Mindset - Rebuilding Yourself with Harry Purdy

1 - > Harry Purdy, welcome to Stay Hungry Podcast. 2 - > Hello, mate. 3 - > Thank you very much for having me. 4 - > I do really appreciate you having me on your show and I love the set up.

5 - > Thanks. 6 - > Yeah, it's getting an upgrade soon. 7 - > I've had spoilers already. 8 - > Have you?

9 - > Yeah, spoilers. 10 - > The boys said- They shouldn't be fucking giving spoilers. 11 - > One of them's resigned. 12 - > Yeah.

13 - > He's dropping the little spoilers in before he goes. 14 - > It's gonna be really good, but I'm leaving. 15 - > Well, fuck off. 16 - > Yeah, see you then.

17 - > No, no, he's a good lad. 18 - > He's moving in with his girlfriend and his girlfriend doesn't live here, so. 19 - > Such is life. 20 - > Such is life.

21 - > Right, for the uninitiated, tell us who you are. 22 - > I'm Harry Purdy, going outside of all of the formalities. 23 - > Just a normal lad, really, but life changed in 2018 into the area of why I'm probably sat here 24 - > on your podcast now. 25 - > It's weird, isn't it, when you go outside of the whole titles, like who is Harry Purdy?

26 - > A normal guy. 27 - > Yeah, a normal passion, a passion for self-development, for sport, for podcasting, for learning. 28 - > What's your go-to sports? 29 - > No one ever brings up sport, and I always gutted.

30 - > Oh, really? 31 - > Yeah, football's my thing. 32 - > Who's your team? 33 - > Chelsea, I'm a Chelsea boy.

34 - > Yeah, I did know that. 35 - > I was baiting you, really. 36 - > And then outside of that, cricket comes in real close as second. 37 - > Oh, really?

38 - > Yeah, I'm a bit of a traditionalist, you know. 39 - > Used to go in from primary school, when my granddad used to walk me back from primary school, 40 - > and I'd either be over the wreck if the weather was good, or sat with him watching the Test match 41 - > when it used to be on Channel 4. 42 - > Yeah, yeah. 43 - > And then he used to teach me how to hold a cricket bat and all those kinds of things, so yeah, yeah, yeah.

44 - > Yeah, my granddad loved the Test matches on Channel 4. 45 - > It's just the, I think it goes underrated in terms of the resilience and mental fortitude 46 - > that these guys have got to put in. 47 - > They're out there for hours. 48 - > People can't comprehend having to concentrate for five days.

49 - > No, and then people say it's boring, but the, I mean, it's an argument, isn't it? 50 - > It's like the F1 argument. 51 - > Like, you either love it or you hate it, and that's the same with Test match cricket. 52 - > Yeah, I think if you're a business owner, as a lot of the listeners are, 53 - > you've got to appreciate it, though.

54 - > Like, accounting's boring, but I appreciate it. 55 - > Yeah, for sure. 56 - > So, like- A forward defensive is boring, 57 - > but it's the bread and butter of how you ride through. 58 - > Staying in an inning in long-form cricket, yeah, exactly.

59 - > Yeah, and that's a bit of an analogy for business, really, that if you play in short-form cricket, 60 - > fuck it, I never thought you'd hear me say this, but if you're playing short-form cricket, 61 - > that's not going to be good for business because it's too risky. 62 - > Yeah, yeah. 63 - > You've got to play the long form of the game. 64 - > Absolutely.

65 - > You don't want to be a fly-by-night, like, flashing the pan. 66 - > And it goes, with regards to anything where you get good results, right, 67 - > it's not the flash-on-the-wall stuff that you show off, i.e., if I use my analogy, 68 - > tomorrow I get the opportunity to speak in front of you guys at the Unstoppable event.

69 - > Like, yeah, it's going to look cool on my social media, but it's not going to make me any money. 70 - > All of the- It's good social proof. 71 - > For sure. 72 - > It's good social proof.

73 - > If someone, like, sees you're in a sold-out theatre or a sold-out auditorium, 74 - > and you're on stage, front and centre, it's great marketing. 75 - > Yeah, that's true. 76 - > It's not a great product. 77 - > Yeah, right.

78 - > Nobody sees what comes into, I'm only talking about, 79 - > I'm not obviously going to go into it too much today, so I'm going to leave it as a spoiler. 80 - > I don't want to spoil it for you. 81 - > But I guess what I'm trying to say is, if I was to have an empty Instagram account 82 - > or an empty Facebook account and have not posted any content for three months 83 - > without warming anybody up, and then I'm like, right, 84 - > I'm an expert now, look at this. 85 - > Yeah, yeah, yeah.

86 - > Look at this. 87 - > I'm on stage. 88 - > People are going to go, that's cool, but- My family don't get it, 89 - > because they're not in business. 90 - > And so they'll be like, why do you post all this shit all the time?

91 - > Because I do post a lot of random shit, like cartoons and, right? 92 - > Because the people that get it will really get it. 93 - > And the people that don't, don't matter. 94 - > And it's not that they don't matter.

95 - > Of course they matter, but they don't matter to my business. 96 - > For sure, yeah. 97 - > That social proof, that resonance, that building trust, building relationships. 98 - > I'm relieved I've finally got someone on the podcast that likes football.

99 - > I've never had a chat about football on the podcast. 100 - > Oh, really? 101 - > Oh, we can do that, yeah. 102 - > No problem.

103 - > I mean, there's an argument that I don't like football because I support Shrewsbury Town, 104 - > but you've got to really like football to support a team like Shrewsbury. 105 - > For sure, yeah. 106 - > That's my argument. 107 - > Yeah, definitely.

108 - > You're from Yeovil, right? 109 - > Well, I was born and bred in the Southwest of England. 110 - > My family, Kennington, London. 111 - > So it was, I was born, first item of clothing, Chelsea shirt with cores on the front.

112 - > You know, that was the first thing I wore. 113 - > Oh, like the Rude Hullet kit. 114 - > Yeah, yeah, you got it. 115 - > And then, obviously, I say I don't have a choice, but grandma always says a story.

116 - > And my new, well, my girlfriend, I've been with her nine months now. 117 - > She's Polish and she's not sporty at all. 118 - > And she couldn't understand, like, every week, essentially, I'd be going up to Stamford Bridge 119 - > or going to an away game, and she can't understand why I'd just go to a city 120 - > in a day and back just for the football. 121 - > And then she met my- Are you a season ticket holder?

122 - > I'm a member at Chelsea. 123 - > Yeah, okay. 124 - > So you get to games when you can. 125 - > Yeah, I get to games, and I've got really good contacts 126 - > just through all of the years that I've been going through my dad, through mates.

127 - > And I'm really lucky, actually. 128 - > There's a good little network of us in the Yeovil area that are all Chelsea fans, 129 - > and we share tickets about them. 130 - > What are you, Yeovil? 131 - > Yeah.

132 - > She met my grandma for the first time, and football came up in the conversation, 133 - > and Miriam was like, I just don't get it. 134 - > And my grandma was like, well, here's the thing with Harry. 135 - > Most kids, their first words are mama or dada. 136 - > Harry's was Chelsea.

137 - > So, you know, it was kind of in the blood, as they say. 138 - > Yeah, yeah, yeah. 139 - > No, like, it's not dissimilar here. 140 - > There's a lot of Liverpool and Man City fans here.

141 - > My uncles, because they're the generation where Liverpool was successful in the past, not now. 142 - > So they all supported Liverpool. 143 - > But my dad's from Hull, and so his dad took him to Hull games 144 - > when he was a little kid, and then he moved here in his- 145 - > I guess. 146 - > Yeah.

