Why Your Business Isn't Scaling (And It's Probably Your Ego) with Angela Henderson

Speaker A: You're listening to the Angela Henderson Online business show, episode 484. Hey there, you amazing human.

Speaker B: And welcome to the Angela Henderson Online Business show, the podcast that is designed for female entrepreneurs who want to make more money in a way that is in alignment for them. If you're looking for practical advice, proven strategies, and expert insights to help you navigate the challenges of growing your business, then you've come to the right place. Welcome, my friend. I am your host, Angela Henderson, a proud Canadian living in beautiful Australia. And I'm a business coach, consultant and strategist who has helped thousands of women around the world build successful businesses. Through solo episodes and interviews with successful business owners, industry experts and thought leaders, you'll get insider insights into what it

Speaker A: takes to succeed in today's digital age.

Speaker B: Whether you're struggling to scale your business, looking for ways to boost your productivity, or or seeking ways to overcome the challenges of being an entrepreneur, this show has everything you need to succeed and more. So subscribe, pop your headphones on and get ready to creating the business and life you deserve today by allowing the Angela Henderson Online Business show help you create a winning strategy, develop the right mindset, and build lasting wealth.

Speaker A: I want to ask you a question, and before you answer it, I want you to be brutally honest with yourself. Who's making the decisions in your business in order to scale? Is it you? Or is it that pesky little friend of yours, your ego? Now, before you think, Angela, I don't have an ego. I want you to hear me out, because we all do. I'm not talking about arrogance. I'm not talking about thinking you're, uh, better than everyone else. I'm talking about the really sneaky version of ego, the one that disguises itself as confidence, maybe even as ambition, as, uh, success, as the one saying, I'm just doing what's best for my business, when really it's quietly driving decisions that aren't actually serving you and stopping you from scaling your business. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Not because I think I'm immune to it, actually. In fact, that's quite the opposite. But the longer I've been in business, the more I've realized I have to keep checking myself. Because if I don't, my ego starts making decisions before I even realize it. And that, uh, becomes the driver seat for everything that's going on in my business. And it messes up with my ability to scale. And this conversation is more important than you actually think. And I'm going to share with you Examples that you're probably going to be shaking your head along with. So follow along. Because honestly, some of the biggest mistakes I've made in business haven't come back from again. The strategy component, though, that's what we always think it is. They come from listening to my ego instead of my values. You see, years ago, I was invited to speak and stage in America. On paper, it looked absolutely incredible. Most people would have said, you'd be crazy not to go. However, there are a few things that I had to take into consideration. I was going to have to pay for my own flights, take time away from my young family, step away from the business. But in addition to that, it was going to cost me quite a shit ton of money because they weren't paying me to speak on this particular stage. And I remember sitting there thinking about it. And then this thought popped into my head. I cannot wait to get a photo with the person running the event. And honestly, that thought stopped me in my tracks. Because I realized something that day. I wasn't thinking about how I was going to be able to help the audience or how I could better serve the people there, or whether or not this was even the right investment. Things were tainted. Why? Because my ego is there. And all I was thinking about was the photo, the recognition that I would get on social media, the validation that I would have within my body, what other people would think when they saw it. And like I said, I remember sitting there thinking, wow, Angela, when the hell did you allow this ego to take over? This isn't you, Ang. This isn't why you started your business or why you get out of bed every morning, but you're now wanting your ego to come into play. You want to feel important. And from that day on, I've asked myself one question before making almost any significant decisions. Who's making this decision? Angela or Angela's ego? Because they are not the same person when it comes to scaling your business based on good decisions. To go a little bit further, here's what I've learned. Your ego rarely announces itself. It doesn't say, hey, Ang, I'm about to make a terrible business decision. It's much quieter than that. It whispers, take the photo, Ange. Prove them wrong. Reply to that email no matter what. Show everyone. Buy the thing, Ang. It's really important. Buy that Gucci purse. Post the win. Tell people how busy you are. Make sure everyone knows how successful you are. It's subtle, and that's what makes it so freaking dangerous. I'll, uh, give you another example. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to convince yourself you're investing in your business, when really you're investing in your identity? I've seen it over and over and over again. Business owners spending tens of thousands on a rebound, on a new logo, on a new website, on professional photos. On that other course, another certification even. Fancy piece of software, fancy clothes, fancy dinners now, huh? Don't get me wrong again. I have a professional photo shoot coming up next week. None of these things are bad. And as I said, I've invested in most of them over the years. But here's the question I think we need to be asking ourselves. Am I doing this because my business genuinely needs the updated photos? Yes, mine does. Am I doing this because my website is no longer conversional and I need the above, the full copy to convert and I need this? Yes. Yes, it does. Or am I doing this because my ego likes how it looks? Because there's a difference. Your ego loves things people can see. The beautiful branding, the polished website, the incredible photos, even the office. Most of us do not need to be spending money in office. What about the awards? Those awards are, uh, a, uh, fucking time suck. Not to mention most of the panels are not. Do you mean accredited panels? Don't get me started about awards. But what about the followers looking