Scott Simon: How to face fear and live more vibrantly

Speaker A: Lead your organization, your team and yourself with greater, uh, intentionality, with more purpose, higher performance and more positive impact. Uh, uh, it's all about being more strategic. That's what we focus on right here on my podcast, Lancefield on the Line with me, David Lancefield, as your host and guide. Now imagine you're doing okay in life. Things are pretty good. You might even be really successful. Why would you possibly want to tackle your fears? Why would you want to be more courageous in how you live your life at, ah, work, at home, elsewhere in your community? You don't need to. Well, this episode challenges that presumption and my guest Scott Simon leads a life of courage, tackling his fears of scaring his soul. The title of his book and the new book that he's writing around questions, asking better questions of himself because he wants to lead a more vibrant life. There's a restlessness to him. So this episode will give you provocation, it will give you encouragement to be more courageous, to tackle your fears and it will explain why and how to do that on a daily basis. So let's get stuck in, shall we? These are big words. It's a great title of your first book. I know you have it you're working on at this, the current, the time of this recording a second book on the book of questions, focusing on courage or co authoring that book. But your first book was about, you know, scare your soul, which is a broad, brilliant title. It's quite a bold one. And many of us will think soul. I know what that word means, I think, but uh, I'm not sure what it applies to work, uh, or life or me. Just gives a little bit of a journey of how you came to actually write the book and why.

Speaker B: Ah, ah, yes, um, I do believe that courage, by the way, is the most powerful force in our lives. And it is such, um, an honor to be able to talk about it with people, whether it's individuals or in teams, organizations, because I think the best things in life happen because of it. Um, and conversely, the biggest challenges we have in our lives are when we avoid it. So being able to write about it, talk about it, and most importantly to live it every single day, because I do, I have a courage practice which I'm happy to talk about. I think everybody should have one. After growing up very shy and being bullied for much of my young life, something happened to me. I was flying overseas and I had a panic attack on an airplane. And in the midst of all of that, I made a commitment to myself to do one thing every day that scared me for a year, and it changed my life. And I did it in all of these small little acts, which is, to me, the most revelatory part of what I did. It wasn't that I did something huge. It was these small little actions every day. And they transformed my life from being somebody who was shy to being somebody who chased fear, challenge, obstacle, worthiness for a life. And, uh, I sang in front of a restaurant one day to overcome a fear of singing. And, uh, Facebook post about it went viral. And, uh, that evening, I decided to create, um, a movement. And that movement became something called scare your soul. And it is a confusing, sometimes confounding title, because people are wondering, what does that mean, scare your soul? Um, and I think it's interesting. The most powerful statements in our lives sometimes mean different things to different people. To me, scare your soul means waking up that most elemental part of us and moving it into action. And, uh, it has become, um, a rallying cry. Um, I get emails almost every day from someone saying, I scared my soul this morning by dot, dot, dot. And that has kind of become part of the vernacular is. Oh, it's such. It's just a complete honor for me.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's big credit. Even though there's. You focus on the small moments, you know, the small acts of scaring yourself or doing a courageous act every day. And I'm a big fan of small moments is the topic of my own book that I'm writing literally right now. Well, I'm not writing and talking to you. That would be too clever and too rude. But, uh, uh, do you not still find it exhausting doing something like that every day? You know, you manage yourself.

Speaker B: That is probably the number one question that I get.

Speaker A: Um, sorry, that's very dull. Let me ask a different one. I don't want to be boring, but go on, answer it quickly before I become even more embarrassed.

