The Interview Series: Conor O’Leary, Director of Operations, Purple House Cancer Support Centre

You're very welcome to HR HQ, the interview series. I'm Andrea Hayes. And in today's episode, we're addressing one of the most sensitive but very important workplace topics, how employers respond when an employee shares a cancer diagnosis. Today, I'm joined by Conor O'Leary, psychotherapist and director of operations at Purple House Cancer Support Centre.

Conor, you're so welcome. Thank you, Andrea. Delighted to be here. We might just start with you giving a little background to Purple House Cancer Support Centre before we kind of discuss how employers can respond with compassion, with clarity and confidence when an employee shares that diagnosis, because it's such a sensitive issue.

Yes, well, Purple House Cancer Support was founded back in 1990, so 36 years ago this year. And it was founded actually from my own family's experience of cancer. So my parents, Brendan and Veronica, my mother had cancer when we were quite young. And at that time in Ireland, so this is the 80s, there was very little support outside of the medical environment for cancer patients and their families.

So the medical care was well looked after. But when people had finished their treatment or on their treatment journey, they were left really with all of those emotions, you know, and all of those fears and worries and concerns. And there was no one to really help them with that. So that was quite an isolating and difficult, I suppose, time for us as a family.

And, you know, I remember, you know, you know, being in school and just being numb, you know, because such was the, I suppose, the traumatic effect of my mother's cancer on me, you know, and there really just wasn't that level of awareness, you know, at that time. So thankfully, my mother recovered and herself and my dad sat down and said, look, there needs to be something more for families living with cancer in Ireland. That was the, I suppose, the spark really then that founded Purple House, which was Ireland's first community-based cancer support centre back in 1990.

And it was really tapping into an unmet need. You know, for us as a family, we felt we were the only ones, you know, feeling this way and, you know, the only ones, let's say, you know, living with cancer. Of course, you know, we knew that wasn't the case. So when we started putting the word out on local radio, other families started to come forward and say, yeah, actually, we're in the same boat, you know.

So that was really the start of that support network. And I suppose we have to remember at the time in Ireland, you know, treatments were not as advanced as they are today. So, you know, when somebody had cancer back then, you know, it really was quite a serious illness and the survival rates were quite low. So there was all of that around as well, you know, that I suppose unspoken fears and concerns as well.

But fast forward, I suppose, now to, you know, 2026. And there are more people living with cancer in Ireland today now than ever before. There's over 220,000 people living with cancer. And that is really down to, I suppose, the advances in treatments.

But then also, I suppose, the level of awareness, earlier diagnosis and more targeted treatment. And then, of course, the research as well. And, you know, we're getting more advanced in how we detect cancer and how we treat cancer. So all of those things now are leading to more people living with cancer.

But when there's more people living with an illness, then there's, I suppose, a different set of support services needed. And I suppose that's where Cancer Care at Work came in, you know, adapting to the needs of the demographic now today in Ireland. And it's so important that we normalize these conversations because, as you said, so many people are being diagnosed every day. Somebody is getting that news right now.

And as an employee, if you're sharing that news with your employer, how can the employer respond and make sure that they are being compassionate, supportive and, you know, with the right sort of attitude in supporting their employee? Yeah, so it's really just about, you know, that human to human communication, you know, what do you need? How can I help, you know? And it's about asking the person exactly what they need, you know, because we may feel that something may help, you know, but it actually may be not what the person needs.

So it's it's and it's also about not being afraid to say the wrong thing, you know, because nobody is an expert in this, you know, but it's it's once we have that human, I suppose, empathy and level of communication. I think that will always win through, you know, the subject matter, you know. So once the person feels supported, so I think the two things there are not to be afraid of saying the wrong thing and maybe ask the person, you know, how would you like me to communicate with you, you know, or even disclose at the start, look, I might say the wrong thing.

