Episode 334: When Success No Longer Feels Successful

Speaker A: Welcome to the Grow youw Business and Grow youw Wealth podcast with Gary Helt. Gary is an expert in helping business owners put together a plan that will provide a better future for their businesses, themselves and their families. On the podcast, Gary interviews other professionals who share his vision and together they share secrets and strategies any business owner can use to build a better financial foundation for your business and your life.

Speaker B: Hey, welcome back to the podcast. This week Mike guest is Becca Pierce and she's the president of Extend Coaching and Consulting, where she helps individuals navigate change, embrace courage, and create lives that, uh, align with the values and aspirations. A former CEO and state official, Becca's own journey was transformed by two life altering events that challenged everything she believed about success and happiness. Drawing on over a decade of personal and professional growth, she teaches the power of vulnerability, optimism, and intentional living, encouraging others to stop waiting for someday and to start building their life that they want today. Welcome, Becca.

Speaker C: Thank you for having me.

Speaker B: Yeah. So, you know, give us, you know, some of your background. Um, you know, obviously, you know, you were a state official and you did other things before you started your, your coaching and consulting business. So give it, give us your background.

Speaker C: Yeah, so I actually spent the majority of my career in health insurance. I worked for the blues. I worked for Kaiser Permanente. I was appointed by Governor o' Malley in the state of Maryland to implement Obamacare for the state of Maryland. Uh, gave my heart and soul to that for two years. And it didn't turn on the way it was supposed to. And so I lost my job quite publicly, unfortunately, landed on my feet as a woman. This is actually a really big deal. Women don't normally land on their feet after there's such a, there's such a public failure like that. But I landed on my feet at a Medicaid MCO in the state of Maryland that then got bought by a hospital system. And so I found myself as a vice president within a Maryland hospital system within, you know, months of having lost my job publicly. So really landed on my feet again. Fast forward 14 months from losing my job. I couldn't hear out of my left ear and found out I had a brain tumor. Went in for a hearing exam and came out finding out that I had a brain tumor the size of a ping pong ball and needed surgery imminently. It was five weeks from the time I was diagnosed to the time that I was on the table. And the great news is it was benign, inoperable. This surgery was 11 years ago. Benign, inoperable are the best two words you can hear after you hear the word brain tumor, right? Um, and also really still a big deal. I spent the majority of 2015 learning to walk again. I am, um, deaf in my left ear, mostly blind in my left eye. It was as if I had a stroke on the table. There was, you know, major things going on. And I still have significant disabilities because of the surgery, not because of the brain tumor anymore. But the good news is I was able to, within about six months, I was able to do the job again. I was able to go back to work and I had to prove to myself that I could do the job again. I, I, you know, I've been this corporate warrior for so long and achievement was so important to me that I had to prove to myself I could do it again. And right about the time that I figured out, okay, I have this lift, like, I'm back right, right around that time, I had a choice one day and there was a big meeting going on at work and it started at 8 o', clock, but my daughter didn't get picked up, um, by the school bus until 8:30. And it was at that moment as I, uh, because at that moment I chose to go to that meeting. But the entire time I was thinking, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? This is not what I want. I want to be able to put my daughter on the bus. I now know that's the only thing that matters to me in life, that my title doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore. And so I quit my job, uh, within that system and uh, to which my husband said, you did what? Um, but I did that knowing that I was going to go, that I had already gone back to school to become an executive coach. So I did that knowing that I was going to become a small business owner, that I was going to enter this world of, uh, you know, entrepreneurial kind of spirit and build this thing. The funny thing is about it, and I apologize this is so long. But I think it's really important, the funny thing is about it that I left my job on, uh, uh, on June 2nd and I was sure that my business was going to be up and running by like June 17th. Like, oh, the website's going to be done, I'm going to have this, it's all going to be ready to go. And that did not happen. I firmly believe now that you need to allow yourself to get bored, like truly bored, like knocking your head on the dining room table board, which is what happened to me before. I found the passion that I needed to truly build the business. Because one of the things that I learned is that the relationship you have with yourself as a small business owner is 180 degrees from the relationship that you had with yourself in whatever career you had before. And until you give yourself that grace to recognize that you're constantly going to be firing yourself, that little voice on the shoulder is going to tell you that you're not good enough.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker C: So that's how I got to where I am today.

