Dying to Live Part 2

Host: Foreign. Hello. Welcome back to the Full Spectrum Safety Consulting podcast. We have a familiar face with us today. You may recognize him, Mr. Rob Hoadley. And we'll, We'll, We'll. We'll reintroduce everybody to him here. Uh, here in a moment. This is part two of our conversation. In part one, we dove deep and we heard the story about at that moment, you're 23, out of hospital, sudden cardiac arrest. And it's been a minute since we talked, so maybe I should just ask. I mean, because it's October was when we last spoke. Uh, it's still 23, right?

Rob Hoadley: Yes, yes, it is still 23. Yeah. Thank you. Okay, good.

Host: I'm happy to hear. Nothing changed there, and I don't wish that upon you, but, uh, when, when you have a story like yours, we, we gotta, we gotta confirm some things. So, uh, we had a great conversation last time, and we're gonna, you know, we're gonna continue with that, uh, as well. So before we jump into it, why don't you just take a moment and reintroduce yourself to folks that maybe haven't met you before.

Rob Hoadley: Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Uh, uh, thanks for having me on, man. Uh, uh, I think getting this kind of information out is really helpful. You know, there are people that look for help in a bunch of different ways, and one of them is going to be on platforms like yours. So I think it's really a cool thing you're doing. So that was first off. But, yes, my name is Rob Hoadley. I live in San Diego. But over the past 15 years, I've had 23 out of hospital, sudden cardiac arrests in, uh, four different, uh, events. Basically, the, the first was in 2021. There were five then, and in 2018, I had two more. February of 21, I had one more. And then, uh, I think we closed out our last episode, uh, with the Mexico fiasco, which was, uh, 15 cardiac arrests in eight hours on Christmas. Absolutely. Yeah. And that was, that was a tough day, man. That was a tough day. But so now I, I, um, after my first event in 2011, changed my whole life to now. Now I, I sell defibrillators and try and help people get cardiac emergency response plans in. In place, because the one that was supposed to respond to me in the very first place, it failed. So now I have a cool marriage of. My personal and professional mission is to save lives through the continuation of my own.

Host: Uh, that's a awesome story, man. You left us with a quote, and I know you're going to remember this quote because you said it. And you said every time you speak, you end with the quote, uh, yeah, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, and that's why it's called the present.

Rob Hoadley: That's right.

Host: Are you still. Are you still using that at the end of all your presentations?

Rob Hoadley: Every day, Every time. Every time. I just spoke for the American Heart association up in Seattle for a program that's called Hard Hats with Hearts. And, uh, I close. I closed my speech out there with that exact same quote because I truly believe that every day is a gift. And, um, um, when. When you have faced your mortality in the way I have, or I should say nobody. I mean, the. When I. Since I have faced it the way I have, I truly believe every time I open my eyes in the morning and draw that first breath, knowing I'm awake, hey, I won. It's a victory already. So now the rest of it's gravy and it's. It's a present that I unwrap every day, man.

Host: Yeah. Awesome. Well, last time we spoke was October, as I mentioned earlier, and there was National Sudden Cardiac Arrest, uh, or National Sudden Cardiac Awareness Month. Now we're speaking. We're right outside of the window. But last week was National CPR and AED Awareness Week. Uh, so I know you probably had some things going on there. Anything new and exciting on, um, that front from National CPR and AED Awareness Week?

Rob Hoadley: Well, yeah, well, I recently joined this company, Cardio Partners, and that was new and exciting. And I was able to, uh, uh, put a couple of videos up on social media talking about the increasing the awareness of CPR and AEDs. And I responded on a bunch of posts that I saw, like on LinkedIn and such that that were promoting this that week and that understanding that week that, you know, it was bystander CPR that saved my life. You know, there's one guy, Tom Farley, who did seven and a half minutes of bystander CPR on me. And if anybody listening doesn't know how long that is, try it. I mean, try it. When you go to your CPR class, you only have to do it for two minutes. And people are sweating, people are tired, and they don't want to do it anymore. And, well, Tom did it for seven and a half minutes to keep oxygenated blood to my brain. Uh, that. That CPR awareness second. One of the halves of that awareness week, a CPR man saved my life. And, you know, and then having a, uh, an AED early Access to defibrillation that increases the survival for other people. So that's a really important topic to me, and I appreciate you asking that question, but, um, I placed a bunch of AEDs last week, saw a couple of AEDs that had no batteries and no pads at all, and was able to get those rescue ready before I walked away.

