HR Director's Cut · 2024-05-03 · 43 min
Key moments - from our scoring
Substance score
15 / 100
Five dimensions, 20 points each
This is Lisa Murphy's final episode as a co-host, and the team marks the occasion with a deliberately casual, alcohol-fueled episode focusing on real HR horror stories sourced from the internet. The hosts - Victoria Bond (10Space), Lisa Murphy (Limelight HR and Learning), and Kate Madison Greenwell (People Efficient) - share personal anecdotes of workplace language mishaps before diving into crowd-sourced incidents including paramedic bathroom emergencies, inappropriate parking lot incidents, office cupboard activities, accidental reply-alls, and workplace relationship complications. While the tone is decidedly irreverent and comedic rather than advisory, the episode touches on real HR investigation scenarios, communication failures, and workplace conduct issues that practitioners encounter. The hosts use humor to process genuine employment relations challenges, offering occasional tactical insights about how they'd handle investigations and documentation while maintaining workplace credibility and professionalism in absurd situations.
HR must document timing and conduct through available evidence like CCTV footage, interview both parties separately, review any prior disclosures to HR, and determine whether policy violations or management conflicts of interest exist that require remediation or disciplinary action.
The email recall feature only notifies recipients of the sender's mistake, making it impossible to prevent circulation; HR should advise the sender to send a clarifying follow-up and assess whether the content warrants further investigation or disciplinary action depending on severity and context.
If an employee announces resignation prematurely (via accidental email or direct statement), HR should work with the employee to minimize disruption, document their willingness to work notice, and accelerate succession planning and team communication rather than penalizing the early disclosure.
When CCTV quality is poor or cameras are absent, investigators assess timing of incidents, employee statements about their location and activities, corroborating witness accounts, and behavioral observations like whether employees appear rushed or flustered after alleged incidents.
Common HR investigation types include accidental message circulation, workplace relationships and affairs, bathroom/hygiene incidents, workplace injuries, and inappropriate use of company equipment - situations that most practitioners encounter regardless of industry or company size.
Our reviewer’s read on each dimension, with quotes from the episode.
This is an explicitly recreational, booze-fuelled farewell episode consisting almost entirely of internet-sourced HR horror stories, personal anecdotes about saying wrong words, and social banter. The only faint proximity to professional insight is a passing admission that small business cash flow is hard, with zero development or depth.
there's some months where it's difficult to pay salaries. That's just how it is when you have a growing small business
When you start your career in hr, I feel like somebody should give you a bingo card. And every time that you come across like one of these stereotypical HR things that you have to deal with, you have a stamp
No original frameworks, no contrarian arguments, no first-principles thinking of any kind. The episode is entirely recycled Reddit/internet anecdotes retold for laughs, with zero intellectual novelty for a B2B operator.
in prep for this episode, we have gone down a rabbit hole of HR horror stories from the Internet. And, um, what we thought that we would do is read out the horror stories from the Internet and, um, laugh at their expense
she stuck her bare bottom out the window and just went for it
All three participants are genuine founder-CEOs of small HR consultancies and appear to have real practitioner experience handling employee relations cases. However, the transcript reveals none of that expertise - their businesses are small enough that salary payment is occasionally difficult, and nothing at scale is evidenced.
Hi, I'm Victoria Bond, founder and CEO of 10Space. We're experts in employee engagement and experience, focusing on anonymous employee feedback to build performance and retention
Hi, I'm Lisa Murphy, CEO, uh, of Limelight HR and Learning
Specifics present are exclusively social (a £20 glass of Whispering Angel, Jaeger bombs on a Saturday night) or unverifiable internet anecdotes. There are no named companies, metrics, timelines, or data points of any professional relevance to a B2B operator.
One glass of wine, £20
I had to poop in a garbage can in the back of my ambulance. I'm a paramedic
There is no interviewing craft whatsoever - the episode is a group of friends drinking and swapping funny stories. The closest thing to a challenging question is a mock-confrontational farewell prompt, and there are no follow-ups, no pushback, and no substantive lines of inquiry throughout.
Now that we have, like, had a few drinks, what's the real reason you leaving, Lisa?
if crassness and swearing and drinking culture is not for you, this is not the episode for you
Computed from the transcript - who did the talking, and the words that came up most.
Welcome to the Season 4 finale of HR Director's Cut! Today you join us for HR Half-Cut - where we grab a drink, reminisce and share our craziest stories. Content warning: this episode contains swearing, drinking and mentions of sex. When you catch your manager & district manager in the act... with your HR rep watching... We ask the question: How does a professional relationship become not so professional? Amidst the chaos, we have moments of heartfelt reflection as Lisa prepares to bid farewell to HR Director's Cut. We are lucky to have been joined by Lisa for 48 episodes, countless laughs and many answered letters. We wish her the best and are excited to see what she gets up to! Don't think we've let her go easy - look out for Lisa in future episodes of HRDC as a guest To celebrate Lisa's final episode, we invite you to take a listen to her favourite episode of the podcast The One Where International Women's Day Sucks . We share our funny work stories: Kate once called her boss an inappropriate name, thinking it meant 'idiot' - what could the word have been? At a CIPD meeting, a young boy hijacked the presentation with some.... interesting drawings.
Transcribed and scored by The B2B Podcast Index.
Speaker A: Now that we have, like, had a few drinks, what's the real reason you leaving, Lisa?
Speaker B: Oh, uh, I just.
Speaker C: I just hate you both. You're the most awful people.