Speaker B: Right. So, uh, and now that you're doing the coaching, what has, um, I guess get you excited every day about continuing to do the coaching? Because like you said, I mean, you know, it. It's like, um, you got to become bored to. To push yourself forward. But what is it now that. That you have found that's getting you to continue pushing yourself forward and helping others?

Speaker C: The thing for me, truly is if I have a day of five clients, that's the best day of my week. Right. It. It's just, it's. It is truly working with clients. And first and foremost, the moment that somebody doesn't have a response, I do much of my coaching on the phone. The minute somebody doesn't have a response, that the other end goes silent is the best part of my day because I have asked them something or they have recognized something that is totally different in their life. And so that is what gets me up and going every day now as a business owner. Right. I, uh, just like everybody else, I've got to do the sales. We got it. You know, there are many pieces of it. And I'm also, you know, so I've still got to run the business now. I have support because I firmly believe that you either have an admin or you are an admin. So, you know, I have full support, but there's still that business owner stuff going on in the background, along with finding that space to truly be a good coach.

Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Um, you know, making that transformation lots of times is, um, is difficult, especially, you know, if, you know, like, you. You were, you know, an executive, you had a big job with the state, and then you had a big job, you know, in health care and in making that, making that change and then now talking to people about, you know, what has happened and so forth, because again, you're making yourself vulnerable because you're, you know, as they say, oh, you're showing your warts, you know, to. To someone and getting them to trust you. And I think that that's something. As business owners, lots of times, I think people forget that that we're really trying to get people to trust us. Not not only the. Our. Our clients or customers or anything like that, but. But also the people that are working with us. How do you help these business owners, you know, not be afraid to do that? Because I think that that's, to me, is a huge step.

Speaker C: And I think that really is where I lean into that vulnerability, where I now recognize that vulnerability is what actually makes you human, and it is that piece that allows people to connect with you. So prior to my surgery, I believed that, you know, nobody didn't see any chink in my arm or nobody's going to see me cry, nobody's going to see me sweat, you know, none of the above. And post surgery, there was no way to avoid the fact that I was vulnerable. And so it. Vulnerability was forced upon me. And that's when I realized that, oh my gosh, all of these people actually like me better now. Right? They actually can connect with me in a way that they couldn't connect with me before because I wouldn't show any of my arm, you know, any chinks in my armor. And so as a business owner, I think it's very hard because you want to be able to show that you are an expert in what you do, but at the same time to get people to connect with you. So. So for me, when I work with business owners, to answer your question, when I work with business owners is really a discussion around what pieces. Vulnerability is not throwing up on somebody to make somebody feel bad for you, right? Vulnerability. You can be vulnerable in certain areas. You can be vulnerable and say, I'm uncomfortable meeting new people. You know what. So is the other person, you know, you can say you're vulnerable about certain things and still be an expert in what you do. So we work on that.

Speaker B: Right? You know, it. And I think lots of times, and I think you said it, you know, earlier, is, is that many times as, as business owners, um, you know, we're going 100 miles an hour and, um, you know, we don't want to show that anything can slow us down and, you know, but we don't know it all, but we gotta kind of, you know, act like we do many times.

Speaker C: Right?

Speaker B: Um, you know, how do you help them, you know, really identify, hey, these are your weak spots. And we need to find somebody that either will work with you or, or get you to. For those spots not to be weak because it. Because again, it's that vulnerability to saying, hey, we're not perfect.

Speaker C: And that really comes down to When I work with clients, we spend a lot of time talking about, first of all, the, um, time value of money. And you can. I understand that when you started your business, somebody had to empty the garbage, and that makes sense. But you need to remember to promote yourself into that leadership role. It's fine that you were all of those things in the beginning, but you've got to promote yourself up the ranks and become the CEO of your business. And as we do that, I personally help them look at what are they good at and what are they fast at. You know, this is one of the tools. I have multiple tools, but one of the tools is the good, fast quadrant and making sure that if you're not good at it and you're slow at it, that needs to be completely outsourced to somebody else because you are wasting your business's time and money by spending time on that. And so if you think about, you know, how much it costs you, you know, if, for example, bookkeeping, right. This is an easy place for a lot of people. You know, any, any kind of, um, what I, uh, you know, general CPA support is a huge, usually a very good spot for people to start, because you didn't go into business to be a bookkeeper. But, you know, there are a lot of people like you, for example, that did go into business to help people do that, because that is what you do. And so if I can pay somebody else, ah, you know, at a bookkeeper rate, and I can be focused on growing my business, what a boon for the business. So it really is helping them understand what they can completely outsource and then what they can begin to delegate as soon as possible. Right?