147 - > Probably prior to them being called that, to be honest. 148 - > And then he moved here in his teens, and so he became a Shrewsbury fan, 149 - > because that was the local club. 150 - > And so I was raised, not as a Shrewsbury fan, like, I supported Premier League football as a kid, 151 - > because everyone did. 152 - > You wouldn't survive the playground.

153 - > But then when I had enough money to get a season ticket, I got a season ticket to Shrewsbury. 154 - > I've had one for eight years now. 155 - > Yeah, class. 156 - > And, like, it's been a fucking ride.

157 - > It's been- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure in those eight years, 158 - > they've probably come up against Yeoval, who obviously is well- 159 - > Yeah, yeah, we will have done. 160 - > So we were the long, until last season when we got relegated, 161 - > we were the longest serving team in League One. 162 - > Okay. 163 - > And with one of the lowest budgets.

164 - > Yeah, I mean, football is so brutal, right? 165 - > Especially outside. 166 - > In England, since 93, when the Premier League was created, it's just been, and I'm fortunate that just by chance, 167 - > out of all of the 300 teams that have played Football League or National League or Conference, as it was known, 168 - > Conference South, Conference North, my family were Chelsea. 169 - > So I've been fortunate to end up on the side of the TV rights have helped my club, 170 - > the Champions League has helped my club.

171 - > The Russian owner. 172 - > The Russian owner, I was getting there, has helped my club. 173 - > Clubs owned by a guy who used to sell vending machines locally. 174 - > That's insane.

175 - > And I honestly, I love football. 176 - > I love what football brings. 177 - > Sometimes there's an argument to say that it brings out the worst in people, 178 - > but also it brings out some of the best memories you'll ever have. 179 - > Yeah, so like, I wouldn't see my mates if it wasn't for football.

180 - > Yeah. 181 - > Because we go to the game together. 182 - > There's a group of four of us. 183 - > We go to the games together.

184 - > None of them are football hooligans. 185 - > They just love football. 186 - > We have a laugh. 187 - > Sometimes have a drink, sometimes don't.

188 - > Very much just like, this is how we all unwind. 189 - > Yeah. 190 - > And then we all love football. 191 - > So like we, we're like analysing the tactics.

192 - > Oh yeah, nice. 193 - > Looking at when the team's setting traps. 194 - > We're not the like, forwards! Sort of brigade, which 90% of the crowd are.

195 - > Of course, yeah. 196 - > They say what they see. 197 - > Right. 198 - > We've probably done football now.

199 - > I'm sure we'll come back. 200 - > So, you're the host of the 100% podcast. 201 - > Host of the 100% podcast, yeah. 202 - > You're a coach.

203 - > I am a coach. 204 - > Yeah, there we go. 205 - > Here's the titles coming out now. 206 - > Yeah, both fitness performance mindset, like kind of all moulded into one.

207 - > Yeah, definitely a multi-pronged approach with my coaching, for sure. 208 - > And you've had a hell of a transformation yourself. 209 - > So you touched on it before. 210 - > What happened in 2018?

211 - > Oh man, cutting a long story short, I got really big. 212 - > I was a big lad. 213 - > I... 214 - > You mean overweight?

215 - > Yeah, I was overweight. 216 - > I mean, I'm still a big lad, but I was morbidly obese. 217 - > Scott's a 23 stone. 218 - > And what was kind of scary about that time of my life was I didn't really know that that had happened.

219 - > It just, I know... 220 - > Crept up on you. 221 - > Yeah, it just crept up on me. 222 - > Yeah, and to the, to the stage where, if I think back now, my tempo was low.

223 - > My dad would kind of say, call me, like your shirt's not fitting you 224 - > as well as it did or whatever. 225 - > And I'd react really badly, you know, really quite emotional at the time. 226 - > But it wasn't anything to do with those things that made a change. 227 - > I was manager of a...

