Recover from Burnout and Reclaim Your Purpose with Katrina Stephenson

Welcome to Milestone Moments, the show where we explore the journeys that lead to success. I'm Sheila Slick, your host and founder of Five Milestones. In every episode, we will bring you insights from the minds of entrepreneurs, leaders and experts who will share not just their expertise, but the milestone moments that have reshaped their journeys and led to significant achievements. So if you're looking for motivation, you're in the right place.

Subscribe now and discover the milestones that mark the path to success. Welcome to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business and Leadership. I'm your host, Sheila Slick. And today, we're honored to welcome Katrina Stevenson.

She is founder and CEO of Nurse to Nurse Peer Support and Mindful Nurse Gardener. Katrina is a leader in trauma -sensitive care with over 20 years of nursing experience. She has transformed her own journey from compassion fatigue to healing into a mission to support others. And through her initiatives, she's breaking the silence around mental health in health care and showing that burnout isn't the end.

It's the beginning of Bloom. Please join me in welcoming Katrina Stevenson to the show today. Yeah, thank you, Sheila. Yeah, I'm excited to be here.

I always love to begin asking my guests, why? Why do you do what you do today? Yeah, that's a big open question. I was looking at your name of your podcast and I was like, milestones.

I'm like, oh my God, I've had so many milestones. If I look across my life and why I came to do what I do, I can remember there was this teacher I had in grade one. I'm not going to go back and tell you it all, but he asked us what we wanted to be in a thing. And I said, nurse.

And so I guess I've known from a very young age that that's what I was going to do. But when I came to be a teenager and then, you know, you go off and they're like, oh, Katrina, you'd be a great nurse. You'd be a great nurse. I had to like get over my rebellious streak and say, yeah, OK, I guess I will be a nurse, even though I wanted to be a nurse.

Right. So I did lots of things before I came to become a nurse. I was about 28 when I became a nurse. So I lived some life and.

done a lot of different jobs so why I became a nurse was not just because people told me to because when I did it I was ready to do it so um you know I have always been the kind of person that supports uh the underdog I do not like To see others maltreat it, not treat it well. I don't like to. It hurts my heart. It hurts my heart when people are just pushed to the margins of society.

And we see it all the time, right? So it was natural that I gravitated towards mental health, substance use, you know, in that type of nursing. And obviously. trauma as well as part of that so I do what I do because I love it um and I'll we'll get into it but at one point I thought I was never going to be a nurse again uh why I'm here and I'm nursing so I'm nursing in a different way uh yeah and we'll get into that though I love that you since you were a girl it sounds like you knew you wanted to be a nurse Just curious, is anyone in your family a nurse?

Did you meet a really nice nurse? Yeah, my grandma was a nurse, my dad's mom. And my mom and her family worked within the hospital and did like cooking and cleaning. And in the small area, we grew up in the prairies of Manitoba in Canada.

And so there was that influence. And I was really close to my grandma. And I am, I am, we hold the same kind of energy. Her and I, we're very, yeah, we, we, yeah, we just, we're a lot alike.

So yeah, that's kind of what I saw. I have aunts that are nurses, cousins that have become nurses. There's some doctors in there. Yeah, service work, caring for others.

And it's kind of my natural way. I've always, even when I was younger, they would always say I'm the mom of the group. And I would always have like something in my bag that someone could have or just caretaking, looking after others, loving others. That's beautiful.

I love how there's so much family around you and your grandma, you're following her footsteps. I don't know if the other relatives you mentioned are all stem from. That one grandma, but I love that it's almost, you know, like within the family. It is, yeah.

And so at what point did you decide to turn your own nursing experience into a mission to support other nurses? I'll go back a bit so I'm a registered nurse I have my bachelor of science in nursing and before that I was an LPN so licensed practical nurse and so I experienced like frontline working in Emerge. I've worked all over the hospital. When I first became an LPN, I was a float nurse.

So I would float all over the hospital. And I ended up going a lot of times down into the emergency and they utilized LPNs down there. So that was something I really enjoyed. I liked the crisis work.

I really enjoyed meeting people in that space, not because they were in pain, but I felt like I was good at it. And so I ended up becoming an RN right away because I wasn't utilized as I knew I could be utilized in the system. I did not pick the easiest work. I ended up going into, it was called assertive community treatment.

And so it was outreach, mental health nursing, and I would go into the community. So I worked with folks with HIV. So a lot of people that were living risky lives and living, really just living from a place of trauma. So I did that work for about 15 years.

