The Human Advantage: Presence, Authenticity, and Authority with Michael Fineman

Angie: Nothing like a little guitar riff to start your Monday morning. Hello everybody, welcome to No More Mondays, the podcast where we believe three important things humans still matter. Yes, that's you. Mediocrity is expensive, and ownership changes everything.

As always, I am your host, Angie Callen. And today we are talking all about how you show up and why that may matter more than you think. Today, I am joined by Michael Feynman, speaker, communication expert, and what he calls the dot connector. He works with leaders, businesses, and entrepreneurs to help them communicate in a way that actually connects meaningfully, not just share information, but connect with real relationships and real impact in mind.

And today we're going to dig into how to build presence, improve communication skills, and how to connect dots between who you are and how others experience you in this world. Michael, welcome to No More Mondays. Unknown: Thank you. Thanks for having me, Angie.

It's great to see you. Angie: I am super excited about this. Michael is a friend from the Unconference Crew, for those of you that listen regularly and have gotten to know where my people come from, and you know, automatically being in the room that is the unconference, for those of you that don't know, it is saying it is a giant networking event, very much dilutes it, but it is a basically a structureless room with 100 meaningful people in it. So to say you are a dot connector who walks into that kind of space makes a lot of sense.

And what I want to know is, how do you see yourself as a dot connector? What do you mean, and what dots are you helping connect? Unknown: That's great, great question. Thank you.

And it was really fun, and I've been.. this is the second one I've been to, and I'm blessed to be able to go to the third as well, which is really exciting. Oh, yeah, me too. I'll see you there.

I love people, so I love to connect with people. I want to know what makes them tick. I don't want to talk about the weather. I don't care about that.

I live in Florida, it's sunny, that's the end, right? But what makes you tick? Tell me about your life. Tell me about your kids.

What gets you excited? And so when I go to meet people, especially at a networking event, people are so taken aback because I don't ever talk about business. I never get to it. I'm not really..

I'm not there for that. I just want to meet people. I want to get to know them, and then if we do something that might have synergy, cool. Let's connect on that too.

But that's not my MO. Angie: Yeah, which should.. I'll prove that in real time. So, former engineer who loves people, and I go to events wearing a shirt that literally says human on.

I had them made first for an AI event where I was speaking about being a human in the age of AI, and then it became, it became such a marketing trick that I was like, I'm gonna make this part of my brand, and so I'm outside recording an episode of Midweek Momentum, for those of you that didn't know, I drop a mini solo episode every Wednesday afternoon at 2pm and Michael and his wife were standing out there, and I record, and I go to walk past him, and you grabbed me immediately, because the thing that we both commonly love was literally written on my shirt, and that was the way that we started connecting dots, Unknown: and mine.

You remember what mine said? Angie: What did yours say? That's right, it was literally like a dot connection via imprint on T-shirts. Yeah, Unknown: mine said authenticity is my superpower, and I had those made up too.

Angie: Yes, which, by the way, oh, that was the extra piece is mine on the back says the modern coach powered by authenticity, and so this is the fun thing when we talk about real meaningful connection that allows us to see each other and connect with each other in an authentic way, Unknown: right. Exactly, and that, and then we got deep into the AI. We were geeking out on that. How AI will never be..

I don't know that there's ever going to be a time that AI is going to be able to do what just happened there on that patio, right on that balcony. I don't think that will ever be coded in, I don't think it's possible, because it's a, I think also, and I'm a faith-based guy, so I don't go down too many weird trails, but I believe in vibration and energy, and whatever that is, a gazelle, when they're drinking water, they don't need to ask the lion if he's hungry, they know if a lion's coming by, whether he's hungry or not, they know if he has a full belly or not, because they can feel it, they can sense it.

And I think the same thing happens with people. I saw you, and I'm like, "Oh, that's my buddy, I need to go meet her. Angie: Yeah, there is a certain level, like it's interesting when we create, when we think about dot connectors. I definitely think there are people out there who are natural connectors, both from like a magnetic energy kind of thing with each other, but then the ability to match energy is kind of like in other people, and I agree with you, I am not a woo woo person, but God gave us energy, so there you go, and so to me I want to understand a little bit more about how this, how this relates to everybody out there, so like I think a good way to probably frame it.

