PB 582: You've Already Earned the Dazzle - We're Not Waiting To Live Anymore

Speaker A: It's power back time on the gutsy podcast. Your 20 minute boost to reclaim and refocus your energy. Get ready to have bursts of clarity, a boost of confidence, and the practical steps you need to make Gutsy moves forward. You've got big things to do, so let's get your power back. We've all played the. When I achieve this thing, then I'm gonna start to do that thing right. Like it's a game that we play with ourselves, pushing out the finer moments to an invisible finish line that always moves. You create this self inflicted standard that to enjoy life the way that you see and feel it on your vision board, that you have to first check all the boxes and achieve all of the pieces first. But boxes get added and removed, pieces get drawn out and reconfigured, and the good feeling that you're waiting for gets lost in the routine of the day. What if you stopped waiting for all the right things to happen and instead started adding some of that dazzle in your daily, simple reminders of who you truly are? Actions that embody the woman that already did it? In today's powerback episode, we're finding the dazzle. And if you wanna pull in that feeling of achievement a little bit closer, this episode is for you. Look, I think that's what all of this is really all about. It's. It's not even achieving the goal or having the thing. I mean, yes, don't get me wrong, like that's. We're all striving for our own version of that, but it's the feeling that you get from it, from doing it, from having it, from living it. Like, we are all looking for the feeling of achievement, but sometimes you get to that achievement and you're like, okay, well there's that and now we're onto the next thing. And I think a big part of that is we get lost in the build and forget to live along the way. We forget to live like these finer moments with this dazzle, with this excitement, with this, you know, just zest for life. And when I say dazzle, I mean just like these very simplistic moments and choices where everything gets to feel a little bit elevated and elevated gets to be defined however you see it. Some people might see elevated as luxury. Some people might see elevated as simplistic and calm. Uh, it could be a combination of everything. Right? You first define what elevated is for you. Let's start there. For me, elevated is not really about like designer handbags or name brand things or stuff like that. Like I, I have nothing against it, it's just not my jam. Elevated for me is quality is simplicity, experiences, fulfillment. Like one of the very simple kind of unspoken rules that we have in our family is when we travel somewhere, we eat at a local restaurant that we can't access at home. We're not a big fan of chain restaurants as a whole, but especially as we're traveling, it's like we want to eat somewhere that is new and exciting and we want to support the local community and the local business owners. Don't get me wrong, I love a good Panera. Uh, surprisingly, they have some pretty decent gluten free options, which is a wild concept, especially since their name is Bread and it's always a nice fallback to have in case we can't find anything. But when we're in a new city, we want to elevate our experience. We're going to pass over Panera and instead we're going to choose the, the local shop from the local company and elevate our experience. You know what I mean? Like, that's just one of the very simple ways that I love to add a little dazzle in because it's like, it's like a new adventure each time. I love a good old reliable. I love a. Ah, good. Like sometimes you just need to go with the classics because you know what to expect and sometimes that's what you need. But the little dazzle, the little extra is, you know, oh, what is this interior going to look like? And oh, how are they going to serve the water? And what kind of glasses do they use? And oh my gosh, this is such a great playlist. I want to, I want to hear what's on the radio. We're going into the women's bathroom. Like, I, I love a good women's bathroom that has like, clearly a woman has curated. You know what I mean? Like, the wallpaper is just on point and the wall sconces perfectly complemented and the shape of the mirror is just voluptuous. And like they've got the cool, funky little mints and the, the paper towels that are extra thick and you're almost sad to throw it away because you feel like you're throwing away cloth. Right? Like, to me, that's dazzle. You know, it, uh, we're not spending $8,000 on lunch, but we're investing a little bit more to have an elevated experience or to find something new. Have I achieved every single one of my goals yet? No. Have I achieved a lot of them? Absolutely. But it's always growing. You know that just as much as I do. You, you. You hit one milestone, you hit one goal. Like, things start moving and you're like, oh, this is moving. This is working. Okay, let's do this. All right, now let's move that over there. Okay, now I want to do a little bit more of this. And that is always moving. You know that. And so this idea of waiting until you hit this certain milestone or achieve this certain goal, it's a game. It's a never ending game. It's like a really awful game of solitaire where you never actually really get to the bottom. You know what I mean? Like, it is forever going. And so when you're waiting till you achieve a certain level of something to start acting like the version of you that has it already, to