And when I worked in certain facilities, you could see how they... would debrief their staff so we had a critical incident and you know something awful happened someone died there was violence there was something that hurt not just our heart but also our nervous system right so i have worked in teams that were really good at debriefing like i remember when i was doing my practicum And I was in the eMERGE. And that day I had two codes. And those were the first two codes I've ever had as a nurse, a student nurse at that time.

And they debriefed us. I remember crying and able to process that, being well supported by the nurses that were there and the, you know, management. And then, you know, another time I remember, like, there was just, you know, just really hard, hard things, right? And another unit that just...

had a really good way of supporting their staff giving us time to process after someone died or something critical happened so you know time goes along you work in different places and you didn't always get that that is not the norm in nursing in Canada anyways and I have met nurses in the U .S. and in the Bahamas and I have also hear that it's it's not that is not the norm. And, you know, our psychological health isn't worked, is not cared for as it should be in these places, right?

My husband, I'm going to tell you too, he's a firefighter. And when I used to do outreach, you know, I would be in a critical incident or a crisis, say mental health crisis with a client. Here in Canada, when we have that, we could call 911. We can, you know, get support from police or, you know, if they're in that crisis.

As a nurse, out on my own, on the street, they didn't always, we were working alone a lot of the time. I'd go out to the shelter or whatnot to see the person. Say I called 911, the police would come, the firefighters could come because they're usually the fastest compared to ambulance or police. Then there would be me.

The police, the fire, and EMS here, all, most of them across Canada have... You know, most EMS is like catching up, would be able to go back to their their unit or their office or their wherever they were and have a debriefing. Nurses, we do not have that. So that would be me.

I would be out there. I would come back. It'd be like, OK, next client, next client, never giving you your nervous system time to really like decompress process, you know. And not only that, I'm a mom.

I'm a mom of two beautiful boys. And so, you know, you go from work and you go home and there's just no, there was no time, right? So eventually my nervous system was like, yep, no more. It was just an accumulation, accumulation, accumulation.

And, you know, you mentioned I had compassion fatigue. Yeah, I remember coming to a place of compassion fatigue and thinking, oh, this is compassion fatigue. I, you know, I don't. think poorly of my clients.

And I can remember this specific time. It was like, I was just annoyed, so annoyed. And I was like, why am I being so annoyed? Like reflecting on that and being like, oh, I'm tired.

This is not her. This is me. And, you know, advocating within the system. I'm not scared to use my voice.

I never have been. That is one of my, my. my skills one of my strengths at one point my voice did go away because I was so injured but over the years I've advocated I saw that my husband had peer support and you know wellness initiatives within his work so I go and be like To the amount I work my way up the ladder, go to the CEO of the mental health and addictions and be like, why are we working like this when we can work better and we can retain the staff that are these senior staff that are leaving?

And, you know, one day I came with my letter from my psychologist and said, here's a letter for you to show you that this is evidence that we're getting injured from this. And, you know, I was just told. Just go look after yourself, which was good advice. But at the time I was like, no, that's not what I want to hear from you.

I want to hear that you're going to actually do something different. You're going to model what the fire are doing, what the police are doing, what the MS are doing, because we are getting the same injuries, right? So when I came to a place where I was like, yeah, this is I can't do this anymore was panic. Panic was setting in.

I'm like, I've never been diagnosed with PTSD. I've never had panic attacks. And I can remember sitting and there was a psych nurse that I was working with. And he's like, you know, Katrina, you can put in a psychological injury report.

I'm like, I can. So that's how I ended up getting like some support. I took one day off and that is the norm. You're like, wait, and, but I kept going to therapy and therapy and therapy.

And then it turned into a, not just a trauma stress injury. It turned into, with panic, it turned into an injury with depression. So, you know, your nervous system goes so long, goes so long, goes high, high, high. And then you go on that low and you crash.

And let me tell you, as a mental health nurse who has worked with people with all types of mental health challenges, I had a new perspective. So when I took that pain and I brought it into my purpose was when I knew that I could not work in a system anymore that did not honour and support the nurses and myself as they needed to be. So that's when Nurse to Nurse was, I was off. I was injured.

I was not working. It was COVID. I was at home with my kids, which was a blessing in disguise. And I wrote a letter and it was published.

My article was published and I had nurses reaching out saying, this happened to me, this happened to me, thank you for writing the letter. And I put my email in there and they started reaching out. And that was the catalyst. That was the catalyst to nurse -to -nurse peer support.

And that was the beginning of my journey. And Mindful Nurse Gardener came after that. Here I was going to ask. how you help them protect their energy, but maybe you can just tell us a little bit about what you do with Nurse to Nurse.