Is like what I know, what it is. You started off with something I completely agree with, which is I love people, and I can talk a lot, as long as it is about something I don't like. Small talk, because sorry, it feels like a little bit of a waste of time. And so this to me relates to this idea of what, in your opinion, is the difference between somebody who shares information and somebody who actually connects.

Unknown: There's a huge difference, and I see speakers, I watch them very intently, because that's really what I'm into. And you know, when you connect with a speaker, let's just talk about from the audience, when you connect with a speaker, when that feels like they're just talking to you, like they're literally, they've read your mail somehow, and they, they're just speaking into you, and that message was for you that day, that time, you connect with them. Well, that's not by accident, from stage, if you're a speaker that can connect, you can communicate to connect, you can manufacture that, and it doesn't make it any less authentic.

It's just that you're taking the time to connect with people while you're sharing the message. You're still going to teach the information, you're still going to share it, but are you connecting with the audience on a level that makes them feel seen and heard, because you're speaking words that they've thought and haven't put into words, generally. If you're, if you, if you've researched enough what problem you're trying to solve, you know the depth of the problem really well.

So you're speaking this language that has gone through their head that they've never spoken out loud, but now you're making direct eye contact with them while you're doing it, and they're like, oh my gosh, they're talking to me, Angie: they're talking to me, Unknown: or you don't, and you shift too much, and you move too much, and you don't focus on one person at a time, and the same happens one on one. I am like glitter and sequence catches my eye, man. I'm like a squirrel, like a squall guy.

It's terrible. I'm like a dog sometimes. I'm like, whoop, whoop, whoop. And when I'm in a room, I have to train myself to stay on.

Don't let what's happening behind them catch my eye, because I'll literally, it'll pull me away. And so I've made it a point in my life, when I'm with somebody, I'm with somebody, I'm talking to them, you know. And as a speaker, you know, you have a line of people that want to talk to you that are looking over the shoulder of the person you're speaking to, trying to get your eye contact. And the key is, don't do that, don't let it affect you, because you're only present with that person for what, 30 seconds to a minute, maybe.

Give, who knows what Angie: kind of impact you can have on somebody if you're fully present to them for 30 seconds to one minute after you were actually present to them for the 27 minutes you were also on stage, and that's what I think Unknown: sometimes Angie: we, we forget, and I'm so glad you brought up the word presence, because I want to talk more about that, but Unknown: yeah, Angie: I can't help but go left turn on this speaker thing for a second, because Michael and I have talked enough to know that we both love people, but we also do like technology and what it enables humans to do, but I think that there's a bad thing it's enabling people to do in the speaker world, and that is create, create content that they can't deliver from the stage and maintain that connection, right, because they don't have the natural presence or the communication skills to deliver on something that AI helped them create, and that that is a disconnect in this connection, in this conversation about dot connection, Unknown: that's right, and they don't have a deep understanding of the problem.

I think you should not speak on anything that you do not understand deeply, because you're gonna get caught eventually, Angie: especially when case in point that line will will be the will be the trap, because recently I was in Tennessee in a town 45 minutes outside of Nashville, right near the Kentucky border, which is critical to the story, because I went to a women's business luncheon and was the keynote speaker in How to Advance Your Career as a Female in a Male-Dominated Environment, which is a very interesting conversation to have with 120 southern Bibles staring at you, right, and let's let me tell you that line that formed after, and it was people who had like deep stuff that I'm like, "Y'all, this is three coaching sessions, not 30 seconds, while the line is queued, right?

And if I had stood up there and spoken about that as a female who had never experienced it or didn't coach people through it, I would not have been able to help those people in a three minute snapshot, instead of like having a three hour coaching session, so you can get caught if you put yourself in situations where you don't have the authority to connect and you lack the presence to do so, and so this stood out to me, which is why I'm glad you brought it up, because I think a lot of times we get caught up in in connection is tied to like perfection.

And you know we try to get the words right, but we get like the presence and just the humanism kind of wrong, and so I want you to speak more about that, and kind of what you see as like presence and authenticity playing a role in that ability. Connect, Unknown: that's great. Yeah, and I'm going to break this down, because this is something I love to talk about the world calls it confidence. At this level, you're on stage, you're confident, meaning you know what you're talking about.