Host: From my experience, you posted something about that, right?

Rob Hoadley: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I went into a store and I saw that there was an AED on the wall and it had a X indicator. I looked at it and I'm like, hey, man, manager guy, can I talk to you real quick about this device? Because I, you know, I look for him every time I go into a place. It's part of who I am now. And he said, yeah, and he was really open to the conversation and I was so thankful for that. Uh, and then. But we opened it up and, and I think because of the model, I'm like, you know, it doesn't really check for pad expiration, so might be your batteries. Can I open that up and check it out? Well, I pulled the lid off and first off I saw there were no pads. And then I pulled the back off and there were no batteries either. And it had been in that case and it had been in that cabinet for almost two years, just like that. And I'm like, oh, my God, do you have more AEDs in here like that? He's like, no, but I put 15 of them across my district. I was like, oh, my God, I need to know where those are because there might be 14 more out there that look just like this. Uh, anyway, so we're engaged in getting that done. And that was right during the middle of the week of the CPR AED awareness week. So I feel like I was really making a difference. And before I left, we agreed, like, we agree that, you know, what we just did might have saved somebody's life, man. Do you feel that? And he's like, yeah, I totally feel that. I'm like, right on, man. So then he's connecting me with the rest of the people so I can go in and do a little training and show them where to, how to put it all together and, and then maybe it'll be a customer, maybe it won't. But that was part of my advocacy and, but still part of my job, so it's all really kind of cool and coming together.

Host: That's crazy, man. Yeah, I saw that post on LinkedIn and I, uh, I, uh, did a double take. I was like, there's no way. I often get the same type of feedback from folks and I'm posting on stuff regarding, you know, whatever it is, a fire extinguisher mishap or something being blocked, emergency equipment and you know, AEDs are emergency equipment. And you see it without pads, no batteries and wasn't. It wasn't ready to, to perform a rescue. So that's crazy. Well look man, let's get into it. Uh, for our listeners, if you did not listen to part one, here's the, here's the part where you go and listen to part one and then listen to that and then come back and listen to part two. So uh, that's the public service announcement as we get into it. So where we left off previously was the uh, yeah, your, uh, your, your travel to Mexico and let's see, looking at my notes here, you had, was it five events in Mexico?

Rob Hoadley: No, it was 15. 15, 15 shocks by my. Yeah, shocks. 15 shocks by my defibrillator in an eight hour window. And it's impossible for me to explain all the things that were happening in my brain at that point. Um, because, because it's sudden cardiac arrest and you don't really know when it's going to happen. It was just, it was just random. And so I would like lean to my left and I would get shocked. I'm like, oh my God. Okay, don't leave to your left anymore, you know. And then I would lean to my right and get shocked there like, oh shoot, I can't do that either. Oh my God. I want to stay here and just be straight and still. I'll be still. Oh my God.

Host: Shit.

Rob Hoadley: And then what if I raised my left hand, you know, and it was nuts and there was no rhyme or reason, there was no uh, inter. It was totally intermittent. And uh, there was one point my wife had actually was uh, holding my hand in the uh, ICU in San Jose del Cabo. And uh, she was holding my hand and saying, you know, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. And I got shocked while she was holding my hand and she actually realized energy all the way up to her elbow from the shock that I received. And she was like, uh, she, you know, made a remark that you would make when you get shocked like that. And then I got out of the room, right, and she left. And she told me later that she goes, rob, I'm so sorry, I, I was cussing like that and just left the room. I was going to get a doctor and I'm like, babe, look, in that situation, there are really no rules on how you're supposed to act or react to that, for sure. And totally honest. I mean, full transparency. I told my wife, I, I wasn't really thinking about you at that time. I was thinking about me. I didn't know if I was going to make it or not. So I appreciate that, but you are absolutely absolved of any problems or wrongdoing

Host: that was crazy for our listeners. Can we just. Can we just Clarify that those 15 shocks over eight hours, I think it was right? Those were from your. In internal. Your internal defibrillator. Uh, so that was from your aicd, correct?

