306. Instant Relief: Try This After a Tough Day (to go from Chaos to Peace)

Speaker A: Well, hello, my friend. I'm, um, your host, Koniggraf. Thank you so much for loving me back into your ears. This episode is inspired by a client call a couple of weeks ago. My client had one of those very rough days that are not just busy, but also very heavy and when emotions are flying high and we're all, um, beyond exhausted. Right. You probably had days like this as well. So, naturally, by the end of the day, she was completely exhausted and very overwhelmed. And when we talked on the phone, she was technically off work, but her body and her mind were still at work. Her thoughts were going in circles and at 100 miles an hour, right? And her nervous system was buzzing again. We all probably all know the days like this. She also had missed our coaching call earlier that day because of what was going on in her business that day. And it was a lot of drama. And so in the end, we talked at the end of the day, shortly on the phone, and when she told me what all happened, she then asked me, what do you do now, Connie? What is your advice? And, uh, my advice really surprised her because it was very, very simple. And it might surprise you too, but it's a very helpful tool. And so I thought, I really want to share it here on the podcast. So what I said to her was, go take a shower. Even better if you can, wash your hair. And I told her to do it very intentionally while the water runs over her and down on her, to think something like, I wash this stress off of me. I let it all go down the drain. It goes. Now let me back up a bit, because this is not just some random advice I invented on the spot. Years ago, when I did my clutter clearing practitioner training, we were taught to always wash our hands after working with clients, of course, for cleanliness reasons, but mostly as an energetic practice, a way of saying, I'm, um, done now. I released what I picked up. I come back to myself, and I've never forgotten that. And I know firsthand that taking a shower actually works. Because when you work with overwhelmed humans, whether you're coaching, leading a team, parenting, caregiving, or running a business, you don't just handle tasks. You also hold emotions, theirs and your own. You might be holding tension, other people's stress, and all of this sometimes even without realizing it. And water helps you let go of all of that, and it lets you come back to yourself to get centered again. Now, you might be thinking, connie, is this woo or is it science? And to that, my answer is yes, it's actually both. And I decided to do a little bit of research before I talk about it here on the podcast. So. So let's start with the woo, with the mystical, the mystical reasons why it works. Water is the element of cleansing, release, and emotional flow. Water is purification in virtually every major tradition. It also marks a transition. It's like a ritual, a reset, and a symbolic before and after. In a lot of cultures, our nervous system loves rituals and routines because they are predictable. It's familiar. If you intentionally create some soothing routines or rituals, you can really greatly influence your nervous system. Because when you repeat a simple action with meaning, your body starts to understand, oh, I'm safe now, I'm home. I can soften and I can relax. And the shower is a beautiful example of exactly this kind of ritual across folk traditions. So ancient traditions, worldwide, washing was never just about cleanliness. People washed to release grief, to wash off bad luck, to mark the end of something difficult. It is, and was always a physical way of saying, that was then, this is now, and I'm no longer in that moment. And when you step into your shower after such a heavy, busy day, and if you step into it not just on autopilot, but with a clear intention, by consciously deciding, I'm washing this day off of me, you are tapping into something humans have done forever. Your ancestors have done this too. So your body recognizes it, your nervous system recognizes it. It knows what this means. And as I suggested to my client, it really helps if you can do the following. For example, as you shampoo your hair, imagine you're washing out the day's thoughts, especially the stressful ones. As you rinse, imagine the stress leaving your scalp, your neck, your shoulders, and just disappearing down the drain. As the water runs down your body, imagine it taking everything with it that's not yours. That's it. Now let's turn to science for a moment. There are neuroscience and psychological reasons why this works. Like I said, I did some research. What I learned was that our nervous system has two kinds of a stress mode, which is called the sympathetic. That's when our heart races, our muscles are tense, and our brain is on high alert. We're ready to fight or run. Um, and then there is the calm mode, called the parasympathetic. That's when the heart slows down, breathing deepens, muscles relax, digestion works again, and you or your body feel safe. And when we're overwhelmed and stressed, our brain often gets stuck in loops, replaying conversations, imagining worst case scenarios. And strong sensory input can interrupt that loop and bring us back to the present moment. And water is such a sensory input. Temperature, pressure, sound, scent, it's a whole body experience. Sensory input from water interrupts rumination loops and negative ions or eons near water. Like showers, rain, rivers are linked to serotonin regulations. Now what I learned is that there is a difference between cold and warm water. For example, when you're in a panic or rage, your system is over activated. Too much stress hormones and the heart is racing. That's where cold water helps. Splashing cold or cool water into your face for 10, 20 seconds can be enough for a noticeable shift. Cold water on the face triggers something called the dive reflex. And your body thinks we might be going underwater and immediately slows your heart rate down via the vagus nerve, which shifts