Speaker B: Um, I guess how do you help them also then, you know, because we all have our achievements that, that we've gotten before, you know, we've started our business and then now that we have them. But lots of times I'm going to say as a business owner, we don't slow down to celebrate those achievements or the success that we've had. How do. How do. How do you help coach them to do that and then also, you know, do that with their employees?

Speaker C: That's a, That's a big one. Because you're right. As a business owner, it seems like, first of all, being a business owner is very lonely because who do you celebrate with? Um, and also it is the, you know, super important for you to slow down and be like, oh, I recognize that. That was amazing. Right? Look at me, like. And so what I talk about. So when I meet with My clients, because I meet with my clients once every three weeks or so because two weeks is too hectic and once a month is too few. So it's about every three weeks. And when we get together, I say, you know, what are you most proud of over the last three weeks? Right? To help them recognize that. Oh, or you know, I'll check in and say, you know, look at what you've achieved. Did you realize that you did this? And I slow down and point these things out for people because a lot of times they don't see it for themselves. Mhm.

Speaker B: Yeah. What?

Speaker C: Um,

Speaker B: I think, you know, I played sports growing up, you know, into college, and you know, we had coaches that were there to help us get better at many different things. How do you talk with the business owners to get them to understand having a coach or having someone to hold them accountable? Because again, as business owner it's kind of like, okay, well we're the top dog, there's nobody above us and you know, we try to hold ourselves accountable, but that's not the same. So how do you get them to, to understand that they need a coach, they need to have somebody that's going to hold them accountable.

Speaker C: A lot of times people will come to me and just say, I don't know what I need. Like, I know it's just not quite working. Like I'm stressed out, uh, I'm not growing the business. I feel stuck. I don't know how to make a decision or when to make a decision. And then when I do, I second guess my decision. Those are the types of things that if you're saying those things to yourself, it's time to actually find somebody to support you. Because if you think about it this way, every single person in your life has a vested interest in how your business runs. All the way down to the person that you meet at the gym at 5 o' clock in the morning. Because if something changes in your business and that changes their life in some way, a, uh, coach is the only person who my entire job is to be with you. I have, uh, no vested interest in where you go. I have no vested interest in what direction you take your business. My interest is in making sure that you're going where you want to go. And so that I think is the most important thing that business owners hear when they say, oh, somebody's got my back.

Speaker B: Mhm. Yeah. Um, when, when you talk to business owners and um, you know, I'm hm, gonna say they're, they're spinning out of control. Um, and and lots of times as business owners, we do that. How do you help them? I'm gonna say slow down and kind of still keep everything running, but try to get them out of that, that, that span.

Speaker C: Yeah, Uh, I have an example of just recently somebody called and said, you know, my right hand person, her operations director, who'd been with her for 15 years, just gave notice and she just was freaking out. Right. Like, just total. And so, you know, I, one of the things that I ask is, I say, okay, what do you know to be true right now? Because when you're in that state spin, it's easy to get overwhelmed. But overwhelm is really just a combination of a bunch of emotions. Overwhelm is not an emotion in itself. And so what we do is we slow down and I say, okay, what, what's the biggest fear going on right now? I hear you like I hear it, I got it. What's going on underneath that? And we get very specific about what's going on. Because if you can parse through them, what you recognize is that, you know, part of you may recognize that this actually is valuable, that she wasn't quite right for the position anyway. And so this is an opportunity, but that part's being, you know, squashed down by all of the other fears. So we really start to parse out and figure out what's truly going on. And that is what helps people to stop spinning.

Speaker B: Uh, how does this bleed over into their, their personal life? Because many times, you know, as a small business owner, we're, we're going 24, seven, um, which obviously it has, everything has effects back and forth. Do you help them kind, um, of divide this and make it better on both sides or how does that work?

Speaker C: I call myself a personal executive coach. And uh, I have a client who's been with me since 20, uh, 18, since I first, uh, open my doors. And she, uh, calls me her uh, work therapist. Because as a business owner there is no separation. If you haven't created a, a job, a job for yourself, a, a company for yourself that aligns with your values and aligns with who you are personally, then that is not going to sustain itself. And there's also a recognition, um, 80% of the business owners that I work with are women. But this is also true for men at this recognition that there are times that life is going to get in the way. That's part of the reason you went into business for yourself. And it's okay to just maintain while you're going through whatever you're Going through. And so I personally cannot separate the work from the, from the personal when we coach together because it is so intertwined. There is no work life balance. It is this integration, especially as a business owner, to recognize that sometimes work is going to win, sometimes family is going to win and having that place to work through all of it together.

