“You Have No Empathy.” Now What? — with Ed Locher

Episode notes

Ed Locher, a seasoned executive with over 25 years in tech and cybersecurity, joins Claire Hayek for a raw, honest conversation about emotional intelligence, feedback, and what it really takes to grow as a leader. Ed shares how one moment—being told he had no empathy—pushed him to shift from reactive defensiveness to self-reflection. Claire adds brain-based tools around the Default Mode Network and how language becomes a mirror for what the brain repeats. Together, they break down why empathy is a trainable skill and why humility under pressure is a leader’s greatest unlock. Topics Covered: What to do when you're hit with brutal feedback The trap of performance-based leadership Claire explains the Default Mode Network and how thoughts loop Self-awareness vs. self-shame: the brain difference Language as data: how words reveal mental patterns Ed’s strategies for staying grounded in conflict Why ego-resistance can derail team culture Timestamps (HH:MM): 00:00 – Cold open: “You have no empathy” 02:00 – Ed’s background + what happened in that pivotal moment 04:30 – Claire explains DMN and brain loops during stress 06:00 – Performance vs.