You're confident. It's really not confidence. Confidence is a surface level thing. Below that is your authenticity, right, meaning that you're really coming from what you believe.

You're not stating what you read on AI, you're not plagiarizing a book or a speaker that you heard, you're speaking from what you're passionate about, what you really believe. So, you're at this level of authenticity, which gives you authority, but really, let's take it a level further down, and it's really about identity. If you know your true identity really well, that gives you authority, that gives you confidence. And so, for me, I can speak in front of 3000 people.

I do not need one of them to like me. I want them to, because I love people, and I want to have a million friends, but I don't need them to, because I'm so solid on my identity, who I am, whose I am, that you can't sway me from that. An external pressure can't change, or an opinion can't change who I am. So I am there to serve.

If they don't receive it, okay, Angie: maybe they're in the wrong room, Unknown: but I'm doing the right thing that I believe in, that I'm passionate about, that I'm authentic about, that my identity speaks to, which gives me more than confidence. Angie: I love this idea of kind of like it's like almost like bottom up, top down, right, because in a way you can't really have identity if you don't have the foundation of confidence layered with, you know, an authentic ability to connect, which supports this feeling of authenticity that is really rooted in identity, right?

They all layer up, and you can't, you really can't have the top of the pyramid unless you have, like, built the foundation Unknown: exactly. That's exactly it. And I think when people hear it, you know, they have the same reaction you did. They're like, "Oh my gosh, it never really thought through that.

Well, I learned that by watching my son and his friends on the basketball court as they were growing up playing sports, and I realized the kids that were highly anxious and were dealing with confidence issues with my son dealt with really were based on being themselves, which he wasn't. He was trying to be one of them, not him. And really came down to a lack of understanding of identity. Once he got a hold of that, the shift was unbelievable.

He already had the skills, he already had the talents, and this goes.. let's relate this to business. You already have the skill sets, you already have the talents, you might need to hone them, but the desire that's in your heart means that you have a gift to work that out, right? You can walk that out with what you're gifted with, that that's why you desire it, that's I believe comes right from him.

Yep, but with that, you do need to hone it, you need to work on it, and you can't just wing it, like, like you said, people are trying to take AI tools, develop something, and go create a program. Well, it's not going to work if it's not what you believe, not, and you know it's really obvious now. Like, it's like a three year old with cake on their hands and face that says they didn't eat the cake. I could see it, you it Angie: hand in the cookie jar.

I'm going to give you an example. I feel like you're just like you are hitting every button of recent speaking experiences that just validate everything we're talking about, because again, the human shirt was made because I was the one speaker at an AI conference about being human in the age of AI, and I was the keynote kickoff on the third day. I went to the whole conference, and I sit down at the beginning of this thing. The first speaker comes on and talks about how you need to create an AI clone video of yourself, so you can get 3 million views on YouTube, right?

And I'm like, cool. And then the second speaker gets up and fast chalked. I'm a fast talker, and this guy, I was like, this is a ridiculous level of fast talking, and he's talking about how you AI arbitrage a business you don't know anything about, but you can set up your sales sign tomorrow, and you don't need to know anything about it. You can start making money immediately.

And I am sitting here thinking two things, how the heck are you going to handle customer service when shit starts breaking because you don't know it, and second of all, I'm sitting there going, oh my gosh, I have to get up on this stage and talk about how to be a human, but here's the thing, I knew, and I was convicted that that was why I was in that space, and so when it came time to do it, I completely forgot about the fact that I was the odd man out. And what happened was amazing connection, because people needed that conversation so much within the otherwise AI being shoved down your down your throat, and so that's the thing, is you don't ever know who needs to hear your story, or who needs you to be present to them, or who needs a connection you might be able to create or have Unknown: agreed, and my friend says he's a scientist, and he said a fruit doesn't grow tree for itself, or a tree does not grow fruit for itself, it's for others.

