009 | FUN | The Discipline of FUN Through JOY

Speaker A: Welcome to Leadership by Faith, where we believe that leadership starts within and faith is the foundation we stand on. I'm your host, Miya Allen, executive leadership coach, speaker, founder of Lead in Life, and fellow traveler on the journey to leadership excellence. Each week we'll explore, explore how to live by faith, lead with excellence and love intentionally as we transform how we show up, uh, at home, at work and in our communities. Because when faith and service leads, leadership follows. Today we're talking about the discipline of fun through the lens of joy. Not entertainment, as an escape, not irresponsibility, and definitely not avoidance, but healthy joy, intentional rest, laughter, celebration and life giving. Moments that restore the soul. You know, many leaders have become so committed to productivity that they no longer know how to pause without guilt. We know as leaders how to achieve, we know how to produce. We absolutely, positively know how to solve problems. But we struggle to enjoy what God has already given us. And eventually leadership without joy becomes heavy, stressful leadership. So today we're talking about why joy is our spiritual strength and why rest is not a weakness. Healthy leaders know how to replenish and not just perform so that they can effectively pour out into others. Lean m in and let's get this conversation started. Welcome back to Leadership by Faith, where we put faith and service first and leadership always. MI I'm Miye Allen and today we're closing out our foundational pillar and five F series with pillar three, which is love, and the fifth F, which is fun. Today we're talking about the discipline of fun, and we're going to look at it through the lens of joy. And as you know, we're standing on the Word because this is leadership by faith. And that's the word that's going to lead us by faith. And so the foundational scripture for today for the fun F in the 5F series is Nehemiah 8 and 10. I'm going to repeat that because I know you're writing this down. So again, the foundational scripture is Nehemiah 8 and 10, which oftentimes people just say the last part of this scripture, which is the joy of the Lord is our strength. But I want to read the entire scripture to you. And so I'm looking for that now. I got it. Nehemiah 8 and 10. Again, I want you to capture that because we're going to be standing on the word. Nehemiah 8, 10. And this is the message version. It says, he counted. I'm sorry, he continued, go home and prepare a feast, holiday food and drink and share it with those who don't have anything. This day is holy to God. Don't feel bad. The joy of God is your strength. Now, we're not merely talking about happiness here. We want to talk about joy. Because, as you know, happiness depends on the current happenings or the circumstances right now that you're facing. But joy, joy is deeper. Joy is something that remains rooted inside of you even during challenging times, even during challenging circumstances or situations. And the scripture repeatedly shows us that God values rhythm, celebration, and rest, which are all connected to joy. Sabbath, it was intentional. He created the world, and on the seventh day, he rested. Sabbath day is intentional. Feasts are intentional. Celebration was intentional. Why? Because God never designed us. He never designed people to live in a constant strain and stress in their lives. But you know what? Many leaders, and it could be consciously or unconsciously, they adopt a martyr leadership style, where they actually believe that exhaustion proves their commitment to being a leader or to the work that they do. They constantly carry pressure, uh, and thinking that that makes them valuable. They're always putting out fires again, because they think that makes them valuable to their family, to their organization, or to their community. But I want us, uh, to remember, chronic heaviness is not spiritual maturity. It's not maturity at all. And I think sometimes we can probably call it emotional imbalance or even pride in some people. I think sometimes is fear disguised as responsibility. But you know what sometimes is simply the fact that leaders feel guilty for resting because they have chosen to make their identity become so attached and aligned with productivity. And so they look at joy or fun as a distraction from leadership. And that couldn't be farther from the truth. Joy is about renewal, and it strengthens our leadership. Joy is about rest. And when you do it, what you're actually saying is, God, I trust you to sustain what I am stepping away from right now to get the rest that I need. Now let's talk about what this looks like in our everyday leadership. Leaders who never replenish, I promise you, eventually they're going to become emotionally unavailable. Now, what do I mean by emotionally unavailable? Think about this. You know, leaders like this. When you're emotionally unavailable and everything begins to feel transactional. Oh, uh, if I have a meeting with him, he'll do this for me. If I give her that information, she'll do this for me. Everything begins to feel transactional. Your conversations become rushed, your patience, it shortens, creativity decreases, presence weakens, and you find yourself always looking back to the past or you're looking forward to the future rather than being in the Present moment. Why? Because depleted people struggle to lead in a life giving environment. They're so used to being in stressful environments. Healthy leaders, on the other hand, they intentionally create rhythms of restoration. Now again, get your pencils and your paper because