Speaker B: I don't think it's dull or boring. I think actually it's incredibly relevant. And that's why I think it came to you. I think that the feeling that you get that we all get after we do something brave is the most energizing feeling in the world. It is this feeling of almost like liberation, of joy. Um, and it doesn't come from sitting on the couch and watching Netflix. It doesn't come from walking through our lives paying no attention and being unconscious, uh, with the life around us. When we step into moments that test us, whether it's planned or unplanned, I happen to choose the planned version more often if I can. I'm addicted to the feeling after that. I really am. That, to me, is the greatest addiction in the world. The feeling that I get after I do something brave is that's my go to. And it pumps me up. It gives me more energy to do other hard things. Um, and then there's this multiplier effect when you share that with other people, when you share, hey, listen, I. I scared my soul this morning. Uh, I had a hard conversation with somebody, or I've been putting off this, and I finally did it. That feeling, when you share it, you know, it impacts somebody else and the ripples start to happen. It's great.

Speaker A: How important is the nature of the scaring as opposed to the consistency of it?

Speaker B: Yeah, Um, I came to learn very early that we're all scared by different things. We all have our own set of innumerable experiences that we've had in our lives. Traumas, triggers, uh, uh, perspectives. We come from different backgrounds and cultures. Um, and what I began to learn was prescribing to other people what they do was a recipe for madness. But helping them through the process and helping their consistency, that felt really doable and measurable and repeatable. And that, I think, is where people go astray when they say, I'm going to be more courageous. I'm just going to use all this willpower. And I read this book that you need to do this, this and this, and then they do it and it doesn't affect their lives. It doesn't feel relevant or powerful. And then it drops off like a New Year's resolution. It's just too hard and it doesn't feel like they're making progress. So to me, the consistency is really a critical part of it. It's honestly like going to the gym or starting a running practice. I mean, you could do it once a month, but you're not going to see the results. What I prefer is actually focusing on how to get yourself to that moment, how to get yourself through that moment, and then how to celebrate that moment after it's been accomplished. And when we do that, we start to change the neural pathways. It's neuroplasticity in its classic form. We start to associate hard things with joy and of liberation and of freedom and accomplishment. And then you're on the road to dramatic, um, impacts in our love and creativity and innovation and all the things that we want in our lives.

Speaker A: So you may still feel the fear every time you do it in different shapes and form, but Actually, I guess you have confidence that you'll come out the other side in hopefully better shape.

Speaker B: Yes. And better shape is an interesting, um, concept to work with. And I'm going to throw out something to you for you to grapple with for a moment. When we set ourselves up for coming out the other side in better shape, it lends us to focusing on outcome. And I think if I could offer one piece of advice to you, it would be the following. Um, be brave despite the fear, and don't focus on the outcome. It's really the action, not the outcome, that makes all the difference.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: And I think, David, the things in our lives that sometimes end up being the most meaningful, the most life changing, are the outcomes we didn't want or expect. And so to try to manage those outcomes at the end of the day, to me, is limiting us from the joy of things going in a different direction, going sideways, going backwards. And to me, there's, uh, so much beauty and lyricism in doing brave things and not worrying about did it get me from point A to point B, but just doing them and then living our lives, following that journey and that path that. That arrives on the other side.

Speaker A: You're absolutely right to call me out on that. And, um, as soon as I said it, I realized it was a slip and a mistake and poor, because, um, when I have some relatively courageous calls that I'm either trying to make or I'm making at the moment, professionally and personally. And one of my limitations is it's not so much the outcome, but I go through different permutations, combination scenarios, as if I can dictate, as of now, exactly what will happen, and it just stops me acting. And it sort of is presumptive and implicitly arrogant. So, um, you're absolutely right to call me out. I'm just curious. You had, obviously, a big jolt, the panic attack on the flight, um, which jolted you into. Into this. There'll be some people listening to this, rightly or wrongly, who may be thinking, I hear you. I can see the benefits. It's very structured. Love the principles you're talking about, but life's okay. It's actually all right. I don't feel. I know other people have had crises, but that's not me. I'm doing okay. I might be privileged, but. It's an interesting concept, Scott, but no, thanks. What do you say to them?