So, whatever fruit you're producing is not for you to eat anyway. But not having been at that event with you, I already know that when somebody goes really fast, they've tried to memorize their keynote, and they're trying to get through it as fast as they can, so they don't forget, which means they don't know the content. Angie: Yeah, and that is the let's please take the left turn again with me, because we can't help as people who are natural communicators and speakers, that's what I'm seeing, where the AI is disrupting, and this is important, whether you're on stage or you're communicating in general, to know where and where and when and how to deploy it to be AI enabled a human on purpose and not just an AI replacement, because what I am seeing is AI is giving people this content and the person does not have enough experience or wherewithal to know how much is reasonable to deliver in 37 minutes, and so their excuse to shove way too much into 37 minutes is, you better get ready, because I talk fast, but ultimately that nothing gets retained in that kind of environment, that is a scenario to create disconnection and lack of presence to take it back to our core theme today, Unknown: and distrust on a lower level, right, a distrust.

It's funny, I don't know. I've read up a little bit on the Neuralink that Elon Musk created, but I haven't gone deep into it. Maybe you have with your engineer mind, but the thing about Neuralink is it's designed to enhance your thinking, to add to, not to replace, and I think that is the common misconception with AI tools in general. Chat cloud doesn't matter which one you're using, people are trying to replace what they're doing.

And I heard of this study where they had all these students take a test, and then they gave them open book on the test with AI. You could use AI for the whole test, and afterwards they asked the students how they did, and they all thought they did the same, or probably better. And the truth is, they were like 40% less effective with AI and chat, because it was wrong, and that's the thing people don't understand, is it can't think like us. It does some great things.

I love the tools, but they're limited, and you've got to keep it there. Angie: We still drive the train people. Unknown: That's right. Angie: At best, AI is in the passenger car, better if it is in the caboose, and you dictate how it is used, and this is important as we talk about organic connection, being present as a human, showing up authentically, knowing how to have authority and building identity, right, your, your whole stack relies on human skills, right.

And so, if we go back to that kind of idea of this stack that is separate from AI, AI is there to augment all of this, right? Unknown: Right. Angie: How, what do you think separately from AI gets in the way of people showing up authentically and being able to create meaningful connections? Unknown: Easy imposter syndrome.

Oh, Angie: tell me more. Unknown: Everyone is excited about a new project until it's them on the line, and if you do not have confidence, authenticity, identity locked, you are going to worry about what everyone thinks a lot, and if you don't know the content and you built it on AI, and you're just repeating it, you're going to freak out even more because you really don't know it, and you know internally you're trying to present as if you know it, but you know you don't. Angie: Yes, Unknown: when that's happening, it's a recipe for disaster.

People still buy from people. Angie: Trust, you said trust earlier, and I'm thinking that that's like the name, that's like the, the one-word title of this episode. Unknown: It's huge, it's everything. And, but you know, my stack that we talked about, all the things that I'm offering, is human advantage in a machine world.

We have the advantage because we know how to speak to someone's heart, we know how to speak to someone's problems, we know how to love on somebody and serve them without asking for anything in return, even if we have an offer and they take it or don't take it, we still serve them, right? Yes, and that is the difference. And I think what you're going to see now, I think we talked about this a little bit at the event in Sarasota on conference. Reels, let's just look at reels, okay?

Reels are so fake now that. A cop isn't even a cop anymore at the window, right? That guy's arguing with, you know, it's not a real cop, they're not even wearing a real uniform, but we know that, and we still watch that crap somehow that's running tons and tons of hours. Why is that?

Well, we, we can make the connect that it's just entertainment, but the moment they would try to sell something, we'd, we would immediately go, no, no, that's fake, because it doesn't matter while we're using it for entertainment, but if we're using it to grow, we're not going to touch that. Angie: Yeah. Oh, that's an interesting thing to think about. So, and I want to talk more about, because authenticity and authority is like your jam, and it's, and to me it comes from a genuine place of just loving people, wanting to connect in a real, in a real way.

In this, I think, is why you and I connected in a real way within 25 seconds, because I don't know how to be anything other than I am. Sorry, it's not in this like unapologetically me way, because that's not authentic, right? That's posturing to pretend to be authentic, and so I'm curious, where you see that coming into play now, because authenticity is a little bit of a buzzword, and that makes me mad, but I also wonder, like, just as much as the inability to know and trust yourself and be and know your identity to go into those rooms confidently, I also think authenticity, it can be an excuse to avoid actually communicating or connecting better.