228 - > I went straight into football management as the football's already come back into the chat. 229 - > Yeah, like it. 230 - > From 18 to 19, I was a manager of a football club. 231 - > years old men's team management for seven years I did and one of those years we were actually quite successful and I stood for the start I would play a fair 232 - > bit and then because I was getting bigger and maybe a bit lazier I would not play as much came to 2018 so after I left college we've done a few years had 233 - > this season and we were quite successful got to a cup final and to cut a long story short throughout the season you're not scratching around for players but 234 - > some weeks you're pushing it fine yeah you got it and I'd stick the kit on and then obviously for a cup final there's none of that everybody's available of 235 - > course they are they want a shot at being in a team to get the glory which I mean why not like of course you do that in football that's what football is 236 - > about right it's about winning and like I guess for people who aren't into football when you when you talk about local teams and managing local teams and 237 - > local cup finals people take it really fucking serious oh and and I think this is something that there's a side story to this because I've played local 238 - > football at more football since I was a kid I did one year in rugby because I almost got edged into it you're better at rugby but I just didn't like rugby so 239 - > football was the thing but if the level that you're playing at is the best level that you're ever gonna play out there's no point comparing it to the Premier 240 - > League because the levels as you're even between me and like playing for Shrewsbury hang on the no no I'm just saying that's like a mid mid comparison 241 - > right is massive like well that's the thing is probably that's a false perception what you've just said isn't it that that's the midpoint between 242 - > Premier League and local football is Shrewsbury it probably is not it's probably like 25 well like a 75 exactly because that's how good professional 243 - > footballers are and then you get to the the likes of your elite players or you people the ones that people would know if they're not football fans mess 244 - > Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo it's actually it's unfathomable is unfathomable what they can do not just with a football but physically and how 245 - > they move how like how high they can jump reaction time yeah they are they are athletes and that's footballers now but yeah going back to the story is that 246 - > on that Cup final day it was a big thing my family were massively involved I had to make a decision between being a like non-playing member of the team and just 247 - > being the manager that day or picking myself over to over somebody who was fit and one thing I'll say about myself is I'm always quite fair when it comes 248 - > to coaching and management I knew on that day that there were lads there that were going to affect this performance way better than what I was so I took the 249 - > decision to be like well I'm not gonna play obviously I left some kind of like how's this situation come about I was never a bad footballer being humble about 250 - > it people yeah in the back of your head you're like if I was fit I'm better than some of these yeah exactly that yeah exactly that so the day comes around and 251 - > there's sort of mixed feelings of course with the whole I'm excited that my team that I've ran for all these years has got to this situation where we could 252 - > potentially win three trophies in a season but at the same time I'm I'm almost out of shot of the cameras right I'm I am the coach and people have given 253 - > me kudos as to what we've achieved but I'm still not playing and anybody will ever tell you who's played football and has had the fortune of growing up with 254 - > my dad watching football and seeing him being involved with local football to then the roles being reversed there's still no better feeling and having a 255 - > really good game of football like playing well and doing well in a team in in sport in front of your family or dad whatever it's like a don't know it's 256 - > just something that just sticks yeah so I remember I did quite well with my local team as a player I was a bit of a late bloomer I didn't quite sort of do 257 - > so great to start with and and I wasn't in the click and if you weren't in like my dad wasn't mates with the right dads and so I was a sub to start with and 258 - > I physically bloomed a bit quicker than everybody else and they were like shit we need to put him on the pitch and they started me a centre-back because it was 259 - > like big lad at the back yeah everyone then they're like oh he's quick let's move him to left back and then they're like oh he's really fucking quick let's 260 - > move him to left footed yeah yeah nice and then and then oh he's got a shot on him let's just let him do what he wants sort of thing and so 12 to 14 I went 261 - > from being like a no one to being one of the better players and then our club folded because it's quite it is even at young ages it's quite difficult to get 262 - > 11 players every Sunday in the pissing rain with parents that want to take you and stuff and I moved to another club and again you're not in the click you 263 - > got to do it all again but my mum I thought she didn't come to many games because she sort of was like a single parent a lot of the time when I was in 264 - > hospital and stuff and she came to this one game and we were playing it was minor league so I was 16 but there was 18 year olds on the pitch because once 265 - > you get to that age that it wasn't like an under 17s and under 18s you went to minor league which was like under 16s under 17s all in the same league 266 - > but I'm still holding my own and we had a throw in and I'm on the edge of the box and the guy threw the ball to me I chested it up in the air and bicycle 267 - > kicked it into the top corner never done it before never done it since and then and obviously my mum saw it and it was like amazing well I think we lost the 268 - > game 4-1 so it was by the by in the scheme of things but then 15 years later I've put on a lot of weight I'm unfit I'm sat on the sofa with mum watching 269 - > match of the day and I can't remember who I think it was Rooney's goal against Man City where he scored twice for a kick and we're all sat and there's some other 270 - > family in the room and mum turned to me went I remember when you did that that's the fucking that's the best moment of my life yeah I was like I've achieved some 271 - > cool shit but my mum saying that to me in front of family and friends it's like the best thing there's definitely a wider story there isn't it it's not 272 - > sometimes the razzmatazz of life or your holidays that bring back the best memories it's just sometimes the fact that somebody's done remembered or 273 - > a lot like mum used to like wind me up for exaggerating and stuff but she saw that happen and then without prompt referenced it 15 years later I was like 274 - > that's nice anyway I interrupted yeah no it's all good I enjoyed that and so essentially on that morning mixed feelings of excitement not a while or I 275 - > guess a bit of embarrassment self embarrassment I woke up at 6 6 30 in the morning had these these weird kind of emotions feelings and I was like right 276 - > it's changing yeah something's gonna happen so I was like fuck it I'm gonna go for a run I went for a run and I remember the route was like this is the 277 - > day after the day of a day day off yeah because I was obviously excited slash pissed off that I wasn't playing so I'd and actually 23 stone at this point yeah 278 - > oh yeah I was so going for because like with all due respect oh yeah run at 23 stone is a fight which is again this is how uneducated I was at the time I was 279 - > I thought at this point I could just go out and just be like go for a run but really quickly found out like I've got this up the road well yeah it was it was 280 - > yeah it was point two mile point two three miles I was like wow I can't I can't run a mile yeah and that was yeah without it wasn't a long story a short 281 - > story but in the shortest way possible that was the day I was like oh fuck me how was an Academy College footballer who's sporty loves football would do 282 - > anything to play in this Cup final got to a position where I can't even run around the block yeah and that and honestly that was that so I went on a 283 - > bit of a weight loss journey and of course when you're uneducated with these things it's difficult right you're getting slammed with the regular kind of 284 - > slim fast there's salads this couscous here I remember mum being trying to be really helpful when she realized that I was going through this phase of trying 285 - > to shift some weight and eventually I don't know if you've ever bit like been in a situation but I can remember like the foods that would be constantly 286 - > available for me to eat or like stuffed in to lunch boxes and stuff when I just started like working properly it would be like Muller light yogurts sat like 287 - > like salads couscous tuna all like warmly mixed together and eventually you're like fucking on this is shit yeah yeah cutting out calories and I'd drop a 288 - > stone maybe put it back on drop a stone put it back on I know I've been going through this for 17 years yeah where there was one year I lost four stone and 289 - > put five stone back on yeah it's it it's I mean there are obviously we don't need to go in into that right now but it is a minefield mate what and over the nine 290 - > years I say that my journey has been going on for the lessons and the changes that I've had to make with how I think about food how much I monitor what I'm 291 - > eating because when I found the the one main reason I guess that I changed the way I thought about food and learnt about the energy balance was when I 292 - > stumbled across James Smith yeah he's a big part of maybe inspiration not just with here's how you lose weight but how to how I wanted to impact the world as 293 - > well yeah he's very much diet minded and now he's obviously very much business minded I think he's just about to go into TRT as well isn't he but that's the 294 - > conversation for another day.

So it was kind of a couple years around that time where I did crack it essentially 295 - > using those words loosely. I went from 138 kg down to 105 and the story that I have for that is I used to work in a place after I left ASDA where there was scales, like aircraft parts scales. 296 - > So every day I could go in and keep an eye on it. Like a proper digital scale.

297 - > And it was amazing because not only do you get the kudos of the scales dropping whilst you're keeping an eye on what you're eating and obviously I was getting a little bit fitter, 298 - > I'd gone from not being able to run a mile, cracking off the 10k's and then eventually as I became part of Paul's world and starting to think a little bit bigger about the goals I'd set 299 - > myself, my first half marathon came about three years later or four years later. Again a long distance between the two in terms of time but still a gradual decrease of weight.

But this is 300 - > the thing that I guess was missing with the whole journey is it wasn't the weight loss necessarily. 301 - > I needed the weight loss for football and sporting purposes but I didn't realise how poor my mental health had got in that time as well. Which led to 302 - > a hell of a situation between the years of sort of 2019 and 2020. So that was where the journey started and then it evolved quite quickly as to I'm genuinely only dealing with 50% of my 303 - > problems right now and that's my physical health and now it's time to handle what's going on upstairs as well.

And what did that situation look like then? How did that transpire? 304 - > Oh man I was, it's funny isn't it, it's when you talk about these versions of yourself that you've met and like been before, you always, you tend to feel your body language change and I've just 305 - > felt that in myself. Yeah I saw the life sort of drop out of you.

But between, I was in a relationship I wasn't happy in, was definitely have had the tendencies of being a people pleaser and whenever 306 - > I say those words it's never about what the other person did to me at the time or anything like that it was just what I allowed to materialise within my life. And I think that level of responsibility 307 - > is something that comes to you later in life. For sure. It's like a maturity thing where you're like if I want change, it's me that's got to drive it.

If I want to be happy, it's me that's got to create 308 - > that. If I'm relying on someone else to make me happy, even by pleasing them, that's my responsibility. 309 - > Yeah yeah and they say like no good deed is ever selfless is it? And it's so true, even I have no problem, first time in my life Joel, and by the way it's not a disrespect but whenever I get asked for 310 - > money from a homeless person, I'm always cautious because I know...

Am I enabling them? Exactly, am I enabling them? But for the first time in my life the other day I got asked by a homeless person 311 - > outside of Gregg's in Yeovil for me to buy them a coffee and I was like like of course I'll buy you a coffee. Yeah.

Like absolutely no worries, give me two minutes mate, came out gave him a donut and a 312 - > coffee and was like have a good day. He asked for a coffee but I did it because I knew that I'd feel good if I did. Yeah but both of those things are okay. Of course yeah and but yeah I think it just 313 - > goes down into like when you know that you've got those people-pleasing traits in you and you're working on them, it's finding the balance between what you're doing that may be 314 - > unhealthy in terms of people-pleasing.

Are you doing it to just stem any form of ill feeling, negative feeling, lack of self-worth, even self-empathy at times. If you're putting your own unhappiness 315 - > and sadness to the side, which I was at the time, to try and fulfill this person that I was perceivably supposed to be like buoyant, confident, happy Harry all the time but mate under the surface 316 - > it was fucking gone. Like yeah intrusive thoughts like literally from the from if anybody whose listener has ever had intrusive thoughts they are like brutal.