I want you to note these four very important leadership practices that will help with the discipline of fun and lead you straight to joy. Principle number one, change your mindset. You've got to think differently. Fun is not optional, it's mandatory. And it is a critical ingredient to your joy. I'm going to repeat that. Fun is not optional, leaders. It is mandatory. It is a critical ingredient to your joy. As a leader, you must make the shift from viewing fun as child's plays or a waste of time, a, uh, distraction or some of, some of you even think of fun as being immature. It's not immaturity, it is being strategic and having a, uh, strategic advantage that refuels you, refreshes you, rejuvenates you, and it builds relationships, not transactions. And let's not forget, fun optimizes your brain power through hormones. And that's, that's for another topic. And we'll be talking about that. Let's move on to the second leadership practice. I want you to remember the first is change your mindset. We just talked about that. The second one is schedule rest intentionally. If you are only resting when everything is finished, uh, you ain't gonna never get rest. I'm serious, you may never rest. Instead, you'll get burned out. And rest has to become part of your life strategy. And not merely to recover from the burnout and all the work that you've done as a leader. When you rest, you give others the permission to rest. And you show that leadership doesn't require exhaustion and getting everything done, that there is a ease to leadership. Okay, let's move on. Practice number three. Celebrate wins. Now, my oldest son and I were just talking about this, but many leaders, they move from achievement to achievement, from accomplishment to accomplishment, without ever acknowledging their progress. You've got a pause and be still long enough to recognize the growth that you've made from one accomplishment to the next. You have to celebrate with your family, celebrate with your team, celebrate small victories, large victories, just celebrate gratitude. And celebration that strengthens your perspective, allows you to see how far you've come from one accomplishment to the next. The fourth principle I want you to think about and practice. Reconnect with what brings you life. Now, fun is going to look different for all of us. Everyone has their own way of having fun. But what I want you to think about is what brings you genuine joy. What brings joy to your spirit? Is it laughter? Is it listening to or playing music? Maybe it's spending time out in nature for some of you, maybe it's traveling, maybe it's getting involved in creative hobbies. Maybe it's just simply having meaningful conversations. Or some of you may like silence. And I got to tell you, that's my all time favorite. I can go in my prayer closet and just sit in the presence of the gourd, listening for his voice. But whatever it is, you've got to recognize what brings you life. Some leaders have become so consumed with responsibilities that they don't even know what refreshes them. But joy matters. Leaders. It matters because healthy leadership flows from the overflow that you have, not from the depletion and the burnout. Remember, we're talking about fun from the perspective of experiencing joy. And we got to keep in mind, joy is not frivolous and it's not dependent on circumstances. And I didn't always think of it this way. I didn't think this way until I learned a profound lesson about joy. During the most painful season of my life. Up until that point, and that's when my father passed away, my heart ached in ways I had never experienced before. I cried until my eyes were swollen. I was sadder than I had ever been up to that point in my life. And honestly, the grief made sense. You should be grieving if you lose your father. It was expected. It was understandable. And the people around me expected me to grieve. And I expected myself to grieve. Losing my father hurt deeply. But then something unexpected happened. Over time, probably a few weeks, peace began to edge out my grief and I found myself crying less and smiling more. I would think about my dad and instead of only feeling sadness, I would remember moments when he made me smile. Moments when we laughed together. Moments when that reminded me how blessed I was to have my father for the time that I had him. And if I'm honest, I felt a little bit guilty for feeling this joy. Part of me thought I should still be grieving more. Part of me wondered, is it okay to experience joy again? But I gotta be honest, deep in my spirit, I sensed that God was reassuring me, telling me, yes, it's okay to smile, my daughter. It's okay to remember your father with joy. And there was another question that seemed to settle in my heart. And this question was, I felt like it was from the Holy Spirit asking me, how long do you plan to Grieve or how long are you going to grieve? And it wasn't a question, like a rebuke, but it was more like an invitation. You know, an uh, invitation to fully receive God's grace. And I can't really explain it, and I can't tell you how it happened, but what I do know is that I didn't create this joy on my own. That began to bubble up in my heart. I know I couldn't have manufactured the type of peace I began to feel. I know it was God's mercy and grace. And as that joy began replacing the heaviness of grief, something else happened. My strength returned, my resilience returned. My hope in life returned. I wasn't so sad anymore. I began accepting my father's death while also celebrating his life. And most importantly, I found peace knowing that without a doubt, my father was with God. To be absent of the body