Your Next Clear Move · 2026-06-26 · 9 min
Key moments - from our scoring
Substance score
19 / 100
Five dimensions, 20 points each
Leaders often experience a quiet, persistent exhaustion - tightness in the chest upon waking, moving through days feeling nothing - that stems not from workload alone but from attaching personal worth to what they can achieve and carry. Debbie Peterson recounts her own breakdown after years of saying yes to everything: maintaining a high-profile career, raising a family, supporting her husband's business, and staying involved in the community simultaneously. She discovered that her exhaustion wasn't primarily about workload; it was about meaning. By tying her value to being indispensable - solving every problem, making every decision, stepping in whenever someone struggled - she inadvertently created organizational dependence rather than growth. Two leaders carrying identical responsibilities experience them completely differently based on what they've decided those responsibilities mean about their worth. Peterson's shift came when she stopped asking how to keep carrying everything and instead asked: "What is actually mine to carry?" This reframe acknowledges that different seasons demand different priorities, and not every outcome belongs to you.
You experience a deeper exhaustion that manifests as physical symptoms like chest tightness upon waking, moving through days feeling nothing, losing joy gradually, and ultimately reaching a breaking point where you realize something has to give because this can't be all your life can be.
When you solve every problem, make every decision, and step in whenever someone struggles, your team never learns to solve problems themselves, make decisions, develop resilience, or figure things out - they become dependent rather than developing capability for more.
Ask yourself: "Is this actually mine to carry?" This question helps you distinguish between what genuinely belongs to you and what you've taken on unnecessarily, pausing before you pick up one more thing.
Yes - the difference isn't always about what's on their plate, but what they've decided it means about them; one may feel challenged while another feels crushed based on whether their self-worth is tied to that responsibility.
Pause when you feel pressure building and ask: What is really important right now? What season am I in? What am I carrying that isn't mine? This acknowledges that different seasons call for different priorities - sometimes family, sometimes work, sometimes health must come first.
Our reviewer’s read on each dimension, with quotes from the episode.
The episode delivers one operationally useful reframe - over-helping creates team dependence rather than capability - buried inside nine minutes of personal narrative and emotional framing. The ratio of novel-to-filler content is very low for a B2B audience.
we don't simply respond to our circumstances, we respond to what those circumstances mean to us
carrying too much creates dependence instead of growth. The leader becomes exhausted, the team becomes dependent, and then the organization loses the chance to develop people who are ready for more.
The core thesis - stop carrying things that aren't yours - is a standard coaching trope, and the surrounding concepts (worth tied to achievement, delegation enabling growth) are Leadership 101 with no contrarian angle or first-principles reasoning.
carrying more had become a badge of honor, a proof of my value
What is actually mine to carry?
This is a solo episode featuring a professional speaker and leadership coach. There is no evidence in the transcript of the host having operated or scaled a B2B organisation; her credentials are presented entirely through a personal burnout anecdote and a coaching practice.
I am Debbie Peterson of Getting to Clarity
to learn more about how you can bring Debbie and her transformational clarity leadership strategies to your organization, visit Debbie PetersonSpeaks.com
There are no named companies, metrics, timelines, or dollar figures anywhere in the episode. The only concrete details are physical symptoms from a personal anecdote, which have no transferable business evidence value.
My heart would race, my left hand would go numb, my chest felt so tight I couldn't take a full breath.
two leaders can carry similar responsibilities and experience them completely differently. One feels challenged, the other one feels just overwhelmed, crushed.
This is an uninterrupted solo monologue with no guest, no interviewing, no pushback, and no follow-up questions - there is no conversational craft to evaluate. The structure is a linear personal story leading to a single prescribed takeaway.
So your next clear move is this.
I want you to just take this one question with you.
Computed from the transcript - who did the talking, and the words that came up most.
That tight feeling in your chest at 5am, the day you move through on pure muscle memory, the quiet loss of joy you cannot quite explain, those are not random glitches. They can be the hidden price of leadership when your role turns into a test of how much you can carry. We get honest about the kind of exhaustion strong, capable leaders rarely say out loud, and why it builds over years of saying yes, stepping in, and tying your worth to what you can achieve. Debbie Peterson shares a personal moment that was not a shiny breakthrough, but a breakdown, and how a decision came before direction. From there, we unpack a critical leadership clarity insight: we do not only respond to our circumstances, we respond to what those circumstances mean to us. Two leaders can hold similar responsibilities, yet one feels stretched in a healthy way while the other feels crushed, because “more” has become proof of value. We also look at what overcarrying does to the people around you. When we solve every problem and rescue every struggle, we may feel helpful, but we train teams into dependence and starve them of resilience.