Speaker B: I would say to them this. The best things in your life right now all began in a moment of fear. And I'll explain that if I asked you David. What. What are the best things? Give me. Give me a few things that you consider to be the most valuable things in your life right now.

Speaker A: You want me to answer?

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Yeah. So my. My son and what he's become is definitely right. Right up there. Um, I think making the transition to what I'm doing right now from a pretty big career. Those are two I'd call out immediately.

Speaker B: Both of those things required a sense of courage to m. Get you there. Right. They all began in a moment of uncertainty, of, um, uh, unsuredness. You didn't know what was going to happen when you took these leaps. When we have children, when we get married, when we're vulnerable with other people that we want to have deeper relationships with, when we share ideas for new businesses, all the things that we end up loving in our lives and find the most valuable all began in this moment of fear and uncertainty. Even if it was tiny, and sometimes it wasn't tiny, it was immense. Um, so when I think of your question, which is a great one, my life is fine. It is. I don't need to push myself. Why would I follow this guy's advice and do one thing every day that scares me? I don't need it. I would say to you that the things that make your life wonderful right now, you found in those moments of fear.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's a great frame.

Speaker B: And the more we can find them in a planned way, not being buffeted like a pinball machine back and forth. And I'm talking about in manageable ways, like a practice that allow us to step forward in ways that are meaningful and doable and to do them consistently and to share them with other people and to do them in a way of love and service. Those things that make your life great right now, your progress and relationship with your son, how incredibly well he has done and how you are supporting him and what you're doing professionally, the leaps you've taken, the risks you've taken, the chances you've taken without any assuredness that has given you this garden of love and growth and goodness. And you stepped into that moment. So I want more of those moments because I want to see where each one of them leads.

Speaker A: That's a great response. Poetic. I feel moved. M. I was so physically and emotionally moved by listening to it, and not just because the examples were mine. I mean, that's beautiful. So let's just continue the theme. Let's keep roll our sleeves up, as it were. And so, you know, you're talking with whether a team of people, a Leadership team, you're working with a community and they get it. And yet they're still, there's still an inertia, there's still that fear. Perhaps they haven't, uh, their muscles of their fear muscles to mix metaphors, have atrophied or they haven't used them for a long time. How do you put yourself in the best possible shape to tackle the fears and actually take that step day by day?

Speaker B: I really believe that everything begins with us. We can talk culture and we can talk leadership for the next several hours. But it all begins in my view, right here. How we are all acting in our own lives, how we feel about our own lives, how we role model our courage to other people. That to me leads to great leadership, to great culture, to great team. And I'll express it this way, when we start doing brave things in life, whether it's at home or in the workplace, it starts to affect everyone else around us.

Speaker A: Mhm.

Speaker B: And I think if David, you think of the people that were the greatest impacts to you in your business life, and I asked you what some of their attributes were, I think probably a sense of courage would be amongst the top M of all of them. Yeah, it's just literally one of the most powerful components to a great team and business experience. And so when we begin to first of all take the time to do things that scare us every single day and then share them with others, we start to set the bar higher for ourself and for our teams. M and I had a wonderful experience, uh, this past year working with uh, an NBA basketball team, uh, in the States, helping them connect with each other in a very, very brave way. It wasn't about skill for them, it was about relationships. Could they share their own stories with each other and do it in a vulnerable and trusting way? And once they did that, you started to see all of this other incredible impact happening. So I'm never a quick fix or top 10 list kind of a guy. I am a let's roll up our sleeves and do the work kind of guy. And so I really believe that when we set conditions for bravery and courage, we start practicing in ourselves and we share it with other people. It transforms organizations and I've seen it happen again and again and again. This isn't the vision statement on the wall in the workroom. This is the day to day. Hey, listen, I need to offer you some challenging feedback and this is really hard for me, but I have a courage practice and I really want to sit down with you and share with you this feedback, because I think it's going to make you better. And I want to get bolder and more courageous in my own life. So can we have 10 minutes together? That changes teams right there.