Like the things that you can 317 - > make up about yourself or like to even an extent of like we've joked, well not joked but we were chatting about murder series earlier like what if you did and it would just go on and on and on in 318 - > your head and then it would be like things like questioning your own sexuality because you weren't part of, you weren't happy in your relationship. I should be happy right now but I'm not like what's 319 - > wrong with me? Like and I would just get stuck in this cycle like where and obviously that would affect other parts of my life like I'd even be playing cricket or football and have these moments 320 - > in the middle of matches where I just get like so caught in my own, yeah so caught in my own head and obviously at that time as well in 2020, 2021 I remember vividly mental health had started to 321 - > creep into the conversation quite a lot.

You need to make sure that people are okay and if you're not okay it's okay to not be okay and all of those kind of conversations and I was like shit I'm 322 - > falling into, I'm not falling into this trap but I'm one of these people, I've got anxiety, I've got these thoughts and then my head was like I'm gonna be depressed and then I'm gonna like and 323 - > then the the most, the worst thoughts that I would have would be, it wouldn't be that I wanted to kill myself, it would be you're going to, yeah it was like a and it was a trap, it was horrible and 324 - > obviously that leads to some emotion right because I didn't know how to deal with it so I'd have my emotional times, low days, I started to see a counsellor and one of the 325 - > one of the biggest memories from those sessions, she was incredible because she just allowed me to feel normal, like it wasn't a strange thing that I was going through, it was something that.

Which I 326 - > think is, it's important to say that's true as well. Yeah. That I think a lot of business owners like by nature we're highly strung. For sure.

So you, intrusive thoughts are a thing because 327 - > that's how you get shit done sometimes. Yeah, yeah. But it's knowing what's normal, what's not normal, when you've let it go too far, when you're not seeing things logically anymore, 328 - > when you're not able to be present in a situation whether it's dinner with a loved one, playing a football match, writing a letter, boiling the kettle. Yeah.

And yeah just really 329 - > important to say that if you're listening and you're like shit, maybe I'm not normal. No you absolutely are. Oh 100% yeah. And just a little side tangent, one of the first ever podcast 330 - > episodes I did with a guy called Ed who at the time ran a podcast called A Need to Read.

331 - > We spoke about how your brain works and the intrusive thoughts and he says what's incredible about our brains is how creative they can be. Yeah. And sometimes you can counteract 332 - > that negative thought with thinking about the situation as a cartoon and the way that he explained it to me which I don't know whether it's going to hit, I may butcher the story, but if you 333 - > can imagine yourself doing the thing that you are causing yourself some stress with and you switch it to a cartoon, you can quickly see how creative your brain is.

So actually what you're thinking 334 - > about right now probably isn't even a real, well it isn't a real thing like not, what is it 60,000 thoughts a day. Some of those thoughts you don't even think about but some of them if you latch 335 - > onto them, they'll stick there. But obviously there's ways you can manage them, things that helped me, obviously therapy, meditation, breath work, visualization of and then of course putting 336 - > my focus on not me, about my future which we can come on to further down.

But the story about the therapist was she was really good but I went into my one of my first therapy sessions in such a mess 337 - > mate that I barely said anything, you know what I mean, it was just a complete unload of emotion of what I'd been like trying to not show these feelings in front of people that I was in 338 - > relationships with or my parents because I didn't want them to see that I was in this kind of mess. 339 - > Especially if you're a people pleaser right? Yeah exactly.

Like you don't want to make other people sad. No, no exactly that yeah. And then she was like oh I want you to go to the GPs and tell them 340 - > like here's the medication that I want you to get put on to tell them that you've been referred to by like a psychotherapist blah blah and I was like no I don't want to do that and I know that 341 - > was probably like maybe naive or or brave but just there was something within me. I call it my dad's stubbornness like that was what was in me it was like I'm going to sort the shit out myself I don't 342 - > want to I don't want to take the and and again it's not a it there was never any part of me at the time that was like because I know this story of somebody who's had a bad experience with 343 - > antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication it was just something in me on that day I was like well I've got a choice right now of trying to solve this myself first or getting some aid that may 344 - > not make me feel like myself anyway.

Yeah. 345 - > try and do it myself first. And was that because that was the right thing for you rather than like a strongly held value? Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

And at this point, 346 - > I didn't even know what was like, there was none of that coaching, there was no value. And I've always been, to be fair, Joe, I've always been anti, I've never taken a class A drug in my life. 347 - > Just I don't know why I've had many opportunities to I've been to YB for like my like I've seen my friends have great times on but just I've never it's never been for me. Yeah, I've just always 348 - > had a bit of a fear about it.

I don't know why maybe that crossed over into Yeah, I don't know if I've ever talked about this on on our podcast, the Stay Hungry podcast, but like I'm an advocate 349 - > for whatever works for you as the individual. So I'm on antidepressants. Yeah, I take 50 milligrams of sertraline every day. I'm fairly sure I've never said that before.

I lied. Sorry, mate. 350 - > No, no, no, no, the conversation. But no, I think no, I'm not.

I'm not. I've certainly fuck it if you don't like me because of that. Fuck off. Yeah, right.

See you later. 351 - > Because I do have suicidal thoughts. And I have been to very dark places. 352 - > And I have a responsibility to my wife and my family to make sure that I'm looking after myself.

And that was the intervention that was required. And I would 353 - > say to someone if you're in that place, and that's what's suggested and you haven't got any other options. Fucking explore it. If someone broke their leg, you wouldn't say don't put it in a cast.

354 - > But I also totally respect if you're not quite in that place, and you've got options on your side, like exercise, mindfulness, breath work, that it is well worth exploring those avenues because 355 - > from experience, with medication, sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better. And that is a fucking scary few months. Yeah, of course. And obviously, that wasn't the 356 - > today that everything changed for me mentally.

I'm sure you've had the analogy or the demonstration of how I think when you hit those rock bottom places when you're having those thoughts and 357 - > feelings, it's almost like recovery circles. Yes. And I'd be I'd be perceivably okay for two weeks. And then boom, I'd have my low moods would come back.

And I'd like find ways to not 358 - > deal with it. But at times it would literally be okay. I just know that the next couple days I'm going to have to roll through these emotions, which when you're logical and step away is how 359 - > all of life works. For sure.

That's how sport is you play really well in five games of football, and then you have a stinker, you come to work, you run in the business, everything's going great 360 - > for four days, and then Friday's an absolute shit show. That that's how life is. And we're really guilty. I think you'd be a blessed individual to sit there and say that you're 361 - > not like this, that if you were to have four good days and one bad day, you always put the bad day at the forefront of your mind because that's how shit week one bad day and then you're 362 - > like, if somebody says to you, what about the other four?

Are they all right? Well, yeah, when the like really crude example when the caveman steps out the cave, he's not looking for flowers, 363 - > he's looking for a saber tooth tiger. And it's exactly the same thing you you remember the bad shit, so it doesn't happen again. The good stuff didn't negatively impact you when you've got 364 - > survival instinct.

So you have to force yourself to remember the good stuff to override that survival instinct that nine times out of 10, we don't need anymore. That's right. And yeah, and 365 - > and because I essentially I've I scared myself. But like, really, because I don't I don't know whether you've had this thought, but whether it's right or wrong, but when you're reading about 366 - > people's posts online, and they've had a bad time, there was quite an empathetic person, hence the people piece pleasing thing, but you're always like, it was never gonna be me.

367 - > And that not in an arrogant sense, but I'd never had any real, real low points. My my parents divorced, I've had some bad relationship experiences. I obviously dealt with those intrusive thoughts. 368 - > And it did happen to me.