Yeah, so it's a trauma -informed peer support organization, and we are just tiny. though powerful in our own sense, but it's nurses that have built a program for other nurses. So our program that we focus on the most right now is an online peer support circle, is what we call it, because we want to all stand on equal ground. manager or frontline nurse or LPN or RN or nurse practitioner.

We just want to all meet each other wherever we're at. So we come together to kind of reduce the harm that's happening to us by showing up for each other, modeling something different that is where we can find a safe container and come to process some of these things that are happening to us in a really confidential, it's voluntary. And so what we continue to do is show up for each other, run the peer circles monthly. And the other big part, like I said, is the advocacy and the education around why we need this psychological health and safety in our workplaces.

So one of the things that I had gotten off your bio that I loved is how you help people see burnout as a beginning rather than as a breakdown. Can you share some insights around that, please? The culture of nursing is so that we do not, we're trained not to be emotional. We're trained not to show what's coming up within us, which is good.

you know, we need to have a certain composure in order to keep others grounded. And we don't want to be in there bawling. So we can do that after. However, when we suppress emotion, we know what happens over time, right?

There's that that place of activation that comes up in our nervous system or the hyper activation versus the hypo activation over time, you know, that accumulation of whatever it is that's coming at us will can and depending on our history too right puts us at risk for maybe more injuries because we're we're humans we're not just nurses right and and then whatever else is going on in our lives right we have partners we have families we have sick parents all the things in life so when a nurse comes to us and they may not see themselves we bring in a lot of education to essentially what we're doing is to build awareness in that if a person if a nurse comes in and they're and they are anxious and they can't you know they're having panic attacks and they they don't really know where this is coming from we can sit and just talk about our own experience and reflect and be a mirror to them to be like this was something that happened to me And here's the window of tolerance.

And here's how, you know, our nervous system can show up. We don't diagnose, but then we can help navigate each other through a process. We have a system that's imperfect. We know that.

But when we have this person in front of us, this nurse in front of us, and we're sitting there together, it takes a lot of the shame. And a lot of the guilt, I can't show up for my kids. I just can't keep going the way I'm going. It's an opportunity.

So that burnout, that umbrella term of burnout, whatever it might be underneath all of that, we can help them. It's that opportunity to say, hey, it's okay. You don't have to be a superhuman. This is happening and this has happened to me and this is how we walked through this, right?

So that's where that burnout can go from that place of like shame and guilt and overwhelm to, okay, I didn't even know that I was dissociating or I didn't even know that this was a symptom of. this and i'm gonna go see that therapist i'm gonna go see that um counselor and i'm gonna i'll come back to the next circle or i'll come back and i'll let you know how it's going right so it's like a touch point of that person that's safe because a lot of the times it's not safe for us to speak and to to say what's happening to us right we are regulated we're regulated professionals The system is not set up to support us, right?

So we need to find that safe place. So that's where that burnout can be that opportunity to be like, hmm, I need to do something different. So it's not about starting over or starting in a new career. It's a new start to deal with the issues that perhaps could lead to a breakdown.

Yeah, and... You know, everyone has their own path and we're not there to judge whatever that path is. You know, maybe they do need some time off, but it's like supporting them to make the decisions. Because, you know, when you're in that spot, those decisions can feel so big, so big, right?

So it's, yeah, if they decide to go somewhere else with their career, then they decide that. But that's on there. on them right like but not alone they're not alone that's what we're there to do is support them so what does it look like when a nurse or even you because you started the circle gives themselves a permission to heal i just flashed back to this time where i was like i needed to go off and there was this beautiful doctor it was like he was this i don't know where he came from but For some reason that day I needed to listen.

And his advice was like, you need time off. You need to go off. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. Like sometimes it's just that person that can reflect back what's happening, right?

It's not the end when it, but it does can feel like the end when you're in that space. And for me, it was, I took that time. And when I did take that time, I have never learned so much about myself. And it's brought me from that place of, oh, my God, I want to die.

And I did. You know, I wanted to die, but I had things to live for. I had protective factors that kept me alive. And I am blessed because I worked within the system and I knew how to navigate it.

Not everyone does. And so when I was able to get myself out of that darkness and keep going towards things that would light me up, I know that you can go from severe depression with suicidality to if a psychiatrist was to measure me or, you know, the scales, the screeners that I actually do with people still. If I screen myself, which I do, I check in with myself in a very kind way. I might not have been as so kind before.

And I don't measure, I don't measure on those scales anymore. So, you know, I hear from nurses that say, I've been told I'll have this for the rest of my life. I'm like, well, you know, it's like any injury. Your nervous system is going to be like a little bit more sensitive, but that can also be a gift, right?