Speaker D: Welcome to HR Director's Cut, the podcast, where we give our insight into your dilemmas, conundrums and questions. We're here to give options, insights and guidance through sharing what works, what we've tried and failed at, and having some fun along the way. Expect controversy, disagreements and opposing viewpoints as we delve into the real life scenarios that you send in each week. Think less tea and tissue, more strategy and wine.
Speaker E: Hi, I'm Victoria Bond, founder and CEO of 10Space. We're experts in employee engagement and experience, focusing on anonymous employee feedback to build performance and retention.
Speaker C: Hi, I'm Lisa Murphy, CEO, uh, of Limelight HR and Learning. We're a values led, commercial and creative HR and learning solutions provider with a passion to help clients build amazing workplaces.
Speaker D: Hi, I'm Kate Madison Greenwell, Founder and CEO of People Efficient. We're specialists in supporting rapidly growing businesses with people centric strategies, unique employee experiences, digital transformations, and leading HR projects with an agile mindset and frameworks. Let's get stuck in.
Speaker C: Hello.
Speaker B: Welcome to a very special episode of HR Directors course.
Speaker C: Hello.
Speaker A: I've been waiting for this episode for about two years.
Speaker C: Me too.
Speaker A: Years I've been waiting for this episode.
Speaker B: Yeah, so this, this one has been renamed HR Directors Half Court. Should we explain the concept?
Speaker C: Yes, I think it follows on really nicely from the one that we did on alcohol awareness as well. Just saying.
Speaker B: Oh, doesn't it, Josh? So I think before we get stuck in, I think there's some warnings around, um, if crassness and swearing and drinking culture is not for you, this is not the episode for you. That's absolutely fine. We won't take offence.
Speaker A: And normally I keep pewter in line when it comes to sweat, but I am off duty tonight.
Speaker B: Lisa, would you like to explain why it's such a special episode?
Speaker C: Oh, throw me in the hotspot. Yes, it's a special episode because it's my last one.
Speaker A: You finally took the hint, Vic.
Speaker C: I finally took the hint.
Speaker A: You've agreed your exit terms.
Speaker C: I've got an agreed reference that says I was rubbish. No, you haven't kicked me off. Let's just clarify. You haven't kicked me off. I'm just, I'm just so, so busy with so many things at the moment and this is my favorite thing to do. But other things have just had to take priority, which is horrible because I'VE loved it and I love you both. That's what business life is like. You just have to prioritize sometimes.
Speaker A: You've made the right decision, you've done the right thing. You've got to look after your business and you've got to, uh, you know, look after your employees.
Speaker C: You know, I've got to focus on bringing the business in and doing things that are going to pay their salaries because, you know, there's some months where it's difficult to pay salaries. That's just how it is when you have a growing small business and, you know, you have to think of what the things that, ah, you know, I can lose and the things that I can focus on to, you know, make that a bit easier, which is horrible. But it's what you have to do.
Speaker A: When she told us, we were sad.
Speaker C: I know we had a bit of
Speaker B: sulking for a while and then we were like, right, let's do the episode that we've been talking about for about two years. I think it's fair to say that with no idea where this episode is going, wine and other alcoholic beverages, um, have been deployed. And, um, in prep for this episode, we have gone down a rabbit hole of HR horror stories from the Internet. And, um, what we thought that we would do is read out the horror stories from the Internet and, um, laugh at their expense. In terms of. We're so glad that that didn't happen to us whilst drinking wine.
Speaker C: We can maybe say what we'd have done as HR in that situation. Just to keep it slightly on theme, maybe.
Speaker B: It depends how many glasses of wine I've had. I might. I might throw in the odd bit of advice. We'll see where we get to.
Speaker C: And can I just say to the person that wrote in and the review and said that we laugh too much and it's really annoying. We're all having a competition. This is not the episode for you.
Speaker A: I think Lisha should have, uh, the prestige of kicking us off.
Speaker C: Okay, I'm going to start off with this one. This one's m. Fairly gentle, I think. I was at a customer site with a bunch of their managers, and I kept saying that we would keep our, uh, drawings in the suppository. I must have said it five times before this girl finally started chuckling and I realized that I was not saying repository.
Speaker B: Then I inadvertently said it again.
Speaker C: I feel like Hate's got a story about having said the wrong word quite a lot. I'm sure she's told us this before.
Speaker A: I say the wrong Word.
Speaker B: Word.
Speaker A: Uh, a lot. And I'm very precious about this because I read a lot, so I don't always hear the words. Things like hyperbole and hyperbole and all of that kind of stuff. But the. The story that springs to mind. And I don't know whether I have told you guys or not. If I have, then just act surprise. It's fine. I remember when I was a bit younger that I said a word to my boss, thinking that it meant something completely different. So he said something funny to me, and I had sort of very jokingly said, oh, uh, shut up, you. And I used a word thinking an idiot. But the word I used was, I'll shut up your nonce. Um, of everyone, that's the one I was thinking of.
Speaker B: Yeah.
Speaker A: And he looked at me and he was like, I beg your pardon? And I went, you nonsense.
Speaker B: Like, I'm doubling down on this.
Speaker A: And he went, what do you think that means? And I said, idiot. And he went, no, it means pedophile.
Speaker B: And I was like, oh, my God.
Speaker A: I don't. Well, I didn't think you did. But I just want to clarify. That's not what you meant, is it? I was like, no, no, no. I said it in front of everyone, mortified. I'd worked with him for about 15 years, and I went on a reunion with him and a load of other people last year, and he brought it
Speaker B: up, never forgotten or forgiven.
