evolve | eps 56 | Gül Sönmez, Mindfulness Trainer & Consultant, Founder | Purposefulvibes.com

Speaker A: Hello everyone and welcome to Rise Evolves Leadership series where today we're focusing on the evolution of the workplace. I'm Kim Ford, your host and today I have a very special guest. Um, please take a minute to introduce yourself and your company.

Speaker B: Hello. Hi everyone. First of all, thank you Kim for having me on your show. I'm very excited to be here. Um, this is Guth. I'm a mindfulness coach and a trainer. Uh, I work with corporates and organizations like national football teams in terms of mindfulness in order to help the participants to navigate stress in their lives. Uh, and I also work with um, managers and leaders in order to help their own journey with uh, mindfulness and well being.

Speaker A: That's exciting and really look forward to having this discussion because I think it's an issue so many business leaders and companies are having today. Um, the word mindful, I love that. I think a lot of people overlook it as well. They don't think that just being courteous, kind, mindful of your surroundings, of others, of just things going on is just so important, especially in the workplace. What led you to mindfulness coaching in general?

Speaker B: It's a great question. Actually it came top down when uh, I was doing coaching and um, in my private, as a hobby, I was doing coaching and healing sessions with um, with people while I was on my own corporate career. And uh, one of my clients was the wife of our vp. So he was like I think two or three layers up. And uh, the wife was telling him, oh my God, we're doing this in session. This meditation really helps me. And as he was witnessing his wife one day, um, when it was the time of COVID where all the employees were locked in their houses, everybody was so stressed, stressed. Suddenly our world changed and like stress managing everything became a big part of our daily life. Uh, that time I was working at Amazon headquarters in Europe and that um, we just told, oh, can she do some mindfulness series for the employees as well? Yeah, and I was already a trainer that time. I was already helping with uh, learning and development area. So for me it was my passion, my hobby. And I can do it in a daytime job was an amazing opportunity. So I created some workshops in terms of mindfulness. Things more related to what are the techniques, tangible, like practical techniques that people can use in their day life. Why we have so much neck pain and back pain in the business environment. Uh, how can we move on from the disputes in business environment? So this series became quite popular and I had um, demand from other companies as well. And this is how they born and how they grow.

Speaker A: Oh, that's wonderful. And what is, and it sounds like a simple question, but what is a healthy work environment? What does that look like?

Speaker B: Uh, this is a tough one. This is a tough one. But I think so. I personally don't believe in there's work and life. I think we have life and work is a big part of our life. So it is really not possible to continue with the approach. I work at 9 to 5 and I am just after 5. I'm like a robot. I shut down, I go to my life. This really doesn't happen. But I think this work from home. And when Covet hit this pandemic, thought that it's not possible anymore because we had to work from home where we have to juggle many other responsibilities at the same time. Right? You have to cook, you have to clean, you have the kids, you have to job. Suddenly we all realize that, okay, um, this is not helping. So I think a healthy work environment is a work environment which, which is aligned with your virtues. So that when you put your hand on your heart, you're like, okay, like this is aligned with my, uh, with my virtues. I feel, um, safe here. I feel confident here. I know if I have any disputes, I know where to go. And I think it's also aligned with your kind of, um, dreams, let's say, like, where do you see yourself? It's a kind of path, uh, in order to take you where you want to go in the end. So I think this is a health work environment and it's part of life.

Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. And I love it when people ask me, how do you balance work and home? And, you know, how does that work for you? And I'm like, there's no such thing. Because every single day it changes and adapts based on what needs to be done. And I don't know. I always tell people that they should pick three things that they need to focus on most in that day only. And just make sure you achieve those three things. Uh, you know, eat the frog is what I love to say, to do what you least want to do first and get it over with. And it just, it helps, but I just, I don't know that I totally agree with the concept of there's no such thing as really balancing at all. It kind of all overflows together. And if you really do want to shut down at 5 o', clock, then I don't think you're in the right job. If you really want to flip a switch, you're Just not in the right business. Because everything you do should be enjoyable and you should look for it.

Speaker B: Exactly.

Speaker A: Mental health awareness has made a lot of progress. I mean, we've seen it across the board. What are some shortcomings that have persisted in the workplace itself?

Speaker B: Like in terms of how it developed or.

Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, in general, like when you think of mental health. I think that. I think one of the shortcomings that comes to mind for me, um, and I've seen it directly and not necessarily in my workplace, but in other people's workplace is just that lack of self awareness, of kind of not understanding that you could be hurting somebody else's feelings. Um, you know, things like that. What are you seeing?

Speaker B: Yeah, well, really good. Um, so one of the things, because I also worked in a corporate environment, uh, for 15 years. And one of the things that I had to. I used to struggle a lot with my neck pain. Like sometimes I used to have a neck pain and I used to take painkillers. I used to go to, you know, the doctors. And it's sometimes there, sometimes it's not. So when you go deeper, the approach of like, let's say loose hay to understand like all diseases are kind of signaling something I just learned. Like the, the aspect of neck pain is. Usually comes when you have the angle of being. Being right. You want to be right when you don't want to see all the angles. You know, when you cannot see all the angles and you're persistent on your perspective. Usually this is when neck pain happens. When I read about this, I was like, okay, what are the perspectives that I am? Um, I don't want to see in my life. And I think sometimes in business, as business drives us, we need to be right all the time. Right? You don't want to go to any meeting and say, okay, I'm wrong. You need to be right all the time. And I think this pressure of being right all the time kind of creates perception. Perception class clashes within the people. And we just take it super personally. Uh, but we just need to understand that these are just different perspectives. People can have their perspective. The, the beauty is to look at from different perspectives and find a common ground. This is wanting perspective. And second thing is just sometimes we took it too personal. Uh, and we always need to remember that we do business with people, not with companies. In the end, this person to person relationship. And in this person to person relationship, when you take everything on a different level, kind of personal, without seeing other person's agenda, understanding their needs, then we create so Much struggle in the workplace.

Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, for sure. What are some ways that leaders can bring more focus to mindfulness within their teams or within their companies?

Speaker B: Yeah, for leaders, I think the best way is to create space for this kind of practices because it's really nice to tell people, yeah, okay, you should do this mindfulness things. But a best practice can be, okay, Friday, rebook 30 minutes for, uh, meditation, stress release meditation. Or maybe every, every month for one hour we're gonna do an inspirational talk. So instead of just talking about mindfulness, I think a good leader should create some space for employees to be able to try those techniques and tools with a bit more practical approach. Because most people I talk in the business world, um, they're like, yeah, ah, these are amazing. A. I don't know how to start, I don't know where to start, I don't know which books to read. So I think, uh, rather than just bringing everyone and okay, checking the box is really important to bring the aspects of uh, a bit practical, uh, exercises that people can really take it during their daytime because in the end is some. If someone is better in terms of mentally, if they're stronger, they are a better employee in the end.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So I think it's very important for leaders to understand the more happier people are, the more aligned people are, the better employees they are.

Speaker A: Yeah, so true. What are some of the mindfulness practices that are often overlooked or they're just not thought of by leaders?

Speaker B: I think one of the very basic thing like meditation has been there for a very long time, but there's so much misunderstanding of meditation, um, especially in the business world. So people usually think that, okay, they do once and it's gonna work and it doesn't and they give up so easily. So I think it's a very basic concept, but it's just, yeah, okay, meditation. I tried, but when you really question people, you understand they really didn't try because there's so many different types of medit. The beauty is to find your type of meditation which can help you to center your energy, ground yourself and get ready for a business day. Or maybe you're a high achiever with lots of responsibilities. Then you need to do meditations related to your focus issue. Or maybe you're an, uh, executive who cannot sleep at nights. Then you need to shift your meditation focus in order to rest your body and being able to sleep. So I think meditation is one of those tools of mindfulness which is really overlooked. And yeah, meditation, um, we know without really trying it Deeply. And I think the second one is the power of journaling. It is also over there. We know it, we know it's powerful. Everybody does it once or twice, then everybody leaves it. Yeah, yeah, it works. But I never did it. Uh, and the third one is actually, is right now that people are so open to try different things by themselves. So any kind of self training, any kind of giving people the right amount of tools, I think people are really willing to go for it. So this type of self trainings also is a bit overlooked.

Speaker A: M. Yeah, that's true. And how, how do we shift our mindset when we're stuck? I mean, I think that's one of the hardest things. Like, you know, you. You get into a rut and how do you get out of it? Is it a mindful thing? I mean, is it something that you just have to kind of dig yourself out? Is there a shortcut?

