Why Know, Like, and Trust Isn’t Enough

Speaker A: Hey, everyone, and welcome to Stories Build Businesses, the show that proves that your story isn't just something to tell, it's a strategy to build. From here, we think deeply, we care hard, and we explore how your stories and lived experiences are the key to building a business that's uncopyable, unforgettable, and unmistakably you. I'm, um, your host, Megan Wright, story and strategy coach and founder of Stories for Businesses. And I'm very excited because today I'm joined by Jenny Hardaker. Uh, Jenny, thank you so much for joining me.

Speaker B: Thank you so much for having me. And hello, everybody.

Speaker A: So, Jenny, would you like to kick us off just by explaining a little bit about what you do?

Speaker B: Yes, of course. So I'm a creative wellness expert, and what I do, I help entrepreneurs take rest through creative and mindful pauses.

Speaker A: I love that. So, as me and Jenny have had a lot of conversations, and one of the things we really bonded over was that both of us come from that place of care, being a really essential part of business. So for me, obviously, it's the first step in my Care Connect, Create framework. So I'd love to know what is it that made you really recognize that care has to be such an important part of business?

Speaker B: So, for me, it came at, uh, a place where I was giving myself no care, and I was giving it to everybody else but myself. So. Came from a place of pain, really, as these things usually do. When you're on a mission and you've driven by a purpose, it's usually because you've been that person in that place. So for me, I was in a coercive, controlled relationship back in lockdown. Um, I decided to flee that relationship. And when I did, and I went back to my mum's, I'd lost all sense of me.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So it came from a place of pain, for sure. But the best moment was, and I can still feel it now was a day when I just didn't know how to move forward anymore. And I just looked over to the desk and in my mum's spare room, and she had just a little pot with some paints in for the grandkids and some paintbrushes. When I looked at the paints, I had no bad memories attached to it. So I started thinking, oh, uh, that. I remember that used to be really fun. So I picked up the paints and I just started doodling. And the voices in my mind, the. Oh, you shouldn't have left that relationship. Where you gonna go from here? You're a loser. Who are you? They Just quieten down. I couldn't hear a single negative thought. I was in that moment. I was painting and I was finding pieces of me. And through that moment of pull, pause, it gave me just the clear mind that I needed to take that m one step forward. So the next day, it was easier to get out of bed, it was easier to get dressed. And day by day, that compounded over time to get me to where I am today.

Speaker A: I think you're right. Those quiet, still moments can really show you the truth of where you're at because they allow your mind to wander in a really safe way. But I also loved what you said about once you'd done that, once things started to get easier. And I think it's so true, because when I was working in mental health, one of the tools that we used was all about the fact that if you're feeling low, starting to get moving is the hardest thing. Whereas once you've started moving, you've got a little bit of momentum behind you. And so we would always encourage people to try and find that one thing that would allow them to take even a small step forward. And sometimes when people are in that place of feeling low, it's really hard to even think of what brings you joy. And what you did is such a perfect example of what we would always say, which was think of something that used to bring you joy. Because actually, if it brought you joy, it in the past, there's every chance it will still bring you joy.

Speaker B: Yeah, I love that. I love that. It's so true. And the hardest step is taking a step forward to do it. Because in that current state, your body is trying to protect you from any more stress, any more damage, and it's even more difficult to move. I often refer to, like, you're trying to go on a run or something and someone's got a rope around you and they're pulling you back. I feel like your body and your mind tries to do that, and it is the hardest thing step. But once you start and you start feeling a little bit of an improvement, that's when the magic happens. But it is definitely the hardest, hardest step. I totally agree.

Speaker A: No, it definitely is. And I love that you're bringing your lived experience of having that moment of finding that thing that brought you joy not only into your own business, but you're also now sharing that message with other business owners that caring for yourself is so important in order to have a sustainable business. I talk about the importance of care within business, but you take a really specific stance on it, which is that it's not just care, but it's creative care. So I'd love to know, is it that kind of made you connect those dots and not only was care good for you, but that you could see that it would benefit business owners?

Speaker B: So for me, it's one of the quickest, rapidest ways to quieten the mind without too much effort. And I say things like coloring in, because it is literally as simple as that. It doesn't have to be anything like we're going to paint a big picture today, although that's really fun. And we do do that too. But it's the little things that incorporate the movement. And then as well, it unlocks your creativity because you go into sort of like a dreamy state, especially when you're seeing the movement of the pen or brush on the paper, you're seeing the colors, you're getting imagery in your mind, connections to what that means to you, or if you've got a feeling towards that color. So it really does become this whole experience that fully immerses you in this moment.