Speaker A: I love how you started rightly, uh, on, um, you know, about focusing on us as individuals, uh, and especially there are many of us, uh, even high performers. However you define high performance, which is often narrowly defined, but that's a topic for another day, who seek out and live their lives in terms of external recognition and validation. Now, I have to say, I think we all need a degree of it, but actually it's a big shock to do what you described because they haven't really looked inside themselves and actually asked those. Those inner questions. And perhaps because it's too uncomfortable, perhaps because there is some baggage in the past, perhaps because, uh, they just. Again, it's sort of easier to look outside and look for others, the answers. I guess one thing I was struck by in your work, amongst many, many things, is you talk about the power and the need for forgiveness as you go through this process, forgiving yourself. Tell us a little bit more about that and why it's important.

Speaker B: You know, I. When I talk about courage, the first myth, m I think that I have to break, is that it's all external work. I have to go out in the world and do this. M. And I think sometimes, and maybe this will resonate for you. Some of the most powerful courage work that I have done and that I help coach people through is the internal work. I'll give you two examples. One is, uh, the courage to take your foot off of the gas pedal and ask for help. Very, very hard for high performers.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: Right. When we think of courage, we think of, I'm going to go to this board meeting and I'm going to share this. But actually saying no, and giving ourselves time and giving ourselves care, um, and asking for help is an example of courage that feeds us, feeds our work and ourselves. The second is the one that you raised, and that is the issue of forgiveness. And I honestly, and I wrote this in the book. I believe this may be the ultimate act of courage. Um, because nobody's watching. There is no external validation. Um, and we are siphoning off when we do it this bizarre sense of energy that we get when we hold bitterness in our hearts. And if you've ever held a grudge or felt, um, avarice towards another person, it is a feeling of energy. It's a negative energy, but it makes us feel somehow powerful in our holding of that Emotion. And it's very hard to let go of. Um, it's very layered. And, um, we have people supporting us, saying, oh, you were wrong. That person is terrible. And so there's all of this negative energy that almost radiates from our center through our being. And people can hold that with them for decades.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: Uh, and it holds us back, in my view. There is a beautiful purity to forgiving somebody for something they did to wrong us. I have done it, Um, I have helped others work, uh, through that. And I have one hack that I'd like to offer, if you don't mind, please love it. And that is, um, when we think of forgiving, forgiving somebody else, we oftentimes think of, well, I have to call them, we have to get together, we have to sit down face to face. And I have to tell them that. And I counsel people actually that there's a real beauty in forgiving someone in your own heart without even interfacing with them. They're almost irrelevant at this point. The real work is here, it's not there. So what I counsel people on, what I wrote about in my book, what I work with, and we even deal with this in teams where there's conflict is, um, let's see how far it gets us to literally take the same time and effort and forgive that person in our hearts and then make the very informed judgment call. Do I even need to tell them?

Speaker A: That's very intentional. I love how intentional and clear that is. And that process that you described so eloquently, I guess, creates the capacity to take more risks, to be more courageous, to look for awe, find awe in your life, and again, just help the people who perhaps are leading an okay life. But, you know, sort, uh, of thinking, I know I need to take that courageous step. Yes, there's some fear, but I'm not sure what I want to try out. I've been playing in the middle lane for a long time. How do you warm them up? Help them turn up the volume, Try something new?

Speaker B: I'm going to offer a phrase that I think is really helpful. A friend of mine uses it and the phrase is successfully stuck, which I love. Yes, because it exactly describes the situation that we oftentimes find ourselves in where we are leading a, uh, very good life. And we work hard and we put ourselves through moments of fear and of discomfort to get there. We have started to benefit from the fruits of all of those risks. And then we get into this place where the golden handcuffs are on hm. The risks feel unnecessary and all Of a sudden, we're playing not to lose. And I feel like that is where so much of my work comes in when I'm dealing with high performers is not the fact that they've never been courageous. They've been in outstandingly courageous in their lives. They've just gotten to a part of their work life, their home life, their parenting life, where they're coasting and they feel trapped. And that, I think, is where the real work starts to happen.