is to be present with the Lord. That experience taught me something that I've never forgotten. Joy and sorrow can exist in the same heart. Joy doesn't dishonor Goss. Joy doesn't mean you love someone less. Joy doesn't mean that you've forgotten. Joy is evidence that God is healing you from the inside out. Joy is how God restores strength to your soul. Joy is the very thing that can carry us forward when our own strength is gone. That's why Nehemiah said to the people at that time, don't be sad. Sadness drains you. Don't be sad. This day is holy. The joy of the Lord is your strength. And we're not saying that because life is easy. Life is not easy. We're not saying that because pain is absent. We have pain, but because God's presence is is greater than our pain. That's why we're saying the joy of the Lord is your strength. And when we allow God to heal us, joy becomes part of the restoration process. The bottom line is don't let life circumstances and situations take your God given joy. Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit that God has already placed within you. Joy resides within you and is your strength. So let your leadership reflect your joy. Speaking of reflect is reflection and practical challenge time. So let's reflect. And when we reflect, how do we reflect? Honestly? I have three questions for you. You might want to write them down. If you don't want to write them down, you might have to rewind and listen to them. But I want you to reflect on these three questions. Number one, when was the last time you truly rested Number two, what brings you joy that you've neglected to do in a very long time? Number three, have you unintentionally equated constant pressure in your life with purpose? Now that's a yes or no question. Again, let's reflect on these three questions. One, when was the last time you truly rested? Number two, what brings you joy that you've neglected for a very long time? And three, have you unintentionally equated constant pressure in your life with purpose? Here's the challenge for this week. I want you to schedule one intentional joy activity, something that brings joy to your soul. And I don't want you to do something that's work disguised as rest. And you're like, what does that mean? Something like, I'm gonna watch a movie and clean out my work email box? Nope. How about just watch the movie cleaning out your email, that's work disguised as rest. When you pick this intentional activity, I want it to be something that brings real replenishment to your soul and your spirit. Something that's life giving, something that's restorative, something that allows your spirit and your soul to breathe easy. And when you do it, no guilt allowed, no justification for doing it. Just gratitude. Thank you, Father. Thank you for this intentional joy activity that I'm experiencing. And I need you to be fully present. Don't wander back in the past or move forward in the future thinking about what you need to do next. Just remain present and grateful. All right, now, for those of you who like to journal like I do, here's the journal prompt. What happens to my leadership when joy returns to my life? Here's the journal prompt again. What happens to my leadership when joy returns to my life? And I need us to remember, joy is not weakness. It is a strength under healthy stewardship, pointing you towards fun. Let's pray. Father God, thank you for reminding us that joy matters. Teach us healthy rhythms of work and rest. Help us to release any guilt connected to fun, joy, and replenishment. Restore the areas in us that have become emotionally exhausted. Teach us how to lead from overflow, not from depletion. And let the joy, the pure joy that you provide, strengthen our hearts, our homes, and our leadership. In Jesus name we pray. Amen, Amen and amen. You're listening to Leadership by Faith with Miye Allen. Today we strengthen pillar number three, which is love. Um, and we talked about fun and the discipline of joy. Leadership should not only produce results, it should also reflect our wholeness, our wellness, and our joy. You know, healthy leaders know how to work hard and rest well. They know how to carry responsibility without heaviness, stress, and anxiety. If this episode resonated with you, share it with another leader who may need permission to rest, laugh, and be replenished. We are building healthy, faith centered leaders who schedule joy and not wait for it to happen. Remember to subscribe to the Leadership by Faith podcast and leave us a review. Now, in our next episode, we're going to pause and look at the bigger picture. For the past seven episodes, we've been laying a foundation for what I call the Journey to Leadership Excellence. We've explored the three pillars Live, Lead and Love. Uh, and we've connected them to the 5F framework. Faith, the Foundation Fitness the Strength Family the Multiplication, Finance the Stewardship and Fun the Joy. These are not just topics, they are building blocks. They are part of a leadership philosophy rooted in faith and lived from the inside out. Now, in upcoming episodes, we'll bring it all together, revisit the framework, and talk about what it means to intentionally build a life of alignment, purpose, and impact. Leadership by Faith is not about perfection. It is about becoming. And this is just the beginning. Um, in the episodes ahead, we'll go deeper into each pillar. We'll explore the 5F uh, framework in practical ways. I'll even bring on guests. And together we'll discover how to live this out daily. Sometimes imperfectly. Definitely. Faithfully and with purpose in our homes, at work, and in our communities. I can't wait to see you there.