at you, the blue tick, the recognition. But the things that actually grow your business, they're often invisible. The things like, what do I say? The fortunes and the follow up. Following up on your leads every single day, looking at your data every single month. Why? Because numbers do not lie. Refining your offer or having difficult conversations with your team, Maybe doing the boring work like improving your systems, making another sales call, serving your clients exceptionally well. Nobody claps for those things, do they? Nobody like high fives or comments on them. Nobody shares that shit on Instagram. Right, but that's the work that builds and scales businesses. And sometimes I think we spend so much time trying to look successful that we forget to actually become successful. Then there's another way. I've seen ego show up. Comparison. This one is dangerous, my friend, because comparison doesn't always make us feel smaller. Sometimes it makes us feel bigger. Maybe you've had a great launch or you've just signed some new clients, had your best month ever, and things are finally clicking in your business. You're like, yes, I'm finally. It's working. And before you know it, you start looking around the room differently. That's right. You stop looking differently around that room. You stop listening as much. You stop asking questions, you stop being curious and you quietly start believing that you figured it out. But I've seen this time and time again. And if I'm honest, I have caught myself here too. Not because I wanted to think I was better than anyone else, but because success has a funny way of making you think you've arrived to the destination. But the problem is business has an even funnier way of reminding you that you have not arrived at the destination. One great month doesn't mean you've mastered business. A, uh, sold out launch doesn't mean you've got nothing left to learn. One speaking gig or that one award you spent money on in hours. Do you know what I mean? Creating your submission. One viral post. One incredible year. None of, uh, it means you've arrived. None of it. Because the best business owners that I've met around the globe, we stay students, we remain curious, we ask questions, we're still learning and we're still sitting in rooms where we are not the smartest people. And I think that's one of the greatest indicators for long term success. Not how much you know, but by how willing you are to keep learning. Quick pause from today's episode. If you are serious about scaling your business, increasing your impact and surrounding yourself with the right people, then I'd love to personally invite you to my annual three day Women in Business conference at the Gold Coast. For three powerful days, you will learn from incredible speakers, connect with ambitious women from around Australia and walk away with practical strategies, meaningful relationships and opportunities that could change the trajectory of your business. Because sometimes your next breakthrough isn't another podcast episode or online course, but it's about getting yourself into the right room. And if you've been thinking about joining us, now is the time. Why? Because we only have 50 tickets remaining for this three day annual women in Business conference. And once they're gone, they're gone. To grab one of these last remaining 50 tickets, head to AngelaHenderson.com and grab yours today. Now let's get back to the episode. One of the biggest places my ego still shows up today is conflict. I'm not going to lie about it. Someone sends a difficult email or they leave an unfair comment on my Facebook ad, or someone says something that simply isn't true. Every part of me wants to go batshit crazy, Karen, immediately. I mean, I'm telling you, my ego wants to defend myself and I want to prove that I am right. And I want to also have the last word. No, I'm not going to lie about it. And honestly, I could write one hell of a response. But these days, I've learned to pause. Just to pause and to breathe. Because I've realized something. My ego wants to win the argument. And right, that's what's happening, is that my ego wants to win the argument. But Angela wants to also protect her peace. And these are two very different goals. Winning an argument doesn't always mean you've made the right decision. Sometimes the strongest response is no response. Sometimes leadership is choosing not to react at all. Right? And often, too, leadership is recognizing that not every email deserves our energy, that every opinion deserves our attention. Not every criticism deserves our response. Years ago, I would have fired back. Trust me, Karen would have been out. I would have wanted to explain, defend myself, prove my point. But today I asked myself a different question. Will this response change the outcome? Or will it simply make my ego feel better for five minutes again? They're two very different things. And more often than not, the answer is no. So what I do, I will close the laptop, even though my ego is sitting on my shoulder saying, don't do it. Don't do it. Right? I will either go for a walk, I will go read, I will place a duko, I will sleep on it. I might even call up a peer and just have a conversation about what has happened. And you can bet your bottom dollar that nine times out of 10, the email that I wanted to send never gets sent. Not because I don't have anything to say, but because my piece, again, is worth more than proving a point. And you know how I feel about social media. I have a love hate relationship with social media. And I think social media has also made this even harder because we are fucking constantly being shown everyone else's daily, hourly, right highlight reel. Again, we scroll through our feed and we see who was speaking on stage or, uh, who was flying in business class that week, who had another six figure launch, who's on another holiday, who's bought another investment property, who has another feature in a magazine. And if we're not careful, our, uh, ego starts whispering again. Just whispers. You should be doing that, Angela. You should have that. You need to keep up. You need people to know you're successful. But again, I've had to learn the hard way. The people I'm most impressed by rarely need to tell me how impressive they are. Because why? They're quietly building and scaling their business. They are quietly serving their clients. They are creating impact. And they are not freaking chasing significance. They're creating it. There's a difference. Again, you know something Else that I realized. Ego loves urgency. It tells you. Reply, uh, now, Ange, to that email. Buy that Gucci bag now. Say