S1E19 - @allthingsbtspodcast w/ Nina Payne | wsg. David Coleman

Speaker A: Foreign.

Speaker B: What's up, everybody? What's up, everybody? It's your girl, Nina Payne. Welcome to another episode of All Things behind the Scenes with me, Nina Pain. Uh, I hope you've been enjoying our other episodes. Look, today is. I'm super excited about today because we have a special episode of all things behind the scenes. We normally talk about events and entrepreneurship, and today is no different. But we're going to get to something really, really special, and it's called relationships. Right? And so how is it that you own a small business and you have relationship. How do you manage that? Also, how is it that you own a small business and you're married? How do you manage that and have a family? And in our case, and what I want to share with you today is how to be married, but when both of your spouses, or both of us are entrepreneurs. Now, I am not in the habit of sharing a lot of my personal information, but I get so many questions about marriage and owning a business and navigating and balance and family and legacy. But I thought it'd be a good idea for us to answer some questions on air and talk about our experience with being married and owning businesses. And so I have a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very special guest. Uh, none other than my Hubba Dubs, my life partner. Everybody, please welcome my husband, Mr. David Coleman.

Speaker C: Hello. Hello. Hello. Thank you.

Speaker B: What's up, D? Money?

Speaker C: Hi.

Speaker B: What was that? I'm super excited you're here. Welcome to the show. Your first time? What you think it's nice? You know what? Sarcasm. Uh, one on one. This one right here. So I thought we would talk about something really quick. And I think people ask us about this a lot, and it's our names. And so I'm Nina Payne, and you're David Coleman. And, you know, can you talk a little bit about why or what's going on with our names and how you feel about me being Nina Pain, you being that Coleman?

Speaker C: Um, actually, you're Nina Coleman to me. To the business world, you're Nina Payne. So when we first talked about getting married and. And, you know, changing the name, you asked me how I felt about it, and I told you it really didn't bother me. Um, because I think that it gives us a benefit. A lot of times we're in the room and folks don't realize that we're married. So what happens is, um, when it does finally come out, the reactions are hilarious. To see that people are shocked to find out that we are married and to see that we've been working together in a long time, and they just had no idea, so.

Speaker B: Well, that is not exactly true. So I'm going to go back a little bit, because when I first told you that I was going to keep my name Nina Payne, you had a bit of a problem with it when I very, very, very first told you, and you didn't understand what that meant or whatever. And then we started working together, and you realized that people respond to me as Nina Payne.

Speaker C: I don't remember that.

Speaker B: Oh, I, uh, don't remember that. We forget. But you're a traditionalist in that way. You wanted me to take your name.

Speaker C: I mean, definitely. You have my name. Like I said, if somebody calls you on the street and they holler Nina Coleman, you got to turn around and look. So, I mean, it's just a natural thing. But in the business world, you know, you know, you're known as Nina Payne. So business and personal has been separated.

Speaker B: Yeah, it is. And, uh, you're right. I would respond as Nina Coleman. I have people who call me Nina Coleman, uh, all the time. Even though it's not unnecessarily paper. You know, we've decided in our particular way that we navigate. I've had a business for several years before I, uh, met Mr. Coleman. And so it just was important for me to continue with that business name because it was already branded, if you will. So I appreciate you not giving me a whole lot of flack for that.

Speaker C: All right,

Speaker B: so look, we're going to get into some questions, and we have the help of our producer, Deja Na P. Dejanae Plummer, the one and only, doing all the live things behind the scenes. Um, so we got some questions for you. So we're going to get started. So, Deja, what you got for us?

Speaker A: Um, so first off, how did you all, uh, meet?

Speaker B: You want to tell that story, Mr. Coleman?

Speaker C: Yeah, I tell it all the time. Um, I was actually living in Atlanta at the time, and I was driving limos. And before I had met Nina, uh, about three months beforehand, I had met a guy by the name of Will Burnett. I got a call saying that they wanted me to pick up a rock band from Athens, Georgia, and drive them down to Atlanta. And it was a 5:30am M. Pickup. So I got there early, of course, saw, um, Will, and it was kind of funny because I never saw all black rock band. So when I put him in the car, started driving him back, had conversations with Will, I realized that, um, actually, they weren't a rock band. They were the group Kim, you know, they were singing with Kim and, you know, yeah, Willie giving me his telephone number. And it was one of those situations where, you know, you want to stay in contact with somebody, and you didn't. A couple months had passed, and then I got a call saying, hey, there's another gig coming up. New Year's Eve, Shaka Khan, Frankie Beverly Mays and his group. Kim, do you want to take the job? So I told the guy, yeah, you know, I drove them before, and, um, you know, it'd be, you know, easy. And it was a way for me to kind of reconnect with Will, Give me a reason to contact him. So I contacted Will. I said, hey, it's David. I'll be your driver again. I'll see you in a day or two. He said, no problem. And then when I went to the airport to actually pick them up, Will wasn't there. Nina, uh, actually showed up, you know, and I was like, hey, where's Will? She's like, you know, we'll. Won't be here today. My name is Nina Pain. You'll be taking instructions for me. Real stiff handshake, real firm, you know. So, uh, that's. That's pretty much. That's how we met.

Speaker B: It is how we met. And, uh, you know, so stepping back a bit. So, you know, my background is entertainment management, and so I was managing at that time as a road manager for the artist Kim. And the reason for this, the stiff handshake, is I had to, like, you know, warn off the folks, the folks trying to get into the camp and those trying to get next to the folks. And so it was very. I had to keep everything ultra professional. And so that's why you got the stiff handshake. But he was cute, you know, I looked at him a little bit, but business, business, business first all the time. And then we. That weekend, I was managing Christmas, uh, weekend on New Year's Eve weekend. And, uh, the artist decided he was going to allow everyone to bring a special guest down that was in the band, that was 26 people, bring a special guest, and all that had to be managed. And so we ended up. Dave was our driver for the weekend, and we hung out, and he did a really good job of just. Just being professional and staying on top of things. And I always like to navigate the people who take care of business. And he was one of those. I need to get to the airport. I need to get to the hotel. I need to drop this VIP off over here. I need to do this. I Need to do that. And he was Johnny on the spot. And so I think work ethic wise we really connected early on because I think we had similar kind of like it's about the business, let's get it done. Don't you agree?