Rob Hoadley: That is correct. It's a galant doctor by Abbott. And, uh, it. It appropriately shocked me that many times. So that's one of the things that people that live with an icd, uh, are, uh, for in fear of, is that their device will shock them inappropriately. And that has happened in the past with other people. I have never received that myself. All of mine have been appropriate. All of them. In fact. My personal best right now for a heart rate and, you know, and you can pause to let everybody check their heart rate and see what it is for comparison. Like right now, mine sitting here is 60, uh, five beats a minute. Okay, Just resting heart rate. But my personal best, the highest that I have recorded on my device when they've downloaded it, is 444 beats a minute. That is not sustainable. That is a fatal rhythm. That is ventricular fibrillation. And it happened twice when I was in Mexico, and there were several others that were in the high three hundreds. So those were absolutely appropriate shocks. And, uh, wow. Luckily, my docs were able to talk to the medics in Mexico to get a cocktail in me of amiodarone and, uh, metropolol and lidocaine to get me out of my electrical storm that I was going through. Wow.

Host: So 15 times over eight hours. What was going through your head? Did you just want to get back to the U.S. did you want another CESA? Like, what was going through your head?

Rob Hoadley: Well, I was not drinking at the time, at all. Thank you. But, you know, uh, there was a lot going on in my head, man, because one of the things they told me dog, was, uh, well, Mr. Hoadley, um, this is happening, and we don't know how much, uh, energy or device has left in it. So we may have to do an emergency pacemaker report placement. We may have to do an emergency cardiac ablation. And for those listening and don't know what an ablation Is, it's where they go in through this part of your arm right here and go up here with a little telescopy thing and go into your heart and cauterize part of your heart, like zap it and burn it so that nerve stimuli don't happen right there. Because they think that might be the place where the cardiac arrest is originating from. So in Mexico, in this place that looks like it's in a strip mall, they were going to try and do this invasive procedure and then a pacemaker replacement, my man. I mean like, open me up and like take mine out and put another one in. And I'm like, no, man, what we need to focus on right now is getting me the heck out of here and getting me to my doc in La Jolla in California. That's what we need to do. And uh, thank God somebody else was also on my side on that. Okay. What was going through my head was I can't go to sleep. I can't go to sleep because they're gonna sedate me and then they're going to do this procedure and call it an emergency or whatever. And uh, because I didn't really feel, I didn't feel comfortable there. The equipment that I saw on the side of the wall, there was a monitor, a cardiac monitor that like they were gonna shock me with if I went into a cardiac arrest that I didn't come out of. And you, uh, know how old computer monitors kind of get like that yellowy look that yellow and like things you see in a museum? Well, this monitor was that color and a, ah, brand that I, I've just never heard of, man. And I'm like, I've been in this business for almost 10 years and I don't know what that is, so. Oh, no, no, we gotta get outta here. I called, I called three Navy retired Navy SEALs from San Diego to come get me. And they're like, send up a flare, dude. If you want us, come get you out of there, set up a flare. And I'm like, all right. And then I called a, uh, basically a trophy truck racing team, like a Baja 1000 racing team. Out of who? They're based in Cabo, right? Villa Docello Racing. Just saying they're really great guy. Gus is the owner. He's a great dude. But my point is, I called them. I called their, one of their lead guys who happened to be the guy that saved me with CPR all those years ago. And I'm like, tom, I, um, might need your team, man. I, uh, might need Cause I know they have a jet and a helicopter and I'm like, you got to get me out of here. Well, little did I know, none of that, none of that was necessary because I didn't realize that my wife had enacted all of her superpowers in the interstellar universe to get me out of Mexico. And so I will say it like this. My cardiac arrests all happen on Christmas Eve, which sucks. But we were supposed to leave Christmas Eve. We were supposed to leave Mexico and come back to the States. So in essence, Christmas Day. Now it's a Saturday. Christmas Day. The. Our immigration paperwork is now, we call it expired. It's expired. It's. So we're in the country almost illegally, basically. And I'm like, oh, no. And so I wasn't thinking about any of that. But she, my wife, Dori is her name and she is amazing. She got into the consulate, she updated our immigration paperwork using consulate resources, secured an ICU bed for me in La Jolla Cana, and secured a jet to take me out of Mexico Sunday morning at 8am, doesn't speak Spanish, didn't spend any money, and just got me the hell out of Mexico. I, I am stunned with that man. Still to this day. Because look, the fact is, I challenge you to go to your local DMV. I mean, granted, it's after hours right now it's 4:30. Right, right. But at 9:00 clock tomorrow morning, go to the DMV and try and get your license renewed. The most basic legislative state thing you can do in your own country on a Wednesday at 9:00am um, non holiday. And you will not be able to do it. And for my wife to pull off that level of logistics stuff, I was like, oh my gosh, I don't even know. I don't even know how you did

