360| The Reason Capable Teams Still Bring Everything Back to You

Picture the week where you walk in and your calendar already has the right things on it. The decisions you handed off last week actually held. The project that took a turn got handled before it got to you, and your team walked in knowing what to bring to you and what to own. This is not a dream. That room exists, and you're closer than you think. Hi, I'm Tammy Imlay. I'm an executive leadership strategist and advisor, and this is a Leader's Purpose Podcast. You're sitting in a seat where the decisions you make are visible, impactful, and felt by everyone around you. You carry the weight of the organization and everyone around you knows it, which means everyone pulls on you constantly. And most of what you've been handed about leadership isn't wrong, it's just backwards. I've spent years studying what drives performance at the highest level, and every week I bring you what I've learned— the patterns, the reframes, and the things that no one's saying out loud so so you can stop managing your leadership and start trusting it. You already have what it takes. This is where you get to remember that. So let's do this. But before we dive in today, today's episode and get back to our series, if we, if you have been running your leadership on results and instinct, that is starting to cost more than it used to, I've built something for you. It's called the Friction Factor. It's free. It takes about 15 minutes to review and it names exactly what is creating the drag so you can stop solving the wrong problem. The link is in the show notes, tamimariecoaching.com/frictionreport. Now let's get back to the series. Last week we named what happens when leading started feeling like maintenance instead of momentum. And this week we're going to go a layer deeper. We're going to go to something closer to what you really want. In the room, the room where the routing stops and what it actually takes to get there. So here's what I know after 2 decades of working with leaders at your level: the capable team that you built is not the problem, and neither are you. What is happening between you and your team, it has a name, it has a pattern, and the moment you see it clearly, everything changes. Not because something was wrong, but because it finally makes Sense. So let's picture this. Like, think of your team. You built a great team, and yet, and yet, everything still routes back to you. You're not incompetent, or they are not incompetent, excuse me, they're not incompetent. You're not either, by the way. They're not lazy. You chose them. You already know how capable they are, and yet your inbox, your calendar, and your doorway tells a different story. So here's what Tuesday looks like, right? You walk in full go mode. Yesterday was not even closed out yet. And as you walk in the morning on Tuesday, before you get to own your priorities, the questions already start. Decisions that belong to your team are landing on your lap before 9:00 AM, and you are living moment to moment instead of working in a rhythm. And somewhere in the middle of that, you hear yourself saying, "It's just easier if I do it myself." And then the frustration hits. Not at your team, because you know they're capable. You know they're the right people in the right places. You know that your team is capable. You also know that there's another level. So that gap between what you know they can do and what is actually happening, that's where the frustration, that's where it lives. And because you chose these people, you believe in your team. And you may be saying things like, I just need them to take ownership, or I need them to step up and act on the role, not just the responsibilities. And some of the things you may be saying to yourself, oh, I don't mind, I'm still getting everyone up to speed, or hold on, let me walk you through this one, or again, the it's just easier if I handle it, I'll let you do it next time, I'll walk you through, um, or I'll I'll, I'll give it to you next time. You aren't doing anything wrong. You are doing what you've always done. And you are training your team on how to respond, how you lead, and what you want without even realizing that you are working against yourself. And here's what I want you to understand. This is not a delegation problem. This is not a communication problem. And this is not even a boundaries problem. Those are probably things that you've tried already and you've, you've had training, you've had conversations and it didn't work because what is actually happening is that you have not yet sent a clear signal that the dynamic has changed, that the teams are exceptional at— excuse me, your team is exceptional at reading signals and they will move the moment they receive a new one. They were just never given one. So every accessible answer was permission. Every "I don't mind" trained them to keep asking. Every "Let me walk you through it" kept ownership with you. Every "Easier if I just handle it" told them that you were still filling the old space. They were not, they are not failing you. They are following your lead. Exactly. Because leadership runs on signals, not announcements. You didn't walk into a meeting, your new role, your new goal, and you didn't walk into a meeting and say, "Okay, here's a list of all the things I'm no longer going to handle. You've got it from here." You try to