Please correct me. You know, we're navigating this together, you know, and for this to happen, I suppose we need to, I suppose, take down the ego, you know, take down maybe the roles that we have in the organization as well. So you know there may be a manager talking to an employee you know but you know if during these conversations maybe that hat could be lowered a little bit you know still being the manager and HR professional in it But just to meet the person where they're at on the human level, I think is the most important thing.

And I think there's some incredible research that I know you've undertaken in Purple House that really indicates that sometimes those policies just aren't in place. And there's a real shift at the moment because people are getting diagnosed with cancer, but living and thriving with cancer. So there needs to be a change in how we approach this, both in society, but also importantly in the workplace. That's right.

The research we carried out with CORE showed us some very, I suppose, interesting results. And one of them being was that 88% of Irish people believe that having a set policy in place is important, but actually only one in five companies had a policy in place. and the other thing we found was that seven out of ten people believed that disclosing a cancer diagnosis to their employer would negatively impact their career progression and these were things that I suppose worried us a little bit you know in terms of you know because it leads then to other behaviors maybe in terms of the employee not disclosing their cancer diagnosis and I spoke to a gentleman only last week who said that he is using his annual leave to attend his cancer treatment appointments because he felt that the culture just wasn't there to support him within the workplace.

But what we found from HR professionals that we spoke to and companies in general, that there is a willingness there to support the employee, but they just maybe don't have the tools to do that, you know. So cancer care at work is designed to give those tools to people, you know, to enable them to maybe feel more confident in having those difficult conversations. And from your wisdom, working in Purple House, also as a psychotherapist, and then looking at the research, what kind of structures or policies should be in place to support employees during treatment?

Well, what we've done, we've developed four policies. And it's important to note that employers may have these things already in place, but they may be labelled something else, or they may be within another policy. So we've developed four pillars, let's say, you know, that of support that we feel will help cancer patients in the workplace. And one is an emotional pillar.

And that's looking after all of the emotional needs of the employee. And that's things like having a communication agreement in place. You know, how do you want us to communicate with you? You know, a person may have, you know, a high level of email traffic, you know.

Do they need that reduced? Do they need that shared by another team member? How often do you want us to check in with you, you know, so if you're off work for a period of time. Many cancer patients feel then that they may be ghosted, you know, by the organization because the organization maybe feels, okay, that's the right thing to do that, you know, when the person is receiving their treatment, maybe we won't disturb them, we won't contact them.

But actually what we found is that cancer patients actually would appreciate maybe a little check-in, so they still feel part of the team. And again, this is with the communication agreement, it's about really asking the employee, you know, what would work best for them, you know, rather than assuming that, OK, we'll do this, that and the other. But that may be not what the person needs. And also then in the emotional pillar, it's counselling support, you know, through organisations like Purple House or others, you know, daily living support.

And these are all things that maybe a company can afford to do, or they may be able to do one or two things, you know, for the employee. So it's cancer care at work is very much, you know, it's a pick list really of what would suit the particular company. And another important aspect is that gradual return to work, you know, so in terms of, so a cancer patient may have been given the all clear, you know, and they've been told okay the cancer is gone and go out and live your life but there could be also hidden I suppose issues there that only come to the fore after you know treatment is finished and after that you know all clear period has been given and there are things like fatigue you know which is very invisible you know that energy levels may be very low that the person may may need to take more breaks, you know, more time out just to manage that fatigue.

And also as well, not to underestimate the psychological impact, you know. So, you know, when a person is on their cancer treatment, you know, they're hitting milestones, they're hitting goals, you know, and then, you know, hopefully they're getting the all clear. But then when all that is finished and all that support is gone essentially you know i suppose that the reality of the traumatic period maybe over the last whatever you know period of time can only hit you know when everything is finished and that's where we find a lot of people access purple house you know they they say well i been given the all clear they telling me i should go out and live my life and I should be delighted you know but actually I feel I feel lost I feel you know I feel at sea I don't feel I can cope, you know, and really that is, I suppose, the results of, you know, the impact, the traumatic impact of the treatment and the diagnosis.