Speaker C: What do you think you'd have done if you had said, no? No, I know it means pedophile.
Speaker B: Yeah.
Speaker A: I'm just calling you pedophile in front of everyone.
Speaker C: So I have one from year five at school where, you know, you come back after the summer holidays and you all have to write about what you've done in summer holidays, and you write a little, you know, a little short story about what you've done. And that year I'd gone to a horse riding center, uh, and I'd written about, um, about the ejaculation center that I'd been to.
Speaker B: Got a question?
Speaker C: No, no, just the, you know, the local ejaculation center where I've been, you know, riding the horses. I mentioned that teacher's face, reading that and thinking, what. What to go on. Vic, have you got any, uh, mistaken word stories?
Speaker B: This actually isn't a work one. It's, um, a personal one. And I was on holiday, and, um, it's a group holiday and loads of people were around, so I was really quite old, and it was my birthday, and I turned to my mom, you' packing at the time. And, um, um. And I was like, oh, have you brought my birthday suits? And she was like, do you know what that means? And I was like, no. Is that not just an outfit that you wear on your birthday?
Speaker A: She's gonna go to an interview in your birthday suit.
Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker C: You take everywhere.
Speaker A: Now, actually, I. I have got one
Speaker C: more, if you don't mind me sharing. Just one more from when I was little. And my mom brings this up, like, every. You know, that family thing that you just bring up at every family gathering. And she goes. When I was about five, I think she was around with her friend. And I said something like, where do people go when they die? And she said. She said about going to heaven. And she said, all souls go to heaven. And I said, even our souls.
Speaker B: And what I meant was our souls. Like, our souls. She said, you're.
Speaker C: When you said our souls. Okay, enough of that. Right? Who's got the next story?
Speaker A: Yeah, so my one is. It's quite American. Um, I think. And I don't think I'll do American accent, but, um, you'll. You'll know that. You'll know why it's American within the first three words. I had to poop.
Speaker B: Okay.
Speaker A: Yeah, I had to poop in a garbage can in the back of my ambulance. I'm a paramedic. I had a sudden diarrhea attack, and all the public restrooms were closed due to Covid. I had to delay our response. Thankfully, I work in a large EMS system, and another crew took the call for us. I mean, can you imagine being so desperate to go for a poo that you had to do it in a garbage pan, probably in front of few colleagues?
Speaker C: Oh, no.
Speaker B: Can I read a similar one that I found? So we had a woman trying to avoid doing work by sitting out in her car in the parking lot while she was hiding out there. She needed to use the restroom. Well, instead of going back inside or literally doing anything else, she decided to pee out of her car window.
Speaker A: As, uh. You know what?
Speaker B: Even though I am also a woman, I was impressed and disgusted by the physics behind the speech. She had stuck her bare bottom out the window and just went for it. I, um. Unbeknownst to her, her male co worker had arrived at work late due to an appointment, uh, very passed to find his parking spot as this is happening, and got a full view. He then reported the incident to us. One of our HR people had to investigate this. Poor, poor son. One of our HR people had to investigate this and sure enough, parking lot cameras could corroborate his story. Our HR person confronted the woman. Her response. Well, how did he know that it was me? It could have been anybody. We thought, okay, fair enough. The cameras aren't CSI grazing. We only saw the bottom part. It was harder to completely identify the face. So we went back to the male pair and asked how he knew it was her. And his response? Oh, it was definitely her. The face tattoos were pretty recognizable.
Speaker A: So he's in her bottom before?
Speaker B: No, her face. The face tattoo is supposed to be recognizable. So I think he'd like seeing the bottom, looked at the face, noticed the tattoos, and knew exactly who it was.
Speaker C: No, I think she had tattoos of people's faces on her butt.
Speaker B: Oh, do you think so? Yeah.
Speaker A: And I think he'd seen her bum before. Anyway, just brings a whole new level to it.
Speaker B: Can you imagine being, like, knee deep in employee relations cases and then that one lands on the top?
Speaker A: I would drop everything for that.
Speaker C: I would love that.
Speaker A: I'd be like, I'm sorry, I can't do the highlight level million pound fraud case, because I need to investigate and I need to ask her how she did that, because there has been many times I've wanted to and just haven't felt that I could.
Speaker C: Do you think she got pee on the car?
Speaker B: I think it probably depends which way the wind has blown. Lisa,
Speaker C: like, stood on her seat, open a window, like, put her bum out the windows. If it was a seat, wouldn't she.
Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A: Wouldn't it just be needed to open
Speaker C: the door and squat on the floor? Luckily, it doesn't have a bit of COVID from the door.
Speaker A: I mean, talking about my childhood, I have done many a wee in the back of a trailer or in a stable or behind in a field in the corner of a field. Anybody who has horses, I think will definitely be like, yeah, me too. Because you just. If you got to go, you got to go.
Speaker B: Not on work premises, though, I would like to think.
Speaker A: Not that I recall.
Speaker C: Oh, God.
Speaker B: Can you imagine having to investigate that and looking and watching the footage back
Speaker A: and keeping it straight?
Speaker C: It would be hilarious. I'd rewind it at least three times and have a really good laugh.
Speaker B: Just being an image that would never leave.
