. And my sisters, two of them are stay at home moms. And, um, one of them, that's kind of how she started her journey. She. She had kids younger. She stayed home and, uh, she's like, oh, my God, I could never imagine, Like, I could never, you know, and I was like, oh, I was like, I'm getting a nanny, like 10 out of 10. Like, peace out, Girl scout. Uh, you know, that was like my attitude tattooed before. And I still will do that. That will be, I think, what's right for my family. But I'm like, ooh, the reality. That's really much more intense than I ever thought it would be.

Speaker B: Yeah, I felt that big time too.

Speaker A: I remember because we were talking about it like you were fully like, yeah, we're gonna be working, baby. And then it was like, on second thought.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Yep.

Speaker B: Okay. Favorite self care ritual right now.

Speaker A: Okay. My favorite self care ritual is I have. Have one of those, um, red light, like, kind of gouache face things. And I think because you feel so inflamed everywhere else, being able to release a little bit of that inflammation even just in your face just feels like so relaxing. And it's like a little moment. I put a mask on. Um, just real quick in my skincare, I like throw a little hydrating mask on and I just do that. And it just. It's like this little Zen moment for me. And so that's kind of been my favorite little self care.

Speaker B: I love that. Okay, dream day off. Baby or no baby, what would you do?

Speaker A: Oh, my God, throw up. Um, okay. I didn't want to go for like a walk without him at this point. So right now, my dream day off is a day with my husband and me and my baby, and we are outside on a beautiful day going for a walk. That is literally my dream day.

Speaker B: That's the dream. That is the dream. Um, is your baby showing signs of being a stylist in training?

Speaker A: Oh, I mean, he got some long fingers. He's got some long fingers. I mean, he was born with a full head of hair. God bless. Um, so that was really nice. I mean, I definitely think he'll work. I. I'm feeling like he's giving entrepreneur, like, I'm giving, you know, a little bit of. It'll be interesting with me being more on, um, the entrepreneurial side. Um, going to a trade school and then my husband doing, you know, the college route and then having more of, like, that corporate sort of job. Um, it'll be really interesting to see what route he goes. We were talking about, you know, starting investments for him and whatnot.

Speaker B: Yep.

Speaker A: And, um, I was like, well, what if he doesn't go to college? Like, I don't want money that can only be used for college. What if he doesn't want to go to college?

Speaker B: Like, you know, something different.

Speaker A: Yeah. So there. It's a really interesting thought because you just literally have no idea who they're gonna become. Yeah.

Speaker B: It'll be exciting to see.

Speaker A: It sure will be. So, I don't know. I mean, I'm hoping to get him on payroll as soon as possible. So if his first words, which I'm holding him now, feeding him a bottle. Everybody, quick little break there. Um, if it could be. Hi, welcome to Ellen Co. How can I help you? Do you listen to that? Do you hear that, mister? Yes. Yeah. That's going to be your first word. We're going to get you on payroll.

Speaker B: I love it. Okay, last question to kind of round it out. Okay. Biggest lesson motherhood has taught you so far.

Speaker A: I think the biggest lesson motherhood has taught me is to be selfless and to ask and receive help. I think those are things that, um, I can do really well in my business life, but really transferring those over to my personal life has been, um, just something that's been a shift. I mean, I'm great at having conversations, I think, like, hard conversations or, um, in. In those sort of ways. But I mean, even just allowing, like, your family, like, like we said before, like, knowing that, like, they want to help you and your friends want to help you and all that, like, receiving meals, like, it's almost like, especially not having Parents growing up, it's a little bit like, wait, hold on. Like, I mean, I had them growing up, but you know what I mean? Losing them young, you're kind of like, wait, what is this? And so I think we've been showered with just so much love and so much help, even from the nurses in the hospital, to people, you know, helping me while I was pregnant. Right. Like my assistant in the salon. Oh, excuse you. He's so dang cute. Everybody, we're gonna wrap this episode up. Time to snuggle.

Speaker B: Well, yes. Okay. So thank you for being so vulnerable about this, and I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy to be here. We're doing it with you, and pretty soon, round two.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: And yes. If you're a mom out there, hit us up. We love to hear your stories, too.

Speaker A: Absolutely. Well, at the end of every episode, everybody, we do ask me anything, where I let my listeners literally ask me anything, and nothing's off limits. Isn't that right, Cuban boy? So the question today is, if your baby could talk right now, what do you think he'd say to you? Uh, Dempsey, what would you say to me if. If, uh, you could talk right now? I think he'd say, well, Mom, I think you're doing a great job, and you're pretty cool, and I really love the windows inside of your house. Just kidding. I think. I think he'd be really happy. He has the most peaceful presence and the most peaceful soul, and I think he'd be really just joyful. All right, guys, well, thank you so much for your questions. If you want to submit a question of your own, you can click the Ask M me Anything link in the description of this podcast. And as always, if this podcast helped or inspired you, me and Mr. Dempsey here would like to tell you that we'd be so grateful if you would rate and review this episode. Send it to a friend, share to your social media. Okay, xoxo. Bye. Fingertips I can feel of the hour Breathing I can take it on my lips Running out the sky.