Speaker C: Yeah, still is.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker C: So and then like I said, I mean I was driving limos as a side hustle. I was down there creating products and brands and I figured that limos, driver limos would be a good place to pitch. So I kind of use that to kind of, you know, connect and network with different folks and actually it worked. I found a wife.

Speaker B: I mean, you know. Yeah, yeah. A few years later and we ended up start working together, uh, with Kim as him as a merchandise manager and me as his boss because I managed all the things on the road. So he had listened to everything I told him to do and we were like oil the water and we argued and fussed and, and fought and cussed and all the things for a minute there because he hard headed, you know what I mean? And you know, you had to, you know and ah, you're not about to

Speaker C: just, you know, so whatever, look, get the job done.

Speaker A: Look.

Speaker B: I had to break him into the road business and so he, he, he did actually a really, really good job. And actually after I got off the road he stayed on the road and worked with a bunch of artists um, after I ended my uh, entertainment journey. And so I know I've been in business 23 years this year, you know, with foundation management. Let everybody know how long you've owned a business because you've had several.

Speaker C: I've had several. I had my first business at 14. Jack of all services. Me and my friend James Harris.

Speaker B: That was the name of the company. Yeah, Jack of all services.

Speaker C: My dad had medical centers at CJ Citizen high rise buildings. And he paid us uh, 25 DOL build um, a room to clean up. So we had like about 12 of them. Yeah, like we'd catch the bus.

Speaker B: But you get it.

Speaker C: Honestly, your dad was a entrepreneur, second generation entrepreneur. So that's, I mean that was how I started off. Um, as far as business wise, paperwork wise, that was my first registered business. But true color, the business that I'm pretty much known for now, screen printing, graphic design, apparel, merchandising. I've had that for 29 years. Started it in 94 my senior year in college at Southern University.

Speaker B: That's pretty dope I say. My mom was a real estate agent so that was her own business. But I didn't really See, it modeled in the way that you saw it, right? Go get the deal. The deal pays for the home and the thing. And everything was focused on that deal. There was no nine to five when you grew up. Not with your dad, right?

Speaker C: Nah. Um, I don't. I say my whole life I've heard him talk about having jobs when I was younger, but I've never seen him like go punch a clock or anything for anybody. It's always been money raised off of some type of deal. Um, the m majority of money I've seen him make has been over real estate deals. He's a real estate developer, so he's built some condos and stuff like that. So I'm also have a background in real estate. Licensed real estate agent since, uh, 2007.

Speaker B: So you say. Well, I was attracted to him. So, um, and, and I've always wanted to own my own company since I was little. Uh, my dad was a Ford executive, so he spent, you know, uh, with a lot of, you know, adults here in the city of Detroit at the big three, if you will. He trained a bunch of executive managers to do what they do. And so I saw both sides. I saw him model the lifelong corporate ladder. And I saw my mom kind of, she was in banking. And then she got out of banking and started real estate company. And I saw that. And so I had a little bit of both worlds. Um, and so we both had, you know, had our toe into that where he. You pretty much jumped in, fool you. Did you ever have a real job? Not real job. Sorry, don't mean to offend anybody. Did you ever have nine to five?

Speaker C: I mean. Yeah. When I first graduated from, um, From Southern in 94, I just started the T shirt business and it wasn't generating any revenue. And I moved down to New Orleans and actually I got a job working at Brian and Jupiter law firm. And at the time it was the largest black law firm in the deep South. So I worked there for I think 11 months. And while I was working there, I was building my business up. It was like a five dollar an hour job. But I was super plugged because we were doing all the work for the city of New Orleans, the mayor's office, Southern University. So I was using those, um, connections and networks to just build my business. And that's actually how I got into Valley's casino. You know, Lorenzo Creedon was a good friend of ours.

Speaker B: Shout out, Lorenzo.

Speaker C: Yeah, he was actually the vice president of Valley's riverboat casino. Um, I met him, pitched him, and he Kind of put me on as far as with that. So I would be sneaking off a $5 an hour job, picking up 10,000, $13,000 checks. And I thought I got to a point. I was like, maybe it's time for you to quit and move on so that you don't mess up your name. So that's when I decided to just, um, I gave it up and I actually quit.

Speaker B: So you. That was your only line of five. Was that 11 months?

Speaker C: It was about 11 months. And I mean, over the years, you know, it's been a couple of times where I've had to, like, dip in and dip out just to make, you know, make things work. But I sold cars. Yeah, I was.

Speaker B: I knew used car sales.

Speaker C: No, new. New. I sold new cars. A team. When I first moved in Atlanta, I, uh, sold used a new cars for about six months. It was the worst job I ever had in my life. But it helped my home, my skill sets as far as being a salesperson. I mean, it really helped me, you know, with my sales skills. So typically when I would take a job or a position or something like that, it was usually an underlying reason for me doing it. Just like the limos. I needed a couple extra dollars, but it really was so I could pitch because I got a college degree. So I could, you know, I could always go get a regular job. But that was never my intention.

Speaker B: Right. I hear you. I know. Jason, you have your questions lined up. We just went off on the rails. What's next?

Speaker A: You're fine. You're fine. Good conversation. Um, so how do you all balance, um, working, uh, and we're running a company and marriage. What's your work life balance like?

Speaker C: M. Is it balanced?

Speaker B: You know, I've always had this, this, this theory about the whole pressure of work life balance. Right. Because work life balance is whatever it is at the time that it is. Right. And so there might be times where, you know, we're spending a lot of time together and we're fixing up the house and we're, you know, doing all the things because our business is slowed down, we're able to do more with the family or more with each other or more with the homes and stuff that we have. And then there's times where, look, we got to get it because the business needs, you know, more at this time. And so I think it just depends on what's needed at that time and that we. We balance together. And so I think that there's a lot of pressure, especially for women, but entrepreneurs in general to have like this even 50, 50. You spend this time on work and you spend this time on children and you spend this time on your family and, and it's just never like that. And then whatever gets the attention that needs the attention gets the attention. What do you think?

