Ep#200 You're Trying to Control The Wrong Thing

Episode notes

Most leaders think they’re holding it all together under duress. But often what they’re really doing is gripping the steering wheel of a car that’s already crashed. Control feels powerful, but it’s actually a symptom of fear. When fear runs the show, we end up managing people instead of leading them, and circumstances instead of ourselves. We seek approval and safety in all the wrong places, forgetting that real leadership begins inside us. In this episode, Dex unpacks why our craving for control is so strong, how it quietly fuels burnout, and what leadership looks like when we stop trying to control the wrong thing. You’ll learn: Why fear and control always travel together How perfectionism, micromanagement, and the need to be right drain your energy The hidden costs: lost trust, disengagement, quiet quitting, and team dysfunction What true control really is — agency over your inner state How to lead through curiosity, psychological safety, warmth, and mentoring Dex shares stories from his early leadership days, lessons learned from high-achieving professionals, and practical ways to reclaim your energy and influence without resorting to control.