Episode 341 Powerfully Imperfect with Coach Kevin Voisin (Part 1)

Speaker A: All right, this is Coach Kevin. I've coached over 50,000 people and have coached more people than you probably ever wanted to know their life story. I'm, uh, here on the Relationships and Revenue podcast with John Hewland. Uh, super excited to be here to share a lifetime of knowledge. I've lived life a lot faster and a lot more than most people, sucked all sorts of marrow out of all sorts of bones, landed face first more times than you've ever imagined, and brought back the wisdom for you.

Speaker B: Life is all about relationships, and great leaders heavily invest in those relationships. On the Relationships and Revenue podcast, we talk about how to improve our most significant relationships at home so we can be better in our business relationships. We talk with experts from all over the world, representing many disciplines, about the best tips and strategies to become amazing people and amazing leaders. Welcome to the show. Welcome back, everyone, to the Relationships and Revenue podcast. This is your host, John Hewland. As always, thrilled to have each and every one, uh, of you with me today. And as you heard from that oh, so enlightening introduction, I have the one only, Coach Kevin. I'm gonna mess up your last name again. Help me, Coach

Speaker A: Wasan

Speaker B: Vosan. There we go. Trust me, folks, when I saw it, I said voice in. I got it wrong. I have that Western English way of trying to look at it. So, yeah, I messed it up big time.

Speaker A: I'm not afraid to admit it.

Speaker B: I'm not.

Speaker A: I've, uh, been called a lot worse. It's a great last name for telemarketers. You need pick. Oh,

Speaker B: my gosh. That would be a lot of fun. You could have so much fun with those folks. Well, besides being a coach, as he mentioned to us, he's an entrepreneur speaker, and I'm gonna make sure I get all this right. As you guys know, I always have my handy dandy notes with me. Uh, Coach Kevin specializes in training and investing in men and women from all walks of life so they can not only withstand challenges, but conquer them and prosper. You've also. He's also been an elected official.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: Finished an Ironman.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: I mean, holy cow. I'm kind of thinking in my mind now, what haven't you done? And, oh,

Speaker A: by the way, your grandfather worked for

Speaker B: nas.

Speaker A: Not me. My grandfather. Your

Speaker B: grandfather,

Speaker A: he helped design the. The limb. The leader landing module. But, uh, yeah, I'm contractually obligated to say I finished an Ironman 70.3, because if you're in Ironman and I say, I finished an Iron Man, I only did 70.3. There's going to be a whole posse of people out from our heads. I want to be really clear. Iron Man,

Speaker B: 70.3.

Speaker A: Thank you, Ironman, for calling it 70.3, because it used to be called the half. And I promise you, as you're finishing 70.3 miles, it doesn't feel like half of anything. And I super respect all my friends who run the full, so I will not claim to have written I do not have a tattoo. That's the other thing. They want to come. It's like a biker gang. Uh. Oh, my gosh. But they're. But they're on real bikes instead of motorbikes. But. But yeah, if you tattoo early, they're coming after you. They'll cut it off. You don't. You don't get to wear the colors until you finish it the full way. So. So. So half Ironman for those.

Speaker B: Half Iron Man. Okay. But he also holds two other titles I suspect he holds most deer, and that's Husband and dad.

Speaker A: Amen. Yeah, for sure. That is the tattoo I have of, uh, my. All of my kids on the back of my leg.

Speaker B: Oh, wow.

Speaker A: Okay. Different great moments of their life.

Speaker B: Very cool. Very cool. Now, we also happen to start to, uh, apogee strong with a friend of the show, Matt Boudreau, so that's pretty cool. Nice way to tie back in with Matt and the wonderful conversation that he and I had. Um, he's also creator of the Spark, which we'll get into what that's all about. But, uh, do us a favor, Coach Kevin. One of the things that I think is really, really important is that most people don't wake up one day where they are, and it's just. They just knew that's where they were going to be no matter what. So I like to know people's backstory. So help us out a little bit. Let us know kind of how you got your start and what led you to where you are today.