Transcribed and scored by The B2B Podcast Index.
1 - > Debbie Peterson: Hey, hello, and welcome back. 2 - > I am Debbie Peterson of Getting to Clarity, and this is another 3 - > episode of the Getting to Clarity Podcast. 4 - > Your next clear move. 5 - > Because you don't have to have it all figured out.
6 - > You just need to know what your next clear move is to get into 7 - > action. 8 - > And today I'm going to help you do that. 9 - > And we're talking about something that most leaders 10 - > feel, but they rarely mention it or will dare say it aloud. 11 - > I'm talking about that particular kind of exhaustion 12 - > that doesn't show up on your face, the kind that builds 13 - > quietly over years of saying yes, taking on more and more, 14 - > and tying your worth to what it is that you can carry or what it 15 - > is that you can achieve.
16 - > I've been there and I mean that literally. 17 - > And what I learned on the other side of that moment is what I'm 18 - > bringing to you today. 19 - > So we're talking about what leadership costs you when you're 20 - > carrying things that were never actually yours. 21 - > And the one question that can help you start to change all of 22 - > that.
23 - > So let's get to it. 24 - > Stay tuned. 25 - > SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Getting to Clarity Podcast. 26 - > SPEAKER_00: The place where busy leaders discover how to create 27 - > more success in their leadership journey with less sacrifice in 28 - > their life.
29 - > SPEAKER_02: Here's your host, Debbie Peterson of Getting to 30 - > Clarity. 31 - > Debbie Peterson: Okay, so we're talking about when leadership 32 - > starts costing you too much. 33 - > So there is a particular kind of exhaustion, doesn't show up on 34 - > your face, it lives somewhere deeper, like the tightness in 35 - > your chest when you wake up at five o'clock in the morning. 36 - > Maybe in the way that you move through your day, getting 37 - > everything done and feeling nothing.
38 - > Maybe it's in the quiet voice under all of it that you keep 39 - > pushing past because there's always something else that needs 40 - > your attention. 41 - > Now, a lot of leaders that I work with, they know that voice. 42 - > They just don't talk about it. 43 - > And me, I was no different.
44 - > From the outside, I looked fine. 45 - > I was the Navy suit girl. 46 - > I was the buttoned up, professional, capable, reliable. 47 - > Come to me, I'll get it done kind of gal.
48 - > And I was up before the sun, going to the gym, working on 49 - > advancing my career, raising my family, supporting my husband's 50 - > new business, staying involved with the community, and keeping 51 - > every single ball in the air at the same time, or at least what 52 - > I thought. 53 - > But most people, what they didn't see was that I was 54 - > falling apart. 55 - > My heart would race, my left hand would go numb, my chest 56 - > felt so tight I couldn't take a full breath.
57 - > I had lost my sense of joy, though I couldn't have told you 58 - > exactly when it left. 59 - > And one day I found myself curled up on my bedroom floor 60 - > sobbing. 61 - > Not because something terrible had happened, but because I had 62 - > spent years of carrying things that I was never meant to carry. 63 - > And I had absolutely no capacity left.
64 - > And I stayed there long enough to think one clear thought, and 65 - > that was oh, something has to give because this isn't all my 66 - > life can be. 67 - > I want to be honest about what that moment was and what it 68 - > wasn't. 69 - > It wasn't a breakthrough. 70 - > It was a breakdown.
71 - > Um, it wasn't me getting clarity. 72 - > I didn't get up off that floor with a plan. 73 - > I got up exhausted, but I got up determined. 74 - > And those two things were sitting side by side in a way 75 - > that I couldn't quite make sense yet, but I was determined with 76 - > no direction.
77 - > That's how I would describe it, but determined nonetheless. 78 - > So, what I know is that the decision came before the 79 - > direction. 80 - > I decided that where I was is not where I was going to stay. 81 - > And when I was finally ready to move, the path started to reveal 82 - > itself.