yes to that speaking gig before you speak to your family. Post it on social media now. Prove yourself now. But wisdom, wisdom again, slows you down. And it says to you, sleep on it. It's very calm, nurturing. Think about it. Ask another question. Get another perspective. Ange, I have made some of the best decisions of my life because I didn't make them in the moment. I gave myself permission to Pause. Pausing. I'm just breathing. It will save you, and it's free. And equally, some of my worst business decisions were the ones I made because I felt I had something to prove. That's, uh, something to prove to me. Or I had something to prove to my family or someone within my industry, to people who maybe doubted me. But again, that funny little thing is people who are living rent free in your head probably aren't thinking about you at all yet. We build businesses trying to prove something to the people who aren't even watching that, again, is ego quietly making its way into your world and your decisions. I also think ego shows up in another way. It tells us that asking for help is a weakness, that we've got to figure it out all of ourselves. That if we ask too many questions, people will think we don't know what we're doing. It will compromise the growth of our business. I've been in business for many, many years. I've built multiple businesses. I've coached thousands of people. I've spoken on multiple stages. I've won the awards. Do you know what? I still show up almost daily, asking questions, paying for mentors, and sitting in rooms where I know I'm not the smartest person. Because the freaking day I think I've got nothing left to learn is the day my business stops scaling. Confidence says I know what I'm good at, but wisdom says I know there's still more to learn. Ego tries to confuse the two. So how do you know if your ego is making your business decisions and reducing you from scaling or scaling up? Here's a few questions I always like to ask myself. Am I making this decision because it aligns with my values or because I want validation? Am I saying yes because it's generally a great opportunity or, uh, because how it will look and how it sounds? If I post on social media, am I spending this money because it will genuinely move the business forward or because it will make me look successful? Am I posting this because I'll Serve my audience or because I want an applause? Am I replying because it's the wisest thing to do or because I need to win? These questions that I've just shared with you have saved me more times than I can count. I don't think ego ever disappears. Mine certainly hasn't. It still whispers, angela. Angela. It still tells me to prove people wrong. It still wants recognition. It still wants to be acknowledged. It sure the hell still wants to defend myself. That's probably my biggest one that I always am working on. And it wants to win. But these days, I recognize its voice much quicker. But I've also worked on the inner work with healers, my nervous system, regulation, and a lot of the work that I do in my third business, the Healing center of Australia. Because we believe, heal people, heal people, hurt people, hurt people. And, um, we've got to change from the inside out. And if not, then guess what? That ego will still continue to be there. It will still be wanting to show you up, trip you up, mess you up. And again, as I said, though, now nowadays, I recognize its voice much quicker. And that's difference. Not perfection, but awareness. Because awareness gives me choice. When I start to make those decisions, I get to choose whether ego gets the microphone or whether or not wisdom does the same thing goes with you. You get to choose whether your decisions are driven by validation or by your values. Whether they're driven by image or impact, Whether they're driven by proving or purpose. So today, I want to leave you with one question, actually. Okay. Not one. Three. The next time you're about to make a decision in your business, pause, take a breath, and ask yourself, who's making this decision? Is it me or is it my ego? What am I really trying to achieve? And finally, will this decision still feel like the right one if nobody in the world ever knows I made it? And I personally think it's the last question that cuts through the noise. Will this decision still feel like the right one if nobody ever knows I made it? Because if the answer is yes, chances are you're making the decision for the right reasons. If the answer is no, maybe it's worth sitting with that just a little bit longer. I've, uh, learned that businesses built on ego. It's exhausting. I think back to when my ego was in full force. It was exhausting and tiring, and I was always on edge, just almost looking for something right, because we're constantly chasing the next thing, the next number, the next person to impress, the next post, the next win, the next accolade. But again, business is built on purpose. They're different. They're the quiet achievers in the background. They're steady and they're built from the inside out. But also, they often come far more successful than any other business. Not because they were chasing success, but because they were chasing significance. So I hope this episode today has given you the opportunity to simply remember, to pause and reflect. Not to judge yourself, not to feel guilty, but to become aware. Because awareness changes everything. And perhaps the most important business decision or ah question that you can ask yourself this week isn't what's my next strategy, brother? Who's making the next decision? Is it you or is it your ego? Like I said, ego is a detriment to you. If you're looking at scaling your businesses, it will mess you up far more occasions than like I said, you can count. So be very mindful of where that little devil ego is showing up today, tomorrow and in the future. Not only in business, but also with your friends, your family and you. And if you need any help with scaling your business, don't forget to reach out@AngelaHenderson.com where you can explore how I can support you in either either a one hour session, a VIP day, my masterminds, my one on one, or by coming to Australia's three day Women in Business Conference. We are down to our last less than 50 tickets, so if you're wanting to come, make sure to head to AngelaHenderson.com today. You I hope you have a beautiful day no matter where you are in the world and I look forward to you joining us again next week for another amazing podcast of the Angela Henderson Online Business Show. Bye for now.

Speaker B: Thanks for listening to the Angela Henderson online business show www.angelahenderson.com au.