Speaker A: Uh, okay. Ah. So, you know, in life, you come to these crossroads, right? You come to these moments where it's like, gotta pick. You're in a room, and there's four or five doors, right? Um, and my solution has always been yes, to pick all of them. Right? Like, so my solution, very young, was I think I can do all of this. Right? It was. I'm very much a yes and person. Right? Like, not a either or not a no. I'm a yes. And. And. And. And, um, at 50, I've started to reach my limits on what's actually Possible. But when I was young, I mean, why wouldn't you play all the sports, right? Or why not go football, soccer, baseball. Right. And fencing and tennis.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker A: All, you know, why not? Like that's normal. You know what I mean? Like, always some coach mad at you. Um, I'll never forget when I was doing swimming and soccer. I'd have soccer practice right before swim, you know, practice. And then coming out of the pool, I was always the slowest guy in practice. And we had a, we had a meet one time and, uh, I asked my soccer questions. Look, can I, can I just sit out? Because I don't normally want to sit out, but I got this thing, you know, I have this time trial. I really like it. So. Okay, sure. And I went from the slowest guy on the team to the fastest guy.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker A: It turns out not playing three hours of soccer right before you swim actually improves your performance. You know, it's a surprise. Um, at 50, I see that. At 17, 18, I did not see that. Um, but yeah, I've just done a lot. And if I saw it, I thought, okay, I'm going to figure this out and I'm going to go and do it. I started my career in, um, a family oyster business. Eighth generation oysterman, S.L. came, um, up doing that. Really got a hold of sales marketing. Um, really dominated, like one kind of global marketing type, uh, awards. Became one of the, I think the biggest seafood, the biggest oyster company on the earth at that time. Not seafood for sure. Um, and then wanted something more. So I opened up a marketing firm, um, started figuring out how to market other things and do more stuff. M. That was right around the time that, uh, the elected official happened. I always said I wanted to run. And, um, there was an election in my local municipality. And I said, the next time this election comes, I'm going to run. My grandfather had been the parish president from Louisiana. So parishes, not counties. Um, he had been the parish president. Always wanted to follow in his footsteps. He's getting older and it's like, no, if I do this next time, Grandpa's to be here, we'll do this together. No idea that the man in the position would die. And so it was like, only like several months later, like, not very long.

Speaker B: Um,

Speaker A: later there was the election. But I said I would do it. So I tried. And my grandpa assured me the worst thing that could happen would be you win. You know, when you run for office, the worst possible outcome is winning. You learn a lot about people in life and rejection as an elected official. Because you

Speaker B: bet

Speaker A: every single thing that you do, you piss off 10 of the people, at least. Um, but it's not the same 10% every time. So if you do 10 things, everyone hates you really quick. Like, everyone's got their reason to hate you. Um, that was very alarming, you know, because everyone loves you when you're. When you're. Here's a. Here's the truth, like, if you want to. The biggest takeaway from being elected. Getting elected. Because getting elected and being elected, very different things. Uh, and you gotta be both to be good at it. You gotta be able to get elected, but you also have to be able to be elected. And they're very different games. Almost bipolar games.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Um, every single person I ever talked to before the election was voting for me. Once I was elected, every single person that I talked to had voted for me.

Speaker B: Okay?

Speaker A: Right. But out of over 150,000 votes, I won by 15 votes.

Speaker B: Whoa.

Speaker A: Do the math. It was so. It was so close. In fact, at one point, with, like, the right districts reporting, there was like three votes. I was down three votes. And. And I knew from the rolls that my brother hadn't voted, you know? Cause you don't know who people voted for. You know, who has voted. And I called my brother,

Speaker B: okay?

Speaker A: And I'm like, hey, man, you gotta go vote. He's like, oh, dude, I'm out of town. I early voted. I'm like, no, you didn't, because here is the list. And if I lose, you went out of town with four people who vote. And if I lose this election by less than four people, I'm gonna find you and beat your ass. Even though you're bigger than me and tougher than me and you could probably beat me up. Like, it cannot be that my brother is the reason I went down. So it turned out we were able to still be best buddies and brothers after that. So. So from Elected Official, um, yeah, from Elected Official, uh, I decided, uh, to, you know, there's doing marketing. And then from there, I ended up going to a coaching company. I was running a marketing company. I saw an ad online. And, um, it was awesome. And I was like, man, why aren't we making ads like this? This is really cool. So I was recording the ad to send to my designers to say, hey, we should make stuff like this. And, uh, in order to do that, I had to listen to the video, uh, just the way that the screen capture worked. And like, five minutes in the video, I'm crying, you know, I. This guy that I'M listening to talk like, now I understand why I was cheating on my first wife. Now I understand why I imploded that relationship. Now I understand why I never feel like I'm enough. Like. And I'm like, man, I don't know what this program is, but I gotta go. And it was crazy. I mean, I had two grand in the bank. The program costs like 15,000. You know, I had an American Express card. I was like, well, let's just try it. It worked. You know, like, just immediately lied to my wife about how much it costs. Like, the worst lie in the history. It cost 15,000. And so she's like, well, how much was it? And I said 10. She's like, that's not even worth. Like, if I was gonna lie, I should say, like, two, right? Like, I

Speaker B: mean,

Speaker A: it's like the world's worst lie. I don't know. I didn't really want to lie, but I knew that it was going to be, you know, how to pay. So I went to this coaching program, and it was just amazing. It just opened me up, um, in ways that are hard to explain. And I just kept going and was. And eventually you top out as, uh. I mean, eventually there's nothing else to go to. And so then I just would pay to go help. I would actually pay to go, like, pay for my own stuff to go help. And they're like, what are you doing here? Like, you already did this. I'm like, yeah, yeah, but I'll just help you. I'll just, you know. So eventually people started calling me coach. And by the end of that, two years, three years, I was head coach of the program that I had gone to and,

Speaker B: wow,

Speaker A: that had run, you know, dozens and dozens of, uh, events and just realized, like, oh, I'm a coach. That's what I've always been. Even. Even in marketing, anyone who worked with me wanted me to coach them. And that was, you know, marketing was just the pretext. And, uh, so at that point embraced that, and I've just never looked back.