What are your thoughts on that? Unknown: Yes, especially when someone says, well, I'm an introvert, so I can't meet people, right? Angie: Yeah, introverts are usually better in a room than you and me because they listen, Unknown: and on stage, is that crazy? Angie: Yeah, Unknown: yeah, but you're right, you know.

I think it's not. I've talked to a lot of people about this, and I said, well, you're a super connector because you have that skill set. Yeah, I did hone that skill set, probably being in sales and high ticket sales, you know, for a good part of my career in marketing and understanding, or I don't know about understanding ever, but really studying the psychology of people and what makes them tick and what makes them pull the trigger in deals, what makes them pause, what makes them move away, because I always came at it from a place of servanthood, so and that's the only mind shift that really has to happen, right?

When speakers are going up on stage, I was emceeing an event with Les Brown a couple years ago, he's a great friend, mentored me in speaking, and what a blessing. And I love this guy, but when we were, I was emceeing this event, we had a lot of new speakers as trainees, and some of them were like literally shaking, getting ready to go up, and a friend of mine, John Bates, who trains TEDx speakers, came up, and he said, I was, you know, praying with them and speaking words of affirmation, and he came up, and he said, "Hey, I'm here to serve, no time for nerves, say that three times, and I was like, "Oh my god, John, stealing that.

That's amazing. And when you come from that place, I'm here to serve no time for nerves, man. All the everything comes off, the mask comes off, everything comes off. It doesn't matter what your role is in a company.

God's no respecter of man, but if they're following you because of your mask, because of your title, you'll get this far, take your mask off and watch what happens. Angie: So, okay, I'm gonna put you on the spot. All right, practically, I practically.. how does somebody do that?

So, what is a.. what is a step somebody out there can make if they're going.. these two are talking to me, right? We're that..

we're that.. we're making eye contact through the camera right now, Unknown: right. Angie: We're talking to somebody out there who's like, okay, I haven't been present, I have, or I haven't been present in my way, and I'm wearing a mask. How do they take it off, very practically speaking, other than just the take it off, right?

What do they do? Unknown: They go serve people, go see how many people at that event you can help. Don't tell them what you do unless they ask. Don't ask for anything in return.

Go see who you can help. Hey, tell me about what you're doing. People love to talk about what themselves. If you're the person asking a lot of questions about them, you may have never said one thing about yourself, and when they walk away, they go, "Wow, that guy is awesome.

Angie: Yep, Unknown: they don't know anything about me, but all I did was ask, "What are you doing, really? Where do you live? Oh, you have kids. I'm asking questions that gives them permission to talk about themselves.

And then they.. I say, "Well, what are you doing? What are you excited about? What's happening in your life.

Oh, I'm launching this book, and immediately I'm really good at remembering, but CRMs are fantastic if you're not. So I will say on the spot, "Hey, would it be okay if I connected with you with a few friends that I think might align with what you're doing? And they go, "Oh my god, yeah, please, and I'm like, "Great, because I've got this. Person in particular, I'm thinking about, you've got to meet her, she's a rock star, and that's it.

It's over, and I walk away. I don't ask for anything. Now, here's what normally happens when you're doing that. People are so fascinated by that.

By the time that conversation's over, three or four people have gathered. Yep, I don't have to. It's not a one on one anymore. People are wanting to know what is going on, because I've gotten this person to talk about what they're passionate about, what they're excited about, and everyone's attracted to that authenticity that I brought up, Angie: energy that creates.

Unknown: Boom, that's it. And that's how you, that's how you connect, Angie: you know. My friend Justin, I'm going to give you a zinger that's like the serve and nerves thing, my friend Justin Schenk, shout out Justin, who wrote the forward to my book, apparently these are impactful people to Unknown: us. Come on, Angie: says something very..

I love how he phrases this in, in, you know, networking or in connecting is to be more interested instead of interesting, and to me that goes back to what you're saying about this. I also, I love people. I don't like talking about myself. So, my coping mechanism for these types of environments is to be super curious and make them talk about themselves, because while I don't like that, most people don't ever have a space to do that, and if they do, don't feel heard.

So, if you are the one who is interested in them, and hears them, you are creating real connection and desire and energy, and that's going to radiate out. Unknown: It does. Absolutely, you're right. You're right.

