308: What Entrepreneurs Misread as Failure

Speaker A: You're listening to the Black to Business Podcast, an educational podcast providing black entrepreneurs with the tools and resources to start and grow their businesses. We chat with vetted black entrepreneurs, thought leaders, and business owners as they provide tips and resources to help take your business to the next level. I'm your host, Winnie T. Marshall. Hello, and welcome to the Black to Business Podcast. I'm your host, Monique T. Marshall. So you ever notice how fast we jump to conclusions in business? Like, something can happen, and all of a sudden we've already made up in our minds about what it means. You can put something out there and it gets less response than you expected. Or, uh, maybe somebody says that they're interested in what you offer, and then they just disappear. And next thing you know, you are questioning everything that you've done, everything that you've built. You're thinking, like, maybe people don't want this. Maybe this isn't working. Maybe I need to do something, like, totally different. And honestly, I think that every entrepreneur has done this before. I know I have. Because when you're close to something and you really, really love what you do, it's really hard to look at it objectively. One thing happens. You fill the rest of the story in. You decide, okay, this is what this means, and you decide what's wrong. And you do all of this before you really have enough information to actually make the call. And now, to be fair, sometimes things do need attention. Sometimes an offer might need some work, and sometimes the numbers are telling you something that's truly important. All of those things are real and valid. But I think that as entrepreneurs, we can be so quick to turn a moment, like a single simple moment into, like, this big old verdict. And one thing happened. Not a business is failing. One thing didn't work out. Not, uh, a whole idea is wrong. One, uh, customer said, no, not. You're thinking like, nobody wants this. And that is a dangerous habit because sometimes we're making permanent decisions and based on temporary information. And so that's what I want to talk about today. Because sometimes we're calling failure. What we're calling failure is actually something else. Sometimes it's actually feedback. Sometimes it's information. Sometimes it's just a normal part of building something. And if you don't know the difference, you can end up changing directions in your business and doing so too soon. You can also end up abandoning good ideas too soon or. Or convincing yourself that something isn't right and that it's not working and you're not cut out for this. When that's actually not the case. So in this conversation, we're talking about what entrepreneurs, uh, misread as failure. Because I think one of the most valuable skills that you can develop in business is learning how to look at what's happening and accurately assess it before you decide what it means. So let's get into it. With that being said, you know something that I find very, very interesting, and that is a lot of times in business, the thing that gets us isn't even what actually happened. It's the story we create around what happened. Because two entrepreneurs can experience the exact same situation and walk away with two completely different conclusions. What I mean by this. So one person can look at a disappointing result and think, okay, what can I learn from this? The other person can look at the same thing and same result and think, maybe this ain't for me. I'm not built for it. These are the same situations, but you get two completely different interpretations. And I think that this is where a lot of unnecessary discouragement comes from in entrepreneurship. It's not always the event itself, but the meaning that we attach to the event, because once we've decided what something means, we start making decisions from that place. So if you've convinced yourself nobody wants what you're offering, you're going to show up differently. You're going to show up like, all right, I'm just here. Nobody don't want it anyway. Or if you convince yourself that you're behind, you're going to operate differently. And even if you've convinced yourself that something isn't working, you're going to start looking for an exit instead of looking for information. And sometimes that conclusion came from that very little evidence. So that very little evidence could be one disappointing result, one slow month that you might have had, or one thing that didn't go according to plan, and now you've built an entire narrative around it. And I think about this a lot, because entrepreneurship truly requires a certain level of emotional discipline. Not emotional suppression, not pretending that things don't bother you because they do. And that's normal and you're human. But it's that you want to make sure that you are disciplined emotionally. Because all of these things that you experience, they are normal and they are human. And in business, we have to be okay with being human. But with that being said, I do think there's a difference between acknowledging what happened and immediately deciding, okay, this means something totally different, and I'm going to make all of my decisions based off this emotional response or how I'm feeling Emotionally. And so I think that, uh, when this happens, entrepreneurs often move through the. These decisions and these steps that they need to take to get to these decisions too fast. And oftentimes when you're moving so fast, you don't even realize that you're doing it. So something happens, immediately you feel like, okay, I gotta solve this immediately. I gotta get out of this, because I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a leader. This is what I do. I solve things. And so you come up with this whole scenario in your head, and you come up with this quick solution and this quick conclusion about, okay, this is what this is telling me about your business, my business, when