So it's important just to have some, I suppose, you know, awareness really of that. And even just listening to your four pillars, it's so important that you are agile and you're collaborating with the employee as their needs change over the course of the journey, because you've got treatment, then beyond the treatment, which sounds really important. You're exactly right. You know, so things can change all the time.

And that's where the communication agreement is so important, you know, that, you know, OK, the agreement that may be, you know, agreed between the two parties that diagnosis may have to change, you know, at some point. So you're exactly right. This needs to be, you know, a fluid process, you know, and ability to change, you know, and also as well with our work at Cancer Care at work, we and this is just phase one. So we will be looking, you know, as we as we develop and meet more companies, we're already getting great feedback from companies, you know, from their employee basis.

And so we're going to implement that, you know, so the cancer care work will change as well, you know, as as as we learn more as we go through this process. And then the physical side, Andrea, is, you know, things like flexible working arrangements, you know. So, you know, if a person's desk was up on the fourth floor, for example, you know, and they may, you know, not have the energy for, you know, going up, you know, flights of stairs or lifts or whatever, you know. So there may need to be some flexibility there about, OK, do they need to be in the office, you know, or can there be some arrangement to come to about that?

You know, occupational health support and workplace adjustments is another important factor there as well. Then rehabilitation and nutrition. So at Purple House, we have a cancer rehabilitation service and a physiotherapist there working with cancer patients to help with the physical aspects, you know, of a cancer diagnosis. And then also we're developing in Purple House a state of the art nutritional kitchen where we would be providing nutritional support to cancer patients, you know, and there'd be a hands on cooking demonstrations and other supports there about, you know, healthy eating, you know.

So these are all important factors that can be incorporated in the workplace. Then we have the education and awareness piece, you know. So, you know, every day is a school day, you know. And particularly when it comes to cancer, you know, because we all may not have personal experience of cancer, you know, so it's about that openness to learn and to to be curious maybe about, OK, what is it like for a cancer patient?

And maybe how can I help? You know, so that could be things like having a wellness ambassador in the workplace, you know, having an advocate, you know, some companies we're working with, you know, they have an employee who's had cancer. And they are an advocate now and there to support other employees maybe who are traveling that road. And the people manager training that we have developed with Cancer Care at Work, that's very important.

You know, we're encouraging companies to sign up their managers to take part in that training, which will give them a CPD certificate. certificate and, you know, just ensure that they are fully equipped and up to speed with the latest, you know, HR legislation around this area as well. And then workshops and lunch and learn sessions, you know, so what we're finding, we're going into companies when they're launching their cancer care work policies and they're asking us to be part of that launch.

So that's a really nice way to, for a company to show how they're supporting their employees. And then the final pillar, Andrea is financial. And so this, again, depends on the type of company and whether there's budgets in place, you know, so it could be gym membership, you know, that you may offer to the cancer patient, you know, it could be income protection and could be transportation, you know, they may need, you know, a taxi, you know, to and from work for a certain period or something like that.

Health insurance, some companies do provide that for their employees and also then financial guidance as well. You know, I know with our case, you know, when my mother had cancer, my dad had to continue working, you know, because the mortgage had to be paid. But what if that was the main breadwinner, you know, you know, that couldn't work as a result of their cancer diagnosis? So what supports are out there?

You know, it's about getting that guidance. You know, do I need to talk to the bank? Do I need to maybe put a pause on the mortgage for a little bit? You know, having all of those supports and those conversations are so, so important.

And it's so, as you're talking, Connor, I'm just thinking that unless you've walked that path, you wouldn't necessarily know all these various things. And to train and support HR managers who are probably feeling a little bit unsure, even just the communication, you know, what do they want the wider team to know? How do I navigate privacy it just having that clarity and that communication from the beginning as well as that wraparound support so it great to hear that you so many initiatives even like the lunch and learn and just supporting people because nobody knows the right way to do this having somebody like purple house cancer support there kind of leading you along the path is really what is really good because as you said i think each person will have different needs and different requirements It's not one shoe or one size fits all.