Not that Angie: hard. It Unknown: isn't that hard. It's the problem is that people that go to networking events, you know, some of them are really cringy, right. That's not fun to be there, but if they're there, they're like, well, if I'm here, I better get something out of it.

You've already lost, Angie: you are, that is the, and that in there, that is why networking, in the, in the fundamental sense, not, you know, when you're with other meaningful connectors, that to me is why it's awkward and cringy, and why I have a hard time with it, and I have no poker face, and so, like, if you're ever at a networking event where they go around to introduce themselves, I've had friends that are like, Angie, we know exactly what you're thinking when the cringy people, when the cringy people come up to the mic, right, that's why Unknown: I don't either.

I had this friend once, and when I was running a Les Brown Prodigy program with Les, she was in it, and she wanted to be well, she wanted to help, and she, brilliant young lady, came up, flew, you know, came up to where I lived, and we, I met for her for lunch, and she was telling me a lot of these things spiritually that I did not agree with, and I did not know, but the whole time I'm going like this, and I had no idea I was doing it, I'm listening, and I'm just going, and I didn't say anything, and she goes, "Why are you shaking your head?

"No, and I went, "I am so sorry, but I guess now I better tell you why. Yeah, but talking about no poker face, I had no idea. Angie: Now that said, that's an interesting just tidbit that relates to all this conversation, because I'm going to go on a limb and guess the two of you were still able to have a genuine, authentic conversation about my best friends. See, I walked her down the aisle when she Unknown: got married.

Yeah, Angie: look at that. Unknown: Yeah, Angie: you can survive difference of opinion. Maybe civil discourse is not dead, that's a conversation for another podcast. Unknown: Exactly, Angie: I still keep going back to those layers of like confidence and authenticity that builds authority that leads to authenticity, and I know you're doing some cool work in the space that helps gel all that together.

So, tell us more about it. Unknown: Yeah, so I created kind of an ecosystem, and we're launching programs one by one to let them get a little bit of leverage before we drop the other, but I created an ecosystem. I wrote a book called The Man with the Wooden Mouth, and Les Brown wrote the forward to that, which was really cool, and it's about finding your authentic voice, and it's kind of like a Who Moved My Cheese parable type story, pretty cool. I really enjoyed writing it.

So then I wrote another one called Connect the Dots, and again, kind of a parable story about a dot that lives on the great page, right? And just this really cool story about it, about being a connector without trying to get anything from, but while those were kind of stewing and brewing, and we're building out, you know, programs and all these things. I started writing this other book, kind of accidentally, about my walk, and I called it The Authority Drift, and it was that over time I made a lot of decisions that would smooth things over, or make the room work, or make something go, or, you know, create success, create more dollars.

They weren't wrong, they weren't, you know, they weren't off color, or you know, they weren't evil, they weren't any of those things, but they were not exactly where I would come from. I just had to make the decision quick, I felt like, and move on, but oh. Over time I'd made so many of those micro decisions that were just a little bit off base that I'd gotten off track, and I didn't even know what was going on. All I knew is I didn't feel settled, and I couldn't make decisions, and I was struggling with asking five people the same question before I pulled the trigger when I used to just move, and everything felt heavy and hard, and there was, you know, constant burden of being worn out and tired, and I realized what had happened.

I'd gotten off course, so as a boat guy, I started thinking about my compass, and I got myself back on course, and then created some rules around that for myself to stay on track, so I didn't move. What I learned through that time, though, is when you're the one in the middle of the storm that yells steady as she goes, "Hold your mark, don't don't vary" when everyone else around you is freaking out, but you're the one holding the line and you're not letting go, and that storm subsides, and you turn around, they're looking at you like a big puppy, you know, they're like, oh my gosh, Angie: oh yeah, and Unknown: instantly wherever I go, they will follow.

Why? I didn't know that's what was happening, but when I deconstructed it, I realized that was it, and then I started talking to guys and girls about it, I realized almost everyone of a high level of success has this external thing that looks amazing, and internally they feel so unsettled, and I chapter seven. Why? Yes, that's why you and I get along so well, because we really think similarly.

