What Happens When Black Women Stop Suppressing Themselves? with Dr. Jennifer Taylor

Speaker A: You looked at the tip of my tongue

Speaker B: and

Speaker A: you said that it was red, and it meant that I probably wasn't speaking or saying the things that I wanted to say. I am a person who feels like everything doesn't need to be said. And when I say that everything doesn't need to be said, I don't say it at all. Don't have to say it to the person, but I have to get it out of my body.

Speaker C: So when you start to speak your truth, even though you may just speak it to the void, you're keeping that flowing, keeping the heart open. That. Now, who gets labeled as the angry person when we express ourselves? Black women,

Speaker A: of course,

Speaker C: have been historically too much m. Black women. We're given usually two paths, and those two paths are Western medicine, medication, surgeries, hysterectomies, things like that. The other is what I call whitewashed wellness. And so Chinese medicine is like the third. I hope that people start to see that Chinese medicine can be a very viable option for. For healing and wellness for black women.

Speaker D: You're watching We Ain't Dying for this, a black woman's guide to liberation, and I'm your host, Crystal Johnson. We are a community of black women demanding our collective liberation through radically soft living. Each Thursday, we feature the stories of black women who have set themselves free from the expectations of others and are choosing to live on their own terms. Foreign

Speaker A: welcome to another episode of the We Ain't Dying for this podcast. I'm Krystal Johnson, and I'm here with Dr. Jennifer Taylor, who is someone who has journeyed here to Merida and who is building her life. And so welcome to the show, Dr. Taylor.

Speaker C: Thank you for having me. It's super honored to be here.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: M. So one of the first questions that we ask people who join the show is tell us who you are without telling us what you do.

Speaker C: Okay. That is a hard question because we're so, so attached to our identities, attached to what we do. I, um, will say that I'm a mother. And, um, so I care for people, and I care for, um, the people in my life. And I'll just start with where. How I grew up, because I'm working on how. I'm working on ways to honor my childhood, too. Um, so I grew up in a very small town. I was born in 1984. So that gives you a lot of context. My favorite music artists. Male music artist is Maxwell. Okay. Favorite female is Mary J. Blige. Um, and so, yeah, so I have that background of being a Millennial, I guess, but did grow up in a small community, a small town in South Carolina on a dirt road for the first 12 years of my life on a dirt road. Um, so perspective wise, how I see myself, how I identify as someone who has someone is very humble, um, someone who cares for people, someone who wants, um, people to have and I want to give and support. Um, because I grew up in home. That was just, just that, um, a single mom. My mother was a single mother. However, I had my grandmother, my granddaddy, my two aunts, and my, my sister, my older sister. So I was the youngest person in the house. Right. And, um, people cared for me. And so I want to always honor that, um, in what I do.

Speaker A: Yeah, I resonate with your story so much because I'm also from the South. Well, a lot of people say Virginia isn't the South. Oh,

Speaker C: it

Speaker A: is the South. And, um, when you said granddaddy. Yeah, if you said my mom, my grandmother, but granddaddy.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: I love that so much because my dad, I call him Daddy. So it's like this, this Southern twang that comes with it, uh, when we talk about our granddaddy and daddy.

Speaker C: Yeah.

Speaker A: Yeah. And I also grew up in a really small town. One flashing light, a gas station, a grocery store that kept turning over to different people owning it. And when I've driven through the town recently, every time I go, it just feels like it's just stuck in time.

Speaker C: Really.

Speaker A: Every single time.

Speaker C: Okay. That's a little bit different from where I grew up because now they've grown so much. The first 12 years was dirt road, but then now it's like a four lane highway. Like, it's grown a lot, I think mostly because it's right near a big city, Charlotte. So, um, so that influence is definitely there. But it's grown a lot, which I'm thankful for. And also, of course, miss, like the, the very small, small town feel. Yeah. When I go back and

Speaker A: you said that you've been caring for people like your whole life. Well, you were cared for by your mom, your grandparents, and then you grew to want to care for other people too, because you wanted to make them feel the same. And so tell us more about, like, what brought you here to Merida and what have you been up to?

