EP170: When I Almost Took a Full-Time Job After 18 Years in Business

Speaker A: Hey, welcome back to the introvertpreneur podcast. My name is Tara Reid and I am a m fellow introvert and been in the online business space for over 18 years now. And thank you so much for being here and listening. This is a fully raw and almost unedited podcast, so, uh, hopefully it still sounds okay and is helpful for you to listen to. So I do not have an episode title as I'm recording this. I do not have an episode topic as I'm recording this. Basically, I am just here on the fly sharing whatever comes to my mind as I'm sitting here in front of my microphone. And you know, I did have an episode that was coming up that was next that I was supposed to record. And as I read the outline for it, I was just, I'm not feeling this, this topic anymore. I don't really want to record this, I don't want to talk about it. And so I decided to just hit record and see where this goes. There's nothing more raw than that. So this new podcast format is definitely different and hopefully it's not too different. So, yeah, let's talk about basically what's been going on. So as I'm recording this, it is November 7th, and for the past, I would say, month, I have been kind of in a limbo state of mind. So I had a full time job opportunity come up. I did four rounds of interviews, which I know may be shocking to a lot of people that after 18 years I actually applied for a job. And, you know, I did. I wasn't sure it was what I wanted, but the job description, it was basically a content distribution leader and the role actually sounded perfect for me. And so I just applied on a whim. I was feeling pretty burnt out and exhausted and I thought, you know what, maybe this is the next step. Maybe what I need to, you know, stop feeling so burnt out and exhausted with my own business right now. Maybe I need a little bit of structure and routine as much as I hate structure and routine and I'm all about flexibility, uh, for some reason I thought maybe that's what I needed and that would basically just be something that I could try and see what happens. Now. I had no clue that I would actually even move to the next round of interviews, let alone, um, four. And I was offered the full time remote position. And after a lot of back and forth and thinking things over talking to ChatGPT, I ultimately decided to turn down the position, which honestly was a really hard decision. I went back and forth so many times that, like, I can't even tell you. And, uh, over the course of a couple weeks, I went back and forth over, over this decision because it was very good money. It, you know, everyone I met at the company seemed really wonderful. It seemed like a great team to be a part of, and I was really excited about it. But in the back of my mind, I was thinking, you know, what is this going to look like? Is this really the next step for me? Because, I mean, I, um, am turning 40 next year. So I didn't mean to have such a big pause there. I'm sorry, I'm not. I had to think. I had to think about how old I was turning next year. It was either 39 or 40. I'm going to be 40 next year. So, you know, it. I did have that thought of, like, I don't know, midlife crisis, of, you know, is this what I want to be doing for however long I have to work and, you know, or is 18 years enough where I need some more structure and routine? And again, it was a really hard decision. But ultimately I was ready to say no. I had made my decision. It was a no. And then they sent me some emails about onboarding a company trip. And of course, the people pleaser in me, I started to feel bad. I didn't, you know, going into this, I didn't want to waste anyone's time. I was really excited about it. I felt like I was sure about it at the time. Like, maybe from the second to third round interviews, I was more and more excited and thinking, this is right for me. But, you know, I had decided I'm going to turn it down. And then when I got those emails about, you know, the company meeting that was coming up that they were going to book me flights for, I felt really guilty because I hadn't let them know I had made the decision. But I was waiting to send the email later that day and that made me start to second guess, am I making the right decision? So basically I asked my husband what I should do. And, you know, he said, of course, the supportive but slightly not helpful answer of, uh, it's your decision. Whatever you decide, I support you. And, you know, I told him that that's not really helpful. I need somebody to give me answers because I have been back and forth on this so many times that I am stressing the heck out right now. And I just need to make a final decision one way or the other. Like, I had, like, in two weeks I was either going to a mastermind in Atlanta or I was going to the company's team event in Edmonton. So that was stressful that I didn't know, you know, where I was flying to within two weeks. And I knew I had to make that decision. And basically what my husband said was, I don't know what to tell you. Flip a coin. So I decided, you know what? That's, let's do it. Because I have gone back and forth so many times, I'm stressing myself out and spiraling, and I just need to make a decision today. And I figured, you know, when I flipped the coin and see what it landed on, I would, I would be able to tell immediately how I felt, whether I was happy, sad, upset, wanted to do two out of three to see if I could change the answer. So I flipped the coin, I flipped a nickel, and it landed on not taking the job. And once I read that it was heads, which was not taking the job, I felt this, like, wave of relief wash over me. So that told me everything I needed to know that this isn't the right path for me right now. And honestly, making that decision and going through the interview process, it has kind of reignited my passion for business. And I'm feeling like I'm going to get back into the swing of things. And I have so many ideas that I'm working on because, yeah, I was just in a state of limbo for like a month of I don't know if I'm gonna, you know, end up having this job. What is that gonna look like? Like, I'm not gonna be able to do calls. I'm not gonna be able, like, what am I gonna do with my business? Like, what am I gonna do with the Introvertpreneur Club? And I had made a plan in the meantime, even before I knew I got the job, uh, if what I was going to do. So if I, if I did get it, I was going to basically shut down my business, except for the Introvertpreneur Club and potentially the podcast, just so I could come on here and ramble and share advice and still feel connected somewhat to, you know, the amazing audience that I've built. And, I mean, I could have easily done that and it would have worked. I. I could have, you know, pushed the Introvertpreneur Club calls to evenings or even on Saturdays. I could have moved VOX or Office Hour days to Saturdays. Like, it would have been doable. But I definitely made the right decision. And, you know, I am glad that I went through the process of knowing, you know, what a full time remote job would look like. And as much as I do love the company and the team and what the role would actually have entailed, like, what I would have been doing was definitely in my wheelhouse. It's definitely my favorite part of my own business and I think it would have been a lot of fun. And I just came to the realization that, you know, flexibility is really important to me. I've always known flexibility is important to me, but honestly, I need flexibility as someone, you know, who has a chronic illness and, you know, I deal if I wake up, uh, one day with a migraine. Like, I have the flexibility to push things that were on my to do list for the day because I always include buffer time. Nothing is ever time sensitive 100%, so I need that. And also just on the day to day, like I find many days, I would say probably three days a week, I am most productive in the evening hours. And you know, I just love working in the evenings on my laptop and being hyper focused if that happens or, you know, if I wake up one day and, um, I'm just really low energy and I can't focus on work, it's okay. I can push things and I have that flexibility. And you know, if it was a full time role where I could still have that flexibility, it would have been a m lot harder to turn down or decide it wasn't right for me. But ultimately that flexibility piece was the deciding factor. And yeah, I just wanted to share what's, what's been going on the past month and you know, hopefully this episode is a little helpful, just sharing the behind the scenes, real deal of, you know, 18 years of entrepreneurship and how things might be changing. So thank you so much for listening.