Speaker C: Yeah, for the most part, I mean, you know, we live in a household where no work, no eat. So it's understood that we have to go out there and, and get it. But it also, it allows us to um, to get chance like to spend with our, you know, our daughters or go, go on trips and stuff when other folks have to ask for permission to go. We just set our situation up so that we can't enjoy those things. So I think, you know, that's a real benefit for me. You know, I never wanted to be in a situation where somebody could tell me I couldn't go see my child school at a school play or something like that. I'm, you know, I'm gonna do what and I'm gonna figure it out. So that's one of the big pushes for me, um, to actually know the push to be an entrepreneur. And it works for our household because typically with the last, last few years, last month in the year we leave for like two weeks.

Speaker B: Yeah, we spend time. Yeah, it depends. So we, we spend vacation at the end of the year. Generally that's when both of our businesses are a little slower. And so we've been making that our tradition, um, for the last few years. And that's worked out really well. Um, and then, you know, whenever we can, in the middle of take a couple of, you know, jump offs, I have learned for myself because my business is growing and you know, I have a lot of people responsible or that I'm responsible for and clients and all the things that we're managing a lot of different things that at one given time that I need to take, you know, mini vacations or staycations or workations even, um, throughout the year, you know, so I'll check myself into a hotel or I'll travel someplace and just be able to be. And take care of me, take care of the thing.

Speaker C: And so doing that right now actually.

Speaker B: Yeah, I'm currently checked into and it's just kind of a thing that helps me rejuvenate and, and not like be so tense where now my, my tense is on him because I'm, um, you know, I got a lot going on and I haven't taken time for myself. And so that's just a trick that I learned even with my first marriage, when I was, um, married to someone who didn't support what I did and who, who was a lifer, nine to fiver, um, who didn't understand kind of the building a business, the pressure, and, you know, it just. We had a really bad marriage. And so I would start to spend time in a hotel, and I learned that I could rejuvenate myself, um, just for a weekend, just some time where I could just focus on me and not have to worry about all the things around us, around me. And so I continued that when I got married, um, the second time, the best time, the last time. And, um, I think what's different about this, too, is that David allows me to just be me. And me means if I need to go spend some time with me, um, he gives me. He supports it. He supports it 100. And I think that is so huge and a total difference between my first and second marriage. And having a cheerleader, not that we talked about, this is a totally different sidebar of the question, but having a cheerleader to help you be able to be your best self and be able to focus on your wellness, um, so that I can be my best self when I'm with him. I can't. I can't do that if I don't get a chance to kind of take care of, of the temple. Um, I can't be my best self for him. So thank you for supporting me, for sure. Why do you do that? Like, why is it important for you to allow me to, you know, give me any flack about checking into a hotel or going on vacation or any of that? And I hear a lot of marriages who have. You have challenges with trying to take a vacation or do whatever by themselves. Like, it becomes a whole big marital issue. Like, what do you, I mean, comment about that?

Speaker C: I mean, I think back, and if I back up and think about it, you know, most of my adult life I lived away from home. So I, um, you know, I understand the importance of being by yourself. A lot of times, you know, living in New Orleans, living in Atlanta, living in Houston, Baton Rouge. So to me, there's nothing wrong with being by yourself. And if that's what you need to get yourself together, then, you know, you just go do it and make it happen. You know, we don't have any trust issues. So, you know, that's the biggest thing is whatever you're doing, I'm not worried about it. As long as, you know, you stay safe. That's my biggest concern is just as long as you're safe the rest of it, you know, I see you when you get back.

Speaker B: Yeah. And I think a lot of it, too, comes from being on the road. Like, we were used to. We were used to traveling. Uh, so if I'm on tour and, you know, he's at home or if he's on tour, I don't. Like, that was just part of our life. Like, it. It was very normal for him to be gone for.

Speaker C: Well, last. My last Tour was, what, 2019 with Kevin Gates. I left October 15th, and I didn't come back home to December 1st. Yeah, that was. Yeah, so that was.

Speaker B: And so. And for me, like, I miss them, but, like, it's not, uh, it's not. I don't. We don't have any trust issues. Like, there's. There's zero trustees. You absolutely trust them? Um, 100% and vice versa. So, like, we check in. We don't even check in every day.

Speaker C: You can't.

Speaker B: I mean, so we check in when we feel the need to check in.

Speaker C: You out there getting it and you focused and you doing what you're supposed to do. It just. It doesn't allow for, uh, you know, it's not an unfortunate thing. It's just the reality of it, you know?

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker C: You out on the road and sometimes you driving, sometimes you selling, you know, then you're trying to figure out when you can sleep in the midst of all of that. So, yeah, some of the days get by, but for the most part, not too much time goes by without at least, you know, sending a text message

Speaker B: or just, you know, the text messages if you. If you need to call me and, you know, I mean, I'm there. Or vice versa. When I was on the road and coming home to you, you know, if you haven't done it, you don't know the experience. I'm 22 hours working, and so. And it's constant move and shake. It move and shake and move and shake. And it's not a lot of downtime to sit and have phone call. It's not like that. And so I think you being out there with me, you saw and you understood kind of how that momentum goes a lot of times. And so I think. I think that's helpful, right, that we kind of understood the. The game.

Speaker C: And then when you do get a chance to sit down, a lot of times you just want to be by yourself.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker C: So that's just so you can, you know, keep your mental together and jump back in it, because you. You only got a little bit of time to do that. So you might be to pull an hour or something like that. 15 minutes. So like I said, you just. You just make it.

Speaker B: Or at the end of the day on the tour bus when my curtain closes, and it's like, hey, how you doing? I'm about to go to bed.

Speaker A: Good night.

Speaker B: And just so. But I think the. The. The thing behind that is being confident in who you are, being secure in who you are. I think there's a reason why we don't necessarily have any issues when it comes to trust or being. Being able to go on vacation, you know, or being away from each other. Um, understanding that I got him and he's got me. Like, that is. That is the foundation of what we've built our marriage on. Like, there's no. No challenges there. And I think the difference between my first husband and my second husband is lots of differences, but in the concept of just being confident. Like, David has no short of. Of security. Like, he knows who he is. He's confident in who he is. Um, and so that makes me be able to just be able to be me. I don't have to dim my light. I don't have to, um, bring anything down. I can just honor him for who he is. And he could, because he honors me for who I am. And I think that is kind of our secret sauce to. To our relationship. And I think why. Why it works. Mutual respect, mutual confidence in what we do and how we do it. And so, yeah, that also helps.

Speaker C: It's not one. I don't know, Deja, to go back to your question, it's not one simple answer. I don't think it is, like, it's a combination of things that make it work.