Speaker A: Well, it's that classic pink elephant thing, isn't it, that if we try not to think of something, we try not to think of all the things on our to do list, all of the things we're worried about, then all that we're doing is thinking about those things. It's impossible. Whereas if we replace those thoughts by focusing our mind and our mental energy onto something safe and harming, then we replace those thoughts rather than spending all of our energy just trying to keep them out of our mind.

Speaker B: Exactly that.

Speaker A: And what I love is, so for me, the create part of my framework is all about building things, creating things. And because at heart, I'm a bit of a creative person, like, I love arts and crafts. Um, mainly you can tell by all the, like, half inch projects. In my house, there's a scarf I've been working on for like, eight years. It's never gonna be a scarf. I think that creating in business can sometimes feel a bit routine, or we get into these habits where we're just churning things out. Particularly now with AI being such a big part of the world, it's very easy to create a lot of things without being creative. And I think it's really important that that creative comes back into what we're creating. So how does harming mindfulness help you to unlock other aspects of your creativity that you can then use in a

Speaker B: business context the best thing? So as business owners, we are obviously creatives, otherwise we Wouldn't be doing what we're doing, coming up with ideas. Oh, I've got this business idea. I'm going to do this with it. And everyone else thinks, you're absolutely bonker, cousin. You're like, no, I'm not. I know. I can see the vision, I can see the future. I'm going to do this. So being creative is truly who we are. It's our heart. And often it becomes mundane. Like you say, you get into routine, or I'll just do this today, this today, this today. And we often lose our creativity. So the best thing is your creativity comes alive when you are resting, when you are being mindful, when your mind is wandering. That's when you. You start getting these ideas pinging in your mind because you're not using and overusing all your thinking part your brain.

Speaker A: You're right. Turning off that really analytical part of your brain could sometimes help. But I. What you said just then about perhaps people might think you're a little bit bonkers. How do you override that? Because I think that is something that keeps people stuck. Is being more creative. Putting things out that are, uh, more unique does make them a little bit more vulnerable in terms of people's opinions.

Speaker B: Now, it's not easy. It's definitely not easy. And you will still get naturally the thoughts and the feelings before putting yourself out there, before doing the thing, because it's scary. I had one yesterday. You look very tired. And I was not feeling great yesterday. And I read the message and I thought, thank you very much. And my emotions got to me for about a couple of minutes. I was like, I'm going to write something back. But then what I did, I just ended up putting on some music. I drifted my mind away from it and I had a little dance, if I'm honest, had a little dance, got changed my state, made sure that I was remembering, you know, hey, I do this because I like to have fun and it's not about this person. So it's just, I guess it's just coming back to yourself really, in whatever way that is for you.

Speaker A: You're right. It can, it can be a challenge to, like you said, if you've had a hard day and a comment comes in just at the time when you're already not feeling your best, it can be a real challenge. And I think a lot of the work I do is about helping people find their individuality. That like, unique combination that makes them them from their stories and their strengths and all of that and being unique in business. I think, particularly in 2026, it's no longer an optional thing, it's essential. But it means that you have to step into putting yourself forward, allowing people to see who you really are.

Speaker B: And it's not easy. I think often we can go in ourselves and we can forget the reason why we're doing it in the first place.

Speaker A: And from what I know, you've always been a, uh, slightly creative person in terms of your past careers as well. What have you learned or what skills have you brought with you into the online business world?

Speaker B: Yeah, so I started acting when I was in primary school, so I didn't do it professionally till I was 17. But what I learned from that is really understanding people. And in acting, you do something called listen, feel, react. And I think that's such an important skill set in life, not just in business, to really just listen and help people feel heard and then respond in accordance to that. And also it helped with being on camera. But I will say being on camera as you is completely different to being on camera as a character, because it's you, you're bearing it all. So I had to get comfortable with that. But I guess that was something that being comfortable in front of the camera really helped with just putting myself out there.