wait, to start living it, to embody it. Friend, you are cutting yourself short. I think about how many fun little funky coffee shops that my husband and I would have missed out on if I would have said, nope, nope, we're going to wait and go into that eclectic little coffee shop until I achieve my next podcast goal. Nope, we're not going to go out for that nice dinner until I achieve this financial milestone. I used to do that, you know what? And I probably did miss out on a lot of things. But then one day I woke up and realized, you know what? I'm living. I'm here right now and waiting until I meet these goals. I'm shorthanding myself in these moments. And all that does is add stress. It adds to anxiety. It's always in this space of, well, uh, I'm not there yet, right? I'm not perfect yet. I haven't achieved it yet. I'm. I'm not worthy enough yet. All that's doing is supporting an old story and an old narrative that never fits you to begin with. I'm challenging you today to start flipping this, to start adding a little bit of that dazzle. And that's nothing more than saying, start living. Live while you're building. We're not waiting to live until it's done. Because whoever. Have you ever met a single person in your life, especially the high achieving ones, especially other business owners, especially the women that are doing things in their life and in their careers? Has. Have you ever met a single one of them that have been like, yep, I am finished. And now I just sit here and I just bask in it. I. If you've met that person, please connect me with them. Um, because I would love to meet them and understand what's happening in their brain? Yes. The focus shifts. Yes. We achieve levels where it's like, okay, I don't have to go as hard or, you know, I feel better because my bank account is, you know, really supporting my lifestyle. And, okay, so things shift. But when you're just a, uh, natural go getter, when you're always dreaming of things and creating things, you're always doing something like, the thought of me retiring someday is laughable. Will I slow down? Maybe. Will I work at a different pace? Probably. But will I ever stop completely? I. I can't even fathom that idea. But am I going to wait until that point to enjoy all of the hard work that I've put in for decades? Fuck no. And I want today to be your fuck no moment too. Because you're not building this because you're bored. You're building a life that you actually want. You're building a business that gives you the freedom and flexibility that you're craving. You're making shifts in your careers to have the financial autonomy that you deserve. You're making gutsy moves in your life because you want to live your life. So instead of waiting until everything's done and everything's perfect and all the pieces are in place and all the boxes are checked, what if you started to add a little bit of dazzle in your life now? We're gonna start moving and choosing and feeling that feeling of achievement. Now, is it a little bit of pretend sometimes? Sure. But are you lying to yourself if you know that this is something that you ultimately are working towards anyway? I don't think so. I think it's building evidence. I think it's showing yourself what's possible. I think it is helping you to balance out the tough moments with amazing moments, with small moments that have impact. The way we start to pull all this closer is to start moving like the woman that's already done it by making intentional choices and saying, hey, if that's how she moves, why am I waiting to move like that? Why am I putting that off? How do I think that she's going to event like, are you just going to wake up one day and all of a sudden this is how you move? Or are you going to build habits? Are you going to shift things? Are you going to change your decision making? Are you going to be more confident within yourself? All these things happen in little moments, and those moments don't have to wait to start. Once all that is done, it starts right now. Let me give you a couple examples of adding a Little dazzle. Okay, again, dealer's choice. You get to define it. Defined. What elevated looks like for you. If there is a feeling that you're looking for, if there's something that you are craving in your life, but there's something that is like, oh, if I just did that a little bit more, I would feel really good. You know, These are small ways, very intentional ways, though. Small, intentional ways that you are taking care of yourself, that you're pouring into your possibility that you are embodying the woman that you know that you are. So, for instance, if we think about future you. Okay, let's say future you sits in her garden and reads. That's something that she loves to either start her day with or she ends her day with. She's just in this really beautiful landscape, right? Small, huge, doesn't matter, whatever. She gets to be out there, right? She's in this really nice chair that's very comfortable. It supports her back in all the right ways. She's got this really pretty little waterscape going. There's this butterfly garden, right? The rose bushes are just completely on point. Maybe she's got one of those canopy things with the flowing curtains, right? I'm really setting a scene here. Okay, follow me. And a couple of days a week, or maybe every day she goes out there, 20 minutes, an hour, whatever she wants to decide. And she sits in that amazing, luxurious chair that supports her in all the right ways. And she reads, she listens to the birds. She