Speaker B: Yeah, okay. Sorry. We'll be just talking, girl. Go ahead. Question.

Speaker A: Um, how do you define the roles in your relationship? Who does what?

Speaker C: I run everything. No, I mean, for me. M. For me is like. It helps because Nina's, uh, parents were together until her dad passed, so she understands the scene, you know, how household was ran, as opposed to, um. You know, a lot of folks who have come from single households, they didn't get a chance to see the role of their father and the role of their mother. So she does a great job of. Of doing that. And then we just figure out how to make it work, because at the end of the day, is. Is either me or her. You know, we don't. Our kids, they grown now, so they don't live in the house. So it's either. Either she gonna pick it up or I'm gonna pick it up. Either she put it on the floor, I put it on the floor there' who actually did it. So at the end of the day,

Speaker B: no more blaming the kiddo. Yeah.

Speaker C: You know, and then, you know, like, cooking, like, I naturally cook. So for years, I. I would cook. You know, I m cooked for the kids. I cooked for everybody. Just recently, you know, when Alex, uh, moved out and kind of went off to school, that was the last one to come out of the house. We started eating out. So we eat out pretty much every night. The rule is, if you go eat junk. Yeah, no, we eat very well. Um, the rule is if you stop to get something, you just get something for the other person. So, you know, and it's, you know,

Speaker B: it's an unspoken rule. Well, that's not something we like. This is our rule. Like, this is something that we do

Speaker C: know that you got to get something because, you know, you know, there's no food in the house. So you're not gonna come home and just sit down and put your plate on the table and just start eating your stuff, just looking at the other person. So you try to, you know, try to grab something for the other, you know, the other person. And sometimes we'll buy, uh, two sets of meals. We'll buy a meal for right then and we'll buy a meal for later on.

Speaker B: So, yeah, so, and we try. We'll go grocery shopp and some. Some cooking will happen every once in a while, but not lately. The last couple. Once we tried. I do a lot of frozen, like, fresh vegetables. And, you know, I like to better have something available that I can just pop in the freezer and steam or something. Yeah, I just be able to go in and grab salad or whatever. But, um. But you know what? One of the things that, uh, attracted me about you is that you do have some traditional values about yourself. And so when you're talking about the household and stuff like that, um, I

Speaker C: take out the garbage. You don't touch the garbage unless I'm on tour.

Speaker B: Let's get it straight. I can, but I. I don't have to. Right.

Speaker C: So.

Speaker B: Yeah. And sometimes I forget when he on tour. But yeah. So, you know, understand that I did all of that before. So it's not like I can't do it. It's not like I. I know how to mow the lawn. I know how to change oil. There's all things I know how to do because I had a daddy. Right. Um, but what I think what. What works for us Is that the traditional values that you uphold are similar to what I grew up in my home.

Speaker C: I got it from my grandparents, honestly. I mean, that's where I saw, ah, my grandfather take care of the house. My grandfather fixed something. But grandfathers, if something broke, you know, they would be the ones that would fix it, you know, so just the regular things that you just naturally, you know, you naturally do cut the grass. You know, I take care of outside.

Speaker B: He takes care of outside, and some of the inside too.

Speaker C: I mean, if you don't.

Speaker B: We don't have any real traditional values. He. He washes his own clothes, I wash my own clothes. We don't generally intersect those.

Speaker C: Um, I don't want my stuff bleached or faded, whatever. So if you get the.

Speaker B: You get the vacuum and get the spiders out the basement sometimes. I don't mind doing any of that, but I think, um, it's helpful to have somebody who is willing to do that stuff so I don't have to. And so. And then. Right. Dishes. Yeah, it depends. We don't really like if they're in the sink. You know what it is, really, who's ever tired of it the most will end up fixing it and changing it and moving it. I do the bed linens, though. I'll change, uh, clean all the laundry and folds towels and all that type of stuff. And that wasn't anything we discussed. It's just kind of how it worked out.

Speaker A: You.

Speaker B: You did want to take care of all the outside stuff. That was. You got your garage and your little man cave sort of thing happening out there that we had to clean up. But other than that, we don't really. We don't have a lot of traditional roles. Whatever needs to happen, we just figured out how to make it happen. And we don't really argue about stuff like that, like. Nope, that's it. That's how my roles. It's not even a source of contention in our house.

Speaker A: No.

Speaker B: Nice. You vacuum too?

Speaker C: Yeah, I'm clean. I'm pretty clean. Pretty clean.

Speaker B: You do like to leave stuff around the house. Yeah, but I have to pick up after you.

Speaker C: I mean, that's part of the game. I mean, now what game are we playing? Well, what I will say is one thing that I do that you pick up is like, I'll eat and I will walk away from my plate and like, you'll pick that up.

Speaker B: He likes when I pick up his plate.

Speaker C: That's just. I don't. That's the thing. I will like it. Sometimes I get like, he gets a kick out of it, so.

Speaker B: And I don't mind doing it. Like, those are the small, like, little things. I remember when our daughter first found out, she saw it with her own eyes, and he would leave his plate, and it'd be a mess, and I would come after and clean it and stuff. And she was like, what. What. What's wrong with him? How come he can't pick up his on? I was like, it's not like that. Like, it's. It's not that he can. It's that it's something that we just do. And I know he enjoys, so I enjoy making him happy in that regard. It's a little something. Small thing. Takes me two seconds to pick up this plate. So that's a domestic thing that people probably would never think that I would do, but I do. All right, next question. Next question.

Speaker A: Nice. So I seen that you. You mentioned the daughters. Um, so some may or may not know that you're a blended family. What advice would you give on being a great blended family?

Speaker C: Oh, wow. Don't blend the family until you know it's gonna work.

Speaker B: Yeah. You have to know, I think part of us, especially as we. We got together a little older. Right. He had a daughter, I had a daughter. Um, they are part of the relationship. I don't care how you. You can't. You can't have a relationship without including your family, at least the ones that are in your house. And it was important for me to know that my daughter, um, was okay with the relationship. You know what I mean? Would. Was okay with making sure that we have light. What's going on in the studio? Uh, okay, so we'll keep going. So. Yeah, it was okay.

Speaker A: It was.