Speaker A: Yeah, I worked with quite a few young people who did acting, or they were in drama clubs and things like that, and they were some of the most socially anxious children. But they'd always say exactly what you said. It's less scary being someone else because I'm not being me on stage. It's easier because they're not looking at me, they're looking at the character. And it always blew my mind because it was such a contrast to how I felt about acting and performance. It was someone who opted out of drama the second I could. But yet, if you ask me to speak on stage as myself, I'm absolutely fine with it. But there was something about playing a role that I just couldn't do. It made me more awkward and more anxious than just talking as myself. So I wonder, do you feel like there is this temptation maybe for people when they start being on camera for social media, if they're not feeling as confident to maybe put on a bit of a character for kind of a bit of a protection?

Speaker B: Oh, without a doubt. I mean, I've done it myself. Especially in the early days. I was always trying to pretend to be the expert at, uh, a part of my journey where I didn't need to pretend to be an expert, I needed to be me to show Other people who are starting out that it's okay to make these mistakes and it's okay to. To feel this way. So when I really leaned into that, that's when things got better. But it is something that I think we do because we don't want to be judged. So I think it's a defense. And it was when we can get really comfortable with ourselves, when that is the magic. Because people you'll find connect more to you than that version of you that's not real.

Speaker A: It's that thing of either wanting to seem larger than life, because sometimes that's what it feels like the Internet requires of you. Do you need to be this big personality? Or it's that, like you said, that professional, like, I've got it all together and I know everything. And you're like, it's just not true. Um, so I think people are tempted to put on those masks or protective layers when they're going online. And I think it does do them a disservice, because when you're doing that, when you're putting on those masks, the mental gymnastics you need to do that is exhausting. Like, you can't sustain that. You can't continue to show up as someone that you're not, because eventually you'll either burn out or people will start to recognize that it's not quite who you are. And I think online there's a lot of talk about authenticity. That's like a real. Like, be authentic, be authentic. But I think so often when people aren't, um, 100% being themselves, it's not through kind of a deceptive, not wanting to be themselves. It's that protective, wanting to keep themselves safe, wanting to do what they think is expected, what they need to do to be successful. And it's not a conscious decision, I think, for most people. And so when it's talked about, like, it's this. This switch of, like, oh, I'm just going to be fully authentic now. Like, it just. It doesn't work because it's not. It's not instant. It's something you have to feel comfortable and safe to do. And part of that is, like you said, the inner work, but I think part of it is also the online business space as a whole. Making more room for people who are doing things differently, making more room for people who are, uh, maybe a little bit quieter or more introspective, people who want to say things in a different way.

Speaker B: What really stands out in the crowd is the person who is different, the person that it always has Been like that. The person that is the one that is going against the grain and it can be very hard to do for sure, but you will always have people that are, uh, your people, people that are exactly like you, who feel like you, who think like you, who, who need to see more versions of them so that they feel comfortable.

Speaker A: And how did you, how did you find that entering the online world? Did you feel like that uniqueness and authenticity you were bringing was embr?

Speaker B: I think the toughest time is when you haven't got the community around you and you are just starting out. I think that's when it's really important to turn to your partner, to turn to your friends, to turn to people who know you and love what you're doing in life, your mum, your dad and whoever that is to you and say, look, uh, I've had this comment and get their honest opinion. You know, I would get the people that loved me and would watch me and support me and then, then I would get the people that would not be so nice to me as well. I guess it's all a learning curve for sure. But just do your things, create a community. They are your support. So when people would come in and comment, eventually they started showing up for me. Hey, leave our Jen alone. And hey, look, she drops paint, it's fine. And hey, I like her eye makeup. When that support came in, that was the best time.

Speaker A: And you mentioned your eye makeup and that's something I always notice on your videos, is a kind of a consistent trademark gen moment. So I would love to know what inspired it.

Speaker B: I'm quite a fun, playful person. I don't tend to take life too seriously and I wanted my visual look to give that off so that when you see me and I'm, um, on mute, you can see m. She's fun, she's bright, she's colourful. And it also takes me back to that place where I wasn't allowed to wear colour. I wasn't allowed to wear any colour on my face or my clothes. And it's sort of like, I guess a two fingers up to that as well. Hey, I've got my colour on now. Not stopping me. That's, uh, what it's all about, reclaiming me and what my personality is about. And because color to me is fun and playful and I always want to give that off in some way. Even when I'm doing serious things, you know, there's always going to be an element of fun and play with what I do. So if I can even do it with My eye makeup then perfect.