feels the breeze on her face. She watches those flowy curtains on the canopy just flowing by her. It just adds so much peace and value. And she's nourishing her mind and she's taking care of her body, and her nervous system is regulated and damn, does she move like it. What a vision, right? What a lifestyle that doesn't have to wait. What's happening right now? Okay, if we look at present day, we look out at your back patio, and the weeds are overgrown. It's coming up between the patio pavers. The rose bush died three years ago. And we've got all the old out there. We've got lawn furniture that has been out there since 1997. And it's just too hot because there's nothing covering it. And it doesn't look good and it doesn't feel good. And so we just never go out there. If I just called you out. Sorry. Not sorry. Okay. I want you to have a visual representation of how we add a little dazzle in. How. How is she going to. She, as in future you going to enjoy that amazing backyard area when all of your outback is busted? Looking out there and seeing it overgrown and falling apart, all that's doing is reinforcing. That you can't have it. That, that life that you desire is so far beyond you. Okay, enough of that. Uh, that's not helping you, right? That's not helping you mentally. That's not helping your backyard. Everything is staying stagnant. Okay, let's ramp up the dazzle. What are we gonna do? We're gonna clean that up. You don't need to hire a landscaper to come in and do a, uh, twenty thousand dollar backyard makeover if you can and want to have at it. But let's start with whatever feels accessible to you. Could we spend an afternoon and go out and weed? Probably. Can we clean up the trash? Can we get rid of the old ass furniture? Listen, that stuff is one seat away from being on the floor. Let's let it go. This all isn't happening overnight. You don't have to be a weekend warrior and create a masterpiece in three days and, you know, wear your shit out. I'm just saying, start acting like the woman that already has that space. The way that she got that is you doing it right now. Because future you is you right now. How do you think that she got to sit out there in that amazing chair with that amazing little butterfly garden? Well, a few months or a few years prior to that, she decided enough was enough. She got up, she went outside, and she started taking care of her space in a new way. Here's another example. Let's talk about the way that future you dresses. Okay? She wears fun, colorful outfits that are tailored and they fit well and they just have flow and personality and they're a little eclectic, right? Uh, pick your poison, right? Whatever your future style is, go with that. But in this example, she is really leaning into flowy and eclectic and colorful and movement and big prints and big wild sunglasses, right? Like, she just, she just lives large. Some of it she's thrifted, some of it she's splurged on, Some of it she's inherited. I mean, it's just, it's a whole eclectic mix of all kinds of pieces. But man, when she puts that stuff on, she moves different, her posture is strong. When she walks into a room, everyone is like, oh my God, where did you get that? When she's in meetings or going out with friends, everyone's just always talking about like, oh my gosh, you always look so nice and I love the way that you look and, gosh, I just want to be more like you. Right? Like, it's just. It just feels good. And she feels good because she's confident in herself. It's expressing who she is. It's expressing her personality. She feels embodied in herself. Her confidence is through the roof. I mean, it just feels incredible. Let's pull it back. Let's look at present day. Uh, you. You're wearing the same monotone clothes that are 20 years old that are half fitting and half not. While you're holding onto all the someday pieces that you don't even really like anymore, you stay away from the prints. You have very little color in your wardrobe, and you're always covering yourself up in ways. Right? You know, you're putting the cardigan on, and you're kind of tucking it around the front and hiding yourself and crossing your arms. And your energy is smaller. It's pulled in, it's retracted. That's not who you truly are, but it's who you're showing up as every day. Again, it's reinforcing that. That confident, colorful woman that moves with ease is impossible to achieve. It feels impossible because it feels so far off, so far beyond where you are right now that you can't even wrap your head around it. But how did she get confident? She started moving different now. She didn't wake up one day with a perfectly curated closet. No. She started to add pieces. She started to dabble. She started to say, okay, that's a little beyond my comfort zone, but I'm kind of pulled towards it. And what if I wore that to the next meeting? I don't know what they're gonna say, but damn it, I really want to do this. That's the dazzle, right? That's the dazzle. That's the gutsy move where you're like, uh, this is not yet me. But I feel like it could be. And I want to try. I want to experiment. I want to see what this looks like on me. I want to see how I feel in this. I. You will be so surprised when you go out of your comfort zone and you put something on your body that you wouldn't normally wear, how many compliments you get or the way that you move. Like, notice when you wear something that just fits all the right ways. You move differently, don't you? It's kind of like walking in a great pair of