Host: that on Christmas Eve.

Rob Hoadley: Christmas Day. Christmas day. Saturday. A Saturday.

Host: Christmas day. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Rob Hoadley: Yeah, It's a weekend. It's a holiday. Heavily religious holiday in Mexico. Doesn't speak Spanish, didn't spend any money. I don't.

Host: Whatever. Uh, and all the while you're calling in the SEAL Team, all the while you're calling in the SEAL Team. And she had it taken care of.

Rob Hoadley: Dude, I'm just laying there. Seal Team Six. Uh, shout out Seal Team Six. But that's not who I call, you know? You know, I didn't have any food, didn't have, I didn't have cafeteria. I wasn't eating. My wife got me some eggs from out in the Sokolo and like, brought them and then they brought them back and I ate them. I asked for water. And time I ask for water. Do you. Okay, so you've been in the hospital before. People are listening. Have been in a hospital before. When you say, I would like some water, they bring you in the great pitcher and they say, hey, do you want ice or no ice? And you bring it in and, uh, then you pour it in your cup and then you drink it, right? Well, I'm like, hey, could I get some water? And then every time I asked for water, they brought me in another little bottle of water. But it was always like a different brand. Like they were taking it out of people's lunches or something. Because it wasn't. It was. There was no uniformity to it. And I'm like, oh, my God, where are you getting this? I was. I was freaking out, man. So I didn't eat and didn't sleep and had several brands of water for two days. And I'm going to tell you this. And so I am working on trying to. Trying to write a book, but there was a point Len. And, uh, this is where you can grab a thumbnail and. And just say, this is a. This is an emotional response to your questions. To me, there was a point where didn't. I didn't know that if my battery was going to go off or if my battery was going to shock me again. I was. The cortisol and adrenaline were still shooting through my body. I hadn't heard from my wife in hours. Everybody, like, not even running around, but, like, one person looking at me through this window in their icu, and my brain was just spinning, man. And I was sure that I was going to die in Mexico. I knew it. And, uh. And I was like, well, before that happens, I'm. I'm gonna get a last message out to my family. So I recorded a goodbye message to my family, making peace for, uh, things that I had done wrong. Um, celebrating some of the things we had done together that were right, and literally saying goodbye. And, wow, thank God I got to delete that video. When. When we talk about this topic and we talk about these kind of things, the concept of facing your mortality really face to face. And I say that literally because it felt like. Like, in my book, I'm going to say something like, it felt like the heat of death's breath was on my face. Like, I felt like if I close my eyes and go to sleep, I wasn't going to wake back up.