And it is just as real. But because I Yeah, I don't know. It's really weird, isn't it? I think you you just naive as a young, you have to imagine if you weren't imagine 369 - > if you knew what it was like, yeah, you'd suffer with it too.

Yeah, true. And like, it's like, I've met people who say depressions not real or intrusive thoughts aren't real. And yeah, and I'm 370 - > like, that's like, if you've never broken a bone in your body, you don't know what it feels like to break a bone. So you're not qualified to fucking say, and where like, when people say, 371 - > like, and I think intrusive thoughts, anxiety and depression, there's a lot of overlap.

And when people say, our depressions not real, it's just a man with a lack of purpose. I fucking think that's 372 - > so disrespectful. Yeah, I'm like, I'm one of the most purposeful people you'll ever meet. And evidence.

Yeah, my guy. Yeah. And yet, there's been days where I've woken up and thought I was 373 - > the biggest piece of shit on earth. And the day will be better if I'm not in it anymore.

374 - > So fucking figure that out. Because that's not lack of purpose. I'm pretty sure I'm right in saying that there is, I'm not going to butcher any statistics or whatever. But I know that there 375 - > is a population of the human race that do generate more of the chemical that like the low energy, lack of cortisol, lack of cortisol, and people are naturally and can actually be more open, 376 - > not open, that's the wrong word, but more likely to experience depression.

And yeah, I'd say like, as a kid, and you might have gone through this in hindsight, I was probably more 377 - > openly emotional than other blokes. And yeah, it normally came out as like anger or competitiveness or loudness, or jokiness. But actually, there's a there's another side to that, 378 - > that like for every up there's a down. And so when I started to have mental health issues, it made sense to me in a random, it was awful.

But I was like, Oh, yeah, shit, I do really 379 - > fucking feel things. Yeah. And I don't know if you get this as well. But I would say that everything I've always been quite an enhanced character.

Yeah, the loud, I'd always get 380 - > labeled the loudest. I've always been known to have a good sense of humor. In my latter part of school and college, I quite like being the I quite like making people laugh. I wouldn't mind 381 - > standing in front of the room and cracking a joke that maybe pissed one person off but made 20 people laugh.

I'd happily get in trouble to get that laugh as well. And that enhancement comes 382 - > over into leadership as well. So with management with naturally falling into positions in employment where I was a coach essentially doing one to one training with people on how to use equipment and 383 - > all those kind of things. And then of course, kept being naturally a leader on a football pitch, you know, like not just the management thing.

But when I go out on the pitch as well, I'm 384 - > the voice that everyone can hear. Yeah, I vividly remember even as a kid, because I the playing field where we played football was quite near our house, not that near, but near 385 - > enough. And I'd go home after a game and my mum would say the only person I could hear was you. 386 - > And I'd be like, well, someone's got to tell people what to do.

She's like your mouth is disgusting. 387 - > Sorry, mum. But I think all of that enhancement, when I then had my low moments, which were pretty savage, to be honest, it's the same level of enhancement. For sure.

They were fully enhanced. 388 - > Every thought that I had wasn't just a for it was, all right, well, how can I make that fucking work? Then you? That's also like, this is wanky phrase.

That's also your superpower, right? 389 - > Like, yeah, as a coach, you'll analyse things more. As a person, you'll be careful with what you say to someone based on the fact that you've already thought the scenario over in your head. 390 - > For sure.

And I think when somebody comes to me with an issue that may be life based rather than they have got their calories wrong, right? Yeah, obviously, my coaching crosses over into 391 - > both sides of the playing field. In fact, I don't think there is two sides to the playing field. 392 - > I think they all enhance each other.

Yeah, using the enhancement word again. 393 - > But sometimes my clients know, yeah, my clients know what I'm about. And they know what kind of coach I am. They know that I'm enhanced.

And they also know it pisses them off sometimes that I'll 394 - > get them to really go and think about their challenge first before they ask me to answer. 395 - > And I'll get them to be really actually coaching. Yeah, well, and, and I think it's really easy to be unspecific with stuff in life, and come to you, come to you, I'm sure, like even in the office. 396 - > Yeah, I used to have a sign on my on my office door that said, have you fucking Googled it?

397 - > Yeah, right. And obviously, there's some things in terms of like mental health, and I'd be very, I personally, I don't know your thoughts. I'm not a Dr. Google fan.

I don't think I think it's 398 - > I think it's really important to get maybe get a rough idea, but to continually go through the loop. 399 - > thoughts, the worst possible thing you could do is start self-diagnosing. 400 - > For sure, yeah and again if I look back at my my journey, my story, I would and did that help me? Nah, it really didn't.

Yeah and again you wonder why I 401 - > thought that it was going to go to the next stage. It's also like that, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, so if someone's, inverted 402 - > commas, got something wrong with them, be it they're overweight, they lack sex drive, they don't feel motivated at work, you can give them the solution that works 403 - > for 90% of people and just say follow this, you'll be fine. You can't make them do it, so if you help them come to that solution themselves, the likelihood of 404 - > them then doing it is massively improved.

Yeah absolutely and I and look I'm sure even you've had experiences where, I'm actually working with Dax, Dax Moy 405 - > at the moment and it's been incredible because we're really working on what my my message is, we're really working on who I want to work with and obviously 406 - > I'm identifying and again if I was to, I appreciate everybody that I've worked with of course I do, the fact that they've even had the respect for me to 407 - > exchange money with me for my services is incredible.

Of course. But obviously there's been people in that, that hasn't worked and maybe we've not aligned on 408 - > Which is the same for every business. For sure, but what's really important for me now is that there is a, there is a filter now with regards to who I know that I am 409 - > suited and qualified to work with and it's been really helpful because there's some people on, in the, in the, in the industry or not from a coach's 410 - > perspective but from a client perspective who will look at my transformation with my weight loss and they do have a holiday in six months and 411 - > that's all they want to work with but unfortunately Joel, I don't want to, not that there's anything wrong with it but I do feel that that kind of coaching 412 - > like quick six-month weight loss leave you to your holiday and then leave you crack on with the habits that you'd left, sorry, been built before that holiday, you 413 - > can give people the basic science of calories in, calories out, protein, exercise more.

Nine times out of ten for, no not even nine times out of ten, if somebody does 414 - > that they are going to lose some weight but with every weight loss journey there's always something behind what it is that's making them want to do it and 415 - > that's where I come in. Okay, so what we're talking about it's kind of prevention versus cure to an extent. Absolutely. That quick fix thing is, and 416 - > yes you've always meet that person that lost loads of weight in two months and kept it off for the rest of their lives but for every one of them 417 - > there's a hundred that piled it all back on.

That's 60% of, there was a study by Bupa, three-month study of weight loss, 60% of adults who went on a 418 - > weight loss journey after the three months then regained their weight after that weight loss transformation. So what are the typical things that you bump 419 - > into that underpin people's issues with their weight? So it all resolves around confidence, stress, underlying, I'm no therapist right, but underlying stresses 420 - > that sometimes they didn't even realize that they had and then you're like you start to see patterns and check-ins, this has held you back again.

421 - > So I've got a bee in my bonnet, I said to you I'd go in on coaches on this, come on I fucking really struggle with coaches that claim that it's all about 422 - > self-discipline. No it's not, because yeah, number one we're a line river, I'll see where else you're gonna go with this, but it's because you can't be 423 - > disciplined all the time, you cannot be unless you have something in front of you that is genuinely making you excited about the decision that you're gonna 424 - > make.