Speaker B: So you. You touched on it a little bit, but I was hoping you'd go a little bit deeper.

Speaker A: Sure.

Speaker B: So, uh, you're attracted to the ad for this coaching program, but in order for you to. To get it all, to be able to give it to your people, to essentially replicate it for you, you have to listen to it, and you do. I mean, and it's. It's stirring stuff inside of you. So what was it really doing? What was it touching on that was making such an impact on you that made such,

Speaker A: I

Speaker B: mean, it made such an impact that you became a coach because of it.

Speaker A: Yeah. So, yeah, this is, and this is great. Like, and, uh, this is why is because I completely destroyed my first marriage. I was a great dad. Like, great father, horrible husband. Okay, just. Serial cheater. Just everything just name whatever is like a bad husband. I mean, I didn't know, like, roughing up anybody. Like, I never touched anyone or anything, but, like, just, just, I didn't understand how to tell the truth. I, I, I was a high achiever. I was doing all the things. And I, I, I. What happened is that, like, 31, I checked all the boxes. I mean, like, I started a program that let me go to college early when I was 15, right? So, like, I was checking boxes. Like, you know, you just have this list of your life, and then you hit like, 30 and it's like, oh, I, uh, there's no more boxes. Like, I have kids. I have this, uh, like, I have, I have all the things right, that I'm, here's my list when I was 10 that I made is full. And I'm miserable. Like, I, I hate my life. Like, I'm, I, you know, at the time I was super overweight and not happy. And, and I, this is when I shaved my head, actually, is, is, uh, because I was in the bathroom realizing I had accomplished everything I'd always wanted to do when I was young and I didn't like my life. And I'm like, what's the point of that? Like, why do I, and I, and I, I'm like, you know what? I'm changing it right now. But the realization sinks in really quick. You can't, you can't back out. 16 years of effort or, you know, however many years of effort in, in one decision in the bathroom,

Speaker B: right?

Speaker A: And, and I felt really down about that. What can I do? And I just, I saw clippers. I mean, it's, this is so wild. But I just saw clippers in the cabinet. I was like, you know what? I'm, um, to me, a shaved head is confident. I'm just, this is it. Like, every time I see my hair, every time I see my hair gone, I, uh, To me, that's going to mean, like, no, more like that we're going to find what we really wanted. That, yes, we've checked the box off of what everyone told me I was supposed to want, but it's not doing it. And so that moment combined with, you know, the, the cheating and all of this being caught Cheating would not recommend, like, to those of you, and there are. There's certainly many of you listening who are cheating and thinking you're going to get away with it. First off, it hurts you more than anyone else. Second off, it just creates a mess that's not worth it. Like, we. We typically cheat because we don't have the integrity or fortitude to just tell the truth, which is, I'm, um, miserable, and I don't want to do this anymore. Um, now what's crazy is in my second marriage to the love of my life, I've said those things, she said those to me, and we figured it out. Amazingly, we didn't break up because we actually were just honest with each other. Like, here's where we are, man. This isn't working, right? But I wasn't that, man. I was a coward. I mean, I was just a coward, and I was hiding. And I thought if I could just fake it till I make it, if I could just lie. The reason that I hate hacks and I hate all of this, like, act as if kind of coaching is because I just know where that brings you. It brings you to a life you don't want, and you're. You're hemmed in by all the lies, right? So at the point that I saw this coaching program, I was already into the second marriage, and I was really happy, and I was really. I had found the truth. So at that point, I knew how to tell the truth. I mean, you know, you have an affair, and it's public. As an elected official, there's. I mean, you. You either tell the truth or you, you, you. I mean, I don't know. I don't know how you keep lying after that. Like, it's just. You don't have a whole lot of choice. Everything's on the record. It is what it is. You know, having the reporters come and, you know, there are more people at my divorce than at my wedding. Think about that.

Speaker B: Wow.

