Guidelines vs Principles

Jim Larson: What's up and welcome to the Unquit podcast. And whether you're on the verge of quitting life insurance sales or you want the best tips and tricks to win in the industry, you're in the right place. I'm your host, Jim Larson. And sure, I might own one of the largest and fastest growing brokerage life insurance agencies in the entire country.

Guest: And yeah, I might have built that

Jim Larson: agency in just three years, but I also started years ago and quit. I quit on myself and my goals and came back two years later, humbled, um, and ready to win.

Guest: So whether you need to be talked

Jim Larson: off the ledge or you want advanced leadership content, you're going to find that here. This will be the number one sales and leadership podcast for life insurance agents. Welcome to the Unquit podcast.

Guest: All right, I'm going to share my screen and we're going to have a conversation on guidelines versus principles. Those of you in the Gen Z crowd, uh, last week, on Monday, I talked to the Gen Zers about guidelines and principles. And this is something that I think we understand intuitively, but we don't often put words to. So I'm going to give you guys these concepts, kind of break this down for you. So, number one guideline. A guideline is a rule of thumb. It's often aspirational and it's contextually negotiable, meaning you can negotiate depending on the context, it's going to apply in most circumstances. There will be some circumstances where it doesn't. So a guideline is how we like to, to show up most of the time, but we're open to real life adjustments. So I want to show up this way most of the time. I plan on showing up this way, but because real life happens and circumstances change and there's data points, I'm not committed to always showing up like this. It's just a, it's a guideline. It's how I want to be most of the time. But again, I'm open to real life adjustments. Missing a guideline is okay as long as it doesn't happen too often. All right, he's following guidelines. And can you think in your life of, uh, guidelines that you have guidelines? The things that, like, again, I want to show up this way most of the time. I'm not 100% committed. It's okay if I miss. I just don't want to miss a lot. Right. Can you think, can you think of some of those things? Put in the comments. Some of those things for you. Like, for example, for me, I don't drink when I'm home. Like alcohol when I'm home in Virginia. In my day to day life, it's a guideline, not a principle. So there will be times on a date night where my wife and I will open a bottle of wine. There will be times where I will make exceptions, but I can't start making exceptions. Saturday and Sunday and then Friday and then Thursday and then Monday Night Football. And all of a sudden, uh, that ain't even a guideline anymore. You see what I'm saying? So this is something where, you know my friend who's in recovery, two years sober, for him, not drinking alcohol is a principle which I want to talk to next. See, a principle is a fundamental truth, law or belief that access found a foundation for reasoning. It is non negotiable. Okay? So where a guideline is like, I want to show up most of the time this way, missing is okay as long as it doesn't happen too often. A principle is non negotiable. We do not miss. A principle is how we're committed to showing up, um, regardless of context or circumstance. Again, for my friend who's in recovery, not drinking is a principle. It does not matter what context or circumstance he finds himself in. He is not doing it. He can go on vacation, he ain't doing. He can go in this circumstance, he ain't doing it. He's going over here, he's not doing it. It's a principle. It doesn't depend on context. For me, not drinking is a guideline. I'm very open as long as it doesn't happen too often to enjoying it. Okay? Difference. Huge difference. With a principle, missing is not okay. It doesn't mean you don't miss. But missing is not okay. And it requires an audit to