Speaker B: It was important for me to. To make sure that Alex and him had a relationship outside of me. It was important for me to. To make sure that, um, I had conversations with her about how she felt about him being in our family, all of that type of stuff. And so. And we were really good friends before anything happened. So, like, he was around already for a while, um, before we actually move forward with something more serious. So she got a chance to get to know him. And, um, coming out of being in the relationship with her dad, you know, she. She has grown to find him as an amazing stepfather, and she calls him that. So, um, what about on your side?

Speaker C: Uh, let's see. Deja will. Deja lived in New Orleans, so she would come up for. For the summer. But for me, it was just important that, you know, she was received and she felt loved. So, you know, had a conversation with her, uh, you know, like you said you were Alex. Seeing how she felt, seeing how, you know, how she was treated, did she feel comfortable with the situation? Because that's it. For me, that was a deal breaker. If. If it didn't work for her or for some reason I felt like she didn't. She wasn't comfortable, then I wouldn't have moved forward with it, you know, so her name. They have a good relationship. Yeah, they talk. Talk a lot. But, you know, they. They figure out, you know, how to talk or they'll try to surprise me with something. You know, they'll get together and come up with an idea or.

Speaker B: She needs money.

Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, she calls everybody for money.

Speaker B: But, yeah, both of them. You know, we are ATM machines these days, so.

Speaker C: All right, yeah, they don't discriminate. We get calls. I get random. It don't matter. Sometime at the same time, sometime weeks apart. But both of them, they don't have any problems, ask for money.

Speaker B: They're adulting. They're trying to adult.

Speaker C: So as their parents and, you know, and position that we have, though, that's our responsibility to help them as long as they're trying.

Speaker B: So, yeah, I think. I think that that's the key. It's just communication and making sure that, you know, all parties are on board. I think the other extension to that is the other families. So his family, mom, sister, dad, you know, stepmom, bro. Like, all of those folks, too, are involved. You know what I mean? They may not have as much say so as the children, but it's important that David met my family and they all get along, you know what I mean? Like, they. Mutual respect for one another. They don't have to love each other, but mutual respect for one another. And, you know, one of the things that I noticed when I was dating Davis, how well he treated his mom. I think it is a surefire way of being able to tell the kindness of someone. Right. And how they treat their mom. Um, and. And will. Will most likely be how they treat you. So, you know, Dave loves. Loves his family and. And parents and super family guy. I'm, um, a super family guy. Where our family gets together, girl. Yeah, I'm super family girl. Our family gets together a lot, so it's important for him to be able to blend into that. And, you know, we like to party and hang out all night. He's not a hangout party person all night, but he'll dip in and come around for a bit. And then dip out. That's kind of how our, our roles are, because our family likes to stay up real late.

Speaker C: Our families are, like, totally different.

Speaker B: They are.

Speaker C: Your family gets together and they interact with my family. They don't. You know, our immediate family gets together randomly, so it's different. And I get a chance to experience, uh, you know, both sides of it. Yeah, I come hang out for a little while, say hi to everybody and spend a little time. And then. Yeah, then I dip.

Speaker B: He dips. Which is. Okay. Did we answer the question?

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: Blended family.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: Okay, what you got next?

Speaker A: So now that we're talking about family, how important is the support of family and friends, um, in business and in your relationship?

Speaker C: Friends, whatever. If I depended on my friends to help me out, I'd be homeless. I'm not even gonna hold you up.

Speaker B: Oh, man.

Speaker C: You know what I'm saying? It's. I, I mean, they're friends. Friends. That's what they are. And in business, a lot of time, folks have the misconception of you're supposed to, um, depend on your family and friends to make it work. And I just, I, I believe opposite. You know, you need to go out there and, um, and build a relationship with folks who are not your family and friends. And for me, I can only speak personally for myself. Seems like those create new friendships because for some strange reason, a lot of times, folks who you don't know will support you more than folks that you do know for whatever that reason is. And then a new friendship is forged is based off of that business relationship. Whereas, you know, the people that you grew up with, um, situations put you together. You know, it might be that you guys went to high school together. So the relationship is based off of you going to school every day, not the fact that you're business minded. And they, they, maybe they're not. You know, they could care less about a business, maybe that, you know, 9 to 5 or SSI or, you know, they could be on anything. But that's not where that relationship lies. So I really don't, um, connect my business and my family together like that. But what I will say is growing up in a household of entrepreneurs, like, you know, I've. I've got a bunch of brothers, and all of my brothers are involved in real estate in some way or form. So we're able to feed off of each other, you know, at any given time. You know, we can pass deals and things back and forth to each other. Me being the oldest, you know, everybody comes to me for a little Direction, and, you know, vice versa. I can still get direction and guidance from them. So that's how I look at the family side, you know, side of it. But I really don't depend on my family to, uh, to support the business per se. You know, they support me just because they love me as a family member.

Speaker B: Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing. I think the support is in the person. Not necessarily. And that then supports the business. You know, when I started this business 23 years ago in entertainment management, um, you know, I. I definitely tried to get my family and friends involved in the business and somet work out and sometimes it wouldn't. And I just think, you know, I appreciate the time that I had that I still have with my friends and family members who come to be a part of what I'm doing. Like, but I don't expect it. Like, it's not like, you know, you're my family, you're supposed to be there. That's not how. That's not how that works. And so it's more like if my family wants to get involved with what I'm doing, I'm welcoming them. And so in turn, you know, I've employed lots of family and I've employed lots of friends. Right, your family. And we've been able to make it work. But he's right in that I don't depend on that. That's not something that is like, you know, I'm gonna make sure my family and friends, you know, help me with this business. It's just. It's not like that. Like, not like that. But what's great about it and what I'm thankful to God for is that I'm able to employ. And so one of the things with the staffing company that we. I'm able to do is that, you know, able to, you know, give people a living wage in return for service. So it's not just them coming and, you know, lending a hand for free. And it's not like in the beginning, because there were times where I need everybody, Hey, I need all the hands on deck. And if my friends and family able to come, great. But there are many times where they weren't able to be there and I wasn't able to pay people, and I still had to rally up the troops. And so now I'm just thankful. We're at a point now where if they come, they know it's not a favor for me. I'm actually employing you to come do this work.