Speaker B: Yeah, I think, um, you know, so many times people talk about work, life balance and stuff and like you said, it's integration. And that's one of the things, you know, some of the, you know, Tony Robbins, he says that he, you know, big into, you know, do you, you can't find that balance because it's never going to be balanced because one side or the other's always winning. But if you take and you try to figure out how you can integrate the two together, then it makes it a little bit more, uh, you know, easy to, to, to process everything and you're not feeling that, that, that constant, you know, tug of war going on.

Speaker C: Right, right.

Speaker B: Um, you know, obviously, you know, tomorrow is, is never guaranteed. And so many times as business owners and it's oh, ah, we'll get to that, I'll get to that, I'll get to that. And lots of times we never get to that. How do you help them, you know, set those goals? Uh, and to get, to get to it, to get it, get that done.

Speaker C: So that's, that goes in two different directions. And the first direction is, uh, I'll start with the small level first. And so how do we focus them? Um, you focus you on getting done what you need to get done. It really becomes kind of okay. As a business owner, what is the most important thing for you to focus on today? Because there can only be one most important, which is people are like, but no, I've got like three things that are most important. I was like, by definition, only one of them can be most important. So let's figure out where to focus and helping them recognize that every decision they make today impacts their long term decision. So then we get into that long term discussion. We're not promised tomorrow. Well, the most important thing you, um, can be focused on from a strategic perspective is what does my legacy want to be? What am, you know, what am I going to regret if I don't do helping them understand that it is that big of a picture for you to understand where to focus. Do you really need to be reading every email that goes out of your company? Probably not. Right, right. Like get yourself out of the weeds and focus on the big picture. What do you want, why did you go into this to begin with and how do we keep you on that track? And, and part of that is keeping people thinking about the fact that they have a legacy to leave. And what do you want that to be?

Speaker B: Right. So, you know, we've talked a lot about the uh, I'm going to say that the, the touchy feely side of, of the business coaching talk a little bit more about, you know, the other side, the financial side and what um, how you help people with their businesses with that too. Because I don't want this to seem like the only thing you're talking to them about is vulnerability. Vulnerability in their. You're doing way more than that.

Speaker C: Yeah, it's interesting. I would say that the reason that people come to me for coaching, uh, and I have a fun statistic and that statistic is this. If you're a business owner and you stay with me for over three years, you have an average 266% growth from when you walked in the door with me. And part of that is because 50% of the time we are in that space where we're talking about, okay, what is the big picture? What is the strategy which is hard. You know, we talk about soft skills and hard skills. Right? That is hard skill kind of stuff. This is the, the direction that you want to take your business. We also talk about the emotion. But as a coach, I bring to the table all of the pre surgery, drop your emotions at the door. Let's look at the bottom line. What does that impact on your business? Why did you spend that money? You know, where do you think you're going to get an ROI out of that? Like all of those kinds of bottom line business discussion balance directly with, okay, why do you think you need that? Like, let's really get into the emotion and the decision making behind that. And so it's the combination of those two that, that I bring to the table right now.

Speaker B: Uh, people are going to say, I think, and I'm sure you've dealt with this many, many times, you know, the two big objections. Where am I going to find the time to be able to do this? And then how, how am I going to be able to afford it?

Speaker C: So I think it's really. Yeah, so I think it's really interesting because as I was going through coaching school and I was also a Vistage chair for a little bit, which is a program that coaches CEOs, um, and they would always say, you know, Vistage gives you your time back. And I would say, I Don't understand that, like, how does that work? But I have one client who said to me several weeks ago, I literally don't make a decision until I've talked it through with you. Because you saved me hours of thinking about it right in the, in that one hour that we spend together, you saved me three to four hours of, um, hemming and hawing and sending it out to people that I shouldn't be asking, you know, all of that kind of stuff. In that decision making process. As a business owner, when you're alone, going back to that, it's very lonely. Who are you going to talk to? I save people time and energy there. Um, and also from a financial perspective, 97% of CEOs who have gone through coaching said they would repeat it, and the average return that they expect is 5.1%.