So I'll tell you why I've said that and he was on the podcast yesterday so his episode will go out before this episode. Very good 425 - > coach, very reliable man, called him Tee and he said I don't trust fat people and I challenged him on it and I said well scientifically I'm fat, I said you 426 - > won't find a more reliable trustworthy person than me, I'll stand by that, I'm fucking loyal to people and I work hard for people and I keep my word. I was like 427 - > but the one area where I lack discipline is looking after myself and that's been a constant theme through my adult life because it was almost like looked after, 428 - > it was the thing that looked after itself when I was younger because I'm always active, always doing sport, judo, football, athletics and when that got 429 - > taken away as an adult and injuries crept in and stuff I didn't have the structure in place to deal with it and so the argument I was making was well 430 - > that's not self-discipline because I've got a tremendous amount of self-discipline in other areas of my life, what I'm trying to say is that leaders eat last 431 - > to an extent, ironically, but like because I'm so busy looking after everyone else that I'm last on my own list and I need to figure out a way to 432 - > mentally get comfortable with being further up the list so I'm looking after myself and it's fine, I actually think it's healthy to disagree with people.

433 - > So to go into my coaching philosophy I've got five that equal 20% of my 100% philosophy and one of them is am I treating myself as I would do a friend 434 - > or family member and I know it sounds really basic but if you were to, and this is, I'm not trying to coach you Joel but I'm just saying how can you 435 - > show us what you can do, yeah how can you cross that over into your lifestyle so like if you were to maybe, I'm gonna use this as an example not for 436 - > you, but if you was to watch a child or like, so I was just about to say to you this is really interesting right I've got a nephew now, I don't have kids myself, we've 437 - > decided not to have children, we've got a two and a half year old nephew and a five month old niece and I've lost a lot of weight this year, you're great mate, 438 - > thank you, and one of the things that crosses my mind when I'm making myself food is would I feed this to my nephew?

There you go and I think it's, I know it 439 - > sounds really basic but you know, most people have a rough idea as to what is nutritionally beneficial to them or not and then, even if you eat too much you 440 - > know what's good for you, yeah and again knowingly or unknowingly your body will give you feedback as to what you've eaten, it's fucking weird man, like the 441 - > transformation in me this year is quite stark, like it's quite significant and I went to Tesco before I came to work today and I made the mistake of going to 442 - > Tesco hungry, which is like, I know that's a bad trap but I bought water, grapes, a protein bar and a low calorie protein ready meal and I was 443 - > and I was really chuffed for myself, I was like there is no way six months ago that guy does that and also like he's not listening to one of the 444 - > staffs leaving so I got him some beers and some chocolate so I had to go down the chocolate aisle, yeah I had to go down the beer aisle, yeah, nothing, yeah that's 445 - > amazing man, but I know six months ago I never had that so and that wasn't self-discipline, it was partly habit, it was partly giving myself the ability to 446 - > choose, because I wasn't making choice before, I was on autopilot and having some self-respect.

One of the most powerful things that I, and again it may 447 - > sound really easy and by the way like my coaching revolves more around lifestyle I guess than it does weight loss, but if somebody has come to me and 448 - > that's the part of the journey that they're struggling with, with like you know like the five planets or whatever they're working towards and 449 - > fitness may be the one that they're struggling with and it is because of overeating or not really having the knowledge around food, one of the biggest 450 - > things that you can never get, because again a lot of people through social media, the fitness industry, through false perceptions of how you should look 451 - > especially and you know what, actually I was gonna say especially with women but I think it's crossed over it's almost worse with men now.

I'd hate 452 - > to say it's worse in a very cautious sense because I think it's probably shit for everyone. Yes shit for everyone yeah. But I don't think people comprehend the 453 - > pressure on men to look a certain way, behave a certain way. Did you see the Olly Murs thing?

No. So he was perceivably known as the good-looking pop star with 454 - > the dad bod right? Okay, which is ludicrous because he was never that big. 455 - > No, he was like an average-sized geezer right?

He would have been in his BMI. Yeah oh yeah probably yeah and he got lean and he got shit for it in the press. Yeah 456 - > like so which way do you fucking want it? Yeah you look older now cos you've lost weight.

Crazy it's honestly and it happens doesn't it? You can't do wrong for doing right 457 - > sometimes but I think what it all comes down to self-discipline, motivation, eating to habits, like eating against your previous bad habits. If we were to look 458 - > at it from a food perspective it's to start looking at your food as fuel for you. So yeah and also being kind enough to yourself that there's gonna be times 459 - > where you want to have something a bit naughty yeah that's okay.

Yeah well yesterday I went 460 - > I went for a walk at my local national park in the morning and the plan was always to go back and do my journal 461 - > looking out across the valley and there's a pub there and they do breakfast in the mornings. 462 - > And I looked at the menu and I really fancied poached eggs and I really fancied their like fruit compote porridge 463 - > with honey and all that as well. 464 - > And I was like- You're bougie now. 465 - > I know, yeah.

466 - > Bougie boy. 467 - > Yeah. 468 - > Toast for Chelsea. 469 - > Ha ha ha, no prawn sandwiches available, but no.

470 - > And because I know what works for me and I know that all I'm doing is fueling myself 471 - > for the rest of the day, as somebody on a standard weight loss diet 472 - > without any kind of coaching or pre-knowledge to calories and protein and macros would be like, 473 - > oh, I can only have one. 474 - > I'll go for the poached eggs on toast and I'll take away the butter. 475 - > But I had both, right? 476 - > And that was, I was thinking about Harry 2018 just started his weight loss journey.

477 - > I probably wouldn't have even bothered having breakfast out mate. 478 - > Just a black coffee. 479 - > Yeah, yeah. 480 - > But then you'd be fucked for the rest of the day.

481 - > Exactly. 482 - > And then by being fucked and the mood being altered would then lead to some kind of binge eating. 483 - > Exactly, man. 484 - > Yeah, so.

485 - > I find that really tricky. 486 - > Like because I've lost weight quickly before. 487 - > This year it's been slow and steady. 488 - > Fucking good.

489 - > And sometimes you get on the scales in the morning they've gone up a bit or whatever. 490 - > It is hard. 491 - > It is tricky to get your head into the space where it's like, this is better. 492 - > This is gradual.

493 - > This is sensible. 494 - > I'm fueled, I'm alert. 495 - > I'm getting a good night's sleep. 496 - > Like my sex drive's not all ripped to shreds.

497 - > I can go to the gym and pick things up without it hurting. 498 - > But again, media I think really puts this whole like you need to transform yourself 499 - > ready for summer in six weeks. 500 - > Like you need to be like the sexiest man around the pool. 501 - > And it's like, well fucking that's gonna take more than a bit of weight loss for me to do that.

502 - > But like, it's actually getting into your head like am I making good choices for me? 503 - > And sometimes like a syrup, sponge and custard is the right choice. 504 - > Yeah, I love food. 505 - > I always have, mate.

506 - > If you look at the childhood, the child photos of me, 50% of them at least I've got a bag of crisps 507 - > or something to eat in my hands, right? 508 - > I've always loved food. 509 - > It was the biscuit tin for me at home as a kid. 510 - > My mum must have known, must have known.

511 - > But as soon as someone's back was turned, I'm fucking, I'm in there, like. 512 - > Going in my grandma, like the granddad and grandmas that I'd go back and watch the cricket, 513 - > you'd always go in, glass of Ribena and then do you want a biscuit? 514 - > What biscuits did your grandma and grandma? 515 - > Oh mate, always custard creams.

516 - > That's a pretty, so mine now are pink wafers. 517 - > Oh really? 518 - > Because I think that's such an old person's choice of biscuit. 519 - > What, pink wafer?

520 - > Yeah. 521 - > I'd be like, I think that's a kid's lunchbox. 522 - > Do you? 523 - > Yeah.

