Keep Your Kids Safe Online

All right. So diving into something I think we all think about, you know, all the time these days, keeping our kids safe online. Yeah, definitely a hot topic. And we are talking about this, by the way, because you guys sent in so many requests.

So many. To take a look at Robert Parker's, what is it called? The Comprehensive Guide. The Comprehensive Guide, yeah.

To keeping kids safe online. And this is not just some quick tips article. This is like book length. It really is.

It's incredibly thorough, which I really appreciate it. And one of the things that stood out to me was, it's one thing to be like, you know, offering advice as like a concerned parent, which we all are. Right. But he's like really backing it up with some hard data, like citing that BARC report.

Yeah. You know, which really kind of for me takes it from like, oh, this is something to think about to like, okay, no, this is like we need to like really be talking about this territory. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I was looking at some of those stats on what kids are actually encountering online.

And honestly, like I need a coffee refill just to get through this. Right. It's a lot. Yeah.

So hit me with some of the highlights. Okay. So let's start with fiber bullying. Okay.

Because I feel like that's one that we all kind of like hear about, but I don't think we really maybe grasped the scope. Yeah. The Bark Report found that 67% of tweens. Wow.

So we're talking 8 to 12-year-olds have experienced cyber bullying. That's a lot. It is. I would not have guessed it was that high.

And then if you bump that up to teenagers, it jumps to 76%. Wow. So, I mean, we are talking like vast majority. Yeah.

It's not an isolated incident or anything. I mean, you almost have to assume that this is something that kids are dealing with. And, you know, I think there's this thing where it's like, oh, it's online. It's not real.

But it's like kids don't. That's not how they process it. No, they don't compartmentalize it like that. Yeah.

Right. Exactly. It affects them. Yeah.

It affects their mental health. Totally. And speaking of which. Yes.

The emotional toll, even beyond just like the bullying aspect, right? Yeah. Like the report also found 33% of tweens and 57% of teens have encountered content online dealing with depression and even like suicidal thoughts. Yeah.

And that's a lot. And it's really heavy stuff. Yeah. Definitely need that coffee now.

Yeah. But it's not all, I mean, obviously this is all very serious, but it's not all cyberbullying or those really dark topics. Right. I think the thing that I'd always think about, and I think it's what the guide really kind of shook me out of a little bit, is I always think about stranger danger.

Yeah. Like, that's the thing when you're like, okay, what do I need to worry about with my kids online? But it's like, it's so much bigger than that. It is so much bigger than that.

And Parker does address that Yeah You know because obviously that is a real thing and we don want to like downplay that Right Right But yeah he really widens the lens and rightfully so because the data from Bark shows that 58 of tweens and then a staggering 75 of teenagers have been exposed to sexually explicit content online 75%. That's a lot. I mean, these are young people. Yes.

Like still forming their understanding of, you know, relationships and intimacy and all of that. Absolutely. To be bombarded with that kind of content, like it has to have an impact. It does.

And we're not just talking about like stumbling across something accidentally, you know. Right. This includes unsolicited messages, images. Like it's a lot to process at that age.

Yeah. It's a lot for anyone to process. Exactly. Honestly.

Okay. I'm officially overwhelmed. Like I need a minute to process all of that. It's a lot.

It's a lot. So for those of us listening who are not tech experts, what do we do with all this information? What does Parker actually recommend we do? Well, a good portion of the guide is dedicated to parental controls, which I think is what most of us as parents, that's kind of the first thing we think of.

Right. Like, what can I block? Yeah. What can I prevent?

Right. Exactly. And he breaks it down into two main categories, which are native controls and then third-party apps. Okay, so native controls you're talking about, like, the things that are built into our phones and tablets already.

Exactly. Yep, so, like, Apple Screen Time, Google Family Link, Amazon Parent Dashboard, like, those are the big ones. Got it. And those are a great place to start, he says, because, you know, usually they're either free or they're included with your device, so there's, like, no extra cost there.

And generally, they're pretty user-friendly. Right, start with what you've got. Exactly. But I'm guessing they can only do so much.

Yeah. They're good for, like, the basics. Okay. Like, you can set, you know, screen time limits.

You can do some basic content filtering. But they might not catch everything. Right. Especially, you know, as our kids get older and maybe a little more tech savvy.

Right. We might be able to, like, find workarounds. Totally. And, you know, I think in, like, most families these days, like, you've got a mix of devices.

Like, you've got Apple products and you've got Android. Oh, yeah. Trying to manage all of those separately can be a nightmare. Oh, for sure.

So. That's where these like third party apps come in. Exactly. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. So, you know, Bark is one that he mentions a few times. Yeah.

We talk about Bark a lot on the show. And then I feel like I've seen ads for Custodio. Yeah. Norton Family.

Are those like, are those the big ones? Those are like some of the more well-known ones. Okay. And yeah, they offered like a lot more customization and control.