determine how we failed and how to prevent ever failing again. I have principles in my life. Sometimes I fall short on those principles. Sometimes I don't do the very thing I'm committed to doing, or sometimes I do the very thing I'm not, I'm committed to not doing. The difference is, if it were a guideline, I could excuse it. But a principle I cannot excuse. When it is a principle and I fall short, that is not okay. That is not excusable. There is no context in which I can explain that away. I own the fact that I said I was going to do this, I fell short. That is not okay. Needs to be a reconciliation. When a principle is violated every single time, guidelines protect principles. There's a, uh, there's a story of A mountain town. The school, the kids school was down in the valley, and there's this mountain town. And they were interviewing bus drivers that could take the kids from the mountain town down the scary mountain pass with no border, down the mountain pass to school and back. And they're interviewing bus drivers. And they asked this one guy like, hey, how close can you get to the edge and maintain control of bus? And he's like, man, I've been driving buses for a while. It's like, I could probably get one tire off of this, one tire off the, off the road and still maintain control of this bus. They go to the next guy, they're like, hey, how good are you at, uh, driving a bus? He's like, man, I've been driving a bus forever. I drove a bus in the army. He's like, I can drive a bus through anything. I can probably get two wheels off of the path and steer this thing on and keep control. They go to the third guy and they ask him the same question and he's like, if kids are on this bus, I'm not getting anywhere near the edge. Hear that? Guidelines protect principles. So if I have a principle of, um, faithfulness to my wife, I'm going to create guidelines that are going to protect that principle to make sure I don't even get close because it's not negotiable. Guidelines protect principles. When I fight with my daughter, it's often because I'm assuming a principle, she's assuming a guideline. When I say, be home by 11, to me, that is non negotiable. If it is 11:01, you are late. There needs to be a reconciling. What are we going to do to make sure that never happens again? In her mind, 11 is a guideline. As long as she's home, you know, most of the time by 11, most of the time you know, there, there were so, oh, I needed gas. I needed gas last minute. Oh, there was this little side quest that popped up. Uh, it's no big deal. Don't make it a big deal. It was a big deal to me because I was thinking principle. She was thinking guideline. I think a lot of the frustration in relationships is when one party is thinking guideline and one is thinking principle. And when one party thinks principle and the other breaks what this person believes is a principle and the other breaks a principle, and instead of taking ownership and saying that was non negotiable, I'm sorry, I messed up. I need to create a, uh, system to make sure I never do it again instead. They justify it, they excuse it, they explain it away in context. They say it shouldn't be a big deal. Why are you making it a big deal? Because they're acting out of principle. So the question relationship becomes, was that ever a principle for them? Maybe you're trying to hold them accountable to a principle you have that they just didn't agree to. You gotta get on the same page. What are the principles you have together and then how do you operate within that? If you want to grow a business, grow a business. Not have a business, grow a business. Growth must become a principle, a non negotiable that guidelines protect. Growth has to become a principle. If you don't grow in a three month period, is that okay? That is the one single, that is the metric that will determine for you. Is this a guideline or principle for me, in every area of life, if you miss. Is it okay if I miss going to the gym on a day? Is it okay? Yes, it's okay. I will explain it away.