Speaker C: Well, that's a big story too. Um, what has brought me here really is my children. So that's like I said, the first thing was like, my, I'm a mother and I want them to have a different childhood again, um, than I had Being in a small town in the south, very much black, huge black population, however, also very much racist. Very racist. Um, my mother told me this story one time where she was in high school. They have pep rallies, right? And she's only. She was born in 54, so it's not like this was that long ago. Um, but at the pep rally, they would have the Confederate flag. Somebody would hold a huge Confederate flag and just, like, run through the. Through the gym with the Confederate flag. I just never forget that. Like, wow. Thankfully, they didn't do it in my school, but plenty of more racism, racial, race happening there. But. Yeah, So I didn't want my children to experience that. And my husband felt the same. Um, he's from Baltimore, so I'm sure he had even more of that, you know, that kind of, um, upbringing, too. Um, just in a different way, though. But we wanted that to be different for our children. And my husband and I had successful careers. We had plans. We. We. We were fine. It wasn't like we were trying to run away from anything. We were trying to run away from the rat race of America, though. We didn't want the 9 to 5 just waking up just to go. Go to work and starting all over again the next day. Um, so we want that. Wanted that freedom for ourselves as well, but mostly, um, for our children to have a different life. Um, when I was in school, I remember so many things, but one of the main memories was being the only black person in my class. I took, like, AP and IB classes starting, um, through middle school and high school, and being the only black one in the class, and that just felt isolating. It felt, um. You know, everyone would look at me when we talked about slavery. It's like I'm here learning just like everybody else. I'm like, I'm 15. I don't know. I don't know everything. Um, and then I had. Most of my friends were white because they were in those classes too. I remember I had one friend we had to wear, um. I'm giving a lot of. A lot of stories, but these things come up for me. We, um, had to wear something for, like, again, like, a pep rally or something we're having at school. And I wore, like, a bandana over my head. She was like, you look like a little slave girl, you know, just like.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker C: And it was just. It was okay, you know, like, she was also young and didn't know that that was offensive. So just like, microaggressions, even from children. So I don't want my Children to have that life experience. Um, and my mother instilled the thankful for it. Thankful for her for doing this, instilled really some principles like nature, environment, um, those things don't ever lie to you. Or they don't. These are constant things. Like, you can really, you know, see and go places in your life through science and nature. And, like, she would make silly experiments for us over the summer. We would do, you know, our cousins would come over and would do these experiments on the table. And like, that really helped me realize, okay, I can be somebody. I can go somewhere, I can do something with this, because it's universal. Right. It's not something that I'm trying to create myself. It's universal. Um, and it was beautiful to me. I loved just being, like, earthly.

Speaker A: Yeah,

Speaker C: like, um, the earth, earthly side of things. And so I always say that nature is always first for me. And that is what I'm working on. That's what I'm, I'm, um, I'm using as my basis for how I want to practice my medicine.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Yeah, of course. And I think it's always important to be able to see something before you can be it. Because had your mother not done those types of experiences or, um, experiments at home over the summer, you would have never said, oh, well, maybe I could do this other thing. Because maybe you only knew people who were teachers or people who did, like, other types of. Of things that you might see around your town, but didn't recognize that this can actually take me somewhere else.

Speaker C: Right.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker C: And that's what. And to get into kind of what the journey that I had, it wasn't just like, oh, I'm just going to be an acupuncturist. Definitely not. So still with that mindset of, like, if you're going to be somebody, you better be a doctor or a scientist. Like, you're not just going to be. Not just, but you're not going to be anything else. And so that's the path that I went on, was to become a dentist at first. And then, um, I got into research and started getting into. So I went for my master's. I have several master's degrees. I have a master's in biology and a master's in physiology. Um, and the master's in physiology came out of going to that school to be a. To get a PhD in physiological sciences. And I didn't just because of funding. Um, that's a whole. Another story, whole other podcast. Um, but, um. But yeah, having that background or being pushed into the Sciences early on really helps me, like, see, like, this is the area that I know I want to go into. I thought that I was going to be in a lab in a white coat, you know, groundbreaking breaking research of some sort. But then, like, something just kept pulling me back to, I can't just be here with these cells and these mice and dissecting these things. And I need to be with people. I need to be like, I understand this is really going to help someone in the future, but I want to help the person now. Like, I want to see them. Yeah. And I can't keep dissecting down m science and biology and the body in this way. I want to actually work with the body itself as a whole, because there's so much more to it than just the cells. Huge, beautiful part of the body. I'll never, you know, never let that part go about how these cells function and how amazingly intelligent our bodies are on that level. And I want to be with people not in the. In the lab, in a white. In a white, sterile environment.

Speaker A: And that's actually how we met each other. There have been several, um, folks who've been in different WhatsApp channels who've mentioned that they've worked with you and how their nervous system feels calm and all the things, saying all the things that we want to hear. Um, especially because you are so attentive. I remember when I reached out to you and you were like, hey, like, what is it that you want to solve? Like, what's happening? And I gave you the information and you just kept talking to me, like, about different things that it could potentially be. And we made an appointment, and I came in for my acupuncture appointment, my first one ever. Wasn't scary at all.