Speaker A: You would think I've had to investigate,
Speaker E: um,
Speaker A: uh, whether two people were, uh, doing the do on the job, but they were going into a. Into a cupboard that didn't have CCTV footage. So we could only look at the CCTV footage as they were going into the cupboard. And then as they were coming out and were looking to see whether they were looking particularly flustered or flushed. But if it was an American cop drama, they'd be able to zoom in to the beads of sweat on the people. But I don't know about you, but all of the CCTV footage I've ever seen is grainy. You can barely tell who it is. You know, it's black and white. They're all sort of walking like, you know, you can't see on the podcast. But I'm walking a little bit like a robot, you know, and you can't, you can't always tell who it is. But yeah, we were, we were very closely looking to see whether they looked post coital.
Speaker B: Um, I'm intrigued. How long were they in the cupboard for?
Speaker A: Not enough to be proud, but enough to not be just grabbing some Post it notes, which is what I think they said they were doing.
Speaker C: Amazing.
Speaker A: Yeah. But having to do that with a straight face, which is, you know, it's come to my attention that, um, you know, you were joined in the cupboard for 10 minutes, 12 minutes, something like that. Um, you know, with such and such a person. Um, you know, can you talk to me about what you were doing there? And then watch them going, um, well, uh, what was. That's really nice of his life? What it was, was, uh, you know, we need to post IT notes. So I went, oh, you know, I looked everywhere else. But the really long story about the reasons why they had to get post it notes there and then. And you know, and I'm just listening.
Speaker C: When you start your career in hr, I feel like somebody should give you a bingo card. And every time that you come across like one of these stereotypical HR things that you have to deal with, you have a stamp. Um, you know, so whenever you have to investigate people, you know, doing the do at work illicitly, there's a stamp. Whenever it's about a toilet incident, there's,
Speaker B: ah, yeah, it doesn't happen as much anymore. But accidentally printing something that they shouldn't have printed. Yeah, that's always good one. Um, yes, I think you're right. I think there's like certain cases that are like a rite of passage in hr, aren't they?
Speaker C: Yeah, I saw one on one of the Facebook groups about when they, um, when they moved buildings, they moved filing cabinet aside. You know, there's like two offices and there's a filing cabinet on the wall. And when they moved it aside, they found a little hole between the offices to see people in the offices next to each other. Um, yeah. Yeah, that's really. I've never had to deal with that.
Speaker A: But where do people get. I would just be so petrified of getting into trouble that I would never dare do anything. I mean, I'm so boring.
Speaker B: So this brings me to. To another story that I found on the. On the Internet. Right. Okay. Came into work early for a morning shift, working in an industrial lab. Heard noises from the background of the office portion of the building, but can't make out what they were because of distortion. Headway to see what was going on as I was the only one there. So I thought at 3am, see my lab manager effing the district manager, her boss, whilst the HR rep for the district is sitting there enjoying the view.
Speaker A: And they knew that she was watching
Speaker B: or him and went to the lab and tried to forget what happened. So I have a question. In what world? So you know what? Different kinks for different people. Cool. What have you into? How would you get to the point in an employment relationship where you like, you know what, really love to watch you guys? Like, how, how. How does that come up?
Speaker A: Well, I think that, like, how do these gangs. I mean, I suppose, like on the Internet and stuff, you can do that now. But maybe they, maybe they matched on Tinder and then it was a coincidence that they worked together.
Speaker C: Yeah, but like, do you think the HR person, like, first of all caught them? Um, or maybe they disclosed their relationship to HR and that HR was. The person was like, oh, yeah, that's fine. But I need to be present whenever that's happening.
Speaker A: So make sure that safeguard.
Speaker C: Make sure you don't get the wrong hole.
Speaker A: Like an intimacy coordinator.
Speaker B: Uh, yeah. Maybe she's scoring them out of 10.
Speaker A: Appraisal.
Speaker B: She's doing an appraisal.
Speaker E: Right.
Speaker B: That was a solid 9.5. Well done to you. Seven for attitude. Oh, my God. I've just got images.
Speaker A: I know it's like a stereotype, but
Speaker C: I've just got images.
Speaker A: Like the, the HR person just sat there with. With sort of like sexy glasses on and with their legs crossed. Um, just like. Yeah, like you say, with a clipboard.
Speaker B: Yeah.
Speaker C: You know, some kind of matrix scoring system of, you know, speed versus pressure,
Speaker A: effort, effort versus performance, impact versus output. Roger tries hard, but sadly the employee satisfaction was not high.
Speaker B: Yeah, nice.
Speaker C: Yeah. Low net promoter score on that one. Love it. Dear listeners, how would you rate your sexual performance as a hr?
Speaker B: Oh, my God.
Speaker C: And deciding.
Speaker A: Not very high for me in a while.
Speaker B: So I've got one.
Speaker A: So it's quite A short one but I feel like it's been done so many times and I've got a funny story about it as well. I was casually seeing someone at work and accidentally replied all to her company wide message with not meant for everyone. Doesn't say what it is.
Speaker B: I'm a.
Speaker A: But it could have been anything. I mean I don't know how I've never done a reply all, I don't think.
Speaker C: Yeah, no, I haven't, didn't. I haven't done it like one on one. But like when I've had a couple of what the situation was. It was very. It was embarrassing but not like too bad. It wasn't a dick pic obviously. Um, but it was from. I think it was like a community.
Speaker A: I want to assume Lisa, it's a
Speaker C: communications at Altar from the finance director or somebody like that who I had a really good relationship with. And then I went to reply and say just something a bit like, a bit glib, you know what I mean? Like a bit, you know, not as professional as I would if I knew it was going to all staff. And then I did reply on and it went to all staff. But it was fine. It wasn't too bad. I got away with it. But go on Kate, you got a story.