Speaker A: That's a true story. Um, but. But when I saw the ad, what I realized is I was a couple years into my second marriage, and I was starting to have some of the same problems I'd had in the first marriage. But married to a woman who's so diametrically opposed to the first woman that there was no possibility. There's no possibility that I chose the same person, right? Like, oh, I just must have this. No, it was. I was forced with. Oh, crap. Like, maybe I'm making this happen. Uh, like, maybe it's me. And, uh, we were happy and really things were going well. And when I saw the ad, I realized that this person could tell me what it was about me that did that and had a solution to that, you know, like. And that. That for me, right, was massive. Is because. And I'm telling my wife, she's like, why do you have to do this? Like. And I'm like, I. Because I know that there I'm going to find the answer to why I did what I did. And to me, that is why I will never do it again. So that's important to me, right? And she was really upset about the money, obviously. I mean, I'm still lying about the money, right? It's funny because it. It's just funny to me that the most integrous thing I think I've done in my life started with a lie. But I was just scared. You know, we lie because it works. Because, like, ah. You know, um. And you know, she just. We argued for a long time about whether I was going to do this or not. And I just held. It's one of the few things. I think it's one of the few arguments I've ever just held my ground with my wife and said, look, I got to do this. I don't know why. It doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't. Like, I. I get. It's too expensive. I get. I have to do. Like, this is one of those moments where there's. There's me after this and there's me before and I don't know why. And then her last argument was, well, you realize that what you just signed up for is over top of your son's first birthday. Now, I had never considered that this is. No, I didn't. I didn't. Hadn't done the math, right? Cause it was the way we had. Anyway, the. It was like this many weeks out as I was. I was like, it's this many weeks, you know, I hadn't really done the math. And. And I was like, well, he's only one. At least he'll never remember, you know, because it'll be better. It'll be better if he gets the dad that I'm going to be after this than if I miss. Right? This is what I said. And that was the end of the argument, right? Now, the next morning, I wake up. This is as we go to bed. Um, which is always a great time to have a fight, right? But. But I wake up in the morning and I get in the shower. Uh, and I. Very few times in my life can I say, I've done this. And I literally, in the shower, hit my knees and say, God, you know, I gotta be at this thing. And, you know, I can't miss my son's first birthday. So I'm going. Like, I know I gotta do this. Like, I'm going, but look, please figure it out. So I'm in. I'm all in. I called, you know, called that day to confirm everything's all in the very next day. So the, like, two days after I'd signed up, I get a call from Sam Falsafi, uh, the head coach at the time. Great man, great mentor to me. Uh, and he said, hey, man, somebody's grandma died and they can't make it to the next event. But, like, if you think you can do a month work of pre work in two weeks, I think I can get you in early. I just feel like you're the guy. I'm like, yep, I'm in. Like,

Speaker B: wow,

Speaker A: let's do it. And so it just kind of lined up. So I did make the event. I did make my son's first birthday, and I just never looked back. And I get. I get wrapped up talking about this. It's just such a serendipitous power. Uh, there are these moments in your life where you just know what you got to do and you just. It makes no sense. There is no rationality. There wasn't the money in the bank there. I mean, none of it, like, none of it made sense. And it's exactly what had to happen. It's. I think Alex Horosi calls this, like, 99% wrong, but 100% right. Because 99% of the time, that would be a stupid decision, but for me, it was the one. It was the 1%, and I felt it and I knew it. And. And so did my wife after. She didn't know before. But, you know,

Speaker B: let. Let me offer this. The wisdom of God is foolishness to man.

Speaker A: Amen.

Speaker B: Yeah. So, ah, I, uh, would say that many times things that appear to be foolish are often the wise thing to do.

Speaker A: I mean, who pays to be? And

Speaker B: it doesn't have to make sense to other people. It has to make sense to you.

Speaker A: Yeah, no, that's. Who pays to be a coach. That's bananas. It's bananas. You know, like, I. I remember, uh, I mean, who. No one does that. But I did because I just knew, like, man, if I go coach, this can be totally different. I get to see. I get to see these guys do it. That's going to Be something I want, I need. And, and yeah, it is what it is.

Speaker B: And, and at the time you probably didn't know it, but you were discovering a different way of coaching.

Speaker A: Oh no, not only a different way of coaching, a different way of seeing myself. A different. And it was, it was all coming together too. Is like one of the biggest revelations I had in that job. Right. Was truth. Um, first, integrity, always.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker A: Right. So meaning if you can't tell the truth, you really don't have much in life. And, and let me tell you something. Telling the truth is hard. Everybody who just heard that said, well, yeah, I can tell the truth. No, you can't. Probably you can't. It's, it is extremely hard to tell the truth. Like, the first layer of the truth is I don't manufacture falsehoods. I don't just make things up. Okay, cool. Probably most people have the ability to do that. Are they doing that? I don't know. But most people have at least that ability. The next layer of the truth though is though don't tell a lie to yourself that you believe and then repeat,

Speaker B: mhm.

Speaker A: Because that's still lying. Right? If I lie to myself, oh, I ate clean last week. But really, you know, if you look in the trash can, if you just collected everything, you'd see the wrappers and you would know. Right? But

Speaker B: yeah,

Speaker A: but I believe the lie of I ate clean. I, I had a client not that long ago, he's like, you know, I just am not losing weight. I'm eating clean 90% of the time and I'm not losing the weight. I'm like, cool, let's, let's talk about that 10%. Well, here's what 10% was. He ate clean Monday through Thursday and most of Friday.