Angie: Yeah, and what.. and here's what I think, is I love this. Last week, Kent Julian was on the show, and yeah, we all love Ken. I Unknown: trained with him, he taught me so much, Angie: and he, speaking of just servant heart, right?

But he talked a lot about this drift, he didn't call it that, and a lot of times we don't realize it's happening until the compounding effects make it obvious, or for me it was like partially writing a book that helped me like synthesize what was happening at the time into what now I've learned and what was what the experience what was really going on, but he talked about the same thing, where like this compounding effect had taken him further and further and further from the purpose and the why, and it wasn't like disastrous things, but it was like, oh, I'm gonna go take this decision because it's more financially lucrative, right?

So that's one step that then the next step from that compounds and compounds until all of a sudden it comes full circle, and you realize you've just kind of lost the focus. So I love this idea of like, you have an authority, you have a purpose, we have to be cautious, there's a tolerance in which you play in the margins, but you can't drift entirely from it. Or now you've been taken off your journey. Unknown: Well, and again, you're just..

you become emotionally taxed. You are unclear whether your moves are actually clean. Everything you're competent, but everything internally is noisy. What I learned, though, is after this work, and I've taken several people through it now, and I'm taking more through it as we speak.

What I've learned is they not only become more steady internally, but they become more honest without becoming softer. They can still be the high D on the disc, right? I'm a high ID, but their yes becomes clear, their no becomes clear. They're less driven by external pressure or optics or urgency, and they're, they're anchored spiritually.

They believe in what they say. And now you can't manipulate those people because they're locked in. You, they're not fragmented. They trust themselves because they're back to center and now that they trust themselves, you can't sway those guys or girls well, and Angie: that to me goes back to the pyramid, right?

They're rooted in an identity that it comes from a layer of confidence built through authenticity and authority that lets them say this is what I am, what I care about, these are my boundaries, and you know where you can and cannot cross them, and it just becomes more almost matter of fact than this, like hardcore, I got to set boundaries kind of a thing, because we, and I say we, because I feel like my experience going through a business that got out of control and led to pretty much borderline burnout, and then having to like reverse engineer that does really help you understand what you value and how that aligns with the purpose and the and the journey that you're on, so that you can really be rooted in that identity, Unknown: that's right, and I'll take it down even maybe just a hair deeper in that if you know if you're confident because you're your authentic self and you know your identity, that is the only time you can actually hold true authority.

Angie: Ah, it's so funny how those all interact. So, there is an up and a down, but then there's a sideways, because that authority is organically achieved and maintained. It isn't imposter syndrome internally. Yes, Unknown: has to happen internally.

Way before it happens externally, but it's noticeable. Angie: Yeah, and to, and to tie this back, to connect all the dots, to connecting the dots, it's hard to genuinely connect with other people and or yourself if you don't have that top-down and sideways relationship with the confidence, your own authenticity, your authority, and your identity Unknown: stage presence. How many people will walk out? Do you need to know where they are emotionally before they start talking, or do you already know?

Angie: You can tell, you can feel it Unknown: immediately. Angie: Yeah, I mean, within three words, I know what kind of energy I'm about to get. Unknown: You can almost see it by the way they walk out, if you're paying attention. And so you, how are you sharing with all these people from a place of authority?

If you don't have your identity locked, you don't, you're not being authentic, and therefore you're not confident. You're going really, really fast to knock it out. Angie: Okay, so exciting moment. As I can't believe I have to like wrap this up.

I wanted, like, this is just.. I think that we could probably talk in circles about this, and pretty sure, Unknown: yeah. And let's make a plan to do that. Angie: Yes, we will.

Please stay tuned for 12 more episodes. Go back to tying this into anybody out there listening. What are your best pieces of advice to build those tiers of confidence and authenticity and authority rooted in identity, identity rooted in authority. Unknown: We are in a really fast-paced busy world.

The only place you're going to find those things is in stillness, and then quiet. That's really hard to do for a guy like me, that's a mover shaker. I consider myself a dot connector, but the only place that I'm going to find my true root of identity is by being really still and really quiet. Now, for me, I'm a faith guy, that's when I start to heal this, hear the small still voice of God.