your body out of high alert mode. It's almost a bit like an emergency break. And this is officially used in trauma informed therapy, a technique called tip, where you literally dunk your face in cold water during a panic moment. Now, on the other hand, if you feel heavy, tired and over it, exhausted, a warm shower can help your body unclench. Um, warm water basically flips the switch from stress mode to calm mode. And that's why a warm shower or a bath after a hard day feels like your whole body exhales and relaxes. It's not just in your head. Your nervous system is literally shifting gears. So the two states actually need opposite interventions. So as a quick summary, if you feel panicky, buzzy, or are full of rage, try cold water on your face. If you're heavy, tired and over it, a warm shower can help your body relax and you to relax. And as business owners, we're more often heavy and tired. So that's why a warm shower is such a relief and a beautiful way to return to our body and to ourselves. And if you're not just taking a shower, but also washing your hair, that adds something extra. It's like you're cleansing the mental static too. And there is actually also science behind the hair. Specifically, hair follicles are richly connected to sensory nerves, making your scalp one of the most nerve dense areas of your body. And so washing it sends a flood of calming sensory signals straight to your nervous system. It's really very fascinating because researchers can literally measure your cortisol levels, your stress hormone. Cortisol is your stress hormone, right? And they can measure it from a strand of hair. Your hair holds a, uh, biochemical record of everything you've been carrying. So washing your hair isn't just symbolic. You're tending to the very place of your body that stores the most stress. But there is, of course, a distinction. The m memory of stress that is stored inside the hair that can't be washed away. But the physical experience of a day full of stress sitting on and in your scalp, your neck, and your shoulders, that absolutely responds to washing. So you can think of it like washing your hair doesn't rewrite your history, but it does close today's chapter. The and tomorrow is another day. Now let's weave this into something that fits my in your element world, because you know I can't resist. Let's look at the shower reset. For each of the four elements, let's start with fire. If you're a fire type, you might still running on adrenaline. Ah. At the end of the day, even when you're exhausted, your mind is already planning the next sprint. Your intention in the shower. Could I let the fire rest? I don't need to solve anything right now. And you might like ending with 10 seconds of cooler water. Just a signal we're done for today. Tomorrow is another day. If you're an earth type, you might carry the heavy weight of responsibility, the mental list, the it's all on me feeling. And so your shower intention could be, I release what I carry. Today, I did enough. And then at the end, wash your hands slowly, and it's like sealing the ritual. Like, you just wash your hands. You wash your hands, you wash the day off of you, right? If you're an air type, your brain is the one that won't stop talking. You can be physically tired, but mentally, you're still in all the meetings and all the thoughts are still racing in your head. So your shower intention could be, I rinse all thoughts out of my mind and I come back into my body. And if you wash your hair, try this. Breathe in for four while you shampoo. Breathe out for six like seconds or counts in your head while you rinse and think this intention, I, uh, rinse all troubling thoughts down the drain. Now, lastly, if you're a water type, you feel everything, of course, and your day can be fine on paper, but emotionally, it's a lot. So your shower intention is I let myself feel and I let it move through me and down the drain. And by the way, if tears show up in the shower for you, that's not a problem. That's water doing water. So let it. So I know a lot of you who are listening are, uh, women entrepreneurs, business owners and leaders. And you really hold a lot. Your clients, your team, your finances your family and your future and you're trying to do it with a lot of heart. I really love that about you. We need more leaders and business owners like you and this tiny ritual can really help you Switch off or switch states. Just like I always say, a few minutes a day keeps the chaos away. Overwhelm does not always need a full day of rest or a weekend retreat or a 12 step plan or whatever. Sometimes you just need a clean nervous system reset like a shower. And when you switch states, you make better decisions. You sleep better. You stop sending that one spicy email at 10pm have you done that before I even got out of bed to go send a spicy email? I learned better by now. So you stop also, uh, doom scrolling. Which actually has, as you may have noticed, the opposite effect. It's not bringing you peace, on the contrary. So try a shower and come back to yourself. And when you turn off the water, pause for one breath and say this day is complete and that's it. And if you try it, I'd love to hear what changed for you. If you get my email in your element, you can simply hit reply on one of them. If you're not on my list, what the heck? Uh, first of all, go to the Show Notes and sign up for in youn Element. But if you don't want to, oh well, then you can also send me a message on Instagram. My handle is iamconigraph and I would love to hear which element you are fire, earth, air or water. And how your shower reset felt after one of those heavy days. Okay my friend, that was it for this week. I'm here as your ally, blending Swiss precision and strategy with soulful guidance and astrology, helping you align finances, system and self so you can move from chaos to peace. Thank you for listening all the way to the end and for being a supporter of the podcast. Have a beautiful and amazing week. Talk to you next time. Take good care and be safe. Bye for now.