Speaker A: So mine was that, uh, um, many, many years ago I handed in my resignation to my boss and you know, I did the whole thing of, you know, I'm very sad to go, you know, all of that kind of stuff. And he was sort of like persuading, trying to persuade me to stay and I knew that I was leaving but I sort of allowed him to think maybe I would think about it. But I definitely wasn't. I just wanted to get out of that conversation immediately. Started drafting my leaving party invite and so I think I went on to Microsoft Paint or whatever it was at the time and thought, well, I'll. I'll draft the email and. And all of that kind of stuff. Anyway, drafted it. Just click send. Now it's like what have I done? Because obviously we hadn't told anybody like a month notice to work. Uh, you know, wanted to be able to tell them himself. He wanted tell them who would be replacing me. And I. And then I did the classic, uh, retract, retract, you know, can I do that? Uh, which never works.
Speaker C: I don't know why they have that feature.
Speaker A: But it doesn't recall it.
Speaker C: No, it just tells everyone that you've
Speaker A: made a mistake and you immediately want to read it, right?
Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to read that one more than you've ever wanted to read any of your emails.
Speaker A: So, yeah, so that my.
Speaker C: My boss was like, yeah, yeah, sure.
Speaker A: Thinking, oh, my God, he knows. And he went, what's this? And I went, I'm so sorry. And I explained to him what I'd done. He was just like, you're really keen to go, aren't you? And I was like, yeah, it's a load of bollocks then, about me persuading you to stay. And I was like, yeah, m pretty much make my fortune in London. Um, I didn't. I went and got knocked up. And yeah, had to. Had to m. Move back.
Speaker C: But you got something better than your fortune. Those conversations you have in HR where a manager comes to you and they're like, oh, my God, so and so's just resigned and you make that whole
Speaker B: plan of like, how are you going
Speaker C: to do the comms and how are you going to let everyone know? And, you know, you don't unsettle everybody. And yeah, they didn't have a chance to do any of that with uk, did they?
Speaker A: It was really unprofessional. It was really.
Speaker D: Yeah.
Speaker A: Ah, it was really.
Speaker C: It was quite.
Speaker A: But look back on it now, it's awful.
Speaker B: And put your guardedly Kate in your favor.
Speaker A: You know what they did.
Speaker C: They didn't.
Speaker A: I worked all the way up to the. The end.
Speaker B: Oh, uh, that's annoying.
Speaker A: Yeah.
Speaker B: A post online the other day about some, um, HR board. He was wanting to resign and she, um, was only on a week's notice and her boss was on holiday. And her boss's boss was on holiday.
Speaker A: I saw that.
Speaker B: I don't know what to do and
Speaker A: I was like, dmd, didn't she? Or the CEO, whatever.
Speaker B: Like, whatever you want to do. But I sit like, can you m. Imagine being that person's boss and coming back from holiday and having no team.
Speaker A: Why were they both off at the same time? Wow.
Speaker C: Right. I got a story. I had a bracket military, hence the humor. Close brackets, friend screenshot, a dick pic on my phone whilst I wasn't paying attention. And that's why the caveat, though, that it was military, so it's fine. The following morning, I was a bit hungover and I had a client ask for some pictures of the work that we'd been completing. I simply highlighted a bunch of pictures and sent them. And in that moment I saw it, but it was already too late. I was so embarrassed. Explains and apologize and the client had a good laugh. I got lucky.
Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Can you imagine?
Speaker A: My God, that is the modern day
Speaker B: equivalent of printing out the wrong thing on the printer, isn't it?
Speaker C: It is absolutely.
Speaker B: What's happening. The wrong picture.
Speaker A: Yeah.
Speaker C: Or leaving the zoom camera running. I'm surprised we haven't had one about that yet.
Speaker A: That happened. It wasn't a zoom camera, but that happened in the same place that I resigned from. Um, one of my colleagues was on the phone to their clients and it was very much, yes, absolutely, sir, don't worry about it, sir. Blah, uh, blah, blah, blah, hung up and then was just like, oh, uh, what? Ah, a. What an absolute tosser. I can't stand that client. Blah, blah, blah, hadn't hung up properly. It was pretty shocking.
Speaker B: We did a meeting, um, where we uh, there's a couple of us that were snowed in so we had to style in instead of being there in person and one of my lovely colleagues is at home and dialled in. And um, at one point it obviously needed a comfort break and it wasn't the appropriate time and had forgotten to mute herself and so took, took her to the toilet with her. It was a bonding moment
Speaker A: that has reminded me of. I can't remember all the stories. I just tried to do a quick Google on it and I can't remember where I, where I heard it, but there was an intern that had done something. They'd done a tweet or something. The person who owned, um, you know, who was responsible for the social media basically, you know, went on to Twitter and just said, yes, the intern has messed up. Yes, we're supporting them, you know, we apologize for it. And then it was really nice because loads of people then came onto Twitter and said, this is the mistake that I made when I was an internal. And somebody said that they'd drawn pictures of all of their bosses, like unflattering pictures of their bosses and would say to their fellow interns, and one of them was the two bosses that owned the company. They'd drawn them as Bert and Ernie, but then it accidentally sent it to the whole company and their direct boss had like really taken umbrage to it and you know, and really sort of came down hard on them. But the two owners thought it was quite funny so they got away with it because the, the owner saw the funny side of it.