Speaker C: Please say that again.

Speaker A: It wasn't scary, y'. All. It wasn't scary. I think needles can be scary, too, because history.

Speaker C: But, you know, I want something stuck into their body. Yeah.

Speaker A: Don't want to be poked and prodded. But it was great. I remember you were, as you were doing the work or doing the acupuncture, you were telling me why you were sticking things in certain places and, like, what you see and what this could possibly mean. And when you left the room, you left me in there for 25 minutes, and I was asleep in, like, five seconds. I was asleep in five seconds because I felt so, so calm. Like, you stuck the pins in my ears and my feet and my arms, and I was just like, wow. It almost felt like I've had a shrooms experience in the past. And it kind of felt like that. It kind of felt really similar. It

Speaker C: has a name. It's called an acunap. It's nothing like that. It's really only, um, produced by acupuncture needles because they're actually doing something. Just the nervous system, they're turning on the endorphins. That, similar to, like, marijuana or shrooms or other, um, other substances, is doing the same thing just with your own endorphins. Nothing's being added to your body. Right. You're not ingesting anything. I'm not. There's no injections happening with the needles, y'. All. Um, it's just your own body. And that is just beautiful in itself. Right. That your own body can actually put you in this. This really euphoric state. And the more you're. The more times that you're in that euphoric state, the better your body can heal itself. And when I learned that, like, of course I'm doing this because what else is there to do? I mean, what. What else is better than that? Than allowing your own body to do what it's supposed to do?

Speaker A: Exactly.

Speaker C: I'm a huge believer in. Again, when I. So I went through a lot of schooling for learning how the body works. Also. I taught anatomy and physiology for 15 years. I started out with zoology, biology, and then anatomy and physiology. I taught at a college level for, like, 15 years. Total. Total teaching for 19 years. And so I know and love the body so much. And knowing that it can do everything on its own, like, of course I'm going to help. Help it actually do that. Versus Western medicine, which wants to just turn off or hijacked all the. Hijack all those systems and say, no, we can do it better. Actually know your body already has it figured out and it just needs a redirection. And that's what acupuncture can do.

Speaker A: Yeah, 100%. One of the other things you told me during our appointment as well is you looked at the tip of my tongue and you said that it was red. And it meant that. Well, it meant a lot of things. But. But I'm gonna distill it down to that. I probably wasn't speaking or saying the things that I wanted to say. And I think this is very important for the black women who are listening to this podcast, because I am a person who feels like everything doesn't need to be said. And when I say that everything doesn't need to be said, I don't say it at all. So maybe you've Done something to me. And I'm just like, you know, if I, if I was to say this to J. To Jennifer, is it going to change anything? If the answer is no, I'm just not going to say anything. But I'm also not getting it out at all either. I'm not writing it down in the journal. I'm not saying it to myself out loud. Like it's just really sitting in there. Right.

Speaker C: Because it wants to come out. Because it really is stuck.

Speaker A: Yeah. So it was interesting that you knew that about me and you didn't ask me any questions. You didn't know me at all, but you, you knew that about me. And I think that a lot of us are doing that same thing. And so I had gone back to the States for a funeral. And the day after the funeral or the day of the funeral, I decided, I thought about you and I decided I was like, okay, I'm gonna have to get out all the things from the day. So I created a voice note or I started doing a voice note that says or that's called everything that pissed me off today. And so what I also do. Because obviously, yes, it pissed me off, but there are other emotions that are under that as well that I'm feeling. And so I just list off everything that pissed me off today. And like, what am I actually feeling under being angry or being pissed off? What am I actually feeling? And I felt so much better. My tongue's probably still red for now, but if I continue to practice, it will definitely continue to change because I've only been doing it like a week. But I definitely feel so much better just by saying the thing that I want to say.

Speaker C: Yes

Speaker A: out loud. I don't have to say it to the person, but I have to get it out of my body.

Speaker C: Mhm. There's so many layers to that.

Speaker A: Mhm.