Okay. and you know bark in particular seems to be like a favorite of parkers okay they monitor activity across like a ton of different apps and platforms like i think you said over 30 wow which is like mind because i can even keep track i know but um and they can like flag things like cyber bullying suicidal ideation sexting Okay so this is more than just like oh you spent too much time on YouTube today Yes, much more than that. This is like really getting into like the nitty gritty of what's happening on these devices.

Exactly. Which is, you know, both, I don't know, impressive and terrifying. Right. At the same time.

Because it's like, how do you keep up with every new app and social media platform? I know. By the time you learn one, there's three more popping up. Exactly.

It's a never-ending cycle. Yes, it is. And that is something that Parker really emphasizes throughout the guide, is that it's not enough to just set these tools and forget about them. I'm sorry.

We have to be adaptable. We have to keep learning ourselves as parents. And like, most importantly, we have to be talking to our kids. Which brings us to, oh wait, there's, there's one more thing I want to make sure we hit before we get there.

Okay. Which is, um, he talks about privacy concerns too. Yes. This is where like the guide took a turn.

I was like, whoa, I didn't even think about this. So basically what he's saying is like these parental controls are important, but we can't like let them give us this false sense of security. Right. It's not a magic solution.

Right. Like we still need to be thinking about data privacy. Absolutely. Because, like, he makes this point, and it's true.

It's like COPE. COPE? Children's Online Privacy Protection Act. Okay.

Like, that was passed in 1998. 1998. The internet was like a baby back then. I know.

Okay, so I'm guessing that law does not really hold up in the age of TikTok and whatever else is out there. No, it's definitely playing catch up. And, you know, it's a good starting point, don't get me wrong. Like, it's important, but it doesn't fully address all the ways that companies are, like, collecting and using data today.

Okay, so that all sounds very scary. But what do we do with that? Well, this is where Parker, like, really stresses personal responsibility. Okay.

Like, we can't just rely on laws or even apps to protect our kids' data. It's about having those conversations with our kids. And it starts from a young age about online privacy, what's safe to share, what's not safe to share, why it matters. So it's not just about like monitoring their every move.

It's about giving them the tools to make smart choices themselves. I like that. Yeah. It's about empowerment, not just like restriction.

Right. And that actually leads us perfectly into what Parker calls like the most important layer of protection, which is open and ongoing communication. Okay. Open communication, it sounds like simple enough in theory.

But I'll admit, this is always the part where I'm like, but how? Like, how do you actually have these conversations in a way that, one, kids will actually listen to? And two, like, especially as they get older, that will actually resonate with them. Yeah.

I mean, it's definitely, it's not easy. That's for sure. No. But Parker he like really breaks it down in a way that I found super helpful Okay And he talks about like making it age appropriate So like with younger kids it about you know laying that foundation Okay We teach them about stranger danger in the real world Right.

It's the same idea online. Like don't talk to people you don't know. Don't share personal information. And then like super important, making sure they know like they can come to you if they see something that makes them uncomfortable.

Yes. Without like fear of being getting in trouble. Right. Like establishing ourselves as a safe space for them in the digital world, just like we try to be in, you know, their offline life.

Exactly. Exactly. And then as they get older, those conversations need to like evolve, too. So we start talking about things like cyberbullying, what it looks like, how it can make people feel, how to stand up to it if you see it happening.

Yeah. We talk about online reputation and how, you know, what they post online can have real world consequences. And let's be real. That's probably like an ongoing conversation.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Because what they think is cool or funny online is probably very different from what we as parents think is cool or funny online. A hundred percent. Right.

So it's like finding that line. Yeah. And it's about like, yeah, like you said, finding that balance between, you know, giving them some freedom to like explore their online identity and, you know, all of that. But also like guiding them towards responsible behavior.

Right. Right. And something else that stood out to me from this section of the guide is that he makes the point that we as parents have to walk the walk, too. Oh, yeah.

We can't just talk the talk. Right. If we're constantly on our phones, we can't exactly be lecturing them about putting down their devices. Exactly.

Exactly. It's like practicing what you preach. Yes. It's showing them that there's a whole world offline that's just as engaging, if not more so.

Right. Like, you know, family dinners, game nights, like actually going outside, like all that good stuff. Right. Remember that.

Remember that. Yeah. Well, you know, I have to say after all of that, this deep dive has been both eye opening and honestly a little bit overwhelming. It's a lot to process.

Yeah. But I think the key takeaway here is that knowledge is power. Absolutely. Like understanding the risks, knowing what tools are out there.

And like most importantly, having those like open and honest conversations with our kids. Yeah, I think those are all really, really important takeaways. And, you know, Robert Parker's guide really does like it gives you a really great roadmap to like navigate this like complex digital landscape that we're all a part of now. It does.

It really does. And you know what? It also kind of makes you think like this is this is just the tip of the iceberg. Right.

Like, as technology continues to evolve, these conversations are going to have to evolve, too. Oh, 100%. It's a lifelong journey, isn't it? It is.

But, hey, that's parenthood, right? Yeah. Always learning, always adapting. Truer words have never been spoken.

I know, right? Well, listeners, there you have it. Another deep dive successfully navigated. We did it.

Until next time, stay curious and keep those conversations going.