524 - > Oh, so it's rich teas or pink wafers? 525 - > Oh no, see I was, sorry but I'm saying, yeah, my grandma was top of the leaderboard 526 - > with her biscuits. 527 - > Ooh, bougie, bougie. 528 - > Custard creams, the, not jammy dodges, but you know like the Fox's jam and cream biscuit.

529 - > With the little bit of sugar on the jam bit. 530 - > Insane, insane. 531 - > My nan was fucking mental. 532 - > So like, she had really shit biscuits.

533 - > She also always only had ready salted crisps, which was like, what the fuck is going on? 534 - > But they were walkers. 535 - > And then her idea of a snack before bed, if I was standing at my nan's, 536 - > was she'd give you rice krispies with loads of sugar on, but not ricicles, rice krispies. 537 - > Nice.

538 - > And my nan is, I've just brushed my teeth. 539 - > Even I knew it was mental. 540 - > Yeah, yeah. 541 - > But I would just be like straight into it.

542 - > Or like warmed up Weetabix with sugar on. 543 - > Oh, I love warmed up Weetabix. 544 - > Yeah. 545 - > That's a big fan.

546 - > Makes it all together. 547 - > It's like a gloops. 548 - > But I think you can really judge a grandparent based on their selection of snacks. 549 - > Yeah.

550 - > She's still playing now. 551 - > She's got dementia now, but she's still just like playing Jane. 552 - > Yeah. 553 - > She's called Janet.

554 - > Still like her pick wafers? 555 - > No, I think they upgraded to Blue Ribboned. 556 - > Oh, bloody hell. 557 - > Well, I was a grown up then, so.

558 - > Blue Ribboned, that's, hold on mate, you can't be labelling me bougie and then just saying. 559 - > They weren't, they're not bougie. 560 - > Yeah, yeah. 561 - > I could go to my nan's house right now, give her my mum's a carer for her, 562 - > open the cupboard and find a tin from the 80s in the cupboard.

563 - > They're not bougie. 564 - > But every day now, it's like meat and two veg. 565 - > That's like, it's just very basic. 566 - > She's always been like that.

567 - > But my granddad was very like, always had like a piece of bread and butter 568 - > to mop up his dinner. 569 - > Yeah, and like my granddad every Friday would have smoked haddock fried on the frying pan 570 - > in an old council house in a little village called Montacute. 571 - > And he would have two bits of white bread and butter with it every Friday. 572 - > And the fucking house would stink for about four days afterwards.

573 - > You just can't get rid of that smell. 574 - > So funny, isn't it? 575 - > So funny. 576 - > And like those things really influence you.

577 - > Like, my granddad worked in a factory, had a physical job, 578 - > but he could put a few more calories away than the average guy. 579 - > My dad, the same. 580 - > He'd take his lunchbox to work. 581 - > They'd have a piece of cake in it.

582 - > He'd have like four rounds of bread, big chunky sandwich. 583 - > He'd have fruit as well, but he could get away with 5,000 calories a day 584 - > because he's on a building site all day. 585 - > I'm like coming to the office. 586 - > Sat down, man.

587 - > Sat down all day, maxing out 2,000 steps a day. 588 - > I've got to retrain all of that stuff. 589 - > Because not, it's no one's fault, it's my problem. 590 - > But bearing in mind, like getting really clear on like what's in stuff.

591 - > Is it good for me? 592 - > I took a client for breakfast the other day, a full English breakfast, 1,700 calories. 593 - > Hey, you've ever stopped to look at Gloucester services? 594 - > Yeah, yeah, yeah.

595 - > Insane, it's lush. 596 - > Like that is a bougie services by the way. 597 - > Gloucester and Tebay, same company. 598 - > Oh, okay.

599 - > Best services in the land. 600 - > They have like a proper farmhouse bakery section when you walk in. 601 - > Yeah. 602 - > And I'm calorie conscious now.

603 - > I am working towards some goals at the moment. 604 - > I've got a ultra next week. 605 - > So I've got like now, even today, before running a 50K, 606 - > I've got to be thinking about fueling my body for this week, right? 607 - > So I went in there and I was, obviously you get distracted by the bakes.

608 - > And I looked and there was a pistachio or salted caramel would be my like top two. 609 - > And there was this croissant mate. 610 - > And on the tag, 625 calories just for a pistachio based. 611 - > And you're like, it would be really nice right now, but we'll have, 612 - > and this is kind of going back to, leading us back to the trail of thought 613 - > that I've trained myself to have now.

614 - > And I invite my, anyone that I work with, and even who is it you're trying to be today? 615 - > Yeah, yeah. 616 - > We'll tomorrow you. 617 - > Thank you for today.

618 - > And is like, Paul's used this with us before, as even with business stuff 619 - > and all of those kinds of things, but it just comes down to every micro decision you can make. 620 - > If you can catch 80% of them and make the right ones that match who it is that you want to be, 621 - > not what you want to achieve, not what the scales are going to do tomorrow, 622 - > but the person that you would be like, make yourself proud to be, 623 - > you don't need discipline when you do that.

624 - > I'm in that place now. 625 - > We have lots of stuff, obviously, as I alluded to, but we went to an awards night on Friday as a company, 626 - > took some clients and there was a lot of drinking going on. 627 - > And I'm 90% sure that I just don't need that. 628 - > It's not that I don't mind people drinking, I don't mind having a drink myself, 629 - > but I don't think anything good happens after 10 o'clock anymore.

630 - > I might have just reached an age. 631 - > Yeah, man. 632 - > But I'm like, if I stayed for the awards, saw the raffle, clapped everyone, 633 - > shook the owner's hands, said thank you very much and went to bed, would anyone remember? 634 - > Probably not.

635 - > No. 636 - > And on that, I'm just ticked over seven months, well, just coming up to seven months myself. 637 - > One of my 10 biggest targets for this year was to go the whole of 25 without any alcohol. 638 - > Yeah.

639 - > And I'm finding it so easy at the moment. 640 - > I've got a wedding and a stag do later on in the year, but I'm even looking at them now, 641 - > I'm okay with it already. 642 - > Well, everyone else is still gonna have a good time if you clock off early. 643 - > Exactly, so yeah.

644 - > It's like, I don't think being preachy is a bad thing. 645 - > Being preachy about it's a good idea because each to their own. 646 - > Some people can get away with it, some people can't. 647 - > I think actually what I would add is if you want to feel better, 648 - > if you want to look better, if you have a health, wellness, 649 - > physical achievement goal in mind right now and that's what your future self is attaching itself to 650 - > and every week you're going out and putting six beers away, 651 - > you're giving yourself a shit chance that you're gonna- 652 - > You're gonna lose the calories you don't need.

653 - > For sure. 654 - > Yeah, even just on that level, let alone the fact that your inhibitions then drop 655 - > and you have a kebab on the way home and you feel like shit for three days 656 - > so you're less productive and miss the gym. 657 - > Alcohol fucks up your hunger hormones anyway. 658 - > So when you eat after you've drank alcohol, your body doesn't- 659 - > Feel satiated.

660 - > No. 661 - > So no wonder you, like I've put a whole pizza away 662 - > after a night out before plus- I can do that sober. 663 - > I'm just saying, right? 664 - > You don't notice it.

665 - > The next day you're like, fucking hell, why do I feel so groggy? 666 - > Oh, yeah, and I've tracked myself after a couple of drinks what my performance is like the next couple of days. It's dramatic It's mad. Yeah, so imagine what you like after a skinful.