Speaker C: Yes. That's beautiful. Congratulations for taking that step. Because that, I mean that's something that is. People don't do and they just sit on this stuff and sit on the stuff and then sometimes it does take that little bit of a reframe of like, I don't have to, I don't have to say it to the person or get into a, uh, confrontation with anyone, but just like getting it out, getting it off my chest. And that's exactly like Chinese medicine is. I don't know, it really, it changed my life, but it actually kind of saved my life too because those the principles. So let's talk about you, for example. So the reason why I said Your tip of your tongue was red. I saw it, saw it being red. The tip of the tongue corresponds to the heart, and there's other parts of the tongue that correspond, different organs. But the heart is a bigger. Is a part of a bigger elemental system called the fire element. And fire, each element is just so beautiful. When it comes to Chinese medicine, this is not, and I keep saying Chinese medicine, it's really traditional medicine. Lots of traditional medicines have these similar, um, frameworks. But, um, the fire element is all about connection. It's all about partnership, friendship. But it's also about speaking your truth. Because that saying, get it off your chest like that is literally speaking your truth, right? And it's releasing the heart's burden. And the heart is, Is our empress of the body. And I can't think of what religion, maybe Islam, um, where it has that same idea of the bot of the heart being like a vessel, an open vessel where things can just flow through. And we don't want the heart to start to close its, Its gate, right? To start. Close off to ourselves or close off to other people. That connection that we have with other people and also the connection we have within yourself. Um, so when you start to speak your truth, even though you may just speak it to the void, you're keeping that flowing, keeping the heart open and, and allowing for other experiences to come through to, to shine a little bit brighter. Because the fire element is all about the sun and the Yang element system. So the Yang, um, gosh, how do I, how do I describe that? Um, brightness or fast moving or, you know, the summertime, right, the heat and warmth. And then when you suppress that, right, if you suppress Yang, which is this energy that wants to expand, it wants to be like, you know, friendship and laughter and fun, but you start to suppress that, your fire goes out like that just gets dimmer and dimmer. And so we don't want that, right?

Speaker A: We do not want that at all.

Speaker C: As black women, we are naturally just loving in community. Um, our African heritage and African roots are just built on that, like community, village, um, supporting one another. And also things piss us off. And we should express that too. There's nothing wrong with that. Um, I can go on and on. I don't know if you want to go in more, but there's some other little detail.

Speaker A: Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker C: So the other element system that is related to this is the wood element. And the wood elements, um, emotion is anger. And so again, the wood, the wood element has these correspondences, just like the fire, which is yang fast Summer friendship. So the wood is more, um, it's also very fast and upward rising. So it's like the sun rises in the east, right? So like this, like, the wood element is all about plants. Springtime, blooming, right? Your little sprouts are coming up in the spring, and they reach to the sun. Right? So that is the wood function or the wood correspondence. And so wood within us, like wood is in nature, but wood within us is. I'm going to, like, say what I want to say. I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do it fast. Like, no one's going to stop me. Um, when I get angry, I'm gonna express myself. I might punch a wall. Like that energy, like a plant growing through or breaking through concrete. That is wood energy. And we also need that. Now, who gets labeled as the angry person when we express ourselves? Black women.

Speaker A: Yeah, of course,

Speaker C: have been historically too much. Right. Just that wood has been suppressed within us. And what happens when. When wood gets suppressed, just like in the fire, when it gets suppressed, gets dimmed, we get more, you know, sad or, um, you know, uh, closed off to people. Right. So when wood gets suppressed, headaches, menstrual issues, a lot of heavy. Heavy menstrual cycle and bleeding, um, anything that deals with blood. Right. So that's what the wood element is all about. Blood as well. So we see how our lifestyle really affects our physical body through these elemental systems. And then also even taking it a step further, not just lifestyle, but, like, how we respond and communicate with things in our life. Like, are we being able to express ourselves? Especially when it comes to angry anger, um, for black women, but all women, really. Yeah,

Speaker B: yeah,

Speaker A: yeah. When you were talking about, like, the blood and everything like that, I was thinking about fibroids. I was thinking about high blood pressure. And just in general, like, when you are suppressing things, you are inviting disease into your body. And so you have. I would say, from what I've heard so far about the work that you're doing, just like Chinese medicine changed your life and saved your life, I think that you are. The work that you're doing here, you're saving the lives of other black women who. Who need to hear the things that you're saying, who need to need their bodies to actually do what it's supposed to do, what is naturally supposed to do, rather than using other types of medicine, like Western medicine, and just like hijacking your whole system. Right.

Speaker C: That's all that I want to do, is really help women to see that their bodies are fully capable of doing everything that it needs to do. We don't, we don't need to be outsourcing our health to many of the things that we do. Of course, if there isn't, you know, there's a, an accident or something, you're bleeding, go to the hospital, like, don't come to me. So there's always a place for Western medicine, for sure. And, uh, even medication, medications too. But that should not always be the first case, because for black women, we're given usually two paths. Whether. And those two paths are Western medicine, medication, surgeries. Right. Hysterectomies, you know, things like that. Get me on that. But, um, and then the other is what I call whitewashed wellness, which is cold plunges, uh, high protein diet, cottage cheese for breakfast, like Greek yogurt for breakfast. So

Speaker A: chia seeds. I've been seeing that on the Internet a lot. Chia seeds and applesauce. I think it's the

Speaker B: all

Speaker A: the way.