So I've been seeing, I've seen how you can go from that, that dark, dark place to light and joy and purpose again. You know, it takes time and patience and community, connection. I loved that one part. That's how you wrapped up in your bio was the connection.

But you also host retreats with your circle, correct? Yeah, that's where Mindful Nurse Gardener comes in. And as a nonprofit, I wasn't sure how to do that work, but I knew I needed to do that work and to build in some sense of community. And Mindfulness Gardener also is another way that I have worked my way out of the system so that I can continue to do this work because this is now where I need to be.

I do miss the work in the public system, but if I... continue to stay there I won't be able to do this work so I had to make a choice at one point you know after my injury I did go back to work but I what I love about what I do now and is bringing people together and that retreat piece and the workshops that I bring or the one day workshop It's so fulfilling. It's beautiful to see how people respond. I still am surprised.

And like, I'm like, oh, my God, like this is so supportive for people. And I know why it's supportive, but I'm still like, oh, it just lights me up to see how people respond to, you know, this care and this support and the building community. And yeah, it's just my heart is full with this work. So what's the difference between Mindful Nurse Gardener and Nurse to Nurse?

They're two separate organizations? Exactly. Nurse to Nurse is the nonprofit, and that is where we have the online community. And Nurse to Nurse is my own independent practice as a nurse.

So a lot of nurses, we can work independently, but we don't know that we can do that because we've been so, and I would call it institutionalized. Just like I used to work with veterans or with members of the Canadian Armed Forces and when they come out of a system like that and they're veterans, it's really hard. It's the same for nurses in a lot of ways because if we start to work independently on our own, the system is not really, they don't really like it because we're coming out of a system that is actually oppressive.

There's not wellness built within it. So no wonder people are leaving, nurses are leaving and healthcare workers are leaving because... It's so hard to stay well within that. There's culture of like you bring your charting home, you bring this home.

The culture is just not built to support us, our wellness, which is counterintuitive, right? Are we not there to model wellness to people? So when I went back, I did well when I went back to work. But then I was like, no, I need to do something different.

I want to do these retreats. I want to be able to. So that is like a platform. Mindful Nurse Gardener is a platform to be able to do my work independently in collaboration with others.

So I'm not on my own. I have beautiful people that I did that retreat with. I have people that are now wanting to do other things with, you know, and it can include nurses, but it also includes other people that have stress. and have traumatic stress and finding ways to work through that.

And so it's, I counsel from a trauma -sensitive lens and I bring in practices like trauma -sensitive mindfulness that have a CBT. mindfulness lens and a mindfulness -based stress reduction lens as well. And all the other things I've learned over the 20 plus years of being a mental health nurse in the system, right? I said to someone the other day, if the system can label me a mental health therapist, and that's what I did for years when I worked in another province, not BC, but in Alberta, then why can't I be a therapist out on my own?

That's where I've moved into. As a nurse on my own, right? So do you only serve Canadians or do you have people join you from different parts of the world? I haven't yet, but I'm open to that.

We're all the same. Our nervous system reacts to the world the same. I just happen to have a specialty working with first responders or, you know, I work with veterans and I used to work with members and nurses, right? I know that because I've done that work.

I'm versatile. I just happen to have the lived experience of a nurse that went from, you know, having traumatic stress injury to not. And I know the path out. So that's my gift now to the world.

For anybody that wants to learn more or support your work or perhaps reach out to you, where can they find you online? Mindfulnessgardener .ca. So www .

mindfulnessgardener. I'll make sure to leave the URL in. the description of the podcast episode so that people can find you and connect with you. And so before we wrap it up, what would be one key takeaway that someone that is listening to you right now can walk away with to improve their health or their life?

Never feel bad about having to come back to yourself to care for yourself. It is not a weakness. It is a strength to show your vulnerability to others that you trust. And keep at it.

Like, be patient with yourself. Learn new things about yourself. And, yeah, you're not alone either. There are people that are doing this.

We just don't always talk about it. Yeah, just try to fit. You know, the other part is you think that it might be a traumatic route. You know, find someone who's trauma -informed, someone who knows.

and about trauma and has specific ways of caring for that. So yeah, you're not alone. Your work is guided by the principle that we transform through connection and that we cannot heal in isolation. So definitely reach out and find someone.

Yeah, yeah. Someone that resonates with you and never be afraid if you start a journey with someone that, you know, when it's the end or it just doesn't fit, it's okay. It's about you. Yeah.

And it's not selfish to come back to yourself and care for yourself. Well, thank you so much for joining me today and sharing your story, Katrina. Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you, Sheila, for having me.

And thank you all for tuning in to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business and Leadership. Until next time.