Speaker C: Yeah, I think sometimes that's a challenge. Some folks think that you're doing them a favor. And, um, you know, I've seen folks that needed help at times, and I was like, hey, you can come over here and work for us, you know, to help get you back on your feet. And sometimes they would look at it as it was, you know, a fate, like they're doing a favor for us to come help. And I've had to, you know, I mean, in the right way, but kind of get them straight, like, bro, you're like, no, this isn't what this is. You're not doing us. No. Favorite Rex paying you to do the task.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker C: So we need you to. To. To do it, you know, and, um, usually when we have that conversation, it's a tough conversation, but if the folks understand it, you know, they, you know, they jump to it and they kind of get it together.

Speaker B: Yeah. I would say to entrepreneurs, I know a lot of times they say, start with your friends and family. I don't think that's a bad. I don't think it's bad advice. I would say don't put a whole lot of stake in it. If it does, if it happens, great. And they come on board and they can help you do your thing, fantastic. But I would say be careful about, you know, just putting stake in that and relying on that and then getting your feelings hurt. So expectation is, you know, you're my family, you're my friends. You're supposed to be the first one to buy my book or first one to come and buy my service or, you know, help me sell T shirts or whatever it is. And oftentimes that's not the case. And so just making sure you have people around you that are going to support you, whether they're friends, your families, or people that you met in relationship and other areas, just make sure you have people around you that are going to support you and your dream so that they're coming on and doing a service for exchange as opposed to the expectation of family being there. What you got next stage? That was a good question.

Speaker A: That was a great, great question. Um, do you both share the same business values and do you run your companies the same?

Speaker C: No, I made some values, yes. Because as you know, people, me and her as a couple, we have just basic values that we stand on as far as, like, integrity and things like that, honesty. But no, we don't run our companies the same, um, everything for her. It's funny because when we first started dating and became friends, everything where has a process and a procedure, and I had to get used to that. I mean, take your pants off, you fold them up, you put the bill, everything, you know, I'm being, you know, facetious, but everything does have a process and a procedure with her where with me I understand the importance of it, but just the way I'm wired, I don't really move like that as much as, um. And she does. So, yeah, I'm more freestyle, I'm more of. I got a lot of hustle in me, so I'm a natural born hustler. And I had to take the hustle and convert it over. Because there's a difference between being a hustler and a business person. You know, um, the hustle to get you there. But in order to, to grow, you have to step into that entrepreneurial business side of it. Where I think for Nina, she's more like a structured. She has hustle in her, but she's more structured. So whatever she's going to go at, it needs to make sense out the gate where I throw the up against the wall and see if it sticks. Or she's like, no, it's got to be glue on that wall because glue will make it stick. It's not just gonna stick because you threw it up on the wall, David.

Speaker B: So, yeah, he's right about that. I am definitely, uh, more structured. He's definitely more throw it up against the wall, more high, like visionary. He stays in that, that space. And I am a step one, step two, step three type of person. And so, um, we often, um, clash when it comes to how to do a thing, how to do a task, how to change this, you know, run this deal, get this thing to happen, negotiate this money. Like we, we clash in some ways, but he does value my opinion, so. And I give it and then I back up and let him do whatever it is he does to run his company. He's been doing it long enough to know how he runs it and I do it the way and same same thing. So if I have a thing, I'd be like, ah, uh, this is not working this way. You know, I need to change it or I need to, you know, make some decisions and I run it by him. He may give me some ideas on how to kind of manage that or whatever, and then he backs up too. So unless I, you know, really need more information. Don't you think that's how we kind of volley back and forth?

Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. I mean, like I said, I learned a lot as far as structure wise, so it helps to listen. But sometimes you just you know, you got to run with your gut and you just gotta, you know, go out there and make it happen.

Speaker B: I mean, I do run with my gut too.

Speaker C: Oh, no, for sure. It's just, it's everything.

Speaker B: Yeah, but I'm, I'm slow to take to make decisions. I'm faster now than I've ever been. So, like, you know, if you read a lot of the books, rich man porn or whatever, you know, quick to make decisions. Like, once you get into your rhythm, you have to be quick to make the decision because, um, time kills deals. That's one thing he used to talk about all the time, time killing deals. And if you wait and sit too long, that deal kind of dissipates rates. And so I'm, um, quicker now. But I, I don't, I like minimum risk. And so that's why I think my business is, you know, has lasted for this long and I'm just not finding the growth that I should have had probably years ago, but I just didn't. Couldn't figure that out then. So slow risk, but, you know, great reward.

Speaker A: Mhm.

Speaker B: All right, what's next?

Speaker A: Um, how do you avoid competing with one another? And in what ways do you try to support yourself? Spouse's business?

Speaker C: There is no competition.

Speaker B: Um, yeah, that's a hard one. I, Yeah, I don't think we.

Speaker C: I don't, um. Yeah, I don't. I'm not really into competing, especially with her. We're on the same team. First of all, um, Say that question again. What was the other part?

Speaker A: How do you avo avoid competing with one another? And in what way do you try

Speaker C: to support your spouse's business as far as supporting her? Her business is my business. The way I look at it is because if she wins, I win, she loses, I lose. By us being a team. A lot of times when we are out there working, um, it's funny when people do know we're married, or people come to us and they'll be like, I couldn't work with my husband. I don't know how you do it or how could y'. All, y' all be ready to kill him or kill her. And I mean, there's a respect there. Uh, you know, a level respect. When I'm on a foundation management gig, it's. It's her, it's her show. She's the boss. So I'd say probably 98 of the time, what she says goes. Then there's 2% of the time when

Speaker B: I said, though it's important.

Speaker C: Yeah, I might you know, freestyle or it's just, I mean, whatever choice I make, there was always going to be for the betterment of her. So even if I go off, you know, off task, off grid or something like that, I'm still doing it thinking that it's for the best of her, not I'm doing it just because I want to do it. So at the end of the day, it's just, you know, having that person's best interest at heart. But, um, yeah, overall, yeah. But, yeah, there's no, no competition. We either win together, we lose together,

Speaker B: we don't have a competition, uh, at all. Now that I'm thinking about it. I do remember feeling that way in my first marriage, but, um, that's not the case. And this goes back to confidence and being so, you know, and being secure in who you are. Like, you don't, you know, we're a team. I mean, yeah, we have separate businesses and, and all of that, but we're a team. He wins, I win. I win, he wins. The same thing with, I'm on his team helping out true color in some kind of. Kind of way, you know, he's bringing me on to do a particular task or to help him with a particular thing. I do that thing and I back the hell up. I'm, um, not the boss on that page. I don't try to be the boss. I will insert different things at, ah, different times because I see certain things. But I know that it's best for me to pull back and allow him to do what he does. And so that's how we support each other. So if he needs me, I'm there. And vice versa.