Speaker B: But yeah, like being the employee engagement geek that I am, actually, that is where like those two examples of where cultures properly tested, isn't it? Do you want an affair one?
Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
Speaker B: My previous senior manager was renowned for sleeping with colleagues he was married with kids before I started there. I remember seeing a huge banner plastered across the footbridge that everyone leaving work by car had to drive under, uh, to get to the motorway. The sign said Joe Bloggs. Not actual name. No. Uh, cheating. Blasted. Uh, turns out he was cheating on his wife with a team leader, uh, from another department and was cheating on his mistress with a team from yet another department. Both the team leaders found out about each other and had a massive fight in the reception of the building.
Speaker C: Oh, my goodness.
Speaker B: I started the company. Both of the team leaders are no longer working there.
Speaker A: The energy.
Speaker C: I think we might have had that case come through our consultancy last year.
Speaker A: I don't know about you guys, but I'm married with one child and I just would not have the energy to have an affair, let alone more than one affair. Uh, who has the energy, the mental energy, let alone anything else to juggle that?
Speaker B: I'm not bright enough, I am not clever enough.
Speaker A: No, you are not, Vic.
Speaker B: That's myself out so quickly.
Speaker A: Yeah.
Speaker C: You both know about, like, the one case that I bring up a lot where the, um, somebody was an escort and then someone else was joining in with the escort and going along to their escort for they were on a site called adultwork.com and anyway, it was.
Speaker B: And the, the main thing that I
Speaker C: thought about this at the end of it was, what are they doing on a Friday night where they're not just getting home, getting into pajamas and putting on marriage first sight? Because that's all I'm doing every Friday night. And these people, like, on adultwork.com they're like, finding people, they're off to do that as a couple and I'm like, What? Like they're 10, 15 years older than me and I'm literally there like popcorn. Married at first sight. Sleep by eight.
Speaker A: Adultwork.com. what's that?
Speaker C: It's exactly what it says on the tin cake.
Speaker A: I'm getting adult and then adult. Yeah, Porn or whatever. But what work?
Speaker C: I don't know. Gigs. It's a bit.
Speaker B: A bit like Heritage funds.
Speaker C: It's where they come. Gigs and they go and do the adult work.
Speaker B: Yeah. People who would like to be paid for that.
Speaker C: Yeah, they have a profile and then you go on it and then you find, you know, they link up with people that want to do it and people who want to buy it and then they link up and then they go do it.
Speaker A: And that's W O R K.
Speaker C: Yes,
Speaker A: I do it for free.
Speaker C: Who's the fool Suddenly your LinkedIn inquiries are going to go way up after this game.
Speaker A: Not once they've seen my profile.
Speaker B: P.
Speaker C: I've got another one. When I, uh, was a sales rep, my colleague next to me had booked a meeting with this oil company. We used Zoom. A few days later we realized that, uh, we jumped on the Zoom and we realized that, uh, it was banned and we had to use teams. So they asked the oil company to send them a team so that they could have this sales meeting. And the person sent the teams, but accidentally ended up sending it to 3,000 employees with a message of jump. On this link now.
Speaker B: Oh, no.
Speaker C: Yeah, across, ah, across, uh, five global locations. So the prospect of my colleague was still on the phone outside of teams. As the chat started filling up with, what is this meeting for? Who is this guy? And the prospect starts yelling at the
Speaker B: screen, hang up and leave the call repeatedly.
Speaker C: Long story short, the demo never happened.
Speaker A: Did I ever tell you about that cipd, um, meeting that I went on? Um, it was sort of back in the early days of lockdown. Um, and I think CIPD had, like, maybe they weren't really used to zoo or, uh, whatever. But anyway, it all seemed a bit new to them. You could see everybody on the screen, and there was a young boy sat in a chair. And I remember looking at him and thinking, you look incredibly young, to be honest. Pd and he. He was just sort of in the chair, just sort of swinging casually like this. And I remember thinking, oh, well, maybe, you know, it's when the schools were out. And I thought, oh, maybe like, you know, his mom or his dad has just said to him, let me know when the, uh, you know, when everybody gets in, or whatever. So I didn't really think too much of it. Anyway, he was just there swinging away, and then they were doing the slides. You know, you've got annotation tools. Suddenly there was like a pencil or a pen. Drawing of a penis suddenly appeared on the slide.
Speaker C: And.
Speaker A: And you could tell it was this boy. You could tell because he was like, you know, so, like, looking. Looking really cheeky. And this poor woman who's presenting, bless her, uh, valiantly tried to continue. So I don't. I don't know what happened. There seems to be an unusual marking. I'm there going get to Pena. And, um, she's like, oh, I'm just going to try and erase it. And then she's getting all flustered and
Speaker C: trying to erase it.
Speaker A: She can't erase it. And everybody's trying to help her by saying, you need to click on the eraser. Uh, and in the end, she went, oh, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just gonna have to continue. So she continued on while this penis was taking up the whole screen. And this boy is like, oh, uh, this is the best day of my life. The best day of my life. And I was sort of like, on the chat saying, does somebody want to eject? You know, eject this. This young lad? And, uh, like, we don't know how to do it. We don't know how to do it. This lad's just like, oh, yeah, gone to this CIPD meeting, and I ruined everything. And I just thought, ah, to be. You know, this woman was cross. But for this boy, he's going to be talking about this for years.
Speaker B: That is brilliant. Do you know what? I'm really proud of him.
Speaker C: That is hilarious.
Speaker A: It was the best CIPD meeting I'd ever gone on to.