Jim Larson: Why?

Guest: Because working out every day is not a principle for me, it's a guideline. I work out pretty often, I'm not married, it's a guideline. And so it's okay if I miss. So ask yourself in certain contexts and certain things is missing, okay? Because if you find it's okay, then just understand that's not a principle for you. And if you want to grow a business, growth must be a principle. If you don't grow in a three month period, if that's okay for you, if it's okay that you're in the same contract level, that you're in the same place, that you haven't grown, it's been three meetings, it's been three months. This entire year of 2026, you haven't grown. If that's okay to you, then enjoy life where you are. It doesn't have to be a crisis, you don't have to grow a business. Nobody's going to make you. You can simply enjoy where you are. And that's okay. You have permission to do that. Own it. Now, if you're in the other camp, which I think you are, because you're here on this call. If you don't grow in a three month period, and that's not okay to you, there are two paths. The first path is worry about it, get overwhelmed and stress paralysis by analysis. Have no idea where to go, what to do, sit home, stress, worry, think, wonder, hope, but not do anything about it because you don't know what to do or troubleshoot. Those are your two options. And I watch people. I watch people so often choose the first one. They're like, growth is a principle. I haven't grown. That's not. Okay, cool. What are you doing? I am worrying. I'm getting overwhelmed and I'm stressing. Um, okay, can we talk about whether that's going to help you grow or not? Because if growth is the principle, then worry, overwhelm, and stress are not strategic elements to get to to move toward growth. It might make you feel good in the moment, but it is not helping growth. So then you go into month four, five, six, not growing, and all you've done is worry, stress, and get overwhelmed. And you're going to find other people that are going to make you feel okay and worry, stress, and overwhelm because they don't know how to grow either. So all y' all worried, stress, overwhelmed. Talking to each other about being worried, stressed and overwhelmed and how this is hard and you don't know how to, uh. Come on, Reineke. The other path is troubleshooting. Troubleshooting. See, hear me clearly. Be up. Um. You will sometimes fail to live up to your principles. The question is whether or not it's okay, and then what do you do about it? So if growth is a principle for you and missing is not okay, you troubleshoot. You figure out what are you going to do to make it better? What are you going to do to fix it? What are you actively doing? What are you sacrificing? What strategy are you implementing? Are you being patient to gather data? Are you trying one thing and running to the next and running to the next or trying 18 things at once? You're gonna pick one thing to troubleshoot. You're gonna invest in that. You're gonna gather enough data to draw a conclusion. And that worked or didn't. If it didn't, you then move to the next thing. What you're not gonna do is try 18 things at once, spread yourself thin, and then even if something works, you have no idea which of the 18 was the thing that did work. The other thing you're not gonna do is make can draw conclusions from small sample sizes so that you're moving from one thing to the next thing. I'm going to try these leads now, and then these one and a half weeks in didn't work. And then I'm going to go to these ones and these one and a half weeks in didn't work. You're going to gather enough data. Three things derail businesses more than Anything else? One is the inability or unwillingness to prioritize your time and follow through with the activity. Roethlisbergers talked yesterday about living by their calendar. Living by a calendar works if you do two things. One, you keep it updated, and two, you actually do what's on the calendar. I watch. A lot of people do not put stuff in their calendar. They just hope to find the time. You won't. Or they find the time. They have the time they have on their calendar, what they're supposed to do, and then they just don't do it. That dera. Those two things derail a business. You said you were going to make 100 dials. You didn't. Your calendar said you were going to go do this. You blocked that time. You didn't do it. That derails a business. Impatience derails businesses. Putting it on a short leash. I've got big hopes and dreams. I'm going to build a legacy here. But if I haven't made a sale in 90 days, I quit. Dumbest thing I ever heard. You're playing a legacy game on a short leash. You don't play legacy games on short leashes. You play small games on short leashes. You don't play big games on short leashes. Lack of ownership derails businesses. Lack of ownership, meaning you're waiting for something external to fix it instead of taking the ownership and saying fixing it is me. Growth is on me. My business moving forward is on me. That's me. That's not my mentor. That's not the system, that's not the leads. It's me. I'm not. I have to figure this out. I've talked about my principles a lot and I've realized the principles. The principles that I had were more guidelines. I really operated this business with three principles. One, make enough money to pay the bills. That was non negotiable to me. To grow, to get out of the field. Three, give it my best. So I don't wonder, what if those were the principles, truly, those were the principles that I grew this by. Make enough to pay the bills. I've done that since the day I walked on the door here. The day I walked in. That was non negotiable. If I ever, uh, fell short, alarm bells went off, foundations cracked, and we fixed it. It was never okay. Hey, babe. Sorry. Didn't make enough to pay the mortgage. No worries, honey. Let's worry about it and stress about it and not do anything different. No, that was never a conversation in my house. If I didn't make enough to pay the bills and we had to pull from savings. Alarm uh bells went off. It was not okay then. I wanted a lifestyle here. I wanted a lifestyle so grow to get out of the field and then give it my best. So I don't wonder what if I built guidelines around that. So in order to serve those principles, those non negotiables, I had guidelines. My guidelines were simply decide ahead of time when I'm working each week. Be on at least two team zoom calls weekly with my camera on, engaged in the comments. Be in the macro virtual office when I'm working, engage in the agency group chat. Set activity based goals. Do not draw conclusions from small sample sizes. Remind myself often that I can and will win here. Be curious and not critical. Do it scared. Don't wait to feel confident and never miss twice. I built these guidelines to protect the principles that were non negotiable to me. Screenshot that if you need to but understand you will derail your business. Derail it if you are operating under guidelines and not principles. If everything is negotiable. If you say a hundred dials is negotiable, then you'll negotiate yourself out of it. If growth is negotiable, you will negotiate yourself out of it. If building a legacy is negotiable, if showing up is negotiable, if having a good attitude is negotiable, you're going to negotiate yourself out of it. Don't. Your goals are worth it. Your potential is worth it and it's sitting right here for you.

Jim Larson: Hey, thanks so much for tuning in. Every single week we are going to be delivering real, raw, impactful content so you can not only grow a business, but grow yourself. The best way to connect with me is on Instagram. Eat Ah, Jim Larson. Just spell my last name right. That is L A R S E N. I cannot wait for some upcoming announcements and thank you for your support and your help in making this the number one sales and leadership podcast for life insurance agents.