Speaker A: Next question, Next question. What advice could you give to other couples who are new to marriage and entrepreneurship

Speaker C: combined? They're. They're married and they're entrepreneurs or correct?

Speaker A: Yes, they're married and they're entrepreneurs.

Speaker C: Both of them.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker B: Like us.

Speaker C: It's not for the faint of heart. This isn't like. I mean, I just laugh because people like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna be an entrepreneur. Me and my wife are gonna do that. This is real. And I mean, it's not for the faint of heart. So if you're not committed or, you know, like I said, I was built for this. She was built for this. So it's not something you just, like, wake up on Thursday and be like, oh, it's just this magical thing. We've had, uh, you know, good days and bad days. We've had some hard days. Most of the time. People just want to show you the. The good things. They don't want to talk about, you know, the struggles or the struggles they had to go to to get the good days. So I always tell folks when I'm talking to, um, usually guys about getting married, I say, just pick somebody has your best interest at heart, because if they've got your best interest at heart, then whatever happens, it'll, you know, they'll do it trying to help you. You know, they'll make mistakes, but it won't be anything that's malicious. So it's the same thing with the business. I mean, if you're with somebody and I've, I've experienced this, you know, growing up families, I saw our family members tried to start a business, but they didn't have the support of the, um, their other side. And that's challenging. I mean, if you're trying to figure it out and the main person that you depending on to help you is not helping you, it's like, damn, how do you. How do you make it happen? And then when you do make it happen, I feel like that could create a form of resentment. Because if, yeah, if. If I've done all of this work and I've made it, and now you want to reap all the benefits. But I say you. I sat there and you watched you not help me make it, at some point in time, that's not going to work out. And I actually, I experienced that in one of my first relationships where it was actually said to me, you know, I want it all, but I don't want to sacrifice. And I was like, well, how's this gonna work? Because outside of giving up my integrity, I'll lay it on the line. I'm not giving you that. But the long hours, the sacrifice, I'll do it. So you mean to tell me you want me to go out there and do all of that and just hand it over to you just because it doesn't really work like that, you know, so. And just make sure that person has your best interest at heart and you guys can figure it out.

Speaker B: Yeah, I think, uh, you know, marriage by itself, without entrepreneurship is hard. Marriage is hard. And you. If you've listened to the show, you've heard me say that you either in a real. If you're in a relationship, you're either fighting to. To keep it good. Right? I'm sorry. It's either work or you're fighting. You're working to maintain it, or you're fighting to get it back to fighting to working. I'm saying that again, you're going to have to work to maintain the relationship. That's all the little things you do and reminders and, you know, love notes and being romantic, going out to dinner, vacuuming the floor. Like you have to maintain a relationship. That's called work. And if it dips off at any given point, you got to fight to get it back to, to the maintenance level. So if you're not willing to do any of those things, first of all, don't get married, right? Don't get married. It's not for everybody, and that's okay. Don't get married. Don't get married just for the sake of having m a wedding. Don't get married just because you love the thought of being in love. Because love is not what people are. Are letting you to believe that it is. And so it's a decision. I make a choice every single day to love this man and to work and maintain and commit and to. To keep it where it is. The maintenance part, right, I got to work at that, you know, um, and a lot of people are not willing to make that choice. And if it gets too hard, you're ready to leave you ready, you know, and so that alone in itself is rough. And so if you can figure out how to. How to have a healthy marriage, um, I think it will really will help if you're trying to then have an. A small business or you're trying to be an entrepreneur. Both of you, you know, if you happen to come together, you guys are already entrepreneurs, then you're going to have to do a lot of work to maintain healthy relationship, right? And communication about all the things about the money, about how you do your business, about coming together, all of that stuff. And so I think a big piece. And we've had to learn. We have to learn. Um, and we're still learning is how to have great communication and just. And always being there to be willing to talk about whatever it is, however hard it might be. And so you. So for me, being more emotional person than Dave, Dave is very cut and dry. People think that I'm black and white. He is like super black and white. And you got to have tough skin to be married. Somebody who is just very, you know, factual. And so. And I'm. I'm like that as well. But I have to get stuff off my chest. So if something that I am dealing with or something I didn't like that he said, or even something in business that I think that he should do something different, I Got to talk about that, and we got to talk about it. And oftentimes, you know, I got to pick the right time to talk. And so there's. There's a lot of nuances about the communication is going to be key, and then making sure you have a healthy foundation for marriage before you try to bring in. You know, what is even more difficult to do is the hours and dedication that it takes to be able to run a small business. That's my. That's my take on that. That's your take.

Speaker A: Nice. All right, last question. What is your goal for your family and your business? And what legacy would you like to leave behind?

Speaker C: Overall, as a unit, we always say we want to leave just something there for our. Our girls to have the option to, you know, for them to pick and choose what they want to do in life where they're not like, a slave to the system. They have options. Um, overall, the business is. It's kind of funny because Deja, I brought her up in fashion, so she naturally, um, gravitated towards fashion. She's worked in the industry from Kate Spade to Louis Vuitton to guests to. She's worked for some other places.

Speaker B: She's a model.

Speaker C: Yeah, she's modeling now. Um, the Ford Agency picked her up, so, I mean, she's doing Essence Festival now, so she was raised in it purposely, and she doesn't realize how much she knows. So for me, it's just easy to, you know, hand something over to her. Whereas, just like with Alex, um, Alex was raised having to go to work with us, um, doing events. She doesn't even realize what she knows because it's just natural for both of them. You know, where people ask us to teach them, and we get paid a lot of money to do the things we do. We've instilled these same things in our girls for. For free. So, yeah, so I guess the goal and the legacy is just to leave them with something and then not just them. You know, the other people that we touch are, uh, you know, outside of our children. Because, you know, most people know, like, I'm, you know, I'm directors, um, trying to mentors. So I do a lot of mentoring with kids, and I always say I'm supposed to take care of my children. So when that day comes and the judgment day. Look, he looks at me. So you took care of your kids? Yeah, you were supposed to. But what other legacies? Who. You know, who else did you help along the way? So I know both of us. It's big, and I Know, Nina, years ago, she said she wanted to be impactful with helping different folks. And that's when she's, uh, started, you know, the, um. Was it fmlm. Say it for me. Foundation Management Services, where she does event staffing, group staffing, and I mean, at any given time, she can have a hundred people working for her. So those are a hundred different people who, in some way or form, she's helping them financially. And I mean, you know, you work with us, the work environment is a lot different. When you show up, everybody hugs everybody. How many places that you go and you work and, you know, as soon as you see everybody, if you're a part of the crew, like, you know, everybody hugs everybody. It's not, uh, it's not a real thing. So, I mean, I think as far as. I mean, for you, it is. That's your world. But I mean, everywhere else you go, deja, how many people you going. You saying you hugging? Outside of our group?