Host: So, uh, I'm really glad I did, like, impending Doom. When people say impending doom.

Rob Hoadley: Yeah, yeah. That would be absolutely the definition of that. No question. No question. It was just. I just knew I had decided that's what was going to happen. If I closed my eyes, I wasn't going to open them back up. Uh, but I got back out. I got. Obviously, I got out of the hospital. They got me. Go ahead.

Host: So. So Dori worked her magic. She got you out of Mexico. No cost, jet the whole deal back to the U.S. you made it back to the U.S. on Sunday.

Rob Hoadley: Yeah, on Sunday. And rolled, uh, into UCSD La Jolla. And it was interesting because we had a flight doc and a flight nurse that came from Mexico with us. Cause I was on. I was still hooked to their IVs and on their monitor, and they weren't going to let go of the patient until I was in the care of another icu, which is fantastic. That was great. And they were amazing. They were amazing. But we rolled into ucsc, and if you've ever been to that campus, it is insane. It's huge. It's huge, massive buildings. And in Spanish, the. One of the doctors said to the EMT and ambulance with us and said, uh, you know, which building. Which building is the ICU or which building is the hospital? And the guy looked out the window. He's like, no, all of them. No, it's muy grande. It's huge. And the guy was just. I mean, his eyes are, like, huge. And then we got into the hospital, and they said, this is. My patient is Robert Hoodley, and we are going to the icu. She said, well, which one? We have three floors of icu. And the, uh, doctor and the nurse looked at each other in absolute, utter amazement that there was this level of care that was available. It felt great to me. I'm gonna tell you that. Look, there's a lot of complaints about our healthcare system in the US And I'll agree it costs too much, but, man, brother, man, spend one night. Spend one night in a Mexican icu, and you're gonna have a different perspective. I'm gonna tell you that. Because then I got great care at ucsd. And then we, uh. I was discharged after the New year because they wanted to do an ablation in ucsd. I missed my daughter marching in the Rose bowl parade with the University of Utah marching band. But I got to watch it on tv, so. But I was in the right place. I should have been on constant telemetry and, uh, you know, and observation. Because if that happened again at the Rose bowl, the Option. The idea that you could get EMS to me and then me to a hospital fast enough would. Is just stupid. So I made the right decision. Uh, I missed that, but it was the right decision. They did an ablation. They feel like it's 85%. They feel 85% sure that they got the spot where my cardiac arrest was originating from, and I haven't had one since, so maybe. Maybe they're right. I don't know. I'll take. It's a B plus, right? 5%, but I'll take it.

Host: Yeah. And that was December 2021.

Rob Hoadley: It was actually January of 22, because I was in the hospital that whole time. And Christmas. Uh, yeah, the. Yeah, the arrest, that was. Yeah, that was Christmas Eve, 2021.

Host: Right, right, man. Wild. Wild.

Rob Hoadley: Yeah.

Host: So we put all this together from part one, what we just heard with part two, and that's how we get to your total of 23 sudden cardiac arrest events. You had five on April 1st of 2011.

Rob Hoadley: Yep.

Host: Two in 2018, one in February of 2021. And then the electrical storm of December of 2021 will get you.

Rob Hoadley: Yeah, exactly.

Host: This. It's. It's wild. Every time I hear the story, I just.

Rob Hoadley: I can't.

Host: I can't believe it. And again, the survival rate is less than 10% for any one sudden cardiac arrest. And we're sitting here talking about, uh, in totality. And I would agree with you to a statement you previously made about these being, you know, independent events. You know, in the session one you were talking about. Oh, some people would say, you know, the five. And on April. April 1st of 2011 is just one event. You're like, no, that's five different events. And I would agree with that.

Rob Hoadley: Well, thank you. So how.

Host: Uh, I'm sure there's a mental health component to this as well. So as we kind of wrap this whole thing up and bring it full circle, how has that played into who Rob Hoadley is, how you cope with this, how you deal with it, and how you just continue to live your. To live your best life? You just told me, you know, this weekend, you're jumping on your, uh, your bike, and you're. You're. You're headed out of Dodge. So how do you continue to do. What is it?