Speaker B: Okay?

Speaker A: But Friday night, all day Saturday, all day Sunday, and sometimes Monday morning and sometimes Friday morning, he didn't eat clean. So if you do the math right, three days out of seven is not 90%. Like, you know, if you're, if you're off three days out of seven, I'm like, dude, you're, you're barely 50%. So, um, I mean, if you're, if you''re 55% committed, I mean, I think you're probably losing the weight that, that goes with that. Right? But that's, that's the truth. He had lied to him. So it's not that he was a liar, it's just in his mind, this is clean, this is 99%. And then he would say that out, uh, loud. If you have a Good coach. They'll immediately say, hey, yo, man, that's not 90% cool. If you want to be 55% committed and you think that'll get your result, awesome. But let's be real. That's not 90%. And then the third layer of the truth is the truth changes all the time. You know, if I ask right now, is it raining? Some people, yes. Some people know right now, no, but I'm in Galveston, so give it an hour or two, probably. Who knows, right? Like, uh, it. It can happen. The truth does change, right? I'm not saying that all truth all the time changes, but, I mean, change is a constant. So in order to live the truth, you got to do that. And here's another hard truth about the truth. There you go. There's a double. Uh, it's not worth very much once you can tell it. The truth by itself has almost no value. And I'll give you a metaphor. Air has almost no value until you don't have it. Like, none of us really pay for air. We don't think about it. It's. I mean, it's just free. It's all over the place, right? Like, it's nothing. If I handcuff you under the water, right? So for whatever reason, I handcuffed you under the ocean. Right. How many seconds or minutes, but probably seconds would it take for you to start? Considering I'm, um, handcuffed to the bottom. I have a knife. How long before I start thinking about cutting my own handoff really quick? For what? For air?

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Because when you don't have air, it has a tremendous value. Okay. When you have it, though, immediately it has almost no value. Even in that scenario, if you magically got out of the handcuff, maybe you have a Houdini hand. You know how to get out three steps from the water. The value of air just goes way down. Um, right, because it's baseline. So what is valuable about the truth because it is massively valuable? Well, integrity. The integrity that you can have behind the truth. So, yes, you've gotta be able to tell the truth, but that's just kind of like baseline. Then you have to have integrity. And integrity is hard. Integrity is a lifetime. Integrity is constantly re. Reassuring, seeing where you're out. Right. We're. We're fallible. We're human. Like, we're not going to stay in perfect integrity. We're gonna have to constantly sweep the floor of integrity. We're gonna have to constantly rearrange the paintings because things will get knocked around, and that's the real work. So for me, it's like, truth first, you know, but that's the gate to integrity. And an integrity is just always like, you, you gotta, you gotta decide in the face of a changing truth. But when I said I would do that, it was going to take 20 minutes. But now a week later, it's going to take 2 hours, 10 hours. But I said I would do it. So now how do I find integrity in that situation? In a changing world, do I have the integrity to be something fixed? You know, and that's the game. And I, I think people kind of screw up their impression. Sorry. I'm really passionate about this. But people think of integrity of like, can you tell the truth? Um, it's not that at all. Uh, imagine the integrity of balsa wood, right? I mean, balsa wood. I could have like a 4x4 balsa wood. I could break it on my head and I probably wouldn't even have a mark, right? It just, you know, just so light, it weighs almost nothing. Um, but then imagine the integrity of a steel beam. Right? Uh, you can build a pretty awesome house out of mud and sticks. There's lots of. You should look it up on YouTube, like two story, you know, mud and stick hut or whatever. Like, it's amazing what you can do. But the integrity of those materials is very, very low. And so the wrong rain comes by, or you maybe you can go two stories. Maybe not really, because I wouldn't want to stand on that mud and stick. You know, middle. Um, but with steel rebar and cement, you can build 200 stories high. We do it all the time. And that building might stand 100 years. Right? Why? Because of the integrity of the materials. And when we talk about human integrity and people, it's like that. It's like, you know, are you balsa wood? Are you pine? Are you tempered steel? Are you. What is. Are you diamond? Like, what is the integrity of your soul? And. And it just takes time

Speaker B: and effort, as you said earlier. Yeah.

Speaker A: Oh, no. Well, yeah, because that. How do you build it is through. Through making mistake and mistake and mistake. You know, refold, refold, refold.