Speaker C: My friend had a, uh, meeting on something called Meetup the other day, which is a new. And she runs a podcasting club, like a local podcasting club that she's just started with somebody. So they were running this podcasting club,
Speaker B: and they obviously put the link to
Speaker C: meet upon a kind of, um, you know, spotted Bronze Grove type Facebook page. Uh, so as she's talking, she just sees that out of the corner of her eye, something that's on there, and all she can see is from the belly button to the. To the lower, you know, lower area. Naked, just jacking off.
Speaker A: No female.
Speaker C: Yeah, obviously male. No female is going to do that, are they? Just, like, join and bloody virtual meeting and just start wanking off on it.
Speaker B: That's, uh.
Speaker C: Sorry, men. It's definitely a male thing. Um, yeah. And she didn't know what to do, so she's just in the corner of her eyes trying to, like, present, and she can just. She's like. I don't know if everyone else could
Speaker B: see this,
Speaker C: like, do something, do something. I think they did work out in the end. Had to get him off, but, yeah, it was just.
Speaker A: Oh, did they now?
Speaker C: Well, he probably got himself off.
Speaker A: Boom. So now. Now that we have, like, had a few drinks, what's the real reason you leaving, Lisa?
Speaker C: Oh, I just. I just hate you both. You're the most awful people. Oh, uh, do you know what? I can't even pretend to do it. You're not. You're the loveliest people in the world. Honestly, I feel so sad that I'm having to leave, and I do feel like I'm having to Leave.
Speaker B: Not that.
Speaker C: I just. It was this natless business accelerator thing that's done it because it's like a full day every two weeks. I've got to go there again tomorrow after, like, sort the dog out. I have to go for a whole bloody day in Birmingham. Um, there's two workshops today. It's great. I've got what I've got tomorrow, strategic
Speaker A: visioning, but I just can't.
Speaker C: I just can't do, like, you know, I've got dropped to be in co chair at the CIPD because I can't just commit to that. And then this, and then it's like, when do I actually do any work? I'm doing a massive restructure at the moment. I've got a performance management framework I'm designing. We've got four cases on. You know, we've got our retained clients and it's like, I just, just. I just haven't, um. I'm spreading myself too thin and, um, I don't get to the gym. I've got about three stone and I'm just disappointed with myself, basically. So I've had to cut a few things.
Speaker A: Oh, will you come back, though, and
Speaker B: be an extra special guest?
Speaker C: I really want to come back. I want to do this every three months when we, like, find new Internet stories. Like, If I find 10 Internet stories every three months, can we just come back and do this one and you can just have me on?
Speaker A: You're gonna set me, like, KPIs for finding Reddit stories.
Speaker C: I'm gonna set up an alert and they all get sent to me when I've got about 10. So tell me now you're half cut. Are you glad I'm leaving?
Speaker B: Yeah.
Speaker A: Every change is an opportunity, isn't it? So we reset and, um, you know, we draw inspiration and we. We go again and. Yeah, be lovely to have you back.
Speaker B: Um, thank you for getting us started. Yeah.
Speaker A: Two years ago. Two years ago, we all. We all went on to a Zoom.
Speaker C: So it must have been about two and a bit years ago then. Yeah. We first got on a call and you were sat there in Tenerife on your own for a month, Kate.
Speaker A: Yeah.
Speaker C: And, uh, I've gotten the Zoom with you.
Speaker A: And we were.
Speaker C: We're on the Zoom with somebody, weren't we? And she was picking our brains about DNI and stuff like that. I can't remember what it was. I'd never met you. And she reached out to me on a Facebook group and she was like, oh, can I just pick your brains about dni. And I was like, yeah, sure, let's set up a Zoom. And then she randomly invited this person called Kate to Zoom. And I was like, oh, my God, like, my time's precious. Why are you, like, grouping us up? Like, it's my job to give you advice? Um, and then Kate came on, and then I was saying some things, and then Kate was saying some things, and I was like, who does this person think she is? And I came off the call, and I thought, I don't think Kate likes me very much because I disagreed with a couple of things that. Not disagreed. But we had a bit of, like, you know, say that I say this kind of thing. And I came off and I thought, oh, I don't think that Kate likes me. And then she reached out and said, uh, oh, let's have a little Zoom coffee together. And then you said to me that you're in Tenerife for a month. And I was like, I have respect for the girl. This girl's living my dream.
Speaker B: I'd forgotten about that.
Speaker A: It was really. It was then Lisa that said, I think I know somebody that might want to do this with us. And history was made. Think how many episodes we put out before we even met. And now we've met loads of times.
Speaker C: And I'm gonna make you Vic. And I was just like, oh, my God, this person's actually doing it properly. Like, we're just playing it, like, you know, oh, we're HR consultants. And then Vic's there, like, I've got investors that are bored at a tech company, and I'm a CEO, uh, of a tech startup in hr because I'm so cool. I was like, why are you hanging around with us losers?
Speaker B: I'm not the one who's leaving because I'm so busy, though, have I?
Speaker C: That's probably because you can take it more than me. You just kind of crumbled under the pressure. I have. That's it.
Speaker A: You've got so much going on. It's, um. You know, I've said to you so many times that I don't know how. How you do it, and your resilience is. Is really inspirational. Just the whole family thing and work thing, and you employ people, and, you know, you have some really demanding clients,
Speaker C: and the children are demanding. The employees are sometimes demanding, and the clients are very demanding.
Speaker A: There's a lot as employees should be. They should be demanding. So, uh, keep you on your toes.