Rob Hoadley: You know, that's a great question, and I speak around the country on that. And resilience during, through, and after trauma, especially multiple traumas like you just outlined. Uh, because every time you recover from those, it's different, because every event is slightly different. You're older or whatever, and, well, it. Facing your mortality for real, like I mentioned earlier, is, uh, is a very different experience than typical. Uh, and it makes you really. It has made me appreciate what is truly important in my life. My family, my friends. Um, and that's about it. That's, you know, all the stuff is just stuff and all the other stuff is just stuff. And I, whatever. I don't. Wherever my wife is going to be happy, I'm happy. And, and I say happy, I guess, but it really, it really caused, uh, some problems with me. Especially the. The Mexico one was really the biggest smash. And I started to self medicate a lot with alcohol. I had massive panic attacks, uh, depression and I could. If I, If I just reach for something and I have a slight pain in my chest, my brain thinks I'm gonna die. So it releases cortisol and adrenaline and it's a full fight or flight moment and. But nothing's really happening. But that adrenaline hits you. And like now my breathing is shallow and, and you know, and I'm fidgety and I'm like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I'm. And I have to, I have to rein myself back in and, and that's not a panic attack, because panic attacks are much worse than that. So there's no confusion there. But I've had those as well. And um, those are terrible. And anybody that suffers from those, I. My heart's out to you. I take medication to improve my mood, to improve my focus, and to keep those kind of freakouts down. I take medication, uh, to stop premature ventricular contractions in my heart because that's what they think is starting these cardiac arrests. So we try and, uh, suppress those. Um, and the thing that has helped me the most now, and it has, uh, reduced a lot of my night terrors. Because when you have ptsd, like, which is what this is, it, uh, it doesn't discriminate, like, because I have Persian Gulf War PTSD also. So your brain doesn't discriminate, like, oh, you can't dream about that tonight because we're dreaming about this tonight. They go together and then it's like, oh, no, that's a whole different flavor of the soup. And it has a whole different magnified impact in your life. And I have found now through, um, a lot of counseling and some peer interaction with a group that I was talking to military, uh, veterans and first responders who, uh, were and are, uh, navigating through the same kind of troubles, the cognitive, behavioral Therapy has really helped me understand that you have. Everybody has a, uh, feeling feelings. Like, you don't ask for them, they come right. Ah, feelings. And then you have emotions that come off of those feelings. And, uh, once you have those emotions, that's actually where you can get involved. You yourself. Because now you have the. From the feeling to the emotion to the actual acting out of that emotion. Now, uh, whether that's in speech or in action or physically or whatever, that's the only place you have to negotiate or navigate or slow that down is after the emotion is there. So, okay, now. So, uh, I feel this way now. I'm mad. Okay, I'm mad. So. So what. What am I going to do with that? Do. I'm in it. I'm in a restaurant. Am I going to put that mat on the waitress and be a total asshole to her or. Or him? You know, whatever? And then, you know. So why would you. Why would you do that if you stop and think in a calm state? Why would I do that? It helps you prepare for when you do get mad at a restaurant or you do get mad in a setting. And, you know, wait, wait, wait. I don't want to put that on somebody. So let me process that. And then how can. And then, you know, and I'm in a place now, for now, I can say, okay, well, what started that initial feeling that got me to mad, that got me to almost act out? Well, let's. Let's figure that out. Uh, let's get that thing out of the way so I don't feel like that again. And so doing that has helped me get to a place where now I don't really get mad, man. You know, there are. Sometimes I think I don't get mad enough, honestly. But I'd much rather err on that side than be on the news for some, you know, ptsd, you know, acting out event thing, man. But right it. I'm at a spot where, like I was saying before, I don't drink anymore. I don't do anything that's not prescribed to me. I've, um, gotten a lot of help through the va, thank Gosh, you know, shout out to the Phoenix VA and, um, La Jolla va. They've done a lot with me and for me, um, and, you know, and. And it's a. It's something that I really battled with. I still do. I still get choked up and cry and that's. Yeah, hey, people cry. Go ahead and cry, man. It's a natural reaction. You have tear ducts for A total reason. Absolutely. Cry. And you first responders out there, I don't know when you get to cry, you know, it's, uh, not. You're not supposed to cry at the scene. You're definitely not supposed to cry back at the house or the precinct or whatever. And then when you go home, you're not supposed to cry in front of your spouse or your loved ones or whatever. So.