Speaker B: Oh, yeah. And, you know, you know, I know folks who pay attention to the podcast kind of get tired of hearing me say this, but I, I think there's an important distinction here. You talk about making mistakes, which is super important in the learning process. Um, I, I like to differentiate two words here, Coach Kevin. Um, uh, failing and failure. Because in my mind, they are two very different things. And, uh, this is What I mean in failing means I tried something new, I didn't do it right. And now I have the opportunity to learn from it. No guarantee that I will, but the opportunity is there. Failure, on the other hand, is an active choice to stay stuck. Now, as someone who is a coach, that first person who fails and is willing to learn through that, I can help that person all day long. And twice on Sunday, that second person, I can't help that person. They're cheating.

Speaker A: Because ultimately the opposite of success is quitting more than it is failure, right? Uh, like, and failing, because you've got to fail. Every single thing you've ever done in your life, you failed to learn how to do it. All of it. Like, that's how you walk. Like, you failed to walk a lot, you know, you failed to use the bathroom properly a lot, you know, and then you figured it out like, uh. But usually through some kind of painful experience, like, oh, I need to figure this out, right? Like, it's. That failing process is really a mastery process, you know, and it's just what it is. Like, there's no. There's no way to shortcut that because the only true teacher is experience.

Speaker B: M.

Speaker A: You know, and it's not like, even if you hit a home run your first time at bat, it was an accident. It's not going to go like that the second time. And the third time, right? It just. It just. Most of us is not. If you think back to the best kiss of your life, like, oh, my gosh, was the most. Just the best kiss of my life. It's probably not the first one. We all have a first kiss story. Very rarely is the best kiss ever the first kiss, right? Because we don't know. We're just emotions and craziness. And you might be like, me and your teeth hit. I don't even know how that's possible when you're kissing, you know, But I got. I. It is. It only ever happened to me once, though. I can tell you that. It was the first one. There was no second kiss. Side note, in case you're wondering. Oh, man.

Speaker B: Like that. That is funny. Of all the different types of groups that you could be coaching, why choose entrepreneurs and founders?

Speaker A: I think entrepreneurs and founders are just what makes the world go round, right? Like that. We are the risk takers. We are the people who. You look at the number and it's like, hey, 95% of you, in three years, you're done. No chance of success. And we're like, yep, no problem. Not me. You know, What I mean we just, and we, and then we, we go and we fail and then we go and we fail and I failed so many times and, but it's, I'd rather, I'd rather fly and crash than never know what it's like to let go of the branch, you know, and, and that's. I'm not a burrower. I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a, a, I'm not a grazer. I want to fly. And I think the entrepreneurs in the world that we want to fly and, and yeah, we, that means we fall, that means we fail. I mean that it happens. But I love that. I love. It's, it's an expression of freedom, especially in the modern world that uh, I mean honestly with AI and what I'm seeing happening, a lot of people are going to be forced into this kind of freedom whether they want it or not. Uh, and we were the guys who chose it, you know, we just wanted it.

Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, for sure. And some of us kind of had it thrust upon us by.

Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, hell, I was eighth generation, you know, business owner for my, I mean that was just what was going to happen in my family. Of course it was easy in that business. And then when I got out I was like, well, this stuff is easy. And it's like, oh, I don't have an accountant, I don't have a hundred year history. I don't, I don't even have a credit rating on this business. Like, what do I do now?

Speaker B: Right, right. All that

Speaker A: suddenly wasn't easy.

Speaker B: No, no. If it was, more people would do it.

Speaker A: Yeah. And, and more people would stick with it. And not that everybody has to be it, you know, but I uh, also think that your, your entrepreneur founders are high achievers. They're really trying to do something big. They probably have no idea how big it. Having a kid. No one's ever ready to have a kid. No one's ever really ready. No one's ever really ready to start the business either. And my fifth kid, I wasn't ready. And by five you think, well, I know some things I do. But he was different than all the other ones. So

Speaker B: sure.

Speaker A: You know, you can't really prepare. And I think entrepreneurs the same way like you, you, you set out a certain, you think you see what's going to happen, but you don't. And so you have to become this adaptable person who knows how to duck, weave, get up when you, you know, fall fast, you know, but fall smart.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: I Think it's, uh. Uh, what's the book? It's a hunter gatherer book. But the. One of the books I read, the guy said, you know, it's okay to break your. Break arms and legs. Don't break your spine or skull. And I think entrepreneurs really will get with that. Like, yeah, if I break a finger, that's fine, but if I break my skull, that's. That's permanent, right? And so,

Speaker B: uh,

Speaker A: in entrepreneur and being a business owner is the same thing. Like, I mean, how do I know that? Because I sold my house, I invested all my money in this sure thing. That was amazing. There's no way this can fail. It's the purpose of my whole life. And I lost it all, you know? You know, just all of it. When you, when you sell the house and invest it all, because you know you're going to win, and five years later, you're way in the hole and you didn't win, uh, you're wondering, how are you going to pay for Thanksgiving dinner? You know, and the answer to that was a drunk driver hit our car and we got a settlement. Like, that's, That's. It was just bad. It just. But what did I do? I just started something new. I just. Okay, that's. That wasn't right. That's not the right way to do it. Like, okay, I gotta learn from this. I'm, um, not. It's not over. That doesn't mean just go, you know, work at the post office or whatever. Not that there's anything wrong with working at the post office. It's just not who I am. Like, there. There are some of us who were built to live in the gates and make sure that the city works. And there are some of us who were built to go out of those gates, see what's there, taste what's there, and, and. And really experience that. And that's. That's me. That's the. That's an entrepreneur. Those are my people,

Speaker B: for sure. I'm curious. I. When I was doing some of my research, I saw something that really caught my attention. What I saw was talking about, uh, growth. Personal, spiritual, and business growth. How can we integrate those?