shoes that look really good, but don't hurt your feet. Like, you can. Your stride, your strut. Okay? You might as well just Have a Runway in front of you. Okay? That's the feeling I'm talking about. So let's start to add a little bit of that dazzle in. Now start saying yes to pieces. That kind of make you a little bit nervous. Go through your closet for the love of all things mighty, and get rid of all that old that you don't even like anymore. It's heavy energetically. It's taking up physical space. Let it go. You get to thrift pieces. You get to find stuff at TJ Maxx or Marshalls. You get to splurge on things every once in a while. When your friends go through their closet and they're giving out pieces, you get to choose what feels right for you. Right. Like you're. You're curating your future wardrobe. Now, we're not waiting until it's perfect because it never becomes your idea of perfect. If you don't ever start one more. I want to add in here. This is a business specific focus. Okay. To add a little dazzle in. Think about the future. You that has a team that supports you. They are helping to maintain her growth. She's got things delegated. She's out of the weeds of stuff. Oh, God. Isn't that every business owner's dream is to get out of the that they don't want to do. Stuff happens without her having to think about it or worry about it. She comes in and drops her knowledge and her vision. She does the work that she loves the most and gets out of the way. She has free time. She's not thinking about it on the weekends. I mean, ugh, Chef's, uh, kiss across the board. Let's look at current day. You. Yeah, I'm coming for you. Your systems are non existent. You're unorganized as and you are over committed to the max. Okay, that's tough. That's hard stuff to work with. That makes something that's already difficult substantially more difficult. We think that. Okay, once I get the team, then these things will get better. I. I hate to tell you this. I know you might want to punch me in the face a little bit, and I'm okay with that. Uh, you're gonna have to do a little bit more work right now. And that work, yes, it's a chunk of time, yes, it's a chunk of energy right now. But if you take something, at least one part of your process and you systemize it and you organize it, you're setting yourself and your future team, uh, up for success. And if you don't want A big team. You don't have to have one. I don't have a big team. But if you want. If you know that eventually you want someone to support you, you have to have that set up for them. We don't have to invite them into a mess. You can invite them in to say, hey, this is what I've got. We can refine it, but we've got a solid starting point. And until that person comes on, guess what? You get to use that same system every single day until you do. So. The dazzle here is prepping for your future team. It's creating the systems. It's organizing your files, it's protecting your time. It's showing up and making decisions and taking action in a way that the version of you at that version of your business, that level of your business. How does she move? How is she making decisions? How is she showing up? What is she fixing? What is she getting rid of? Start doing that stuff now. Because the only way that the business is singing all the right tunes later is from the decisions that you make today. Damn, I am pumped up about this. Because this is a game changer. You do not need to wait until everything is perfect to start feeling the way that you know you deserve to feel. The way that you build your confidence and you find out answers and you experience life is by choosing to. Not by waiting until all the boxes are checked. Not until. Waiting until you reach every single financial milestone that you have. No, it's saying, you know what? I'm gonna live along the way. I'm gonna start making decisions that support where I'm going, and I'm gonna add a little dazzle in there because, damn it, I enjoy it. I want to feel things. I want to experience things. One of my fun little ways that I add, ah. Dazzle into my life is I drink my orange juice out of a champagne flute every single morning. It's just a little pizzazz. It's just a little dazzle. But damn, does it remind me of a rooftop bar that we had brunch on one morning in New York City where the weather was just perfect, the food was amazing, they understood gluten free. I had a mimosa. Everything was just incredible. And after that moment, I was like, I want this. I want this feeling in my life that's a little dazzle. Start adding a little dazzle in your life, friend. You're worth it. You've already earned it. Uh, hear me, hear me, listen. You've already earned it. There's nothing more that you have to do to prove that you can have this right now. Fun little challenge. Take a picture of how you add some dazzle into your life. Tag me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok. Wherever you do your thing, I want to reshare it. So make sure you tag me. I want other women to see the dazzle that you're adding into your life. I want to empower other women to say, oh, yeah, I never thought about that. Or, oh, that would be a fun thing to do. Or, oh, my gosh, that looks incredible on you. The way that we empower other women to make gutsy moves is to show them the gutsy moves that women are already making. So snap your picture of your dazzle. Tag me on the platform. Let's reshare it and build the gutsy moves. My handle is, uh. And as always, until I see you next time, stay gutsy.