No, you're exactly right. You know, and it's just having that, I suppose, openness, you know, to say, how can I support you? You know, what do you need? And it will be different for everyone, you know.

And it's just that willingness to maybe, OK, to support the person because they will be there with you, you know, through thick and thin, you know, if they know you're there with them, you know. And I think it's so important that we, you know, recognize, I suppose, that the value, I suppose, of people, you know, and this can be a short period in their long working life, you know. So I think we need to look at it from that angle. And from your wisdom, is there one common mistake that employers often make, particularly in the early stages?

Or are you hearing stories from people that you kind of hear the same thing over and over again? if you could give a little bit of advice around. Yeah, one thing we hear is that ghosting, you know, that person is not contacted at all from the company, you know. And I think it's, I don't think it's deliberate.

I think it's maybe well-intentioned, but perhaps it's just not the right thing that the person needs, you know. So just having those little check-ins, you know, just how are you getting on, you know. So not using a corporate language around it, you know, just, you know, how are you getting on? Do you need anything from us?

We're thinking of you. Or sending a little card, you know, from the team. Things like that, you know, are so important. Because what we're finding is happening is people, I suppose, don't want to burden the person with work.

For many of us, work is, you know, we spend a lot of time at work, you know. So work is a big part of our lives. And for that to be suddenly cut as well with, you know, the changes that the person is going through as a result of cancer, it's just another thing maybe that, you know, doesn't need to be severed, you know. So I think just, you know, how would you treat a friend in this situation?

I think it's having that hat, you know, sending a little card, little message, little text. We're thinking of you, you know, we miss you, or here's what happened this week in work or something like that, you know. And again, you know, it's about, you know, asking as well the employee, you know, would you be okay with that? You know, happy with that.

But what we find, yeah, we found that most just felt the lack of contact added to the isolation, you know. And it's something that is simply rectified, you know. Absolutely. And what simple step could an organisation take tomorrow to be better prepared?

If somebody's listening in and maybe there's more practical guidance and resources that you can offer, What's your final words of wisdom? Well, yeah, we'd encourage them to go to cancercareatwork.com and hit the sign up button. So what we're trying to do is we're trying to create a whole community and a movement across Ireland with this to ensure that no cancer patient across Ireland does not have access to this type of support.

So we're trying to reach every single employer, big and small across the country, to ensure that, you know, they have something in place. So we'd encourage anyone listening, go to cancercareatwork.com, hit the sign up button, your details, and we'll be in touch. And we're there to support you.

We'll guide you through this. You can answer any questions you have, any advice you need about a current situation, maybe. So we want this to really reach everyone, because the isolation is so real for many people. So we just want to ensure that this conversation is out in the open.

And it's something that affects us all. If we're not diagnosed with cancer ourselves, we know a loved one that is. So you could even be supporting somebody in work who hasn't got cancer themselves, but maybe somebody in their family very close to them does as well. Yes.

I'm glad you mentioned that because, yes, because the statistic is that the one in two of us will be impacted by a cancer diagnosis. So that's, you know, half the population, you know. So what, you know, and it could be a family member, you know, who's who's really struggling. you know, needs to keep, you know, I'm thinking of my own father, you know, he needed to continue going to work to pay the mortgage, you know, to ensure that, you know, the household kept going, you know, and what it would have meant to him to have that level of support from his employer, you know, would have been so helpful as well.

So yeah, it's about, you know, reaching the wider networks and colleagues as well and friends as well, you know, doesn't have to be relation, you know, because it can impact us all, you know, particularly if we have a particular close relationship with a certain person, you know, it can really impact us, you know. It's such an important conversation and I would really advise everybody to go to www.cancercareatwork.com or they can go to Purple House Cancer Support Centre.

But Conor O'Leary, psychotherapist and director of operations at Purple House, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us today. Thank you, Andrea. It was my pleasure.