It's crazy. Like you're talking about weeks written off 667 - > It's um, yeah, it's one and again if you think about like the positive and negative Effects that your upbringing has on you. My family was incredibly social a lot of our family 668 - > Birthday parties for the kids would almost be an excuse for them aunties and uncles to get a Yeah a few beers in them and then when you turn like 14 15 669 - > You're like, oh, is it? All right if we have one of those little French beer stubbies and then it's like a yeah We're part of the adults now like with your one or two beers that you're allowed 670 - > I don't think a lot of those cultures are hundreds years old in families Yeah, but in the last 50 years, we've all stopped working in the fields.

Can't get away with it anymore 671 - > And also those people died in their 50s. Yeah, that's at the at the 672 - > The fashionable trend of smoking for your day Yeah, and the fashionable trend of having a beer when you finish work down the social club like yeah, it all adds up. So 673 - > With your coaching with what how you work with people what I like your mindset tools and non-negotiables That are really important for the structures your clients need 674 - > when people come to work with me, it's Probably because in some way or another that they're aligned with the way that I'm thinking or the way that I do perform.

So a 675 - > Lot of my journey has evolved around me going out and proving myself wrong from a physical in a physical capability so at one point I couldn't run a mile and 676 - > Recently in the last year I've done Endurance events that maybe if I really think about it 677 - > Well, it has made me get emotional when I've crossed the finish lines, right because I'm like how the fuck we got here So for someone listening, what kind of distances are we talking because some people won't know?

Yeah. Okay. So 678 - > 54 kilometers is my longest Not only that I did London Marathon in four and a half hours for somebody that was yeah is which 679 - > to be fair, right if you compare it to Runner, I'm not built like a runner, right? It was a good time.

You're not 680 - > The frame of a man who should be doing endurance running. Yeah, exactly Yeah, you'd like when people as a kid said you should play rugby. They're right. We're wrong.

Yeah 681 - > Yeah, and now I'm a holding midfielder and I love it. But yeah Do all that means that means that you've lost you at your speed. Oh, yeah, and I could talk to you 682 - > Talk to mature the football so you can see the game. I love that.

I love that like if you're good at football But you've aged a bit. They're like right you could play holding midfield. Yeah shit. They put you left back, which is me 683 - > pause Well, I grab a weekly yeah, and then we'll wrap up anyway, I sound yeah, we just got I 684 - > Want you to your mindset tools non-negotiables and then tell us who you are All right, we're coming 685 - > Go Ethan go Any for me I think there's another one coming then if that's Amazon 686 - > Every I'm gonna be coming as well.

I Think this is my sword man 687 - > What's that coffee can't we get through some coffee and then to go It's my sword 688 - > I think good Scott's got his drill today. We'll get that It's a sword mount obviously 689 - > Where were we dude, so Yeah mindset tools. We were discussing how if you're good at football you get put as a that's right 690 - > Holding midfielder if you're absolutely shocking a football or still too overweight. They just bang your left back.

Yeah Yeah, it's it's been a nice time to be fair the end of last year 691 - > I was playing as a 10, but again because of experience I knew I was hold the ball up and I had to bring other people into play. We played like a high on the pitch 692 - > yeah, and I Would like lead up not lead our press but with our press because I knew how the press works with the coaching that I'd done 693 - > I Would be in charge of our two wingers and forwards to like trigger at the right time 694 - > So yeah, it's honestly it's mass like I don't think I've played in a team maybe at college a little bit That had any level of tactics.

Oh, really? Yeah, they just line you up like pretty standard Sunday League style 695 - > 541 or 442 and I'd be like, why are we setting traps? Where's the triangles? Why are we pressing?

Yeah People just look you like yeah, and I and again 696 - > The enhanced personality comes out with me in football if I've got a player in my team that like I can just tell doesn't care They fucking get and they get told I tell you. Yeah. Yeah, right. So what are your like non-negotiables and tools?

697 - > yeah, so again, obviously I've worked with a very vast 698 - > amount of clients Burton more recently when people come to work with me we Really work hard at the start of the journey to really iron out what they want to achieve at the end of it 699 - > and again, that's really individual right, but I always ask a client to put something at the end of Not not the end of our time working with each other because some people have worked with me for two years something some people 700 - > I've now switched it the minimum that somebody can work with me is six months.

That's period so over that six months It's about becoming a version of themselves that they didn't think they could be 701 - > The hundred percent version of themselves and they create that 100% version of themselves so it's about signing up to and committing to something that gets them very outside of their comfort zone from a 702 - > Fitness perspective or physical perspective. Yeah, whichever frame you want to put that in and that's something that we've worked on So a lot of the time it's half marathons 703 - > Yeah, because again half marathons no distance to be sniffed out it's an incredible achievement 13.

1 miles is a long way 704 - > To carry yourself around especially if you've never done it before Well, even people who've run half marathons before still find them difficult 705 - > So that's that's the first thing the second thing is to utilize staying on track in some way So for I've got two elements that people can do that. I'm quite a hands-on coach and I don't mind admitting that so I'll I 706 - > actually like to see what people are up to not from a perspective of I'm gonna dad them and be like What are you up to today?

How let me know how things are going, but people will choose. They'll either utilize my 100% journal. Yeah 707 - > Which we know the benefits of but for the listeners perspectives having having something that keeps your brains Tuned into the version of yourself that you want to be on a day-to-day basis 708 - > Really does help so people can either use the full thing if but if they're They don't like that or time doesn't I have another way where they just literally send me through and what's up every morning 709 - > Three things that are aligned with their goals that they're going to achieve in that day And then it's up to them whether they achieve it or not, right because I'm I'm not like I'm not a child carer, right?

710 - > I'm giving you the tools. Yeah, exactly and then 711 - > If I was to look at like the the bigger picture of it Obviously having some form of in my like five-fifths of us 712 - > I've mentioned treating sometimes me is just making them aware that actually You are after these goals right now as an individual 713 - > but if you look at the way that you're treating your kids or you're looking at the way that you're Working look at the amount of hours you're putting into work and you feel stressed and sometimes it's just a bit of realization 714 - > We slow things down.

We draw out that map and we work out right at the start, right? 715 - > What's really not going well right now? Hmm emotionally physically from a mindset perspective What are you struggling with? What don't you like about yourself?

And then we go, right? 716 - > So how can we together make realistic but also scary goals? 717 - > that's going to change all of those things and When you do that it kind of then puts a roadmap in place of how you can achieve it together as a from a coach 718 - > Client perspective and it's insane mate when you when you do break through that Even if people know what I'm about with mindset and 719 - > With regards to like the journey that I've been on and the tools that I've got available to be able to get them to switch Things around there's always that like it's really easy to talk to somebody about 720 - > They're easy stuff like how heavy they are and they want to look good in a bikini or they want to fit back into the Service level stuff, but really when you have the your foot as a coach 721 - > It's insane when you have that first conversation with somebody about what's really going on the stress is at work the pressures that they're under into relationships 722 - > Not being confident in the bedroom all of those kind of things and then you start to make their goals align with those as well That's 723 - > That's where the magic happens.

724 - > Literally. 725 - > Yeah, literally, yeah, literally. 726 - > Harry, you've been an epic guest. 727 - > What's the best way for people to get in touch?

728 - > Thank you, mate, I appreciate that. 729 - > I am 100, no, I'm not, I'm harrypurdyofficial on Instagram. 730 - > And if they wanna come and see more about what I do, what I talk about, how I coach, 731 - > I'm harrypurdyofficial on YouTube and 100% podcast on Spotify as well. 732 - > Epic, thank you so much.

733 - > Thanks, Joel. 734 - > Thank you.