Speaker A: And, um. Was there anything that really surprised you when you were rediscovering who you were?

Speaker B: Uh, gosh, there's so many things. Like, I remember a couple of weeks after leaving the relationship, one thing I wasn't allowed to do was sing. And I started singing, and it felt like an alien was coming out my body. It felt uncomfortable. It didn't feel right. And for me to have been in that place where even singing wasn't something I was comfortable with, it made me realize that I wanted to be me again. I, uh, uh, I wanted to rediscover who I was. Just didn't know who I was anymore. I. I didn't realize what I was capable of. I always believed that I was stupid and that I was not. Nothing special, really, to put it bluntly. And when I started getting myself back, I moved and, um, worked in the film industry, working in locations. And that really took a lot of drive and a lot of determination to going from a place where, hey, I wouldn't even dare say boo to a goose to, hey, you can't put that there. It made me realize that, hey, I've got this tiger inside of me that was just bursting to come out and that I wasn't this weak woman that was just made to help other people and not really help herself.

Speaker A: It's amazing the things that, uh, other people can somehow hide from us about ourselves, that we forget that there are aspects of ourselves that we can do more, that we can be more. It's almost like other people's assumptions about you and other people's beliefs about you get put on you so often and so strongly that it becomes fact that we believe it about ourselves. And it takes, like you said, stepping into a new environment and seeing yourself through new eyes. I, um, think coming into business, that's something I've really noticed, is it is an opportunity to see yourself with fresh eyes, for other people to see you in a new way. And it can feel very freeing. So although it does have that vulnerability that we spoke about earlier, it's also freeing to be like, there are no expectations on me other than those that I set for myself.

Speaker B: It is exactly that. It's free. You get to decide. You get to decide what your content looks like. You get to decide who you work with. You get to decide what it is that you're going to put out there so people can work with you. I think when it comes from that place, you deliver your best, your best work, and it's that it's the Purpose, it's the passion, it's the drive that you have because you know what you're doing is so much greater than just a paycheck at the end of the week. You're helping people. So it is freeing. And gosh, you got me excited talking about that then, Megan.

Speaker A: It's that combination that actually freedom is what allows play. Like if we're not free, if we don't have the headspace, if we don't have the permission to play, if we're boxed in by rules or other people's ideas, you cannot play, you can't play, you can't be creative. And I think that was the biggest shift for me is going from working in a, uh, nine to five where anytime I had an idea, had to say to somebody, oh, I've had this idea, what do you think? Whereas now if I have an idea, I get to do it if I want to. And that for me has been phenomenal. The fact that I get to make that decision. No one else gets to decide which ideas that I action, which ideas have value because I get to decide. And there's something so empowering and um, powerful about saying, do you know what I get to play? And I'm choosing that, that I'm not going to allow myself to get boxed in. And I think there is a freedom to being self employed. And a lot of people think that that seems like, oh, you get to travel and you get to do X. But to me it's the freedom of ideas and the freedom to play and um, be creative.

Speaker B: I love what you said. I feel you put that absolutely perfectly.

Speaker A: Well, speaking of putting things perfectly, I didn't pre warn you about this, but what I like to do as I'm wrapping up every episode is gift somebody a word. So I think back through the whole of conversation and there's always one word that pops out at me that I feel encapsulates everything we've chatted about. And the word that kept popping up for us while we were chatting was voice. All about not only finding your voice, but using it. And I think for me, obviously you spoke about like singing and how like that was such a pivotal moment, but also finding your voice when you were on set and talking to the crew, but also finding your voice online and sharing that with people. So for me, that was what kept coming up with this idea that finding our voice and using it in business and in life is such an incredible thing to do and can be really transformative.

Speaker B: That's so powerful in terms of how we do it. And it's also a massive reminder to keep on using our voices, especially when it's the hardest times and we feel like we can't. They're the times we must to move forward and to really come back to ourselves. I love that. That was a beautiful surprise.

Speaker A: Oh, I'm so glad. Well, thank you so much, Jenny, for joining me today. And thank you everyone for listening to Stories Built Businesses. If today's episode resonated, please share it with somebody else who needs to hear all about using their voice. And let me know over on Instagram oriesbuildbusinesses. Remember, your story matters more than you think, and the way you build gets to feel good. See you next time. Bye.