But if I don't get still long enough for all the junk in my day to get out of my head and beyond, I'll never find that place, and I'm sure of it. And as much as I say it in the negative, it's as easy as that, if you will commit to doing that daily, people call it meditation, call it whatever you want. Get out of your environment, get outside somewhere if you can, get in the woods, you know, get it, go to the beach if you're near a beach, go somewhere, and just sit, just be still.

Angie: I think that we are, I mean, I'm to say I'm going to take, I think, out of it. We're afraid to be with ourselves because society is so fast moving. We are constantly connected and distracted, which gives us the illusion of real connection to others and to ourselves, but ultimately the complete opposite is the truth, and we are more disconnected from each else from each other and ourselves because we are not willing to spend time with ourselves. How's that for a catch 22 Unknown: Exactly, you're right.

Angie: Yeah, Unknown: you're right. You Angie: can't be alone with yourself. Yeah, Unknown: well, it's scary because you have to admit the things that you're doing wrong, you have to look at the things you rush past, you have to look at the things you're supposed to be doing, and you aren't right, that's all that happens in quiet. Angie: Yeah, Unknown: but if you'll just be at peace with yourself and who you are, and allow yourself to make mistakes, and you know me as a father, I always relate my relationship with God to my relationship with my son.

It's easy for me to see that, but you know, not everyone has kids, some have furry kids, right? So, just getting to that place of thinking about your relationship with your parents when you were little, and that trust factor, and the fact that you knew they had your back, going to that place, you know, go, if your parents have passed, go sit, be still, be with your parents, you know, it's just not that hard, Angie, and everyone's afraid of it, because it takes guts to do that, but, Angie: and you may not, I mean, and not to go negative towards this, because I, you know, I, one, want to leave this on a positive note, but two, you have to be willing to be okay with what you find, and that's why I believe we don't start right, is because we fear what we'll find, but ultimately you're a more complete, authentic, genuine human in touch with your identity, which gives you the ability to connect with others if you do that work and are more connected with yourself.

If Unknown: you don't know your shortcomings and your strong points, you're not being authentic, not with yourself. If you're not being authentic with yourself, you can't be authentic with others. Angie: Yeah, and then authority is never, is never going to come. It's, it is both up, it's both up and down, sideways and circular, Unknown: but it's not found authority, it is.

Angie: And Unknown: sound authority is rediscovered, it's already there, you just have to return to it. Angie: Yeah, the cliche that we have everything inside of us that we already need, I believe is cliche for a reason. Yep, Unknown: agreed. There Angie: you go.

Unknown: Agreed. How's that? Angie: For how's that for, man? We went, we got no mom down.

I like it. Yeah, I had no doubt that was gonna happen. Human who knows human. And so, before we say adieu to each other and everyone out there, where do people find you and find out more about the ecosystem and the authority drift and books and all the things?

Yeah, Unknown: so Mike f3 60.com is the best place we are in the process right now of full launch on Authority Drift, the book, and the programs with it. We should be full launch within. We had an April 15 date, I think it will be maybe a week later, so sometime this April it will come out, but at Mike f3 60 com, you can connect with me there, and you'll see all of the things that I offer now, also.

But what's coming, which is really cool, Angie: awesome. And, of course, if you're watching here on LinkedIn, follow him here. We're connected, he's easy to find, and out there on social media world, because this is a worthy social connection to help you be more genuinely authentically connected. Michael Feynman, thank you so much for joining me today.

Unknown: Thank you for having me. You have an awesome show, I love it. Angie: Thank you. This has been, I mean, you've made it an awesome show today, and this was a really great conversation about communications, presence, and connection, not just with others, but with ourselves and the purpose that we are meant to carry out and serve in this world, and so if this conversation got all of you out there thinking about how you're showing up or not, reach out to us, share it with somebody else who needs to hear it, and leave us a rating, because it helps us bring more conversations to you.

So I appreciate Michael, you for being here. Thank you again. Unknown: Thank you, Angie: and thank you out there for spending your Monday morning with us. If you are ready to take a little bit more ownership over yourself and your ability to connect, don't forget to check out Scary Good: Discovering Life Beyond the Sunday Scaries.

It is my book. It is out there in the world and available now at Scary goodread.com Until next time, here's to fewer Sunday scaries, and no more Mondays.