all of these things are not based on facts, they are based on assumptions. So, for example, let's say you host a workshop and fewer people register than you hope would, of course. And so this is a fact. So fewer people showed up. You can see the numbers, you can see all the things, but everything after that is interpretation. So this topic isn't good. People don't care. I wasted my time. I shouldn't do this no more. Those are stories, and they might be true, but they might not be. You don't actually know yet. And so the registration numbers that told you one thing, your interpretation added everything else. And I think that's where entrepreneurs can get themselves into trouble. Because once you've decided what something means, you stop investigating, you stop getting curious, you stop asking questions, and also you stop looking for information, because you've already reached this verdict like, okay, this is what it is. Meanwhile, there may be 10 other explanations that you haven't even considered. Maybe the timing was off the. Maybe the promotion started too late. Maybe people needed more reminders, or maybe even the topic was very strong, but the positioning wasn't so strong. And so you don't know yet. And I think that curiosity is one of the most underrated skills in entrepreneurship, because curiosity keeps you from turning every challenge into a personal, like, indictment. And so curiosity says, okay, what else could be true here? What else am I missing? What. What information do I still need? And also, what can I learn from this? And those questions will usually lead to better decisions than immediately deciding that you failed. So before you start changing everything up, um, before you start thinking about abandoning this idea, I want you to slow down and look at what actually happened. Separate the facts from the story, separate the results from the meaning that you've attached to it. Because sometimes the thing creating the most frustration isn't the situation itself. It's the conclusion that you've already decided to make about it. And you know what else I think entrepreneurs, uh, misread is failure, and that is having to repeat themselves. And this one is so real, because I am one of those people that hates having to repeat myself. Um, and I think that this is an issue for a lot of entrepreneurs, because after a while, you get so tired of talking about the same thing over and over. So you get tired of explaining what you do. The same offer. You get tired of answering the same questions. And so somewhere along the way, you start thinking, okay, if people were interested, they would have gotten it by now. If people cared about what I have to say or offer or sell, I wouldn't have to keep saying all of this. And also you might be thinking, okay, if it's working, I wouldn't have to be having this conversation. And I think that's where a lot of entrepreneurs get tripped up, because what feels old to you might still be new to the person that you're trying to reach. You're in your business every day, so you're thinking about it every day. You're talking about it every day. But the people you're trying to serve, they aren't. They're thinking about their own lives and what they got going on. They're thinking about their own business, if they got one. They're thinking about their own responsibilities and their own problems. And so sometimes we assume people are ignoring something when the reality is they just haven't seen it enough yet, or they saw it and they didn't need it in that time, or they saw it and honestly, they might have forgotten about it. And I think entrepreneurs underestimate how long it actually takes for people to associate you with something, for people to know what you do, for people to remember you when they need what you offer, and also for people to think, oh, yeah, that's who I need to talk to. All of those things take time. And it also takes repetition. And it's not always that folks aren't paying attention or they ain't supporting my business or they not reposting my business. And that's another thing we have to talk about, because we know how the algorithms work. People might not see it. So that's why repetition is so important. That's why posting consistently is so important, so that you catch those people when they are alert. And so we have to understand that people are humans. And a lot of times, people have a lot going on. And I can't tell you how many times I've had entrepreneurs say, I talk about this all the time. And then they have a conversation with somebody, and the person says, wait, you do that, too. Meanwhile, you might have mentioned it 100,000 times, but at least it might feel like 100,000 times. And that's usually the moment that you realize that you've been hearing yourself talk about it far more than other people have. And so that's why I think entrepreneurs, uh, sometimes walk away for something too quickly. Also, it's not because the business wasn't working, but because folks got tired of repeating the message and waiting for folks to get familiar and catch on to the message that they were saying. And I'm here to tell you, no, don't get tired of repeating yourself, because you are going to catch that person, uh, right in the moment that they need you the most. And so you have to get comfortable with repeating it. And just because you're repeating something, it doesn't mean that you're failing. And now, another thing that entrepreneurs can misread as failing is needing to adjust something after it's already out there. And I think this one gets people, because we want the first version to be the version that works. And I have been so, so guilty of this. So you might put together an offer, you might write the copy, you might create the sales page, and you talk about it, and you send an email about it, and you also start to tell people about it. And so in your mind, you're hoping, okay, this just is gonna work, and people are going to understand that. People are gonna buy it. People are going to