Speaker A: Yeah. No, it doesn't happen.

Speaker B: This is it.

Speaker C: So, yes. I mean, it's awesome. I mean, because it's a good energy. And, you know, you see everybody looking out for each other and. And I think that's a piece of legacy that that's being left. You know, you're touching people's lives in a positive way.

Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, you. You said it. You said a lot of it. I think for our children, um, it's about options and assets, so being able to leave them, um, options, um, and assets. So, you know, good insurance policies and real estate and giving them a leg up where. And hopefully they'll do the same thing for their children. Right. So that continues through generations. Like, that's the type of impact that we talk about making. And so we acquired some properties. We are, you know, moving in that direction. And so insurance policies are set, investments are set. You know, we are moving, we're moving in that direction. So, you know, when. When it's time for us to get to the pearly gates, as, uh, Mr. Coleman said, you know, we'll be okay with what we leave behind and for our children. And then, you know, he's right. He said, you know, I started this company years ago because I wanted to make impact. I wanted to, you know, I. I thought I could manage people and bring something to the table that I wasn't getting when I was in corporate America. And I just knew that I could run a company a little bit better than that. And I think it's more than just, you do a service, I pay you, you do a Service, I, uh, pay you. It's got to be deeper than that. And so when I, as I built the company, I built it with that kind of, you know, idea mind that, you know, if I can pour into people, right, If I can pour into you and help you grow and I can help you, you know, make an impact in your life and then you'll be able to then exchange and do that for somebody else and so, and then that person would do that for someone else. And so that's part of the legacy from a company perspective, um, just, you know, from being who I am, I really want in my little world to impact people so they impact others positively. I think that's pretty much what that looks like. So, yeah, so we're doing that and I'm pretty excited about, um, you know, the growth of the company and you know, the, the team that we have and that team has impacted other team members. And it's just, it's beautiful to see and watch that, you know, things start to happen. You know, this, the spokes on the wheels and the wheels start to go around and round and I've, you know, I've been trying that, trying to get it to go around and around for some time and now those things are happening and I couldn't ask anything else. It's a blessing. And so we're, as, we, uh, we're going to continue to do that and hopefully continue to make impact. Personal impact, business impact, educational impact, entrepreneurship impact, mpp, people's lives so that they can then do the same.

Speaker C: Yeah, you know, as, ah, she was talking too. I keep hearing this thing when we, we first started dating and we're friends, everything. And she talked about being evenly yoked. And when she first, I was like, what the hell is it? Evenly yolked. I'm thinking of an egg, y'.

Speaker B: All.

Speaker C: Every time I hear it, I always

Speaker B: didn't know the word y'.

Speaker A: All.

Speaker C: He didn't know the word I, I just think of egg every time I hear it now. But I mean, it is an importance to making sure that, you know, you guys have some, some of the same values. Nobody's going to be the same. So, uh, you know, you don't look for somebody to be exactly who you are. That's not what this is. But you, you know, y' all have to stand for something in the household. These are our core principles that our house stands on. And then after that, you know, you can vary a little bit, but for your, you know, if you've got a strong foundation, it could Withstand anything. If you've got a weak foundation, then eventually when it hits some type of turmoil or something, it's going to get rocked and it's going to crumble. So the goal is, is like you said, with married couples or folks that are thinking about trying to just focus on the foundation and time will tell the story. You know, if you just keep doing what you're supposed to do, the days will pass. So, you know, I don't say feel pressured to marry somebody, you know, because they're asking or because you sharing houses or because it's cheaper because somebody's pregnant. Those aren't the reasons why you should, um, marry somebody. You know, you should marry somebody because you've decided that I think we can make a better situation together. So, you know, take those same principles and apply it to being an entrepreneur and kind of go, you know, go from there.

Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, in closing, I think, um, the reason why I named the company foundation managers was exactly what you just said. It's building, you know, foundations that last a lifetime. And that was with whoever I touched. Right. So when I was in entertainment management, my goal was to create foundations, um, as I, as I tried to build their career and to, um, help them build legacy and impact. Right. That they could stand on. Right. And the same thing with my team now and my relationship with my husband and my children is I'm always trying to create spaces where they can make their foundation even more strong. And so I think that was right on the head and that we talk about marriage, you know, having something to build on, um, is a key. But first your life, you yourself have to have something that you stand on. What do you believe in, what you don't believe in? What are your deal breakers? What do you, you know, what are you trying to accomplish in life? Like, I'm a competent life goal setting type of person, so it's important to kind of have something to stand on. And I think that itself is kind of a message for life, you know, message for our marriage, message for our businesses, and message for anything that we do build strong foundations. Okay, well, he's giving me the cue. That's. That's all the questions.

Speaker A: Right.

Speaker B: All right, well, thank you so much for joining us for this episode of all things behind the scenes. I really had a good time. Thank you for being here, Mr. Coleman. That's all you got to say to the people.

Speaker C: See you next time.

Speaker B: He's right.

Speaker C: We might not see me, but I'm always close. I'm somewhere close.

Speaker B: He is. So we will see you next time on another episode of all uh, Things behind the Scenes. Thank you again for joining us for another episode of All Things behind the Scenes podcast where we discuss all things events and entrepreneurship. If you are watching us on YouTube, don't forget to follow, subscribe and hit the notification bell to be notified of each new episode. You can also follow us on All Things BTS podcast on Facebook and Instagram. We welcome all comments and suggestions, so let us know what you think. We love hearing from you. So until next time, remember that the only thing that you can guarantee about an event and life is that it will change. Be blessed.

Speaker C: Um.