stay available, right? You stay available because you want them to come to you for things, but not for everything. You want them to have that two-way communication. But so you stayed available the way that you had always been. And your title changed, but the signal did not. And your team responded to that signal every single time. And what nobody told you is that the behaviors that made you exceptional at the last level are creating friction at this one. Being the answer was the job. Now it's the obstacle. And not because you became less capable, because the role you have now requires something different from you. Requires something different. So here is the room I want you to picture. Here is the room I want you to walk in. I want you to walk into your, your week and the decisions that belong to your team stayed there. The project that belonged to your people stay with them. Your calendar has the relationships on it that belong to where you sit the strategic conversations, the work that only you can do from your altitude. Not because you abdicated your work or your role, but because you led. Your team looks like the signal changes. The team looks like you gave them new direction. They walk in knowing what to bring to you and what to own. They present to you. You don't manage every detail. And they have ownership, and you have oversight. They're not working without you. They are working toward the same goal, just from their lane. And what you get back when this shifts, oh, what you get back is you have time to mentor, not just manage. We know that things have changed, and as a leader, it's important that mentorship, that coaching in the moment, is more important now than ever. You have time to go to lunch and build a relationship that belongs to this level. We also know that your network is your net worth. It is important that at this level you build relationships with your peers, with your collaborators, that you are networking at your level. It's not just, it's not, there's not silos anymore. And that this is not a nice to have. At this point is having the freedom to mentor, to have the freedom to go to lunch. This is part of your job. You get to do it because things stay decided. Because your team owns their role and their, their lane, you're able to own yours. And when the signal change starts with you and not with them, it's not a new organizational chart. It's not a new performance conversation. It's not a delegation framework. It's a precise read on what you are signaling and what needs to shift first. So, and here's what I want you to hear. If you've heard yourself in any of these quotes, this is not a character flaw. This is a pattern. And patterns have a diagnosis. The Friction Factor, which I talked about earlier, that report names what's underneath the routing before it even becomes a leadership identity problem. It is free. It is research-backed. I spent a long time and I spent— I love research. I love data. I love stats, I love putting connections in scene. And what I love even more is when you— when I get it all clear and there's a path. So that's what this is. This is, uh, this is a lot of labor of love and looking at what really works for you, what the gap is for you that you don't have to discover yourself. And the crazy part about this is it is from a culmination of over 60,000 leaders No, I did not, I did not survey 60,000+ leaders, but I did take from the Harvard Business Review, from Gallup, from McKinsey, I took these research projects that they've done already, recent ones, '25 and '26, and put it together for you to show you the patterns and to show you you're not alone. So it's free, 15 minutes-ish, and go and get that. It's one I've created in a way that you can skim it, you can look to see what relates to you and what, um, what you can skip, what doesn't apply to you. But I highly encourage you to take this next step and get this report because this is a great starting point to see that you're not alone. The gap is there and it's not a character flaw. That it is there, but it's diagnosable, it has a name, and we can remove it really fast. And what would Tuesday look like? If you could remove the gaps, if you can remove the stressors, if you didn't have to, um, if it wasn't easier to just hand it, handle it yourself, what would that look like for you? Well, the first step is this Friction Report. So go and, go and grab it, and then let me know what you think, because I really do want to know. All right, friend, I am so thankful that you're here. I'm so thankful that you take this time every week to listen. Um, what I would love for you to do is if there's another leader that you know has— is getting frustrated with the fact that everything keeps routing back to them, or maybe they don't even realize it, but you see it as their people, as their friend, as their peer, you see, send this podcast to them, send this episode. That's how this show grows. And if you have 30 seconds, leave me a rating review. Spotify, I think, does it, and I know Apple. Apple's the one that's easiest and most familiar for me, but however you can, it just, it means a lot to me. It gives, well, the golden algorithm, it tells them that this, that you found this useful, but also it just warms my heart to see what is landing and what is working for you so I can bring you more of that. All right, friend, have a wonderful week and bye for now.