respond in the way that you thought they would. But sometimes the first version shows you what still needs to be tightened up. And that can be frustrating because now you're thinking, dang, I already put this out there. I already told people about it. I already spent time, money, resources on this. So needing to go back and adjust it can feel like you got it wrong. But that's not always the case. Sometimes the first version did exactly what it was supposed to do. It. It gave you something to learn from. It showed you what people understood. It showed you where people had questions. It showed you where somebody might have hesitated. And it also showed you what you might have assumed was obvious, but it wasn't obvious to them, to your customer. And those things are valuable because before something is out into the world, a lot of times it's still a theory. You can think that people will respond one way, and you can think that your price makes sense, but once people actually interact with it, now you have something tangible to actually work with. And that's where the learning happens. And I think sometimes entrepreneurs skip over that learning because they're so busy feeling embarrassed that the first version didn't do what they wanted it to do. But there is nothing, absolutely nothing embarrassing about refining something that's just part of building, that's just part of business. The first version of an offer may show you that people need a clearer outcome. The first workshop may show you that people need more examples. The first sales page, it might show you that people were confused about who it was for. And that doesn't mean that when all of these things are happening that you have to throw away the whole thing. It just means that you need to pay attention. Because sometimes what we call failure is really the first round of feedback. And I think that this is important because a lot of entrepreneurs want proof before they put something out there. So, proof that people will buy it, that your idea is strong and that your offer will work. But I'm here to tell you that business doesn't always give you proof before you make a move, before you make a sale. And sometimes it gives you proof after you put something into motion. You put it out. You watch how people respond, you listen to the questions, you look at where people hesitated, you notice what actually happened, and then you just make it better. And that's how a lot of things get built. Not perfectly in private, but through real feedback. And so if something needs adjusting, uh, for. I don't want you to automatically make that mean that it failed. I, uh, want you to instead, you know, I like to say, ask yourself some questions. Ask yourself, what did this show me? What do people understand better now? And also, what are some of the questions that came up? What are some of the areas that support was needed? And what actually worked better than I thought it would? Because sometimes the adjustment is going to be the path. And the thing you learn after putting it out may be the exact thing that helps the next version work even better. And that's why I also love when we talk about, like, mvp, minimal viable product, because you get to test, you get to iterate, you get to put things out there when it's not as perfect. And that's okay because it helps you gather that data to improve it. So don't make needing to refine, uh, something mean that you were wrong for just trying it. Sometimes it just means the business is giving you something useful to work with. And with that being said, something else that I think entrepreneurs misread as failure is when people don't move as quickly as they expected. And this one can Be really tricky, because from your perspective or your side, it feels like nothing is happening. You're talking about your offer. People are engaging, people are asking questions. People are saying things like, all right, girl, I've been meaning to work with you, or I've been watching for a while, or I've been thinking about it, and then nothing happens. At least that's what it looks like. And I think that this is where entrepreneurs, uh, can get discouraged, because you're looking at the situation thinking, if they wanted it, they would have bought it. If they saw the value, they would have said yes. But people make decisions for all kinds of reasons and, and not, uh, all of those reasons have anything to do with whether they see value in what you offer. Sometimes they are trying to figure out timing, they're trying to figure out budgeting, they're trying to see, okay, let's look at all of the options that are in front of me. And sometimes life is just a life thing. And I think that entrepreneurs forget that. People don't spend all day thinking about your business the way that you do. So what feels urgent to you might not feel urgent to the person on the other end. And also what feels obvious to you might not feel obvious to them. And so that doesn't automatically mean that that person or that customer is uninterested. And I think that this is especially important for service providers, especially coaches, consultants, educators, and anyone really selling something that requires a person to make a meaningful investment. Because we have to understand that trust take time. Not always. Sometimes people do move quickly, but a lot of times, trust is built over multiple interactions. People read your emails, they listen to your podcast, they watch your content, they see how you show up, and they pay attention to how consistently you operate. And they're gathering information long before they even reach out. And I think the entrepreneurs can miss that because so much of it happens quietly, under the radar. You don't always know who's paying attention, you don't always know who's watching you. And you also don't know always who's considering working with you six months from now. You only see the final decisions. You don't see the process that led up to it. And I think that that's why it's dangerous to