Speaker A: Mhm.

Speaker B: And I'd love to share a quick anecdote with you. I sat down with somebody recently who was CEO of a major top five hospital system in the world. And in an earlier part of his career, he was a medic in Vietnam, flying around in helicopters, saving people's lives, putting his own life in danger. Then he became a top cardiologist. I believe he did 22,000 heart surgeries. He then took on the role of CEO of his healthcare institution. And he told me when we sat down that one of the most courageous things he ever did was to take on the big tobacco industry by getting, uh, tobacco off of the campus of the hospital. You couldn't buy cigarettes anywhere near the hospital and you could not be hired to work for this huge organization. I think 55,000 employees if you were a smoker. Mhm. He didn't need to do any of that. He had patents in his pocket. He had 22,000 heart surgeries. He had a distinguished military career. And yet in the moment when he could have just said, we're going to just continue to do what we do and be the best in the world at it, he took on the hardest things. And I think, um, well, I know in talking to him, he felt that his legacy very much was, uh, founded upon that decision. He could have remained successfully stuck. He could have just done what he was doing and ridden off into the sunset and had his bust in the hallway of the hospital. But he did the brave thing he didn't have to do. And it has, in my view, transformed his life and legacy since. And, uh, he remains to this day a vital and vibrant leader in healthcare, meeting with presidents and prime ministers and, um, doing the things that, um, he probably never thought that he could do as a dyslexic young man who was about ready to head to Vietnam.

Speaker A: What an inspirational, uplifting, um, story. And it was interesting you used the word vibrant there because people like him, who even despite of their success, carry on taking risks and doing what they think is the right thing, they do, come across as having more vitality vibrancy. They sort of are more alive, frankly, whether they are doing exactly the right things or whether they're successful in the moment. There's an energy, uh, to people, isn't there? I, um, want to make a segue to questions because a lot of this is about asking ourselves questions that perhaps we haven't asked for a long time. And I know that's the work you're doing at the moment, or, I don't know, quite the stage of your, your current book. But I want to give listeners a bit of a tease. Come on. A little bit of a sense of what are the hardest questions that we don't ask ourselves as we try to take courageous decisions.

Speaker B: Yes. So when I was growing up, there was one book that was the most treasured in my family, and it was this little four by six book called the Book of Questions. And you would open it up to any page. We would do it at our family dinners. Um, growing up, I didn't have a lot of friends, so family time was really important to me. And my mom would always bring the Book of Questions wherever we went. And she would open it up and the question would be something like the following. You walk into a coffee shop and you see someone across the coffee shop, and you know that if you say hello to them, you will fall deeply, deeply, madly in love with each other and have the most passionate love affair for six months, at which time they will be hit by a bus and killed. Do you say hello now? The answers you get from a question like that start in one place, and then they move here, and then they move here, and they move here and they move here. It's almost like peeling back an onion. Because when a great question is asked, it's not like there's one position or two positions. There all of a sudden are 12 positions, and you start to see things in yourself. And the guy who wrote it is a wonderful, brilliant, uh, gentleman named Greg Stock. He has become a dear friend of mine in later life, and we are working together on the sequel to that book. It's going to be called the Book of Questions. Courage. And each of the questions is going to be about courage. Um, it's the kind of thing I hope that people will be able to either sit and read themselves and go deep inside themselves, sit with a spouse or significant other or a child, or bring to a cocktail party or to a coffee shop and have conversations with people. Because Lord knows we are not having conversations these days the way we can and could. M and so I'd like to just offer up one that feels really powerful to me, one that he and I wrote together. And it is, what is one lie that you are telling yourself to keep yourself safe, but is really holding you back?