Speaker C: I mean, there's just a different. And so Chinese medicine is like the third. I hope that people start to see that Chinese medicine can be a very viable option for, for healing and wellness for black women. Like, that is all that I really want to come away with at the end of the day is like, this medicine changed my life. And I've seen it change other people's lives too. So I had a clinic, um, that I ran for, for seven years or five years and seven years somewhere else, um, that, I mean, I treated 17 patients a day. I traded four patients an hour. Like, I had a lot of people coming in my clinic and seeing them go from point A to point B with just a few treatments, it's just amazing. I know that this works. And then even coming here, leaving that brick and mortar space, I know that I planted seeds there. Even with my own cultivation of the practice that I do, I can really take that and those frameworks and build something that I want to do, which is supporting black women 100%. And

Speaker A: that's beautiful. And I think something that you said, um, one of the things I want to ask you to wrap up our conversation is about you moving from something so busy, like, you're seeing so many people per month, and now you're here in this space. You got your education from the US and, um, did you, did you study anywhere else other than the U.S. okay, so you got your education from the U.S. and you study Chinese medicine, and now you've taken that education and you've actually brought it here. To build something new. And I think that there are probably so many black women in the US who are like, wow, I don't. Could I do that? Like, is that even possible? So if there is someone who's listening, who has a technical background, a medical background, or any type of, uh, background where they don't have to be necessarily in the US the thing that they're doing is pretty universal. What would you tell them if they're hesitating, if they don't know if it's possible?

Speaker C: Look, it is definitely possible. It. It takes a lot of peeling back the onion, though, and crying while you're doing that. Pun intended there. Um, because that identity, like we kind of started out with the identity shift is so real. Like, you, uh, you know, just every single day, you know what you're doing, you know who you're going to help. You have your treatments, your appointments, your. The thing that you do. And then you're taken out of that environment. You're really going to have to strip back what that is first to get to the core of what, you know what. It lives in your body. Not in the building, not in the. The meetings you had or whatever. It lives in you. And thankfully, medicine, um, at least we need to work with bodywork. You can do that anywhere because you've embodied that work. You've embodied that work because you can't really do it without doing that. I don't really know how. Um, so those principles are already in place for you don't feel like it's. It's has to be attached to any particular building or people or system. You have it in your body. Um, and then test it out, kind of see how, like, try it on. Come stay for a few. Come here. Come, Ichabolam. Stay. Yes, come to Merida. Ah. Um, stay. Stay for a little bit. Try it out. Talk to people. That's one thing that the US I believe is lacking is like, they want you to just know it all and be. Be ready to go. And if you have the degree, okay, sign this paper and go. And not give you time to really work through anything. Um, and so if you have the space, the money, and the. The ability to do that, definitely try it on to see how it feels. And I'm sure it's going to feel good.

Speaker A: Yeah, of course. This is definitely a space where you can practice and try. People are so forgiving and so patient. It definitely takes you out of the thought process of, I need to be perfect and I need to have all the answers. But you also Got to be willing, willing to let that go too. Um, because we've been conditioned to want to need to be perfect. If not, then we are incompetent. And that is, that's not true. Um, there's always room to learn something new. And so if people are looking for you online, if they want to know more about what it is that you're up to and they want to work with you, how can they find you online?

Speaker C: Yeah, so I um, am doing consulting as well as acupuncture here at Ichab Alam. So I have kind of like two worlds where if you want to come visit me here, um, for acupuncture, you can reach me@hello@5method.com and the E means element, right? So 5 element method. So 5method.com um, just says the uh, first part is hello. So you can email me. Um, and I'm really, right now I'm working on consulting. Um, and I want to um, uh, you know, talk with, have communication or have um, conversations with black women about perimenopause. Cuz I'm in perimenopause. Um, so that area is so um, volatile for us right now. And again we have kind of like two areas where it's like yeah, uh, HRT or surgery. And again that can't be the whole picture. So people can email me@helloive method.com to reach me for consulting online. I do one on one consulting. Um, and also uh, if they want to come get some acupuncture, they can come here to beautiful Ichab Alam.

Speaker A: And they should. And they should. Thank you so much Dr. Taylor for being on the show. Thank you. And thank you everyone for tuning in to another episode of We Ain't Dying for this.