Speaker A: Well, they're all the same thing. Like, you're. You. You are the thing. Like, you. You are an expression of God or the universe. It doesn't matter how you think of this. I don't want to go religious because. Because then people really immediately. But you are an expression of the universe or God or however you. You think of that, right? We. We love To Viktor Frankl talks a lot about this, right? So imagine if I had a cylinder, right? If I. So if I have a cylinder in my hand, um, and I point a light at it from the top, it's a circle, right? And if there was a sphere next to it that's the same size a light from the top, it's a circle. And if I had a cone next to that, a light from the top, it's a circle, right? And then if we do from the side, though, the cylinder looks like a rectangle, the sphere looks like a circle, and the cone now looks like a triangle, right? And so we'll. In shadow. Those things seem very, very, um, similar. Like, from the top they all look the same, and then from the side they all look different. Well, this is like looking at life, like from biology or from faith, or looking at life through business or family or whatever. Even though you look very different in business and you look in your physical fitness and your health than you look in your relationships, um, the truth is you're still the same thing. They're just different views of the same person. We fall into this trap, I think, a lot of times, at least as entrepreneurs. Business is easy because you can track the numbers. Well, guess what? Someone just made up the numbers in business, and then we found out the ones that work the best, right? Guess what you can do. You can make up numbers in your spirituality, you can make up numbers in your relationship, you can make up. And I have this way of tracking that across all five aspects of life, which for me is fitness, faith, family, finance, and then fun. Like, am I actually having joy in my life? Like, go figure. Like, if I. If I've optimized for fitness, faith, family, and finance and I hate my life, I'm not winning. I'm not. That's not the point. The point is not to be the best at these and hate everything. I've been there. I did that. And, you know, usually when that happens, you're fulfilling someone else's list. It wasn't actually your list in the first place. Um, but yeah, I think what you have to do, though, is you have to have the discipline of mind to say, hey, where am I in fitness? Right? What's my output ability? What am I taking in? And then what's my health? Where am I in family? What's my relationship to my birth family? What's my relationship to the family I've created with my wife, if I have kids? And then what's my relationship with other people? Like friends, people I choose to have around those, the people I just choose to be with. And finance is really easy, you know, simple but not easy, which is, hey, what's coming in, what's going out? And then how well am I able to manage that? In and out, right? How well can I repeat that? Um, and. And when you look at faith, it's the same thing. Like, what's bigger than me, right? If that's God, that's the universe, right? Do I really believe in myself? And then what's my purpose in between those two things? Right? These are the kind of the three aspects. And then fun is just easy. Am I, um. Um, do I have joy in my life? Yes or no? And when you break it down in those five facets of life, you start to see something. And one or two of those is going to be a cool engine for you to run forward. And one or two of those is probably an anchor in the water hanging behind the boat. Um, and if you start looking at all of them, you can start to kind of pick up the anchors and you can beef up the engines. But m. Most of us don't really need to beef up the engines. The engines are already working well with the anchors out. So if you could just pick up the anchor, life feels so much better. And as an entrepreneur, you're always focused on the bottom line and money. But guess what? If you're a CEO, founder, you are your business. So your family. Like, when you file for that divorce, let me tell you, your business is going to suffer in ways you haven't even imagined, right? If you have an existential crisis and fall into massive depression because you feel like your life has no purpose, or, you know, you don't reconcile the unseen part of life, guess what? Your business is going to fall over with you. Like it just does. Like it's what it is. So as the founder, you have an obligation not only to yourself, but to your employees, to everyone. Riding anybody, your customers are riding on the success of your business. Well, you'd better have your fitness, your faith, your family, your finances. And you better know how to have fun. Because you as a person are, uh, the most pivotal person in that organization. You know, it's going to rise and fall with you, especially if you're bootstrapped, small, and starting, you know, I mean, once you get to Apple size, maybe not, but here's what's funny. But then, look, everybody knows what's happening with the founders at those places. Why? Because the whole business runs on the founders, even at that level. And trust me, you're not Apple. And, uh, even Apple, it matters. So, you know, it's just kind of universal.

Speaker B: Sure. You know, um, my first book is coming out. Uh, it's called the F. As In Frank, the F6 secrets of relationships.