Speaker A: That's brilliant.

Speaker B: And you know, when I think of questions like that, you know, a lie that I tell myself is that success to me means other people, uh, telling me that I'm doing well, that you're making a difference. Like that's, that's a lie that I tell myself because it's tangible. I can see when I post something to LinkedIn how many people responded. And I know that if I speak in front of a group of people, how many people come up to me afterwards. It's either 20 or it's 0. I can measure that.

Speaker A: Sure.

Speaker B: What's harder for me is to realize I'm truly enough. Just being me, just expressing myself the way that I do and leading my life is enough. And so the lie that I have told myself and that I continue to tell myself is I need others validation to feel that I'm making progress and living out my life's purpose. And so when I share that with you, as I just have, you know something about me in a deep way. And I think great questions do that. And so I think the best questions that we ask are ones that go deep, that illuminate our truest selves, and that can be shared between people with different answers and different perspectives in a way that we're not disagreeing with each other, um, and thinking less of the other, but that we can fully listen to their answers and somehow find a shared truth between us.

Speaker A: The way you conveyed that question and your own challenge or challenge that you're working through, that's a radical perspective and a refreshing one around you, considering yourself enough. And you are, of course enough. I struggle with that myself, which is who? What am I trying to Prove? I'm nearly 52, being very successful in a narrow lens. Less successful than others, perhaps. It's like, what's the hunger and what's the reason for doing it? I do believe some form of external validation informs where we focus and what impact we have, but it's how much. And I think often many of us, including myself, tilt too much in one direction, which is, you know, seeking the validation of others to guide exactly what we do and our self worth. So I applaud you for calling that out. I'm going to flip the script now and, and make a courageous step on using some questions that are not as insightful or incisive as the ones you just described in a slightly light hearted moment of a quick fire round. So forgive the questions. This is the opposite listeners to what you've just heard Scott say in a beautiful question. So, uh, two answers. There's only two that you have to pick one. And of course there's some ambiguity that I've consciously included. So when you feel fear in whatever context, what helps you the most? Is it reflection, thinking about it or is it action?

Speaker B: And I have to choose one. Is that my, is that the paradigm you've set up for me? Uh, if I have to choose one, it's action. I really do believe that action is the antidote.

Speaker A: And when you are looking to develop and grow yourself, have that sense of awe, live vibrantly. What are you actually leaving into? Is it lots of feelings of discomfort or is it just consistency?

Speaker B: I seek discomfort.

Speaker A: When, when you're having the conversations like the one you just described, what do you look for? Is it. And what do you, if you like focus on? Is it kindness to the person or is it candor?

Speaker B: It's kindness.

Speaker A: Mhm. And when you're, when things or life or work feels really difficult, you're not making progress on the way you want, what, what helps you the most to unlock it? Is it a sense of purpose or energy?

Speaker B: Oh, it's energy.

Speaker A: And the last one. I appreciate your good humor as I go through these crass questions, but it's a little bit of fun just to change the mood and start. So when you're, when you are leading a life, bravery and courage, you're scaring your soul. What do you look for first? Is it. And what do you protect the most? Is it your connection with yourself and others or is it the boundaries you put on yourself?

Speaker B: It's connection with others in the mode of service. I think the um, one of the most important aspects of courage that we oftentimes forget is that it's not about an adrenaline rush. It's not about checking a box. It's about acting in service. And uh, let me explain. Somebody asked me recently, she was about ready to speak in front of a very large audience. Um, she's a nurse leader and she said, could you give me some tips? I'm feeling incredibly nervous about getting in front of all of these people. I don't know what's going to happen. Um, and my courage is at a low ebb. And I thought about it and I asked her a few questions and I said, do you really feel like your message is valuable to them? And she said yes. I do. And I said, do you think that there is at least one person in the audience who needs to hear what you have to say? She said, yeah. I said, your speech is about that person. It's not about you. Yes, it's going to take courage to get up there and get behind the microphone. But in doing so, in getting yourself through that moment of discomfort and standing there with a huge spotlight on you, you are, in essence, acting in service to that person in the audience. And all of a sudden, I could literally see her shoulders kind of dropped.

Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker B: All of this sense that we have, David, that, you know, everybody's looking, everybody's noticing, everybody's seeing what I'm doing. They're going to see my failures, they're going to see me looking. Uh, they're gonna. I'm gonna be embarrassed. 98% of it will go by without anybody noticing. The only person that's noticing is the hero of your own story, and that's you.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: There was a great study that was done a number of years ago where researchers, uh, asked people at the beginning of a year, please enumerate the fears that you have going into this year. What are literally the most present fears that you have about what's going to happen in. In the upcoming year? And then they circled back to them a year later. 85% of those things never happened. They were all up here. Projections, thoughts, you know, the things that we do as humans. Right. So 85% of the things that we're afraid of are never going to happen. And I would submit to you that if we can get rid of the attachment to outcome, we can handle the balance. The last time you and I were to talk, uh, my mom had a seizure in her brain, and we had to put off the conversation until today. And I stood by her bedside and I held her hand when the medics brought in the crash cart and people were putting IVs frantically into her arms. And to me, the most courageous thing that I could do at that moment was to stay present and to stay in love and to hold her hand and to be there. And I didn't plan it. I wasn't expecting to be in the emergency room that day, but courage for me was about standing there holding her hand. And because I lead my life doing scary things every single day on purpose, I can stand in those moments, those moments that we all have, whether we want to have them or not, they are going to happen. And in that moment, I felt so present and so loving and so there for her. And I could see it in the eyes of my dad, who was on the other side of the bed, and my two siblings, who were down at the end of the bed. And it made a difference. I know it did. And so my courage, practice allows me to do the things in life that are the most meaningful. And when we frame it in an act of service, that I'm not just doing these things to better my own life, I'm doing them to better other people's lives and to show other people that, yes, we can do the hard things for each other, for our communities, for the world. Now, we're talking about a purpose that drives us. And if you add that level of consistency to it, you build the muscle. That, my friend, I think, is the recipe for a vibrant life.

Speaker A: Hear, hear. Hear, hear. Gosh, I admire your. The foundations you've built in yourself and the strength you have and the intentionality of being so present in a moment, which is obviously a very, very upsetting moment, to be there to, uh, offer your hand, uh, and to, if you like, steady those around you. Uh, I want to, as we move to the end of this conversation, just delve a little bit more into you. And I always ask my guests two things. Um, two things to begin with. The first one is, you know, and you perhaps covered so many different aspects of your capabilities and mindset, you'll have to choose one. What is your biggest superpower, Scott?

Speaker B: Connecting other people to what will lead to a vibrant life.

Speaker A: And your biggest weakness?

Speaker B: My need to prove

Speaker A: you may have touched on this, if you'd like, philosophically, at a higher level. What is the impact you're looking to have on the world around you?

Speaker B: Yeah, um, the year that I spent after that panic attack on that flight taught me so much experientially about how to lead a vibrant life. And later in life, I circled back around to the academic side of it. I ended up meeting a wonderful professor at Harvard, uh, who taught positive psychology and ended up getting a degree with him. And I've studied with wonderful people at Stanford and other great institutions, and all of them, in all of their academic rigor, were just proving what I had learned experientially that year. And that was, if we create a practice of courage in our lives, if courage becomes just as important as a meditation practice or a running practice or a diet or all of the other things that we all place in our lives as ways to make ourselves better, if we choose courage that opens up doors that, um, lead to unknown riches in our lives. And I really do Believe that, you know, if, if you believe we only have one go around on this earth, um, there is no time to waste and we um, we only have to look at the seasons passing. It's now springtime where I am in the, in the United States and it was just winter and I remember the leaves dropping in fall. Time is passing. I don't want to waste a day. And to me not wasting a day means being present, being brave, doing the hard things, loving, serving. And at the root of all of that is courage.