assume a slight, slow decision means rejection, because sometimes people need a little bit more time, and that's okay. They're still building that trust, maybe, or they're still gathering the confidence to even move forward. Now, that doesn't mean that every interested person will eventually become a customer. That's not what I'm saying. Some people won't buy, some people aren't the right fit, and some people will choose something else. That's just how business works. But I think entrepreneurs do themselves a disservice when they treat every delayed decision as proof that nobody wants what they're offering. Because that's usually not a conclusion you make from the information you have. And honestly, if you've been in business, uh, long enough, you've probably experienced this from the other side. So you've probably bought something months after you first heard about it, or you probably hired somebody after following them for a while. Or, uh, maybe you probably joined something long after you first learned about it. The decision may have looked sudden to that person that you patronized, but it wasn't. The trust was built over time. And I think that's worth remembering when you're looking at your own business. Because sometimes what looks like disinterest is actually a process that you're not able to see. And if you're constantly misreading patience as rejection, you end up discouraged by things that may simply need more time to unfold. And now this last one, this is a little bit different because it doesn't always show up in your numbers, it doesn't always show up in your cells, and it doesn't always show up in your customer feedback. Sometimes it shows up in. In you. And I think this is something a lot of entrepreneurs quietly wrestle with. So you might reach a point where parts of the business that used to feel exciting, they don't feel as exciting anymore. They don't hit the same m. So the way that you've been doing things, it feels like things are just, like, a lot harder right now. And the systems that you've created, they don't fit where you work anymore or the offer made since two years ago. But now it feels a little bit different. Now it feels like it's not a good fit for you. You've outgrown it. And before long, m, you start wondering, okay, do I even want to do this anymore? Maybe I've outgrown this. Maybe I need to start over. And listen, sometimes businesses do come to an end. Sometimes people genuinely want a new chapter. That happens. But I also think there are a lot of entrepreneurs who mistake evolution, uh, for misalignment. What they're really feeling is growth. What they're really feeling is change. What they're really feeling is attention that comes from outgrowing an old way of operating. Because the version of you that started the business is not the same version of you that's running it today. You know more, you've experienced, experienced more, you've learned more, you changed. And sometimes the business has to change with you. And I think about this the same way we think about clothes. There were certain things that just fit you at one stage of life that they don't fit you anymore, especially later, as you've grown. And that doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. It doesn't mean that you just need this whole new entire identity. It just means that you've grown. And I think entrepreneurs sometimes jump straight to, I need a completely different business, when the real question might be, does this business need a different version of me? Maybe you don't need a new business. Maybe you don't need better boundaries. Maybe you need different support. Maybe you need to stop doing certain tasks yourself. Maybe you need to simplify. Maybe you need to let go of a way of operating that no longer serves you. Those are all conversations that we have to have with ourselves. They're different conversations, but we have to have these types of conversations. And I think that with these being different conversations, it's important to make those distinctions, especially for entrepreneurs who have spent years building something that means a lot, lot to them. Because every season is not a sign that it's time to walk away. Every season that you're frustrated is not a sign that you're on the wrong path. And every season of change is not a sign that you fail. Sometimes it's simply a sign that the business is growing up and you're growing, too. So before you convince yourself that the whole thing is no longer working, I want you to take a closer look. Ask yourself, am I tired of this business, or am I tired of the way I've been operating inside this business? Because those are two very different questions, and the answer might change everything. You know, as we've been having this conversation, I keep coming back to this one idea, and that is a lot of entrepreneurship is learning how to act accurately, read what's happening, not react to it, not panic because of it, and not immediately make a huge decision because of it. Just learning how to read it. Because if we're being honest, business will give you plenty of moments that can really, like, shake your confidence if you let it. And if you're not careful, you'll start cheating every challenge. Like proviso, something is fundamentally wrong. Meanwhile, a lot of those moments are just part of building. A lot of those moments are giving you information. And a lot of those moments are also helping you become a better entrepreneur. And sometimes the thing that you've been calling failure hasn't earned that label at all. So I want to just thank you for being here. Thank you for recognizing. Okay, this is something that I need to work on. This is something that I'm facing, but I'm willing to listen to how I can put in the work to make a change. So shout out to you for showing up for yourself and your business. And with that being said, I can't wait to see you back here next week, same time, same place. But until then, keep building boldly and keep pushing the culture forward. Later, it.