Speaker A: Awesome.

Speaker B: Uh, and these may sound eerily similar to what you just said.

Speaker A: Oh, that's great.

Speaker B: Faith, fashion, fitness, food, friendship and fun. Those six? Yeah, those. Those to me, are the six areas of a man's life that if he doesn't have them in order, everything else doesn't matter. For real. It doesn't have to be all of them. It can be just as you mentioned. It could be just one. If just one isn't right? M.

Speaker A: Yeah, but if it is just one, you're going to be lacking. You're going to feel that hole. Like, to me. Look, um, let me get something else right, too, because I also don't want to come off as a guy who's like, oh, let me show you how to be perfect. There is no perfect. There is no perfect. Perfection is one of the most important concepts that's absolutely misunderstood to the point of absurdity. Okay? Because without perfection, you're screwed. But knowing. But perfection is a lie at the same time, Right? So, uh, without perfection, you're screwed. Perfection, however, is a complete lie. It doesn't exist. Now, I'll tell you a different way of thinking about this. Without the horizon, you're screwed. But the horizon is not a real place. You will never in your life stand on the horizon. Okay? The horizon is a. Is a. Is a waypoint your brain, your mind creates. It manufactures the horizon, right? You. You. You look out over the ocean, and it's that point that the water touches the air, right? Well, guess what? The air touches the water everywhere on the ocean. It doesn't matter. Every square inch of the ocean touches air. It just does. Like, that's. But your mind will say, oh, that's the point. Right. Why? It's manufacturing a line to help you orient yourself.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: It allows you to orient your environment and to navigate. Right. Perfection. Same thing. Any endeavor in your life, your brain will what? Create an orientation tool called perfection. Oh, here's the ideal. Awesome. Why? So you can navigate towards that thing. But let me warn you, every step you take closer to it, it's going to move back just like it does with the horizon. Because your brain's going to now reorient. And now there's new navigation that has to take place. So perfection's super useful. It is because it helps you know where you want to Go. But thinking that you're going to touch it is silly. It's stupid. Actually, it's, uh, quite stupid. It's like saying, I'm going to stand on the horizon one day. You can walk all the way around the world. Even if you're cool enough to walk on water, you can walk all the way around and you're never going to stand on it. Now that doesn't mean. That is not an excuse to mediocrity. Is not because. Because we can be powerfully imperfect. Right? It's about powerfully imperfect. It's about impact. It's about I can achieve excellence. I might not be able to achieve perfection, but I can achieve excellence. And I'm. I'm going to go strive for that.

Speaker B: You mentioned before how you're not a fan of coaching. That comes from a, um, a hacks perspective or quick fixes. In other words, so what, why do you say that they're bad or they don't work?

Speaker A: Well, it. Five years of growth takes five years. It. Just because it's experience based. Okay, five years of growth takes five years of experience, period. Now, five years of growth can take 25 years. Five years of growth can take a lifetime. In fact, Meg, you never have it because you never take the first step. Okay, cool. That I can agree on. If you never have an experience, then, okay, you're not going to grow. You're not going. But the thing is, the problem with the hack is, and let me tell you, if you're a business owner who's ever had this thought, are you ready? I'm going to pay this guy, he's going to handle my ads and everything's going to be amazing. I think everybody's had that thought because, oh, it's an easy hack. I'll just pay for this and it'll be great. But then it turns out it never works out the right way. It never does. Because part of that stuff working is you figuring it out, you having the experience with it, right? So in order to get five years of growth, you need to have five years of experience. Who are the best baseball players? The guys who go to the All Stars. Not because they're inherently better than everyone else, but because since they get into All Stars now, they play, what, two seasons a year instead of one season a year. And if you play two seasons a year, it turns out you get twice, uh, or more better than the guys who only play one season a year. Right? Is maybe there was a small, you know, like outcome differential in the beginning, but once you keep playing, you'll notice the All Star teams just always have the same guys year after year after year. Well, yeah, because those are the guys playing twice as much. They're having twice the experience. And so when we say, here's the quick three steps to this so you don't have to experience any of the downside, that's silly. You're taking away the experience, which is the thing that actually teaches you. So there is no quick hack. Right. Unless you want to give the success to someone else, which is fine. But guess what? That can come back to really haunt you. Right?

Speaker B: Thanks for tuning in to part one of my conversation with Coach Kevin. I had a really good time with him here in part one. Just learning about his background, how he became a coach, how he was able to coach over 50,000 people, man, that's still. That number blows me away. And not only the difference that he made in his own life and the changes that had to take place there first, but then how he was able to help others and continues to help others improve their lives and improve their businesses. Hope you guys really enjoyed this one, but be on the lookout for part two because it's coming your way very, very soon. Once again, thanks for being here today. We'll talk to you guys next time. Bye, everybody.