Speaker C: Yeah.
Speaker B: My story about a glass of wine. Yeah, I went to a networking event. It was a networking Event. Ah, dinner. A, um, couple of weeks ago. And I was meeting somebody there. And for bedtime reasons, I needed to leave my house so that Emily could put the kids to bed without me leaving halfway through bedtime. That would just cause chaos. So I was like, that's no problem. I'll go in early. I was going into Manchester. I'll go in early and, um, I'll just go and find a bar and have a glass by. Once upon a time, that was my worst nightmare.
Speaker E: No way.
Speaker B: Now, like, oh my God. Someone. I'm just gonna sit at a bar with a glass behind me.
Speaker A: I'm m on your own. Amazing.
Speaker B: Incredible. So anyway, so off a chart. So we're going to this bar and, um, like, it's a really nice bar. It's very, you know, whatever. And it happened to be next to the venue. And, um, I said, oh, I'll have a glass of rose. I'm one of those people who drinks rose all year round.
Speaker A: Don't judge me like Diane off of the Traitors.
Speaker B: Oh, really? I love it. Interesting. I wonder what the link there is. Anyway, the bottom was like, if you've got any preference about what you'd like. And I was like, well, no, but I'm quite fussy about the color of the wine. Can you show me the bottles? So he holds these three bottles up and I was like, right, they all look pretty much of a much nest. I'll go with that one. Anyway, so he puts me this glass of wine, sets it down, drink my wine. My friend turns up and I was like, oh, I'll just paid bill to go. One glass of wine, £20.
Speaker A: Oh my God.
Speaker B: What wine was that? So I had inadvertently chosen a glass of Whispering Angel.
Speaker C: An angel. I was just gonna say that and
Speaker B: based on like, whatever, that one will do. The one on the end. But 20, isn't that outrageous? £20 for a glass of wine?
Speaker C: When, um, my other half was taking me and a friend to a bar somewhere to go meet some other girls. So my friend got in the car and she was like, oh, I got
Speaker B: this bottle of wine.
Speaker C: And I was like, I don't really do wine. I'm more of a gin and tonic girl. She's like, it's Whispering Angel. You want to do this wine? But I haven't got any glasses. So we just have to neck it out the bottle, and we've got to drink it by the time we get to the bar where the other girls are necked out. The Whispering angel in the car.
Speaker B: Do you know what it Was all right, like, and I've had it before, but I'm like, I'm not a wine m connoisseur. Like, you know, I know if it tastes like vinegar and it makes my Facebook her up, but apart from that, you know, I don't know. I definitely did not appreciate £20 worth of this.
Speaker A: That's outrageous. The cost of living.
Speaker B: I mean, I could buy five bottles of wine in Tesco's for that amount.
Speaker C: And Briscoe.
Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the screw top.
Speaker C: Yeah.
Speaker A: Mine's blue. Wicked. Um, I went out on Saturday night, um, with, uh, my husband and a couple of friends from Sheffield, and we went for a very classy tapas meal and then we. We hit a bar and I. I don't know how many Jaeger bombs I had, but it was very many. And it was very messy, but I had the best time. Oh, uh, it was incredible. It was so good. I really needed to let off steam and that was. Yeah, it was really good.
Speaker C: Oh, uh, I had tonight. Well, I had a kind of Saturday book set out. Not this Saturday, um, with my gym girls, um, when we got in Birmingham and we all, you know, get dressed up and all of that kind of stuff, and some blooming clients has put in their trustees on a Saturday at the think tank. I've got to go into, like, you know, who are we as a board
Speaker B: and, you know, where's our skills gaps and business planning and where are we
Speaker C: going to be in, like, three years and. And then, um, that's not going to finish till 4 or 5 o'. Clock, so. Because that's in Birmingham now, I think I'm probably going to go along for, like, one drink and drive home, give
Speaker A: them some whispering angel and see if you can wrap it up quicker.
Speaker C: Just take them for bottomless brunch at Turtle Bay or wherever. We do that.
Speaker A: Do that. That's what I'd do. That's the ultimate bonding.
Speaker B: Right? I think we should call time on this because otherwise, should we do. Cheers to Lisa. Yes.
Speaker A: Thank you so much for making our little podcast. Just incredible. We are going to miss you massively. Even though we're going to continue to work together on other projects and still be best friends forever. We will miss you and we love you so much.
Speaker C: Oh, uh, I love you too. And thank you so much for having me on your podcast. And I'm really gonna miss you. I'm gonna be so sad. But, uh, we've got Taylor Swift, if nothing else. We have got Taylor Swift.
Speaker A: Yes.
Speaker C: And thank you, listeners, for listening to my brummies clang for two years and for all the lovely feedback. Feedback. Uh, and, um, apart from the person that said about HR and hr and apart from the person that said that we laughed too much. Um, everybody else, I love you. Goodbye.
Speaker B: Love you.
Speaker C: Bye. Oh, thank you. Bye.
Speaker E: Uh, thanks for listening and for sharing your questions, dilemmas and conundrums with us. You make the show what it is. Send your questions to us. You can find the links on our webpage in the show notes. No matter what your dilemma, we can guarantee that you won't be alone. Alone. And hopefully we can give you some food for thought. We love having you as part of our community. So check out our HRDC LinkedIn page and find us on www.hrdirectorscut.com and don't be shy to DM us. If you like what you hear, leave us a review. We'll plant a tree for every review we get with more tree we fully intend to save the planet where we.
Speaker D: Sa.
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