Host: Yeah.

Rob Hoadley: Yeah. So I offered this for your consideration. First responders, military, and that includes dispatch, by the way, because we've put. We. We've embraced them as a first responder now because of the trauma that they go through. And they, they don't even get to finish the book. Right. They don't even get to finish the whole story. They just pass it off to them and then they're done dispatching and they don't even know the end of the thing. So. But they're finding that those impact is very real on them, too. So shout out to you, but give yourself permission to do that. Find a place. I gave permission to or I didn't. I offered for people to give themselves permission at a talk I did, uh, just outside of Pittsburgh at EMS west. And I was amazed at the amount of people that were crying. When I was done talking, it felt. It felt so good. And it just kind of came to me like, wow, I bet you guys haven't. And the director of EMS for the state of Pennsylvania stopped after. Stopped me after the talk, and he was still a mess. I mean, all of the holes in his face were leaking something. And I, uh, was like, wow, do you want to go talk? You know, I mean, uh, I mean, I'm happy to lend a ear because. No, I just want you to know I haven't cried in 10 years, man. I haven't cried in 10 years. And you just offering me the freedom to give myself that permission opened up something that I hadn't felt in a long time. And so there's. There's a very real human, human side to this. I'm happy to be part of it. I. I love that. I love that I have the story. I do. So that people will listen to it. Me, you know, I don't know how long I have left. I don't know what tomorrow is. You know, I have plans, right? We all have plans. They always go perfectly. Not so. I don't know what's going to happen, man. You know, but what I know is that I'm not going to look backwards. My wife and I made a vow to each other not to look backwards, like if this shit goes down again, we're going to handle it again. But if it doesn't, we're not going to invite it, we're not going to borrow problems. And so we just keep pointing forward and going forward. I have a mission to place as many AEDs out there as I can that I know work. I have a mission to help people through and after trauma. I have a mission to help people that have survived cardiac arrest and living with ICD try and understand that, try to navigate that and move on with their life. And as long as I'm moving toward that and I can make my wife smile one more time, my daughter Lauren smile one more time, my daughter Kristen smile one more time. Wait, and if they all did it at the same time, like together, that would be amazing. That's what I want. And you know, but then I just want it one more time. So kind of greedy that way. But that's all I'm working toward. You notice I didn't say anything about money. I didn't say anything about stuff and say anything about notoriety or anything like that. All I want is to survive and really, really live life. Not just survive this, but live life.

Host: Man, Brother, man, that's, uh. I, uh, don't have, I don't have the words. But I want to say again, thank you for sharing because what I took out of that was you've gained a level of self awareness. Uh, it feels and seems like to me you are ultra self aware. And you know, you also said something in episode one, obligations versus Opportunities. And I think you're now at a point in your life where you realize, you know, you have an opportunity to make an impact. You have an opportunity, you know, to project change onto people. So, so thank you for that. Thank you for everything that you do. I think it would only be fitting as we, as we wrap this up, uh, if you, if you go ahead and close it out the way you close out these type of sessions.

Rob Hoadley: Thank you very much, man. Thank you for having me on again. Thank you. For anybody who's listening, it's easy to contact me through whatever social you want to get on. If you want to talk, hit me up. My name is Rob. Reach out. Right. But please remember as you go through your day that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That's why it's called the problem. Thank you, Glenn.

Host: Absolutely, my man. Thank you. And as always, be safe out there.

Rob Hoadley: Sam.