Speaker A: So let's just build on that in my final question, which is when you're having your best day, everything's flowing, you doing your best work, being your best self. Perhaps you've given us the answer already in terms of your courage practice. So perhaps you need to give us a little bit more of uh, an insight about what that practically means. But what helps you have your best day?

Speaker B: Hm, That's a wonderful question. There's one thing that really helps me, and it is a question that was originally developed by Marshall Goldsmith, one of the greatest coaches in the history of the world. And it's a single question. What would your 95 year old self tell you to do right now? And I think inside of each one of us there is this well of tremendous wisdom and we don't oftentimes trust ourselves that we have it. And this goes, comes to play in courage work as it does in relationships and in awe, uh, and joy and all of the other things that make our lives wonderful. But when I find myself living my best day, it's me living the life that my 95 year old self is telling me. This is it, do it.

Speaker A: Beautiful. Yes, gosh, I am. My head is spinning, my heart is singing. This has been a substantive, important, very practical, very, very practical and deep conversation about vibrant living because we haven't got time to waste. Uh, we put barriers up in our minds, our hearts, in the context we're in, the structures we set up and it's like, why waste it? Why not every day try something courageous, tackle your fears, keep doing it, make it a practice and see what happens. Don't be too outcome led as you've counseled us. What a brilliant conversation, Scott. I know many people will go off and if they haven't already, how dare they buy your current book and put themselves on the pre, uh, the order list for your next book and no doubt want to seek you out for support and so forth. Where can they find you online if they want to do that?

Speaker B: Sure, it's very easy it's ScottSimon us. Um, and that will give you the full range of everything that I do. You can sign up. We put out weekly challenges for free. You can sign up for those if you're interested in a courage practice. Each and every week, I share very vulnerable aspects of my own life. I share stories of members of our Scare youe Soul community. And yes, of course, you'll hear about the upcoming book with Greg Stock. Um, and, uh, I'd love to hear from anybody who feels like they want to get just a little bit more courageous in their lives.

Speaker A: Thank you for your time, your wisdom, your tips, and for everything. And for you. Thank you, Scott.

Speaker B: David, thank you.

Speaker A: What a great conversation with Scott. Some of us might be thinking that scaring our soul, being more courageous, is that sort of indulgent practice for the privileged, perhaps irrelevant to some of us. We don't need to do it. I think what Scott has convinced us of is, what a waste. What a waste of a more vibrant life. Why shouldn't we take more courageous decisions every single day using our courageous practice? Why shouldn't we be in awe of what we might become without being too focused on the outcomes that might come from it? Actually, it's the action of doing it, being consistent, learning from our experiences and trying things out, that it actually is the most liberating. And in order to do that, you have to create the capacity in yourself to do that. And it starts with you, us as individuals. We might blame the context, our background, our origins, our family, our work. There may be some truth in that, but actually it starts with us taking a hard look at ourselves, asking difficult questions. He gave us one brilliant question to ask about lies and, uh, actually just doing the work. It's a very intentional act. It's a strategic act. It's about choice that we make about how to lead our lives. So I guess the challenge I'd, uh, ask you is when will you start your courageous practice? Where will you start tackling your fears? When will you start becoming unstuck, even if you're successful? It's worth a go, isn't it? I'm certainly going to be looking at my own life at work and in life at large with a new lens. With more encouragement and some new tips from this conversation, I hope you do, too. That was Lancefield on the line. I do hope you enjoyed it. Please do reach out to me@, uh, davidlarncefield.com you can direct message me on LinkedIn or reach out to me in any other shape and form on other social platforms. I'd love to hear your feedback on this episode and what else you'd like to hear about and any other source of inspiration and feedback you can give. I love the engagement, but for now, thanks for listening.