83 - > What I discovered eventually was that the weight I was carrying 84 - > wasn't just workload, it was meaning. 85 - > I had attached my worth to what I could carry, what I could do, 86 - > what I could accomplish. 87 - > If I was getting ahead, I was doing something right. 88 - > If people depended on me, then I mattered.
89 - > If I could keep everything moving, then I was successful. 90 - > Doesn't that sound exhausting? 91 - > Because it was. 92 - > And here's the deal: we don't simply respond to our 93 - > circumstances, we respond to what those circumstances mean to 94 - > us.
95 - > So two leaders can carry similar responsibilities and experience 96 - > them completely differently. 97 - > One feels challenged, the other one feels just overwhelmed, 98 - > crushed. 99 - > And the difference isn't always about what's on their plate, 100 - > it's what they've decided it means about them. 101 - > So for me, carrying more had become a badge of honor, a proof 102 - > of my value.
103 - > When your worth is tied to what you can achieve, achieving more 104 - > never actually fixes it or allows you to get there. 105 - > You just keep raising the bar and keep going. 106 - > And the thing is that when this happens to you as a leader, it 107 - > doesn't just stay with you. 108 - > When I was solving every problem, well, who learns to 109 - > solve problems then?
110 - > When I'm making every decision, who learns to make decisions? 111 - > When I step in every time someone struggles, then who 112 - > learns how to figure it out? 113 - > Or who learns resilience? 114 - > You know, the intention is good.
115 - > My intention was good. 116 - > And as leaders, we want to help, but over time, carrying too much 117 - > creates dependence instead of growth. 118 - > The leader becomes exhausted, the team becomes dependent, and 119 - > then the organization loses the chance to develop people who are 120 - > ready for more. 121 - > So the shift for me came when I stopped asking how to keep 122 - > carrying everything and start asking a different question.
123 - > And that was, what is actually mine to carry? 124 - > Because not everything deserves equal weight. 125 - > Not every problem belongs to you. 126 - > Not every outcome is yours to own.
127 - > Different seasons call for different priorities. 128 - > There are times where family needs more of you. 129 - > There are times where your work does. 130 - > There are times where your health has to come first, you 131 - > know, and the pressure builds when you try to give everything 132 - > equal weight all of the time.
133 - > So when I feel that pressure now, because I still do, I pause 134 - > and I get curious and I ask myself, what is really important 135 - > right now? 136 - > What season am I in? 137 - > What am I carrying that isn't mine? 138 - > So your next clear move is this.
139 - > If you're listening to this and you're already in um in it 140 - > somewhere, already stretched, tired, trying to figure out how 141 - > to keep going, I'm not going to ask you to make a list. 142 - > I want you to just take this one question with you. 143 - > The next time you feel that pressure building before you 144 - > pick up one more thing, I want you to pause long enough to ask 145 - > yourself, is this actually mine to carry? 146 - > That's it.
147 - > That's where it starts. 148 - > Because the goal was never to carry everything. 149 - > It was to carry what was yours and trust others to carry what 150 - > is theirs. 151 - > And there is relief in understanding that.
152 - > And I promise you that relief is real. 153 - > So I'm Debbie Peterson of Getting to Clarity. 154 - > And thank you so much for tuning in. 155 - > If you would like to learn more about my work with leaders, if 156 - > you're someone who is ready to cut through the noise, trust 157 - > yourself again and make your next clear move, uh, go on and 158 - > check out my programming at www.
deby petersonspeaks.com. 159 - > Until the next time, be good to yourself. 160 - > And bye-bye for now.
161 - > SPEAKER_02: Thank you for listening to this episode of the 162 - > Getting to Clarity Podcast with Debbie Peterson. 163 - > SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed this jump, please rate and recommend 164 - > it on iTunes or wherever you enjoy your podcast. 165 - > SPEAKER_02: To learn more about how you can bring Debbie and her 166 - > transformational clarity leadership strategies to your 167 - > organization, visit Debbie PetersonSpeaks.com.
Other episodes covering the same guests and topics, from across The B2B Podcast Index.
When Being Good at Your Job Isn’t Enough AnymoreWhen Everything Feels ImportantWhen Leaders Stop Trusting ThemselvesLeaders Under Pressure - How to Respond Instead of ReactThe Leadership Cost of Ignoring What You Feel