Speaker B: Yeah, it's, it's always that, that, um, that's a tough threshold to cross is, is what I always. Yeah, you know, see, and, and I think again, I, I think many times it's having somebody hold them accountable. I think is, is something that, lots of times, you know, because again, like I said earlier, business owners, you know, we, we hold everybody else accountable, or at least we should be, you know, who's holding us accountable. And having a, you know, a friend or a spouse or somebody like that do that isn't the same. Um, and I think sometimes we have to, um, you know, as you said, you know, earlier, it's like, hey, you know, I had to beat my head on the table because I was so bored there for a while. So it's kind of, kind of the same thing. It's like, you know, you have to, you know, feel that pain kind of to be able to move forward. And how can I do that when, hey, everything's successful? How can I still, you know, create that pain to, to keep pushing myself to, to move forward? Um, how, you know, it, how do you help people, you know, with that piece of it? Because I, you know, to me that's, that's huge.

Speaker C: Yeah. And I think as you're talking, what's coming up for me is just this idea that it, it's so easy as, uh, a business owner to get caught doing the things that are comfortable doing the things that you went into business to do. But having somebody, you know, when you work with me, you have homework, right? It's strategic homework. It's thinking about where you want to go, why you did this in the first place. How are you going to get from point A to point B. When's the right person to hire somebody? It forces you to think strategically about your business in a way that you would never do on your own, because, A, it's not comfortable. B, you don't have time for it because you're so stuck in the things that you think are keeping you busy right now. And so it is that. That's the accountability. Nobody likes to show up to a session with me not having done their homework. Right, right. You know, somebody said to me, well, I did it. I did it last night. I'm like, good. I don't care when you did it. I'm glad you did it. Right, right, right.

Speaker B: Um, what are some areas in your coaching that you do that people wouldn't think that, um, an executive coach is doing?

Speaker C: So I recently wrote a book called you don't have to achieve to be Loved. And it is partially my journey on the transition that I went through from being a corporate warrior to opening my own business. But it also lays out the change process that every single person goes through when they are making a significant change. And so we work on every, uh, anytime we're working on your business, you are actually going through a significant change, whether you just started your business or you're exiting your business or anywhere in between. If you're making, you know, you're adding a new product or you're diversifying or maybe somebody came in and said they wanted to buy you. Any of those things automatically puts you into a change process that I help people work through that they may not think that a coach is going to do. Right. So I think that the other important thing is recognizing that while a consultant may tell you what to do, a coach helps you figure out what you already know. And so it is a little bit of a combination of consulting and coaching that I bring to the table. But it is truly this helping you understand where you are and how you can change your patterns to become a stronger leader, make more money, be the person you want to be. Right, Right.

Speaker B: Becca, we talked. Talked about a lot of. A lot of good stuff. Um, what have I not asked you that you wish I had?

Speaker C: I think if I were to say the. The most important thing as a business owner is to recognize that piece that I said in the very beginning. And I'll just reiterate that is the relationship you have with yourself as a business owner is completely different than the relationship you had with yourself ever before. And giving yourself the grace to recog. I didn't go to school for this. I didn't, you know, I I. I may have gone to school for the technical part of my business, but I didn't go for to become a business owner. And so allowing yourself the grace to ask for help, I understand you might advice vice president somewhere. That's okay. You've never been a business owner before. Ask the experts the questions and allow yourself the space. We all know that there are questions out there. That's why we would do what we do. So I hope business owners would hear that, that it's okay to ask questions. That's why we're here.

Speaker B: Right? Right. So, Beck, if people like what they hear and they want to reach out to you, they want to learn more about you and your coaching, how can they do that?

Speaker C: The best way to find me is I have two websites. But the first one, the most important one, is morebecapierce.com because I say it that way because it's easier. Um, and Becca Pierce's. Pierce is P E A R c e. So morebecapierce.com you can find out about all of my coaching on there. My business, uh, the other business that I own, extend coaches, www.extendcoach.com. there you can find anything that you want from a small business perspective, how I help from a strategy perspective, how I run small business groups to support people. Anything like that come in from an individual coaching perspective. If you're a partner and you have trouble with your partner, I coach partners, you know, that type of thing. So all of that is on extend coach.com Great.

Speaker B: Becca, I really appreciate your time today and enjoyed our conversation.

Speaker C: Thank you.

Speaker B: Great. Hey, this week my guest was Becca Pierce, and she's the president of Extend Coaching and Consulting. And I'll see you guys next week.