Speaker B: Shortcut? Uh, there's not a shortcut, unfortunately. But there's a process.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So when we have processes, it's easier to navigate rather than, oh my God, I'm stuck. Stuck. And the reason I started this journey, uh, on my own was 10 years ago when my right hand was stuck. So in one day in office, I couldn't move my hand. As I mentioned, sometimes the diseases are showing your own reality. So I couldn't open my hand. And I need to get a surgery. And I didn't want to get a surgery because it's my right hand. And suddenly in one day I couldn't use it. And there was nothing in my MRI or scans. So they come up with, uh, overused disease. But I was not using my hands so much. Another gamer or another coder I didn't buy. Like, I didn't overuse it so much. This is when actually I started to look for this kind of mindfulness, um, area in order to understand how can I unlock my hand. Like, is there anything I can do in order to prevent the surgery? Because I'm right handed. Right hand surgery, I don't want it if there is not tangible reason. So this time actually showed me what stuckness is. Because sometimes we're just so stuck in our thoughts and we get the signals with our body. So the first thing of stuckness is just to accept that you're stuck. Yeah, just face the reality. And facing the reality can be hard, but it's a very good start. Okay. These are the areas of my life where I'm stuck, where I'm not happy, where something is bothering me, and then acceptance that you need to accept that is what it is now. So from acceptance, you can go to a different route. And usually this, like, the first is acceptance and then being willing and ready for the road. Because it's not, uh, it's not just like, okay, I do one activity, I'm going to move out of my stuckness. We need some repetitions, we need to create some different habits in order to take us from there. So it takes a little bit of routine. It takes time and energy. So this willingness of the person is the most important thing because only you can do it yourself. Usually people want appeal or people want someone in order to walk their path, but only you. And then at that time, uh, you just need to face again, different areas of your life, different perspectives. Okay, what are, uh, the blocks that I have? Make peace with those blocks. Forgive the people you need to forgive. And just ask yourself, what is the change you want? And of course you're going to be scared. Nobody wants to move from comfort zone. If the change you want is an easy one, probably you're on the wrong edge. It needs to change, you know, shift you from out of your comfort zone. Uh, but when you follow this process, there's always a way out. But it just requires a bit of work.

Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Well, leaders of all types of companies today have different types of challenges.

Speaker B: We.

Speaker A: What advice? If you could give a piece of advice, what advice would you give to business leaders today?

Speaker B: I think one of the advice I would give is to really listen and understand the needs of the organization. Because sometimes we think this is what the needs of the organization. But when you talk to people and really listen, you understand that actually their needs are a bit different. And especially in terms of mindfulness, um, in terms of mental health, people are not asking for too much. They just ask, you know, the basics from the companies that they work. So it's really important to first listen the needs so you can bring the best solutions for them. This, um, is the, I think first advice, I would say. And the second one, understanding and acceptance that the business world is shifting with the new generation. When I started, where 15 years ago, if I said I was burnout, they would fire me. It was easy. I was easy target. You know, I, um, have burnout. You know, they have this luxury. Nobody used to get burnouts. Like, nobody had the luxury of burnout. But the business environment has shifted. Right now, the new generation, who is going to be the managers right now, they're very vocal about their mental health. Like probably 20 years ago, people were hiding their mental health. It was kind of mean to say I have a coach. I, I am working with a coach with something like, no, no, no, or I work with a psychiatrist, whatever. You hide these things. But new generation, they are very vocal about these things. So also they understand that what worked before will not work now. Yeah, uh, it's, it's shifting. And the third thing I think there is a bit, we make it too complex. The basic stuff, they always work. So the most of the mindfulness techniques are very basic and they really, the reason they're basic is because they work. So there's no need to over complicate how we want to run this kind of, you know, mental awareness agenda. Like always go to the basics. Make sure that first you have the basics and try to see the results track and then go back listen so that you can change accordingly.

Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. Thank you so much. Our goal with Evolve is to enable leaders to learn, grow and connect together. And thank you so much for sharing your insights and experience on this, uh, on this beautiful day in this workplace series.

Speaker B: So thank you, thank you, thank you for having me.